Once you go Pak …

What is it about Princesses and Pakistanis? First Jemima Khan converted to Islam to marry Imran Khan. Then there was a whole drama between Princess Diana and her one true love, “Mr. Wonderful”, Dr. Hasnat Khan. Diana was reportedly considering conversion and possibly even a life in Pakistan. And now, the ever reliable Sun reports that Britney Spears is also considering converting to Islam and moving to Pakistan to be with her current boyfriend, paparazzi Adnan Ghalib.

But let’s back up to the Diana story first, because it’s the most interesting. According to her butler, Diana begged Khan to marry her:

“This was her soul mate,” he said. “This was the man she loved more than any other. It was a very deep and spiritual relationship.” Khan would often visit Diana and her boys at Kensington Palace, Burrell added, because the Princess was “adamant” that William and Harry get to know and grow to like Khan.

Burrell revealed that he and Diana discussed giving Khan his own quarters at the Palace and that the Princess was so serious about marrying Khan she asked Burrell to find out if it was possible for them to have a private wedding.[Link]

She even met his family in Pakistan and kept in touch with his mother:

[Said Khan’s mother] “She was so nice, so friendly and down to earth. She met my mother, Hasnat’s grandmother, my nephews and nieces, all the family.” [Link]

Meanwhile she stopped speaking to her own mother because of her mother’s opposition to the relationship:

“She called the Princess a whore and said she was messing around with eff-ing Muslims and she was disgraceful and said some very nasty things.” It was after that conversation, he said, that Diana decided she didn’t want to speak to her mother ever again. [Link]

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p>Dodi then, was just a rebound, a way to get Hasnat jealous after he said that cultural differences would make it impossible to marry. This explains why the relationship was so public, and why she courted the paparazzi whose attention would spiral out of control:

She started dating Dodi in part, said Burrell, to make Khan jealous. …”She knew very well what she was doing.” All those tabloid photos of Dodi and Di cavorting on his yacht? The Princess counted on the cameras watching them… [Link]

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p>Britney Spears seems intent on proving the adage that history repeats itself, first as tragedy then as farce:

Meanwhile the fallen singer has been telling pals how much she’s in love with Ghalib, 35 and that she plans to marry him and convert to his faith, Islam. In her crazier moments she’s even been threatening to fake her own death to start a new life with him in Pakistan.

The News Of The World also revealed that Ghalib’s respectable Sunni Muslim family in Birmingham are so horrified by his antics they have disowned him. One family member told the paper: “His parents … are devastated. This week his dad gave him an ultimatum, ‘Give up Britney, or you are dead to me,’ which Adnan ignored…” [Link]

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Meanwhile Pakistani women are wondering what they need to do to get a bit of attention:

“Look at the way they treat our women. I think they are so chauvinistic and full of themselves. I wonder what these women find attractive in them? May be they should launch their charm offensive on Pakistani women. That’s something we women will never complaint against,” Haq chuckled. [Link]

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p>And Rasika is warning other desi men not to get too (ahem) cocky:



Move along guys, there’s no coat-tails for non-Pakistani desi men to ride here …

383 thoughts on “Once you go Pak …

  1. I just googled Ghalib. Apparently he is Afghani not Pakistani and he is already married. They both seem like messed up losers.

  2. Girls like me are besharam, we have no qualms about qualifying that the masala, in addition to being spicy, is quite garam.

    Nala, I’m tempted to meet my sala.

    Amitabh, he knows his punjabi, he could never be a sharabi, he knows the wicked bhangra and mess with him you’ll end up langra.

    Ok, I’m done too.

  3. Clueless,

    Is it just muslims in general and Islam with whom you have such a big problem? Tell me true…

    As many people here can tell you I have bashed my own punjabi jatt community as much as anybody. I just fed up with backward brown people who live in the west but keep there backward ways.

    Like I’ve said many times before the west is best.

    As for me hating muslims that is wrong. My hero is former WWF Champ the Iron Sheik http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Iron+Sheik&search=Search I watch videos of this guy on youtube every day, and I wish more muslims would look up to this guy.

  4. Untie your nala and get you some nala. I must confess, my loneliness! It’s killing me… Um, I mean, I don’t get this? “Nala” is drawstring in Punjabi. You know, that thing that holds your sutthan up?

    Wow, that’s saucy, are you also bossy? And you do realize, I’m not yet of legal drinking age, perhaps you will think harder next time, before advocating that I be looked at with the male gaze.

    p.s. I’m totally just kidding, I don’t have any objections to fiddling.

  5. Like I’ve said many times before the west is best.

    Clueless loves the West, it’s India’s culture that he detests, but if he was more discerning, and willing to keep learning, he’d give things a little test, then throw out the bad but keep the rest. And this was not said in jest.

