On Getting a Tan

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What does it mean to get tanned when you’re brown to begin with? This is a question particular in some ways to South Asians living in northern countries — where you don’t get much exposure to sunlight much of the year, and where you are surrounded by friends and colleagues who do take pride in “getting a tan.” (In India, home of “Fair and Lovely” ointments, there is no culture of tanning.)

This came up for me because I recently went on a short vacation with my family in the Caribbean. We went to the north coast of the Dominican Republic (a major tourist destination, I know). We rented a small villa near, but not in, one of the massive resorts that dominate the “Silver Coast.” Quite nice, overall, and restful.

I didn’t actively seek to get a tan, but I definitely came back a lot darker than I was when we left. My wife also got quite dark, and even my 18 month old son got a bit darker, though we were careful to keep his delicate skin protected wherever possible from direct sunlight.

Now, I generally like getting a bit tan — it seems to bring out some rich orange tones in my “brown” complexion. And I’m certainly not one of those people who would ever say that fairer skin is more appealing than darker skin. There are many different ways of being beautiful, and I find the desi obsession with skin tone (especially as it indexes with the matrimonials culture) tedious and embarrassing. (And sometimes tragic, as in this recent story posted on the News Tab)

Nor is it the case that getting tanned is new to me: living on the east coast of the U.S., one generally finds one’s skin tone in August to be a few shades darker than it was in May, even if you’re one of those people who tends to hide indoors in front of books and/or a computer 95% of the time.

But here’s the odd part. On occasion, over the past couple of days since coming back, I’ve found myself feeling slightly embarrassed to be so tan — as if part of me is thinking, “wait, everyone, this isn’t my normal skin tone!” And then I’m immediately embarrassed to be embarrassed — because what the initial embarrassment perhaps reveals is an unconscious skin tone bias that comes out if and when one’s skin tone does in fact become darker. (More forgivingly, it might simply be that one is always embarrassed to look a little different from how one normally looks.)

Has anyone else ever been embarrassed to be tan? Or conversely, are there desi readers who particularly enjoy seeing their skin get tanned?

163 thoughts on “On Getting a Tan”

  2. I got sunburnt plenty of times, up to the point that the skin peeled off my nose. So yes browns can burn. I guess it’s the harsher sun up here in Northern Europe.

  3. 29 · Pagal_Aadmi_for_debauchery said

    Hmm…2 readers have self identified themselves as dark and 5 as light skinned. I think we are making progress. A couple of years back almost no one would call themselves ‘dark’ on here 🙂

    Hella dark. Hella cool with it. Brown in da house;)

  4. Paging SM Intern #53 — I didn’t intend for my email addy to appear with my comment. Can someone help me out?

  5. 39 · Rahul said

    My complexion is like a good wine. The body has well balanced, ripe, soft tannins, has a satisfying, mouth-filling texture, and boasts of a satisfying, lingering finish. It goes superbly with spicy dishes.

    I LOL’d here. Not too loud, not too soft. Just right.

  6. It took a while, but I really love my darker skin (and perhaps as the ultimate sign of self-acceptance, prefer (not require) darker skin in partners). Although I still have those moments when my colour becomes an issue – e.g. my aunt in India who never fails to comment on how fair I used to be (I was – 28 years ago as a baby!). But those moments are rare and easy for me to shrug off now. Pretty much the only issue that I have with it that it is super-hard to find a match in make-up…

    For my brother, though, it was much tougher growing up brown – he has very dark skin and was called all sorts of (racist) names through middle school, and I think it was really rough on him. One day he asked my mother why he was so much darker than the rest of us, and she told him it was because he ate so much chocolate. The kid was smart, though – he switched to white chocolate for a bit after, that 😉 Oddly, he was the only one of us who, despite all the negative comments and having already-dark skin, wanted to go to the beach with the specific purpose of getting a tan 

  7. hey. i haven’t posted anything in a while but just wanted to weigh in a bit while fondly reminiscing about my time in LA. i LOVE getting browner tho i am a bit fairer than most (too northern in origin). my mom always kept us out of the sun. no swimming in the afternoon, no sitting out in teh sun, playing soccer growing up was – for her – a frustrating interest. but i also spent almost all my life in NY and PA and didn’t really get all that much sun as school has taken over my life. i love getting tanner. i dont actively seek it out, but (despite getting occasionally burned) i definitely enjoy it and think i look and feel healthier. 🙂

  8. My complexion is like a good wine. The body has well balanced, ripe, soft tannins, has a satisfying, mouth-filling texture, and boasts of a satisfying, lingering finish.

