Please don’t Swagger like them

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I know I am going to get in trouble for this post. I mean, what kind of a**hole makes fun of a pregnant woman? This is why our headquarters is in a secret North Dakota bunker where I can be safe from shoes hurled at me:

MIA cross-bred a lady bug and a zebra and then skinned the resulting spawn alive to create her outfit. PETA is going to lose its sh*t over this. For real.

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I was at a loss for words while watching this last night so I consulted a dictionary in order to find the right words:

Hot Mess: (NOUN) term used to describe somebody that has NO REASON to look the way that they are lookin at the time. [Link]

Also, I can understand why TI, Lil Wayne, and Jay-Z were up there (I guess some consider them better than Lupe Fiasco who was in the audience), but why was Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rapping on stage with them also? What am I missing? The whole thing was just a dissonant mess.

For those of you that didn’t realize it, MIA was a real soldier last night. Her baby was actually due yesterday! Got that? The baby decided to stay inside the womb longer than it was supposed to so that it would not be around the bear witness to that performance. I mean, you got to give MIA props for her dedication but you also got to give that baby boy props for barricading the door.

49 thoughts on “Please don’t Swagger like them”

  2. Yeah, way to go MIA, what a trooper. Nay, poster-mother. She managed not to shoot the little one out while gyrating and bouncing on stage. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the bass she was exposed to induced labor later that night.

  3. No but really, would it be technically possible for her water to have broken on stage? I mean it would have been, right? Damn, that’s an interesting risk to have taken.

  5. “No cervix on the stage is dilated like mine, dialated like mine, dialated like mine”

  6. I know she has her crazy style, but I wish that she’d worn a little something nicer or non-M.I.A.-ish as a maha-pregger performing on stage. She just don’t give a whaaat. She even kept up her mini pelvic thrusts. Was she practicing?

    The only ones on stage that didn’t look crazy were Hova and T.I. (though T.I. did look like he was on his way home AFTER the party).

  7. Looks like a typically rambunctious hip-hop perforance to me. Which I know still puts off and disturbs some people, even in this day and age.

    Of course, it would help if the sound quality was better.

  9. 5 · ShallowThinker said

    “No cervix on the stage is dilated like mine, dialated like mine, dialated like mine”

    LOL! ROFL!!!

  10. Whoa boy, Kanye’s going to come after you with the CAPSLOCK for comparing him to Carlton! 😉

    When M.I.A does something like this, it’s like the famous Bjork swan dress to me- why is anyone surprised?

  11. It is so good to see a strong South Asian woman doing hip-hop at the Grammy’s with all those guys– I would have loved her in any outfit! There were too many others on stage w her though- it was her nomination, should have been more her song.

  12. Well, someone’s got to be like the Pelvis in rock and roll and put the hip in hip-hop.

    Rumor has it that Janet Jackson was at hand to accidentally-on-purpose breast feed the baby on stage.

  13. I like MIA and do not normally mind weird outfits. But man, that outfit was too silly looking. Would it hurt to be a tad classy when you are 9 months pregnant? But it was fun to watch her look like a collection of bowling balls dancing. I had a good laugh.

  14. Swagger Like Us Starring 4 Penguins and a Pregnant LadyBug. W…T…F Kanye needs to ditch the Afro-Mullet and become a normal human being again. Oh wait. Kanye … Normal human being … What am I saying? Okay, I’m done abusing the ellipsis.

  15. “No cervix on the stage is dilated like mine, dialated like mine, dialated like mine”

    Dude, thanks for making me smile!

  17. I think Lakshmi Shankar, Louis Banks, Debashish Bhattacharya and Zakir Hussein were nominated for Grammy awards and Zakir Hussein won an award.

  18. I think she couldve had a still-sexy but not such a WTF? outfit on, but I am going to give her serious props for getting up and rocking out! You go girl! I will say that I don’t recall many of her outfits being, err, tasteful or laidback before this so why should pregnancy stop her?

  19. MIA is known for her outlandish style, her outfit didn’t really bother me that much. I give her props for being up there and rocking it. All I could think when I was watching her was how miserable I was during that last month of pregnancy, so I am in awe tht she was able to perform

  20. I bet some grammys stage director told her: “All the men will be tuxing it up so could you coordinate by wearing something black and white as well.” I’ll give you black and white! She wasn’t about to get up there and blend in and go unnoticed. Oh. Hell. No.

  21. First babies usually arrive late. Someone tipped her off, is all. I think she looks excellent in her sheer onesie with polka dot strategic supports, and very gorgeous in the other offstage outfit (scroll down) as well. Maybe you have to go through it to appreciate how great she looks and how strong and buff she is…

  22. That was horrible.

    Forget MIA, what was that 80s almost-a-gerri-curl (sp?) hairdo? Seriously, these guys will bring back parachute pants and those one piece things Men At Work used to wear! Have they already?

