Best opening to a New York Times article in recent memory:
HILLSBORO, Ore. — Like many these days, Shiva sits around too much, eating rich, fatty foods and sipping sugary drinks. He has the pot belly to prove it, one that nearly touches the floor — when he’s on all fours, that is. [Link]
They should hold an essay or short story contest for NYTimes readers that continues this story. Or, our readers can in the comments.