    Rahoooool, this is what I’m hearing you say – note: THIS IS NOT A TRANSLATION

    “OOOOooooooAAAAaaaaaah my skin is like fine Corinthian leather, eyes like two pools of 10W40, lips like two leeches makin’ love oooooOOOOOOooooooAAAAaaaaAAAAh”.

  9. compare & contrast: Anyway, I can laugh about it now, but it has definitely impacted my preferences. To this day, I will not date a woman lighter than me and generally have an affinity for the darker hue, so yes, fair skinned people are effectively dead to me, lol.

    vs.

    It took a while, but I really love my darker skin (and perhaps as the ultimate sign of self-acceptance, prefer (not require) darker skin in partners).

    i’m sure the first comment was meant in jest, but inverting the harshness of brown colorism doesn’t make it OK, does it? people can have their preferences, but shouldn’t be civil about it and not assume that it has that great of a social or ontological importance? (i.e., i think it is someone’s business what their aesthetic preferences are, but another thing if they talk about how great their preferences are).

    i wonder if someone could design an IAT type test for colorism. i’m actually curious how prejudiced/biased i am toward lighter skin….

  10. 56 · ak said

    It took a while, but I really love my darker skin (and perhaps as the ultimate sign of self-acceptance, prefer (not require) darker skin in partners). Although I still have those moments when my colour becomes an issue – e.g. my aunt in India who never fails to comment on how fair I used to be (I was – 28 years ago as a baby!). But those moments are rare and easy for me to shrug off now. Pretty much the only issue that I have with it that it is super-hard to find a match in make-up…

    I’ve had amazing luck with the following: Becca under eye concealer (Pecan works for me) Bare Escentuals (I think I wear Warm Tan)

    An acquaintance (another brown chick) went to the Loreal boutique in the Beverly Center and was able to find the perfect shade for a kick ass price. But I think Loreal only has one retail location in Los Angeles.

  12. dude, lol, who said anything about it being “great” or of any importance? it was just a comment on what i’ve “internalized”.

    what’s okay and what isn’t is up to you.

  13. ok i’m more annoyed when people think that brown people can’t get tan. because there’s apparently only one shade of brown.

  14. 39 · Rahul said

    My complexion is like a good wine. The body has well balanced, ripe, soft tannins, has a satisfying, mouth-filling texture, and boasts of a satisfying, lingering finish. It goes superbly with spicy dishes.

    I’m a spicy dish, interested in exploring your mouth filling texture, and most importantly, a satisfying, lingering finish. Care to set up a tasting?

  15. I love the water–swimming and I’m signing up for diving lessons. I love the outdoors–camping and hiking. I love soccer and basketball. I moved back to Hawaii a month ago. I am not really happy unless I’m in the water, something to do with me being a Pisces–or, so I’ve been told:).

    I guess I could have been considered ‘light-skinned’ or at least ‘not dark’, as little as 4 weeks ago. I think my inability to figure out where I stood in the Indian hierarchy/skin-color classification system had a great deal to do with my moving to the tropics.

    It’s not just Indians who associate dark with poor. I’d say it cuts across cultures, mainly because dark is associated with physical labor.

    I’m content being dark. Might not go as far in life, but I really couldn’t give a shyt. I never saw being locked up in an office under flourescent lighting as being ‘priveleged’.

    I’d much rather be poor and dark out here than be rich and light-skinned on the mainland.

  17. 66 · Manju said

    You realize Port, that wine tastings are customarily done in Flights:

    Majnu, uh, Manju, is that a hint? Or only a flight of fancy?