  6. Camille, Bess, Nina, and Jane, its all the same…Why am I the only one with a brown girls name?

  7. This is starting to feel like a roll-call in the Yankee Stadium bleachers.

    If you don’t mind your p’s and q’s…Anna, she’ll go banana’s and you’ll end up 6 feet under the susquehanna.

  8. 131 · nala said

    I went out with a Muslim boy in high school, for crying out loud

    if you wanna go nala…better pray to allah.

  9. if you wanna go nala…better pray to allah.

    And if you wanna go Manju? What shall the believer choose?

  10. Do you gorge on too much Lindt, and as a result, are having trouble being a successful bint? Fear not, you just gotta find yourself a man from the pind, he’ll love you like the whooshing of the wind.

  11. And by ‘it’ I don’t mean the ball, but to clarify what I mean I don’t quite have the gall…

  12. The Iron Sheik and the Hacksaw found themselves in jail, but even with their being such huge metallic tools, they were stuck in there, to no avail.

  13. So the Sheik and the Hacksaw were getting high, what fools, they didn’t realize that the police were nigh.

  14. I watch videos of this guy on youtube every day, and I wish more muslims would look up to this guy.

    My sources tell me he is six feet tall, my guess is that most of them have no option but to look up to this man, what with him being such a great role model for kids and all.

  15. 144 · bess said

    A skater and a poet. I like. A trick question for ya’ JJ: When you say “jawanee” you mean love, not youth right? Hint: say yes.

    harbeer, what a through gent; girl, don’t give him up for lent.

  16. My sources tell me he is six feet tall, my guess is that most of them have no option but to look up to this man, what with him being such a great role model for kids and all. This guy is my role model and he has done more then any other muslim in the past year to give people a postive image of muslims thanks to help from Howard Stern http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jR7_WiHI1g

    Why couldn’t this guy be a desi instead of a persian. so somebody could done a post on the rebirth of his career.

  17. This guy is my role model and he has done more then any other muslim in the past year to give people a postive image of muslims thanks to help from Howard Stern

    I prefer men who box, and of course it doesn’t hurt if he’s a fox. I just hope he has some fashion sense, and doesn’t wear those godawful crocs. And just so you know, he does quite a bit for his people and their pops.

  18. I prefer men who box

    Great taste Nala.

    #73but can he recite malcolm x’s autobio backwards?

    Mr. Khan is certainly no HMF, but I’ve decided to stop punching above my weight

  19. Once you go Pravin, you will end up in a ravine.

    That will bring in the groupies of those famous killers.

  20. once you go Camille, you’ll feel head over heel.

    once you go J.J. you’ll say Nay! Nay! to all the other boys.

  21. wha?? Is everyone still asleep? Am I the only geek still rhyming to keep up with all the poet freaks? jeez!

  22. Will the desi Muslim boy who dumped Clueless Show up on this website and please confess? For you’ve made all other Muslims the target of her wrath, And that’s at least a billion innocents, if you do the math.

  23. Once you go Telugu, you might get stuck in the loo. (A reference to the ultra spicy cuisine of Andhra. Most non Telugu people will find Andhra food to be the most spicy hot food in India ever. Also, so many Telugu words end in lu or loo.)

    Once you go Tamil, you’ll have a thrill (yeah, I realize this is the most pathetic entry.)

    Once you go Kannada, the need for anyone else will be nada.

  24. His batting be so classy, his strokes perfectly right; All his props and skillz precipitate rapturous delight. So glad to have the punster Rahul at my crease; May his stock of e-thongs exponentially increase.

  25. That’s because there’s much better things than words to put between “Punjabi” and “gulabi.” Like sharabi.

    Too easy 😉

    Untie your nala and get you some nala.

    nala, in Punjabi “nala” is a string (i.e. the thing strung through your salwar to keep them from dropping down). That’s a limited translation, though, since it has other meanings, also. Damn my toddler-Punjabi!

    Girls like me are besharam, we have no qualms about qualifying that the masala, in addition to being spicy, is quite garam.

    Classic — this is by far my favorite. 🙂

    I can’t believe I minored in poetry and cannot rhyme for crap. Shameful.

  26. nala- Most dudes objectify women from other races.The women from other races usually don’t mind. I said what I said because Britney Spears is a famous white girl potentially going out with a desi dude could be major factor for desi dudes seriously getting some play. It could make it a trend to date desi dudes, just like right now it’s a trend to holla at Indian chicks, mo matter how ashy or how thick their sideburns are.

    And beleive most desi dudes have no game whatsoever. That’s why I said what I said. This could be a big boost to their self-image. There needs to be a desi Hitch.

  27. Once you go ANNA John, you get yo’ sizzle on!

    Once you go Manju, he’ll just taunt you too. Yaar!

    Once you go Nala, with the others you won’t botha’

  28. Having some charm Will do you no harm, Mr. Grumpy HuruMpF. When you squeal “Just keepin’ it real” You get everyone in a huff!