Once you go Pak …

What is it about Princesses and Pakistanis? First Jemima Khan converted to Islam to marry Imran Khan. Then there was a whole drama between Princess Diana and her one true love, “Mr. Wonderful”, Dr. Hasnat Khan. Diana was reportedly considering conversion and possibly even a life in Pakistan. And now, the ever reliable Sun reports that Britney Spears is also considering converting to Islam and moving to Pakistan to be with her current boyfriend, paparazzi Adnan Ghalib.

But let’s back up to the Diana story first, because it’s the most interesting. According to her butler, Diana begged Khan to marry her:

“This was her soul mate,” he said. “This was the man she loved more than any other. It was a very deep and spiritual relationship.” Khan would often visit Diana and her boys at Kensington Palace, Burrell added, because the Princess was “adamant” that William and Harry get to know and grow to like Khan.

Burrell revealed that he and Diana discussed giving Khan his own quarters at the Palace and that the Princess was so serious about marrying Khan she asked Burrell to find out if it was possible for them to have a private wedding.[Link]

She even met his family in Pakistan and kept in touch with his mother:

[Said Khan’s mother] “She was so nice, so friendly and down to earth. She met my mother, Hasnat’s grandmother, my nephews and nieces, all the family.” [Link]

Meanwhile she stopped speaking to her own mother because of her mother’s opposition to the relationship:

“She called the Princess a whore and said she was messing around with eff-ing Muslims and she was disgraceful and said some very nasty things.” It was after that conversation, he said, that Diana decided she didn’t want to speak to her mother ever again. [Link]

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p>Dodi then, was just a rebound, a way to get Hasnat jealous after he said that cultural differences would make it impossible to marry. This explains why the relationship was so public, and why she courted the paparazzi whose attention would spiral out of control:

She started dating Dodi in part, said Burrell, to make Khan jealous. …”She knew very well what she was doing.” All those tabloid photos of Dodi and Di cavorting on his yacht? The Princess counted on the cameras watching them… [Link]

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p>Britney Spears seems intent on proving the adage that history repeats itself, first as tragedy then as farce:

Meanwhile the fallen singer has been telling pals how much she’s in love with Ghalib, 35 and that she plans to marry him and convert to his faith, Islam. In her crazier moments she’s even been threatening to fake her own death to start a new life with him in Pakistan.

The News Of The World also revealed that Ghalib’s respectable Sunni Muslim family in Birmingham are so horrified by his antics they have disowned him. One family member told the paper: “His parents … are devastated. This week his dad gave him an ultimatum, ‘Give up Britney, or you are dead to me,’ which Adnan ignored…” [Link]

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Meanwhile Pakistani women are wondering what they need to do to get a bit of attention:

“Look at the way they treat our women. I think they are so chauvinistic and full of themselves. I wonder what these women find attractive in them? May be they should launch their charm offensive on Pakistani women. That’s something we women will never complaint against,” Haq chuckled. [Link]

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p>And Rasika is warning other desi men not to get too (ahem) cocky:



Move along guys, there’s no coat-tails for non-Pakistani desi men to ride here …

383 thoughts on “Once you go Pak …

  1. post-script. My skin is the beautiful color of Milk Duds, And poetry is in my blood. got it?

    That’s right, when I break out those Annamaya keerthanas, Boys forget all about the kheer, they just want some gaana.

  2. portmanteau’s peans to rahul make me blush, for to me she is like an akka. she leaves me confused when she is such a lush, oh who am i kidding, i am also a ladki bohut pakka

    dear girl, listen and respeck your akka my advice is on the money, it’s so pukka the only reason my rhymes rawr risque is cuz appa-man is into public display do what your diwana likes, ur no lallu* observe how my man is tied to my pallu**

    *fool (hindi slang) **free end of a sari (hindi)

  3. Us lemurs, We don’t measure up to the Scyths, We have shorter femurs, and the IT revolution? It’s just a myth.

  4. dear girl, listen and respeck your akka my advice is on the money, it’s so pukka the only reason my rhymes rawr risque is cuz appa-man is into public display do what your diwana likes, ur no lallu* observe how my man is tied to my pallu** *fool (hindi slang) **free end of a sari (hindi)

    So whenever he lifts up your sari for a public thappal, no passers-by ever come at you with a chappal?

  5. That should be,

    If you go for someone from Chennai, you should know how to cook some puliyodharai.

    Also,

    If your man aims to be a hajji, pack him lots of bajjis.

  6. So whenever he lifts up your sari for a public thappal, no passers-by ever come at you with a chappal?

    our dalliances are dangerous but also discreet, cuz we be smooth like silk, slick on da street. consenting adults, taking maha-calculated risks them frisks are ultra-raw, and yet very brisk.

    😛 outta here, like last year.

  7. our dalliances are dangerous but also discreet, cuz we be smooth like silk, slick on da street. consenting adults, taking maha-calculated risks them frisks are ultra-raw, and yet very brisk.