  18. Razib:

    There IS an IAT for skin tone/color over at implicit.harvard.edu:

    Skin-tone (‘Light Skin – Dark Skin’ IAT). This IAT requires the ability to recognize light and dark-skinned faces. It often reveals an automatic preference for light-skin relative to dark-skin.

    May be correlated with the IAT for race:

    Race (‘Black – White’ IAT). This IAT requires the ability to distinguish faces of European and African origin. It indicates that most Americans have an automatic preference for white over black.

  19. It’s not just Indians who associate dark with poor. I’d say it cuts across cultures, mainly because dark is associated with physical labor.

    yes. following pingpong’s comment, i knew of the results generally. lighter skin seems to add some marginal value for immigrants ceteris peribus in terms of income generation. that being said, i wonder how strong the effect is with south asians specifically? most east/southeast asians i know are color conscious (if i know them long enough the brown [though not white-brunette skinned ones] always note that they are lighter than i am, suggesting that they’ve ‘ranked’ themselves), i wonder if IAT would show a weaker or stronger or same effect?

  20. 67 · portmanteau said

    Manju, is that a hint? Or only a flight of fancy?

    Just fancy, Port. I’d never cross Rahul…especially when he’s holding his sword.

  21. I had a strange experience in the IAT – the skin tone IAT was “No result” (too many errors), which I’ve read normally happens when the two things you’re asked to associate are totally orthogonal in your mind, so you can’t switch fast enough. But I did the Presidential candidate IAT just for kicks, and got a weak preference for Hillary over Obama, which I thought was weird. There was one photo of Obama where he looks really tired and sweaty, and I kept sending that to the “bad” bin even if I was supposed to send it to the “good” bin, and I didn’t have this trouble with the better-posed pictures of Obama. Unconscious bias against tired, sweaty people?

    At least they didn’t show a picture of a Bosnian sniper with a bowling ball.

  22. What’s up Deemz!

    You’re a stud, my man. I wish that we saw more Indian heroes like you on Bollywood! I’m proud about your pride in your color. Keep up the brownness!

    30 · deemz said

    being punjabi/potohari, i love getting a tan and getting that “golden-brown” hue ( http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/8826/deemzot9.jpg – i am vain, i think look better with some colour ). how anybody finds fair-yellowish skin attractive is beyond me, especially in this day and age when the advantages of dark skin color are a lower incidence of skin cancer and fewer wrinkles. fair skinned people look dead to me.

  23. Pan African culture…swarthy girls…bro, you’re my long-lost brother!!!

    As a kid, I was so black (and proud) that I thought the Jeffersons was Reality TV. Man, I confused shadows back then.

    50 · deemz said

    It’s funny how conditioning works. My parents weren’t very colour conscious, but I grew up in an environment where I was the only brown kid around and instead of going the whitewashed route, in my confusion I embraced hardcore Pan-Africanist ideologies. I think it’s because I grew up in an era where Hip Hop was exploding and I was naturally drawn to the “cool” factor of AA culture. Anyway, I can laugh about it now, but it has definitely impacted my preferences. To this day, I will not date a woman lighter than me and generally have an affinity for the darker hue, so yes, fair skinned people are effectively dead to me, lol.

  24. The desire to be light-skinned is always there amongst Indians, I’ve noticed. Like Deemz, I was very proud to be dark (in American standards). My ancestors were the darkest-skinned people of all South Asia, and I’m keenly aware of the racism that they face from N. Indians.

    I just hope that Indians start loving the Brown, and start having brown actresses/actors, instead of Afghani imports (i.e. Saif Ali, SRK, Amir are all part Pashtun) or biracial girls (i.e. Preity Zinta is part British and Rajput). Why not fit South Indian guys (not the moustache-man doing the funny dance, but the studs we see in college every once in a while) or a swarthy Punjabi, like Kapil Dev?