    *I’m old, okay?

  23. Oh, and I’m not a big MIA fan, but good for her for doing her own thing.

    Carlton, of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, er, fame, once danced madly to the Oprah theme song and it was the funniest thing I’d seen on the show. Hey, I said I was old.

  24. I was shocked when I saw what she wore, but after looking at other pictures of her, she was very much true to style – her style. ;0)

  26. Yipee for the rich kid with the cool artist mom of humble beginnings who made it big against all the odds!

  29. MIA was a real soldier last night.

    Ok, I like MIA and all… But. It is not like she is the only would-be mother in the world who went to WORK on her due date. Most maids, washerwomen and female construction workers in the world (and a belly-dancer I once met) have no choice but to go to work while bursting with their pregnancy and, perhaps, be back at work on the third day after delivery. Due date or not, I bet you anything MIA knew how dilated she was or how dilated she was not.

    –Three-time mom who was never MIA at work while pregnant and dilated.

  30. This is why our headquarters is in a secret North Dakota bunker where I can be safe from shoes hurled at me:

    Is that ‘North Dakota bunker’ reference supposed to be funny/clever for you Ivy League wealthy South Asians living in Manhattan? As a brown guy, having lived in rednecks parts of this country…I find it offensive.

  32. Kashy barfed

    As a brown guy, having lived in rednecks parts of this country…I find it offensive.

    . Aaww… My heart bleeds for you and your miserable existence. Maybe if you work really hard and get a decent education (the lack of which clearly shows in your posts), you too can have a better life. Till then, accept it and hang out in places that don’t offend you (I suggest the Rediff comments board- they are looking for trolls just like you)

  33. it was whack. but the rich are different, her kid is heir to one of the larger fortunes in the world.

    Keeping it real!

    That kid is going to be a slumdog billionaire.

  34. Yipee for the rich kid with the cool artist mom of humble beginnings who made it big against all the odds!

    who knows.. maybe he can become a superstar by peddling some dilettante terrorist porn that’s hipster fashionable in 20 years.

  35. For a second there I thought I was watching the Maury Show – One pregnant chick and 4 black guys. Hey you kids get off my lawn!

  36. MIA’s outfit is vaguely Marsupian (Marsupialan?), except with polka dots and a weird 70’s disco ring under her shoulders. Even weirder though is the reaction of all the dudes on the stage, just what exactly IS sunglasses dude doing with his hand over her belly like that? I also give MIA props for soldiering up there like that, and her music is Phat (or whatever the new slangy description is), but darn, that poor little tyke is gonna develop issues if he ever sees that photo.

    I realize we all have Bad Photo Days here and there, but that pose is Double Take-Inducing- one’s center of gravity changes by 9 months in and it only, um, accentuates that polka dot whatever-it-is pattern she’s got on. And I was just in Harajuku Japan where high school girls dressed like fairy tale characters get into nasty catfights with Shibuya girls so bronzed from artificial tanners they look like they just hopped out of the deep-fryer at Burger King. Yeah, MIA’s outfit is even weirder.

  37. Am I the only one who liked it? I thought it was a little bizarre, for sure… but the Grammys are supposed to be about taking risks and having fun. I was more impressed with her choice of shoes — I was seriously scared she was going to jump up and down in those platforms and induce labor…

  38. REMO gets comment of the day.

    For a second there I thought I was watching the Maury Show – One pregnant chick and 4 black guys. Hey you kids get off my lawn!

  39. meanwhile, an article about M.I.A. makes the top of the NYT website with, um, a prominent picture. It is good for Mathangi’s career but what a poor piece of gossipy journalism!

    I wonder if NYT would publish an article on what my neighbors think about me next.

  41. who knows.. maybe he can become a superstar by peddling some dilettante terrorist porn that’s hipster fashionable in 20 years.

    May baby billionaire have a better life. Best wishes to the young family.

  43. 39 · Anokha said

    but the Grammys are supposed to be about taking risks and having fun.

    silly me. here, i thought they were about peddling records and shilling for the music biz with assorted antics. i guess faux-lesbian kisses are passe, so the ante has to be upped.

  45. thanks to MIA, all us brown girls now have a GREAT new halloween costume…too bad there’s only one Weezy, and that’s no costume he’s wearing.

  46. caught this performance waiting for my flight in chiang mai…she looked like an egg wearing a diaper.

  47. i should add that i give her mad props for being on stage and the ridonkulous outfit doesn’t take away from her obvious talent.