Fast food chains keep moo-ving to India

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p>Taco Bell recently opened its first outlet in India, selling tacos for Rs. 18 and cheesycow shaker.jpg tortillas for Rs. 20 in Bangalore, making people think they’re eating Mexican food. Like McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and others, Taco Bell had to tailor its menu to Indian tastes and preferences, as Saritha Rai writes in GlobalPost.

In chili pepper-loving India, you might think that spicy Mexican food would be an easy sell. But it isn’t quite that simple and Taco Bell has made big changes from its American cousin. “It took us over two years to perfect our three Vs for India — value, vegetarian and variety,” said Bajpai. [Link]

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Yeah, but what about the fourth V: vindaloo. A chili pepper-loving country needs its burrito vindaloo.

Following in the footsteps of McDonald’s, beef is off the menu in this Hindu-dominated, cow-worshipping country. Taco Bell offers chicken instead. [Link]

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Upon reading this, I decided to write a letter to the president of Arby’s.

Dear Mr. Smith,

I heard that Arby’s might be interested in opening a franchise in India and thought I’d tell you a little bit about the country to help you make decisions about your menu, decor, employment, etc. India is a Hindu-loving, cow-dominated, chili pepper-worshipping country. No, wait … that isn’t quite right. It’s a chili pepper-loving, Hindu-dominated, cow-worshipping country. That means, of course, that you won’t be able to sell any roast beef sandwiches there — not a single one — but don’t worry, you’ll be able to sell billions of roast chili sandwiches.

Considering that it’s a Hindu-dominated, cow-worshipping country, it’s very important that you put a big sign outside your front door that says: “Cows eat free.” Make sure your entrance is wide enough for customers to bring their cows with them, and your employees are waiting with garlands and incense. It’s also wise to put pictures of cows on all your signs, with no reference whatsoever to roasting them. Cow-shaped chili-pepper shakers would also be a nice touch, as would a cow-shaped manager.

Another thing: If you happen to get any employment applications from Muslims, Sikhs and Christians, please check their identity carefully. India’s growing economy has attracted people from all over the world, many of whom do not speak the local language and, even worse, have never kissed the feet of a cow.

Finally, you may want to consider changing your name slightly. Arby’s is a fine name, but if you want to score points with Indians (and a certain blogger I know), please consider the name Abhi’s.

77 thoughts on “Fast food chains keep moo-ving to India

  1. The difference between the fast foods here & India is that, here me & my friends would never even think of going to McDonald’s (mostly visited by poor), but in India we used to go to them a lot of time (mostly visited by young crowd, middle/upper middle class). Agree that we are class conscious & western-philic. As i grow older i would prefer idli/vada/dosa anytime instead of those fast foods.

    But “Yo Dad’s” sounds better than “Abhi’s” :-). Abhi’s sounds too Indian.

  2. “India’s growing economy has attracted people from all over the world, many of whom do not speak the local language and, even worse, have never kissed the feet of a cow.”

    Thanks for the laugh early in the morning 🙂

  3. Akash @ 3: Too late. I have copy-righted “Yo Dad”. May be “Holy Cow” or “Gau Mata” 😉 may draw more people. What do you say?

  4. No reference to cow pee as a sacred beverage? Perhaps they should consider aerating it and selling it off as “Gau-ka Cola”?

  5. this is not humourous at allllllll. will u consider making fun or humour as u say of pope who has been indulged in a number of scandals as in past i dont think u would people should respect others beliefs even if they r silllllly because a no. of people have faith in them if u dont like hindus beleiving in cows stuff ur mouth with BEEF and enjoy but dont spurt venom in the garb of HUMOUR

  6. @anskush, #8: I think Melvin is making fun of the original writer quoted in the article who was indulging in the usual moronic writing about India… No need to jump all over him.

  7. When explaining Hindu views towards cows to Americans (and my Palestinian mechanic), I find it is best to compare it to America’s views towards dogs. Americans may not worship dogs, but they certainly would not eat them. Americans have dog shows, dog magazines, & dog parks. Dog food and dog paraphenalia is a multi-billion dollar industry. Films are made about dogs, and sometimes the dogs talk. There is now cow equivalent to Lassie. And, the whole nation was obsessed over Michael Vick’s dog-fighting ring. An Indian cow wishes he was treated as well as a dog in America.