    While we’re at it, why not start depicting our gods/goddesses as brown or black? I’m sick of blue-eyed, white-skinned Indian goddesses/gods and white elephants. Heck, even the Chinese depict their Buddhas with Oriental features, whereas Indians make him look like a Bohemian, even though Buddha was Nepali/Bihari.

  25. I don’t think that the issue of fairness of skin is something that Indians from the desh have a monopoly on. For those that do not know me (everyone lol), I’m from the Caribbean, my mum is Indian and my dad is black, and when I say black I mean it not only to point out his ethnicity, but his colouring, daddy is very very dark, and my mum is extremely light, both my brothers and my sister inherited her colouring and I came out a perfect blend of both their colours. I swear growing up I thought her full time job was keeping out of the sun..in Jamaica! I had to take an umbrella to school and use it all day, lol. So I grew up never really going out in the sun for fear of how she would groan and sigh if I came home “too dark”, which, I don’t know, seems kind of hypocritical considering she got married to a man of African decent. I’ve slowly over the years been venturing out into the sun, because I’ve found while I don’t really tan, that is get darker, unless I immerse myself in sunshine for a prolonged period, I do turn into a rather golden brown which is sexy, lol. A few years ago I went to Florida for six weeks and spent the entire time outside in my sisters pool, I came back about 3 shades darker, when I stepped off the plane first words out of my mums mouth were, “oh my god what happened to you?, why you so black!” That’s embarrassing, I just rolled my eyes and walked over and hugged my niece.

  26. Wow, I feel like such an outsider.

    I’m pretty pale for a Punjabi. Nobody (non desis that is) ever thinks I’m Indian, a lot of people assume I’m Italian because of my lighter complexion and dark hair/eyes. Growing up in a diverse area where most people were some shade of brown (Mestizo Mexicans, Filipinos, SE Asians, Black/White mixed kids, Pac Islanders, etc), getting a tan in the summer was a positive thing for me. It meant I wouldn’t stand out so much, that I would actually look more Indian (stereotypically, that is.)

    Nowadays, I’m fine with my natural skintone and getting a tan, no embarassment at all. It just sucks having to buy new foundation.

  27. 74 · boston_mahesh said

    The desire to be light-skinned is always there amongst Indians, I’ve noticed. Like Deemz, I was very proud to be dark (in American standards). My ancestors were the darkest-skinned people of all South Asia, and I’m keenly aware of the racism that they face from N. Indians. I just hope that Indians start loving the Brown, and start having brown actresses/actors, instead of Afghani imports (i.e. Saif Ali, SRK, Amir are all part Pashtun) or biracial girls (i.e. Preity Zinta is part British and Rajput). Why not fit South Indian guys (not the moustache-man doing the funny dance, but the studs we see in college every once in a while) or a swarthy Punjabi, like Kapil Dev? While we’re at it, why not start depicting our gods/goddesses as brown or black? I’m sick of blue-eyed, white-skinned Indian goddesses/gods and white elephants. Heck, even the Chinese depict their Buddhas with Oriental features, whereas Indians make him look like a Bohemian, even though Buddha was Nepali/Bihari.

    Not all Pashtuns are Afghan, many live in Paksitani…you do realize that region was once apart of British India, right? I don’t see how they would be considered mixed then. I’ve never heard of Zinta being part British, and I’m pretty sure Rajputs are Indian too. I’m sick of desis who don’t even know about their own heritage.

  28. A PSA:

    If you are like me and never get sunburned, you might not be producing enough Vitamin D — the same UVB radiation that causes sunburns is also necessary to produce Vitamin D in your skin. If you have aches and pains or chronic fatigue and depression that doesn’t respond to antidepressants, get your Vitamin D levels checked …

    If you live at high latitudes you might need supplements; if you live in a southern, sunny, warm locale, just expose more of yourself 🙂

  29. this study from last year says skin tone affects earnings for immigrants in the US:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/26/AR2007012601202.html Light-skinned immigrants in the United States make more money on average than those with darker complexions, and the chief reason appears to be discrimination, a researcher says.

    however, i have not found this to be true based on the earnings of my friends of different hues. have any of you noticed any correlation between income and skin tone in the US?

