Could there be anything better than an orgy of sepia theatre? Yes. An orgy of lesbian strippers. Aside from that, this is tops:

Los Angeles

“The God Botherers” — Actress Reena Dutt performs in an ensemble comedy about aid workers in Tambia, a place where there’s no rule of law, the last war’s ruined everything, and the next war will ruin everything else. So it’s like a session of the U.S. House acted out on stage. Mar. 25-Apr 24, Thurs.-Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 7:30 p.m., $15-24, Pasadena Playhouse. (via Hollywood Masala)

“Pounding Nails in the Floor With My Forehead” — (Insert any random joke here about the title describing the dating scene in L.A.). Actor Mark Antani performs a one-man show originally written in 1994 by playwright Eric Bogosian. It’s a collection of eight pieces, with each showcasing a different character expressing rage and unhappiness in a humorous and witty fashion. Mar. 25-May 1, Fri.-Sat. 8 p.m., Sun. 5 p.m., $15, Third Street Theatre.

“Are You With Me? F**k the Middle East — What’s for Dessert?” — As character Vinay Khan, actor Ajay Mehta performs a solo comedy about growing up in India, moving to New York, and becoming the banquet manager of the United Nations. It’s partially based on his real life. We’re guessing that the part about the U.N. is fabricated, as Mehta’s performance demonstrates an effectiveness and efficiency rarely seen from the league of nations. Mar. 23-31, Wed.-Sat. 7:30 p.m., free, reservations required, The Complex.

San Francisco

“Mamlet” — Writer Nihar Patel’s David-Mamet-ized version of Hamlet gets a staged reading by members of the prestigious American Conservatory Theatre. It joins other winners of the 2005 "Write Like Mamet" contest. Rumor has it that Mamet himself entered, but wasn’t chosen. We’re assuming that it’s because his newest piece performs earlier in the evening, and the theatre didn’t want patrons to O.D. on pure street-grade Mamet dialogue. Apr. 2, Sat. 10:30 p.m., free, Geary Theater.