  8. When explaining Hindu views towards cows to Americans (and my Palestinian mechanic), I find it is best to compare it to America’s views towards dogs.

    good analogy

  9. What is a boo-ree-ito?

    tortilla, meat, cheese.

    what is a cha-loo-pa?

    tortilla, meat, cheese.

    What is In-dee-ah?

    hindus, cows, cheese

  10. Kinda mean read. Given that India is not taliban land, this is unkind. Do we grudge you your beliefs? So pl can we have our own in our land?

  11. you might think that spicy Mexican food would be an easy sell. But it isn’t quite that simple and Taco Bell has made big changes from its American cousin.

    Global Post should be liquidated for asserting that Taco Bell sells “spicy Mexican food.” That crap doesn’t even qualify as TexMex.

  12. I was going to include line quotes of my favorite funny parts of this piece, but I realized that I would be quoting almost the entire thing. ;0) This is hi-larious. I especially liked the part about the cow-shaped manager, which I suppose you could easily acheive by importing someone from the US. (oh snap!)

  13. One C is missing out of three Caste – Cows and Curry made it though! I make kay-suh-diya and fa-jee-taa for my veggie son, my daughter’s kosher friends (and my son’s Chinese yindoo-friendly friends – that is one hilarious fusion story yet to be told!) at home all veggie. I have also whipped up a decent Huevos Rancheros using panneer. And I have stopped being surprised by this fusion after i saw my sister’s Mexican friends in Michigan polishing off idli, dosa, gunpowder, sambar, bhatura-panneer-chole with nary a fuss.

  14. And I have stopped being surprised by this fusion after i saw my sister’s Mexican friends in Michigan polishing off idli, dosa, gunpowder, sambar, bhatura-panneer-chole with nary a fuss.

    The Latin and Indian cuisines I think tend to aim for the same gestalt. When I was travelling through Europe most of my American companions at some point towards the end of the trip were pining for a good burger. I, meanwhile, found myself craving Mexican food, of which virtually none exists in Europe.

  15. True story. I went to the drive thru of an Arbys a few years ago and was told they were out of BEEF!!!! I asked them were they aware that the name of their franchise is ARBYS. That would be like KFC running out of chicken and telling their customers they could have corn on the cob and mashed potatotes only.

    Is it true most beef in India is usually from those black water buffalos anyway?

  16. India is a Hindu-loving, cow-dominated, chili pepper-worshipping country

    Awesome 🙂

  17. i don’t know if the analogy is accurate re: dogs & cows, not being hindu or indian, and never having been to india. but it does communicate the relation very strongly. perfect use of an analogy.

  18. don’t know if the analogy is accurate re: dogs & cows, not being hindu or indian, and never having been to india. but it does communicate the relation very strongly. perfect use of an analogy.

    I have always used that analogy with people here with the caveat that ALL animals and life-forms are considered sacred and holy and so many animals (not just holy cows) are made vahanams of some gods and associated with them to entrench them into the tradition for reverence. That way it becomes part of one’s inner belief and so is self-regulating without the need for a law that has to be enforced externally.

  19. The increasing criminalisation of the consumption of beef in what’s supposed to be a secular nation scares me a little. The government of Karnataka has approved a bill banning cow slaughter and making it a punishable offence to even buy beef.

    I’m imagining going back and finding that buying beef is like buying pot… “scores” at different places around the city, the guy lounging under a tree catching your eye and giving you a little nod. You hand him the cash and drive past, he goes into a hut to fetch a newspaper-wrapped packet, dropping it into your car as you drive back. Beef fry tonight.

    (That was the exact MO of one of the weed sellers we used to hit when we were in college.)

    Dirriculous. The sad thing is that the beef in India has so much flavour. You don’t need to find some expensive stall at a farmers’ market to get grass-fed beef. It’s ALL grass-fed! The steaks at a couple of restaurants in Bangalore are the best steaks I’ve eaten. Not as thick as the cuts you get here in the US, but beautiful in terms of flavour and texture.