  30. very honest post.

    On occasion, over the past couple of days since coming back, I’ve found myself feeling slightly embarrassed to be so tan — as if part of me is thinking, “wait, everyone, this isn’t my normal skin tone!” And then I’m immediately embarrassed to be embarrassed

    this occasionally was the case for me when i was a teenager. but now its just very curious to notice the difference in my surroundings’ reaction to my summertime tan.

  31. Being Punjabi, I am pretty fair and that comes from both sides of the family and being fair is desired in my family. Being Punjabi, while growing up I could not get away from the belief that fair is beautiful. being punjabi/potohari, i love getting a tan and getting that “golden-brown” hue

    No wonder people rag on Scythians 😛 As a Punjabi, I enjoy being outdoors, and I enjoy being tan. I’ve already discussed the stupid comments I get for being “wheatish” on previous threads, but I watch my cousins — many of whom are lighter than I am –, severely curtail their hobbies to maintain their skin tone. Maybe I’m being self-righteous or I have a different utility bundle, but I would rather enjoy snowboarding (in the sun), hiking (in the sun), swimming (in the sun), biking (in the sun), playing soccer (in the sun), etc., etc., etc., than stay indoors to avoid a tan. The only thing I dislike is when my tan is not even; e.g., my legs are one color, arms/face another, neck a third.

    Living in California I never substantially lost my tan, although it did wane in winter. Now that I’m in New England I’ve learned the true horror of losing one’s tan over winter. As far as I’m concerned, I look like a freak. Maybe this is similar to the experience you had, Amardeep, where you felt your tan was not your own?

    I don’t understand why some Indians want to look non-Indian i.e. so fair they are basically white people with dark hair and eyes. It’s stupid.

    Maybe you have a limited understanding of what it means to “look Indian”?

  34. 70 · Manju said

    I’d never cross Rahul…especially when he’s holding his sword.

    C’mon Manju, maybe your pen is mightier than Rahul’s sword?

    ps: I’m dying to respond to your thoughtful capitalism/democracy comment, but I’m exhausted. I will get to it as soon as I can.

  35. I guess I just don’t get it. why not be happy with what you have? I think darker skin is gorgeous but is it really worth the skin damage to sit outside for the mere purpose of getting darker? on that note, its equally bizarre to apply carcinogenic lightening creams in a bid to be lighter. I had a friend succumb to skin cancer at 19 and it was enough for me to realize that these shenanigans are simply not worth it. you won’t catch me without sunblock and I love being outside in the woods and the beach

  36. Deemz, I find it fascinating that you would draw a Punjabi/Potohari distinction. Are you non-Muslim?(you don’t have to answer if you don’t want) If so that means your family left Potohar region (which is more or less Rawalpindi and its surrounding areas) in 1947. That area did have a high number of Sikhs/Hindus before 1947, and even the culture of its Muslims had a strong Hindu influence, but I have NEVER met an ABD (unless Pakistani Muslim) who knows what a ‘Potohari’ is…if you actually know that term you are more aware than most. Most people in the post-partition context in India (or ABDs of Indian background) just say Punjabi.

    Potohar region has the famous ruins of Katas Raj (Hindu temples) as well as quite a few Sikh shrines, some in complete ruin just 60 years post-Partition.

    Potohar region also has its own language (or dialect of Punjabi depending on how you look at it).

  37. “OOOOooooooAAAAaaaaaah my skin is like fine Corinthian leather, eyes like two pools of 10W40, lips like two leeches makin’ love oooooOOOOOOooooooAAAAaaaaAAAAh”.

    And my nose so big you can park a fleet of Cordobas on it. (Ed. — say this in a voice as rich as molten chocolate for maximum effect).

    I’d never cross Rahul…especially when he’s holding his sword.

    Manju, I have people hold my sword for me. Hope you find solace in a double bottom.

  38. 64 · portmanteau said

    I’m a spicy dish, interested in exploring your mouth filling texture, and most importantly, a satisfying, lingering finish. Care to set up a tasting?