    Brisk, huh? Rahul, I think you just got dissed, son!

  8. Once you go for someone from Madras, you’ll no longer have to deal with Scythians and their bakwaas.

  9. There was this boy from Kerala, I thought we were just yaars, But as I found out at this one mela, It had blossomed into pyaar.

  10. My best dost, she is more patient than most.

    //

    To the shop I had to take my computer, Because it got crapped on by a kabutar.

  11. First love. To feel that jadoo, you just need to gift her with some laddoos. (And wear a glove.)

  12. Nala is so anti-Scythian Makes me wonder what world she’s been livin’ in Lemuria is all she goes on about How about giving Scythia a shout-out? The food from the South is tasty no doubt But the food from the North will make you strong and stout As for that boy from Kerala that gunda It makes sense he likes her, he’s her haan da munda*

    *haan da munda means boy of your own age group.

  13. Amitabh, I don’t know where you got that impression, I try to be equal opportunity, If you’re mad it’ll send me into a depression.

    Sure he may be a gunda, But for sake of equity, Let’s say that I’m a munda.

  14. Uh, and by ‘munda’ I mean in the Telugu sense, not the Punjabi sense.

    People often don’t go to the optometrist enough, but he ain’t that dense!

  15. What an ass, he knocked out my daat, he always harassed, and then he had the gall to ask for maaf!

  16. Ta-ka-di-mi, Ta-ka-ta-ki-tha, plays the talam, But she dances so you ha ha ha, I want her to get carried away by Gollum.

  17. 309 · nala said

    Brisk, huh? Rahul, I think you just got dissed, son!

    oh no, that rahul aims like a stealth-bomber his timing is flawless, not short, not quick just right, and not even minute or second longer nala, don’t diss unseen techniques of leagues big time teaches, but first let practice get you stronger.

  18. oh no, that rahul aims like a stealth-bomber his timing is flawless, not short, not quick just right, and not even minute or second longer nala, don’t diss unseen techniques of leagues big time teaches, but first let practice get you stronger.

    sounds odd, but what do I know? i thought iowa would go to chris dodd*.

    you said he was wrapped around your pallu, but it sounds like he’s got you wrapped around his one baazoo.

  19. She’s a fan of Carnatic, What she doesn’t know is, He’s symptomatic!

    That’s right, one taste of lemurian, pregnancy on your body will be a blight, and they’ll have to perform a caesarian.

  20. 322 · nala said

    you said he was wrapped around your pallu, but it sounds like he’s got you wrapped around his one baazoo.

    i speak the truth, no sly lies i utter radha is i to that sweet thief of butter some power sepiadestiny has set a-flutter a deal that no mere mortal could tear asunder

  21. Nala, why do you waste so much of your time writing such an insane number of those silly rhymes

  22. i speak the truth, no sly lies i utter radha is i to that sweet thief of butter some power sepiadestiny has set a-flutter a deal that no mere mortal could tear asunder

    and if to your radha i were to become the gopika? would you share, or would you say, to hell with you, you deepika!

    though i fear that i could never fully ensnare, unless arjuna’s chariot was led by a drugg’ed mare.

  23. Nala, why do you waste so much of your time writing such an insane number of those silly rhymes

    i see someone is in a bad humor, as for why i waste time, well, winter break relaxation, it’s like a tumor.

  24. xanthippe was the wife of socrates, did you know she was witty? perhaps you should be more like her and speak in ditties, maybe then you won’t end up in hades.

  25. Once you go desi, you gonna go crazy.

    Once you go Indian, you’ll permanently smell like tiffin.

  26. There was a man from Baroda, he went on a trip to the south, He couldn’t get enough vadas, He would stuff them into his mouth.

  27. There was a man who was a big fan of idli, He went by the name Ned Flanders. When presented with idlis, Okely-dokely-idli-diddly! He would banter.

  28. Jeez, nala, maybe you should post once in a while, it would give people a chance to get to know you.

  29. i see someone is in a bad humor, as for why i waste time, well, winter break relaxation, it’s like a tumor.

    nala seems shiftless and bored to tears, taking solace in her keyboard after wearing out her rabbit ears.

  30. Brisk, huh? Rahul, I think you just got dissed, son!
    oh no, that rahul aims like a stealth-bomber his timing is flawless, not short, not quick just right, and not even minute or second longer nala, don’t diss unseen techniques of leagues big time teaches, but first let practice get you stronger.

    nala, port’s no dilettante and i’m no h-muff we both got the goods, we hot stuff, i’m focused, know where my ship must dock the lighthouse points to port, and we get off the rocks.

  31. Once you go Scythian, keep handy the Lithium. (I realize this doesn’t exactly rhyme, but I don’t care right now.)

  32. 333 · nala said

    If you go for the Sai freak, on a picture of Sai Baba you should never take a leak.

    If that happens, urine big trouble.

  33. That video is funny. To be fair, once you go desi, as compared to black, white or whatever, then what happens?

    Girls…. any comments?

    Do the desi men have any speciality?