    The south has always been relaxed about beef… I don’t know why people are getting so worked up now. And it irks me, yes irks me, that people who pointedly don’t eat beef have no problem with cutting off Ma’s skin, curing it and wearing it on their feet. Their FEET! How is that respect???

    Sorry Melvin. Nice post.

  20. Razib,

    Re dogs and cows Indic lore is something like the Egyptian. Every animal has some significance or someone who is venerated can be found who cared for that animal – most animals I mean. Dattatreya a form of Brahma+Vishnu+Shiva is accompanied by among others four dogs of different hues, representing the four vedas. Yama takes the form of a dog accompanying the Pandavas on their last journey out of Earth. After everyone is gone leaving Yuddhisthtra alone with the dog, Indira meets him and offers to take him alone to Indiraloka. Yuddhishtra insists that it is the dog and him or even the dog alone (because the little guy kept them company through thick and thin – possibly a few million years given the spans of time in the lore), but no way he is leaving the dog behind. Yama then sheds his canine form and then boards the big bus out of earth with Indira and his son. The Hare Krishnas of Iskcon (who are most certainly not Gaudiya Vaishnavas or Madhvaphiles whatever they tell you) exhibit a nasty intolerance towards dogs. Probably the founder of the order, AC Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada really disliked them. Who knows, but his followers to this day share the antipathy with unholy glee.

    Beef as I have said here many times is a peculiar thing for Hindus, Christians, and Muslims alike in many parts of India. In Kerala all three eat beef. But in other parts of the South and the rest of India beef is verboten to all except the poor who try to leave it behind as they become wealthier. A lot of the beef in India is called buff because it comes from buffaloes. Buffalo meat is popular in Nepal and the N.Indian highlands and isn’t considered beef. Strange. The famous Bade Miyan’s by Gokul’s and right across from Baghdadi and all three behind Cafe Leopold (that cheap tourist hang out in Colaba) serves buff or bainsa kababs all. Everyone eats it happily.

  21. I’ve never, in my 33 years in India, heard of buff, except when it referred to “the other beef” in a gym. A Bombay thing perhaps?

  22. It’s ALL grass-fed!

    Maybe the stuff at the fancy restaurants, but most of the cows that roam the streets are refuse-fed if they’re fed anything. I don’t think they would even know what to do with a blade of grass if they saw one.

  23. but most of the cows that roam the streets are refuse-fed if they’re fed anything.

    Bet it’s still better than corn-fed!

    Seriously though, cows for consumption aren’t picked off the streets by a man with a stick, but come in from rural areas where they’re fed hay and alfalfa. Those cows that roam the street actually belong to people… I’m not saying they’re not ever slaughtered for meat, but the bulk of the animals are trucked into the city just before dawn.

  24. Killing of cats and dogs for food is a criminal offence in California, and Horse slaughter is banned in most western countries, as is whale meat and dolphin meat Whereas it is widely eaten in Japan There are even several documentaries out, showing the ‘evil japanese’ killing dolphins

    As for leather, historically in Hindu kingdoms, cows which died of natural causes were skinned for leather and leather working is a dalit occupation, precisely due to handling dead cows

    Even in Maharajah Ranjit Singhs kingdom, cow killing was a punished by death

  25. There is already an existing anti-cow slaughter law in karnatake, this new BJP bill, merely tightens the existing law

  26. You’re right, killing cetaceans is contentious only because Westerners don’t like the Japanese. Not because all species of cetaceans are threatened or endangered. Nope, not at all.

  27. You’re right, killing cetaceans is contentious only because Westerners don’t like the Japanese. Not because all species of cetaceans are threatened or endangered. Nope, not at all.

    At this point I think the moral recriminations against killing whales goes far beyond the “they’re an endangered species” thing. There is a deeply emotional aversion to doing so that would probably carry on well after they are no longer endangered.

  28. Yup, it’s similar to why most people naturally don’t eat simians, elephants, etc. The trade in bushmeat only took off after several wars tore Central Africa asunder.