    I would never ever say no to an aftertaste of port, preceded by a delicious meal replete with an aroma of nuts and the wafting bouquet of cherry.

  39. I think it’s because I grew up in an era where Hip Hop was exploding and I was naturally drawn to the “cool” factor of AA culture.

    I think that you can say that about most punjabi youth in North America who think that they are Biggie or Tupac.Yet most of these kids grow up in middle or upper class backgrounds.

    I just don’t understand if you embrace the black culture that it’s Ok and cool thing to do, but if you become a metal head or Alt-rocker type you are called whitewashed or sellout. I just love the double standard.

  40. Hmm…2 readers have self identified themselves as dark and 5 as light skinned. I think we are making progress. A couple of years back almost no one would call themselves ‘dark’ on here :

    And when one sees those identifying themselves as fair/light-skinned in person or in pictures it just makes one laugh. If you are not jet black in India you are “fair” or “wheatish” it seems. Whats bizarre is that this is coming from desis who live in the west among a majority that is truly light-skinned, compared to whom the “fair and wheatish” indians are pretty much darkies and often called by that N word. Its so silly to see desis talking about getting golden tans, turning bright red etc. Get real. You arent fooling anyone. You dont turn golden or bright red when you start out as brown or black. The word tan means brown. Non-brown people like whites and yellows get tans. Desis just get even darker.

    This could all be dismissed as harmless self-delusion except that its not. It speaks of a deep-seated self-loathing and inferiority complex that manifests itself in contempt for each other based on a metric in which desis are congenitally handicapped to begin with. It just makes desis look pitiful and contemptible.

  42. 90 · Vyasa said

    The word tan means brown. Non-brown people like whites and yellows get tans. Desis just get even darker.

    I suppose going the way the word “tan” is often used in this context, such as “I need to get a tan” or “I got a tan,” it was the most appropriate word to use for getting darker in skin color as opposed to getting darker in mood. As I said before Indian people generally tend to say “you got darker” and American’s say “you got tan.” I don’t think there is a notable difference from getting tan and getting darker(obviously EVERYONE gets darker when they get a tan) nor is it some sort of delusion.

    Who knew this post would be so popular as to elicit this many comments. Awesome.

  43. Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once. Right, bess? I’ll share if you will 🙂

    I can share, sweet porto, but I call the Moby first! ; )

  44. Also, I’ve read that the Gypsies came from Potohari plateau of Punjab. This, I find amazing.

    86 · Amitabh said

    Deemz, I find it fascinating that you would draw a Punjabi/Potohari distinction. Are you non-Muslim?(you don’t have to answer if you don’t want) If so that means your family left Potohar region (which is more or less Rawalpindi and its surrounding areas) in 1947. That area did have a high number of Sikhs/Hindus before 1947, and even the culture of its Muslims had a strong Hindu influence, but I have NEVER met an ABD (unless Pakistani Muslim) who knows what a ‘Potohari’ is…if you actually know that term you are more aware than most. Most people in the post-partition context in India (or ABDs of Indian background) just say Punjabi. Potohar region has the famous ruins of Katas Raj (Hindu temples) as well as quite a few Sikh shrines, some in complete ruin just 60 years post-Partition. Potohar region also has its own language (or dialect of Punjabi depending on how you look at it).

  45. 89 · Suki Dillon said

    I think it’s because I grew up in an era where Hip Hop was exploding and I was naturally drawn to the “cool” factor of AA culture. I think that you can say that about most punjabi youth in North America who think that they are Biggie or Tupac.Yet most of these kids grow up in middle or upper class backgrounds. I just don’t understand if you embrace the black culture that it’s Ok and cool thing to do, but if you become a metal head or Alt-rocker type you are called whitewashed or sellout. I just love the double standard.

