Once you go Pak …

What is it about Princesses and Pakistanis? First Jemima Khan converted to Islam to marry Imran Khan. Then there was a whole drama between Princess Diana and her one true love, “Mr. Wonderful”, Dr. Hasnat Khan. Diana was reportedly considering conversion and possibly even a life in Pakistan. And now, the ever reliable Sun reports that Britney Spears is also considering converting to Islam and moving to Pakistan to be with her current boyfriend, paparazzi Adnan Ghalib.

But let’s back up to the Diana story first, because it’s the most interesting. According to her butler, Diana begged Khan to marry her:

“This was her soul mate,” he said. “This was the man she loved more than any other. It was a very deep and spiritual relationship.” Khan would often visit Diana and her boys at Kensington Palace, Burrell added, because the Princess was “adamant” that William and Harry get to know and grow to like Khan.

Burrell revealed that he and Diana discussed giving Khan his own quarters at the Palace and that the Princess was so serious about marrying Khan she asked Burrell to find out if it was possible for them to have a private wedding.[Link]

She even met his family in Pakistan and kept in touch with his mother:

[Said Khan’s mother] “She was so nice, so friendly and down to earth. She met my mother, Hasnat’s grandmother, my nephews and nieces, all the family.” [Link]

Meanwhile she stopped speaking to her own mother because of her mother’s opposition to the relationship:

“She called the Princess a whore and said she was messing around with eff-ing Muslims and she was disgraceful and said some very nasty things.” It was after that conversation, he said, that Diana decided she didn’t want to speak to her mother ever again. [Link]

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p>Dodi then, was just a rebound, a way to get Hasnat jealous after he said that cultural differences would make it impossible to marry. This explains why the relationship was so public, and why she courted the paparazzi whose attention would spiral out of control:

She started dating Dodi in part, said Burrell, to make Khan jealous. …”She knew very well what she was doing.” All those tabloid photos of Dodi and Di cavorting on his yacht? The Princess counted on the cameras watching them… [Link]

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p>Britney Spears seems intent on proving the adage that history repeats itself, first as tragedy then as farce:

Meanwhile the fallen singer has been telling pals how much she’s in love with Ghalib, 35 and that she plans to marry him and convert to his faith, Islam. In her crazier moments she’s even been threatening to fake her own death to start a new life with him in Pakistan.

The News Of The World also revealed that Ghalib’s respectable Sunni Muslim family in Birmingham are so horrified by his antics they have disowned him. One family member told the paper: “His parents … are devastated. This week his dad gave him an ultimatum, ‘Give up Britney, or you are dead to me,’ which Adnan ignored…” [Link]

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Meanwhile Pakistani women are wondering what they need to do to get a bit of attention:

“Look at the way they treat our women. I think they are so chauvinistic and full of themselves. I wonder what these women find attractive in them? May be they should launch their charm offensive on Pakistani women. That’s something we women will never complaint against,” Haq chuckled. [Link]

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p>And Rasika is warning other desi men not to get too (ahem) cocky:



Move along guys, there’s no coat-tails for non-Pakistani desi men to ride here …

383 thoughts on “Once you go Pak …

  1. 139 · Ennis said

    Can we bring discussion back to funny rhymes and playboys?

    You just want us to rhyme something with Ennis, like “Once you go Ennis you won’t need no other…”

    Once you go Harbeer all’s left is to go queer. Uh! I’m outta here.

  2. That’s because there’s much better things than words to put between “Punjabi” and “gulabi.” Like sharabi.

    The man who drinks too much sharabi, sees with fuzzy eyesight the lonely kuri.

  3. if you go nala, you’ll want to holler. ’cause she’s off the chain!

    Sure thing, Ennis, as long as you promise not to give us advice like Cary Tennis.
    it’s a fact, just like how the animal with the largest phallus proportional to its body is the barnacle

    ha! ha! ha!

  4. If you go for a Mumbaikar, he’ll use his mob connections to take care of those annoying bikers.

  5. “Going out with a Bengali, is like having your very own Svengali,” or at least that’s what my (non-Bengali) wife says.

  6. Harbeer, are you sure you’re not seeing these kuriyen? They’ll be sure to make you give up that sharabi and turn you into a man of, er, steadfast mien.

  7. When you go Shaad it’s like lovin’ a cad, cause the man’s got it bad for Gustav (Klimt that is). It’s all on Shaad’s pad.

    p.s. I love me some Klimt too.

    When you go bess, she’ll confess at your behest that you’re the best there is, yeah.

    outta here!

  8. One thing I like about Camille, she’s so smart and has her own appeal, makes you want to meet her for real!

  9. Rhyming is Nala’s game, I think she’s doing it for the fame, since she’s been here things haven’t been the same, and if she disagrees with my comments somehow I’M to blame?

  10. Once you go Tamizh, you’ll hump like a camezh.

    Once you go Sikh you’ll go like a freak

    Once you go Vedic you won’t long for A dick

    Once you go Pasty-American you’ll get tired of this running gag

  11. Don’t mess with a punjabi, they’ll hit you with a thali.

    A skater and a poet. I like. A trick question for ya’ JJ: When you say “jawanee” you mean love, not youth right? Hint: say yes.

    YES!