  29. What we need is a public organization that promotes the requirements of beef-and-pork-loving-Indians 🙂

    Maybe I am biased as a Mallu-Indian (Mallus eat more kinds of meat than any other race, except perhaps the Chinese and the aborginal Kiwis).

  30. Killing of cats and dogs for food is a criminal offence in California, and Horse slaughter is banned in most western countries, as is whale meat and dolphin meat

    So then, call India a Hindu State and let’s stop the pretence. I understand that you’re suggesting that eating cat in California is as reprehensible as eating cow in India, but I disagree completely. As pointed out, there are tons of Hindus (including this one) who eat beef. Eating beef is one of the few ways the poor get their animal protein. Muslims and Christians are not prohibited from eating it, and it’s a generally recognised food source… I haven’t yet found a ‘Horse Recipes for the Busy Mother’ cookbook in a general bookstore. I know I’m simplifying, but I don’t have the intellectual vocabulary of many of the commentors here (no snark).

    Even in Muslim states, nobody comes into my kitchen and tells me what to eat. You can buy pork in the Middle East, it’s not a criminal act for non-Muslims. But in beef-ban India, even Muslims can be arrested for buying beef.

    As for leather, historically in Hindu kingdoms, cows which died of natural causes were skinned for leather and leather working is a dalit occupation, precisely due to handling dead cows

    Today, India’s huge leather industry is not supported by a couple of cows that crawled off to die in a field. Cows are killed for their skin. Isn’t it deeply hypocritical to say that as long as you don’t eat a cow you respect it, but have no problems supporting their slaughter with your Kolapuri purchases? (The notes plucked from your HideDesign wallet?)

  31. I haven’t yet found a ‘Horse Recipes for the Busy Mother’ cookbook in a general bookstore.

    That’s because the richest countries in the world, the kind that publish cookbooks, don’t eat horsemeat.

  32. That’s because the richest countries in the world, the kind that publish cookbooks, don’t eat horsemeat.

    Are you being tongue in cheek or painfully literal (and forgetful about France)? Sorry, I don’t know you well enough to know.

  33. I would assume that French cookbooks, being in French, wouldn’t likely be found in a general bookstore in the states.

    The point is, cultures have standards about what they consider acceptable behavior. In India, eating a cow transgresses those standards in the same way that eating a dog or a horse in the US would. The only reason nobody comments about it in the US is because whatever White people do is regarded as “normal” and whatever anyone else does is regarded as “exotic” or “othered.” So all kinds of stuff can pass without comment here that would be commented on elsewhere. Some of the cow protectionists can be a little overzealous, but I really don’t think we’re THAT much poorer as a culture for not eating beef. The mutton in India is way better than what we get here too you know?

  34. I would assume that French cookbooks, being in French, wouldn’t likely be found in a general bookstore in the states.

    You’re now being agonisingly literal. And I now take offence at your suggestion that eating beef in India involves rounding up stray cattle that eat garbage, and that it’s too poor a country to publish cookbooks. I have several Indian-published cookbooks (and if your point is that there are no India-published cookbooks in Barnes&Noble than OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!)

    And about being poorer as a culture… the problem is that a supposedly secular nation is enforcing what is tantamount to one’s relgion’s belief on its entire population, comprising all kinds of cultures and religions. It’s not just about beef or mutton. It’s about a Hindu government telling me what I can or can’t eat. And as I said earlier, the horse and cat analogy doesn’t work, but you’ve clearly not understood my point because you’re so busy telling me where cookbooks are published!

  35. Sorry.

    “Barnes&Noble than” should be “Barnes&Noble, then” “one’s religion’s” should be “one religion’s”

    It’s important to me, but I do hope we’re capable of looking past words and seeing sentences.

  36. And as I said earlier, the horse and cat analogy doesn’t work

    Why doesn’t it work? Your entire point was centered around the availability of horse recipes on cookbooks as some rubric for the acceptability of eating horse in the US. You brought it up. Americans don’t like eating dogs. Up until recently the Chinese did. Does this make American categorization of slaughtering dogs as “animal cruelty” any different?