    Not what I meant. I wasn’t into “rap” for the aesthetic. What hip hop did for me was provide a gateway into a way of thinking and viewing the world that was decidely pro-black/non-white and arguably anti-white. At the tender age of twelve, when I first read the Autobiography of Malcolm X, it blew my mind that there was an alternate way of thinking from the latent but always looming white superority that I was immersed in. So I became quite political and militant in my points of view. I read the books of Cheikh Anta Diop and Ivan Van Ivan Sertima which argued for the cultural unity of African peoples and of a global African community that included the dravidian “blacks” of India. So to me, it was much more than aping the superficial aspects of popular AA culture and listening to biggie and tupac, while simultaeonusly referring to blacks as “gorillas” under their breath as many brown kids in fact do.

    It was much more than that.

    It was about trying to find a rhyme or reason to the world, where race just became so obsessively important to me. I could see race in everything, from why poverty was the norm in parts of the world where darker skin predominated and why there was wealth in the west, where whiteness ruled to why barbie was idealized. Also I think it has something to do with my family background. I came from a rural, working class background. We were not “uppity” desis, we were the grunts from the pind. Yes, my dad was intelligent and by his work and determination ended up in the western world, but we always knew where we came from and how important it was for us to continue to be able to relate that. So when we went to the old country, we would live in the pind, we would use the public transport, we would see the abuse of dark skinned people even within our own families. So I always recognized the inherent racist and classist tendencies of my own community and I was sensitive to it. I could only relate to the underclass because that’s where I came from.

    As I’ve matured, I think I’ve taken on a much more intelligent stance towards race and try not to tie it to every issue under the sun. So I’d like to think I have a less of pathology now, but hey, maybe not…lol

    And finally, to me being whitewashed isn’t about the style of music you listen to or the clothes that you wear, but of being disconnected from your own culture and accepting western culture as its superior. It’s also about being wholly ignorant and insulated from the world and assuming western values are universal (or should be). I won’t attach a positive or negative connotation to this definition of whiteness, it’s just how I feel about it.

  46. 86 · Amitabh said

    Deemz, I find it fascinating that you would draw a Punjabi/Potohari distinction. Are you non-Muslim?(you don’t have to answer if you don’t want) If so that means your family left Potohar region (which is more or less Rawalpindi and its surrounding areas) in 1947. That area did have a high number of Sikhs/Hindus before 1947, and even the culture of its Muslims had a strong Hindu influence, but I have NEVER met an ABD (unless Pakistani Muslim) who knows what a ‘Potohari’ is…if you actually know that term you are more aware than most. Most people in the post-partition context in India (or ABDs of Indian background) just say Punjabi. Potohar region has the famous ruins of Katas Raj (Hindu temples) as well as quite a few Sikh shrines, some in complete ruin just 60 years post-Partition. Potohar region also has its own language (or dialect of Punjabi depending on how you look at it).

    Well, I’m from a muslim background, so I am Pakistani. I’m well aware that there was sizeable Hindu/Sikh population partition. My great-uncle has a scar in his from an axe whilst trying to protect the Sikhs in his village. Anyway, I have some older generation Sikhs that migrated from the region to India. They told me that they are referred to as “Papas” in East Punjab, but have more less assimilated like the Muslims that came from the Indian punjab to Pakistan have. They still have warm memories of the region though. Partition, IMO, was a crime but hey, that’s history 🙁

  47. I like mentioning that I from the Potohar. I take some pride that my roots are from that region and that we continue to maintain our own unique dialect against the on-slaught of Urdu, English, and “standard” Lahori Punjabi. I am very interested in knowing about the pre-muslim history of the region, but it’s so very hard to come by.

  48. 93 · bess montalbánullaxxed said

    I can share, sweet porto, but I call the Moby first! ; )

    ladies first, tarts to follow 🙂

  49. I agree, it is not the ‘skin tone bias’ issue, it is more of ‘oh no, why do I suddenly have this mole on my face’ issue…or even ‘oh no, this hair cut was such a bad idea’ issue 🙂

    do not be embarassed brother, we all do it, sometime or the other.

  50. AMFD writes: >>A couple of years back almost no one would call themselves ‘dark’ on here

    Since the last three years of my SM existence, I’ve consistently shown my dark side.

    M. Nam