  12. Once you go Amitabh, you’ll feel you’ve met a real nawab, he can really handle his sharaab, he tends to do a good job, he always has the right jawaab, sometimes he does things which are quite kharaab, he often enjoys a kawaab, and at night he looks forward to sleeping so he can have a khwab.

  13. Untie your nala and get you some nala.

    I must confess, my loneliness! It’s killing me… Um, I mean, I don’t get this?

    Also, I just realized that ‘sharaab’ is the noun and ‘sharabi’ is the adjective, damn, now I feel bad about lecturing Manju with my spelling/grammar invective.

    Rhyming is Nala’s game, I think she’s doing it for the fame, since she’s been here things haven’t been the same, and if she disagrees with my comments somehow I’M to blame?

    Man, now I’ve been complimented, it’s making me nervous about measuring up, I may now have problems with getting those rhymes up.

    I don’t blame you for anything Amitabh, except for your name, because when I picture you I see this man in my inner ankh, and it’s getting quite un-tame.

  14. Camille is so bright it hurts, it’s with her I’d like to flirt, and if Rahul thinks that’s too suggestive, he should go and have a digestive.

  15. I think it kind of sad that people must think that since Ms.Spears is with this guy that means that she wants all desi guys. Kind of sad if you think about it.

    For one thing if anybody is paying attention. Britney has gone off the deep end and has some serious mental issues. It would not surprise if this is another case of vulnerable women being targted by muslim man. I have lost count on many times I have heard story have how after a non-muslim women marry a muslim man, the man changes. He no longer the romantic man who was before marriage, but now controling abusive man who beats her alot, and alot of any contact with her family or non-muslim friends.

    I think many have seen the movie Not Without my Daughter and countless news story about stupid western women who have fallen in the same mess.

  16. Clueless Clueless Clueless why do you want to make a big mess? You’ll ruin this thread, if Ennis closes it it’s dead.

  17. For one thing if anybody is paying attention. Britney has gone off the deep end and has some serious mental issues. It would not surprise if this is another case of vulnerable women being targted by muslim man. I have lost count on many times I have heard story have how after a non-muslim women marry a muslim man, the man changes. He no longer the romantic man who was before marriage, but now controling abusive man who beats her alot, and alot of any contact with her family or non-muslim friends.

    clueless, that’s a classic story of how abusive relationships occur, and one that cuts across race and religion.

    Though I agree it’s stupid to be celebrating some brown guy ‘banging’ Britney. I mean, if you aren’t getting laid, what difference does it make?

  18. So will we be making a post about how Parminder Nagra dates no-name white boys instead of desi guys. Or the many desi women in the west who do the same thing.

    For some reason I don’t think a bunch white boys could really give a damn that some white boy is dating Parminder Nagra. Yet when any desi guy is seen with a white girl. It like means the girl must be into all desi guys. Give me a break. By doing this we are only say the whites are superior. That is a major slap in the face of our desi sisters.

    If Brittney was dating this guy in 2000 when she was on the top of the world that would be a story, but when she a mental case I would not get too exicted.

  19. Jangali is the man, he’s a legal firebrand, defends anyone who’s back’s against the wall, even the brothers Dhaliwal. He always keeps it civil, I wish I could introduce him to a younger Cybill (Shepherd, that it).

    OK, I’m done.

  20. Nala, I hear your a spicy masala.

    Girls like me are besharam, we have no qualms about qualifying that the masala, in addition to being spicy, is quite garam.

  21. Don’t leer at Harbeer because he’s very sincere and have no fear, ladies, he’s no queer.

  22. Clueless Clueless Clueless why do you want to make a big mess? You’ll ruin this thread, if Ennis closes it it’s dead.

    Because this is a serious issue that everyone else things is a joke. Hates crimes against brown/south asian are going to only go up in Europe.

    I wonder what the stats are in Europe for rapes of white women by muslim men and Muslim women by white men in Europe. For some reason its very one sided. Could you image if our desi sister were being treated like this we would be very upset.

    I can see a headline a few weeks from now. Middle age Sikh man beaten to death by white mob. A angry white mob lead by a father who 12 year old daughter was raped gang of Pakistani men. The sikh man who was at the wrong place at the time was the 1st brown person that they saw and was beaten to death by mob looking for blood.

    The actions of these backward muslims put all brown people in danger.

    Let not forget the riots in Australia a couple of years had alot to do with this issue.

    It just amazes that issue has never been covered before on Sepia Mutiny when this is a very serious issues.

  23. Yeah I know that besharam and garam don’t really rhyme, but I’m a lemurian, at least I know how to make pickles out of lime.

  24. 182 · nala said

    Untie your nala and get you some nala. I must confess, my loneliness! It’s killing me… Um, I mean, I don’t get this?

    “Nala” is drawstring in Punjabi. You know, that thing that holds your sutthan up?

  25. Clueless, sometimes you’re right, you’re not wrong all the time…but for this thread at least can’t you make it rhyme??

    How did I get so carried away with this?

  26. Camille is so bright it hurts, it’s with her I’d like to flirt, and if Rahul thinks that’s too suggestive, he should go and have a digestive.
    OK, I’m done.

    Amitabh, don’t stop dishing out your ditties, I just settled in with my McVities.