    Just because we decide to label anything Indian that isn’t Christian or Muslim as “Hindu” doesn’t mean it’s some infringement on your religious liberties.

  37. Why doesn’t it work? Your entire point was centered around the availability of horse recipes on cookbooks as some rubric for the acceptability of eating horse in the US.

    Nope, my point was that eating beef, even in India, isn’t shocking the way eating horse might be in the US. As in, even in India, you can buy beef cookbooks, and it’s served in restaurants and homes without people in general being horrified and newspaper reports that say: BEEF RESTAURANT FOUND!!

    You’re assuming, I don’t know why, that mention of beef in India makes everybody go “Uzhooooooo”. Maybe in certain houses, certain communities etc., but on the whole, beef-eating (at least in the South) doesn’t have the same shock value as horse- or cat-eating. Gorrit?

    Next. The BJP is banning cow slaughter. I assume you know where they come from. Most analysis agrees that it’s purely a political move to marginalise, guess who? The people who are already so marginalised in India–the Muslims.

    I’m not talking about my religious liberties. I’m talking about my personal liberties. My right to eat whatever meat I want (within reason). Now you’re saying that it’s not reasonable of me to want to eat beef in India because that’s like wanting to eat horse in the US. And I’m saying you have completely the wrong picture.

    Just because we decide to label anything Indian that isn’t Christian or Muslim as “Hindu”

    So not eating beef is an “Indian” thing, not a Hindu thing? Show me more of this two-dimensional, monochromatic India you have in your head.

  38. Nope, my point was that eating beef, even in India, isn’t shocking the way eating horse might be in the US. As in, even in India, you can buy beef cookbooks, and it’s served in restaurants and homes without people in general being horrified and newspaper reports that say: BEEF RESTAURANT FOUND!!

    Refer back to what I said earlier: The only reason nobody comments about it in the US is because whatever White people do is regarded as “normal” and whatever anyone else does is regarded as “exotic” or “othered.” So all kinds of stuff can pass without comment here that would be commented on elsewhere. The converse is also true. Things that go without comment here are also likely to find acceptance elsewhere simply by virtue of cultural hegemony.

    [quote]I’m not talking about my religious liberties. I’m talking about my personal liberties. My right to eat whatever meat I want (within reason).[/quote] Liberties are liberties. I don’t bother categorizing them. The fact is, societies decide some meats are off limits for a variety of reasons. Why does India’s have to alter its preferences to suit your tastes? I reckon they also would look at you funny if you started digging into monkey-brains or snakes.

  39. Yoga Fire, I’m going to stop now because I’m starting to feel as if I’m going crazy. One of us is being really dense and I honestly don’t know if it’s me or you! Peace.

  40. Next. The BJP is banning cow slaughter. I assume you know where they come from. Most analysis agrees that it’s purely a political move to marginalise, guess who? The people who are already so marginalised in India–the Muslims.

    Thom, can we leave the BJP out of this?

    This is a matter of the Constitution of India, The Directive Principles of State Policy

    Article 48 {Organisation of agriculture and animal husbandry} The State shall endeavour to organise agriculture and animal husbandry on modern and scientific lines and shall, in particular, take steps for preserving and improving the breeds, and prohibiting the slaughter, of cows and calves and other milch and draught cattle. Article 48A {Protection and improvement of environment and safeguarding of forests and wild life} The State shall endeavour to protect and improve the environment and to safeguard the forests and wild life of the country.

    Vast swathes of what the government calls backward classes -Yadavs particularly – oppose cow slaughter. You may sue for interpretation of this article, but it is still a constitutional matter. Anyone who is interested in the origins of this can check out the debates of the Con.Assy. – I haven’t yet. Apart from the BJP Hindus, Jains (small in number but powerful ethically and financially) and vegetarians of all religions and above all Uber Vegan Maneka Gandhi raise a ruckus every time there is talk about loosening up on beef. It’s comical.

  41. So basically this is funny because India is a country full of ‘cow-worshipping’ people who are fooled into thinking they’re eating Mexican food at Taco Bell? Does anyone realize how condescending that sounds???