Two Things I Think We Can All Agree On

1) Padma Lakshmi may not be the sharpest tool in the shed:

“Padma Lakshmi,” she hoped, might one day be on as many food labels as “Paul Newman”—“a big hero.” Soon there would be Padma jewelry and fashion, “like Jennifer Lopez,” she said, and television and cookware, “like Martha Stewart.” In September, she sealed a major deal with IMG, the sports-and-entertainment marketing giant. “She has a global image and no end of ideas,” said John Steele, a senior V.P., “so we have multiple agreements.” “Like,” Padma said, “Tiger Woods.” How amazing was it that she, the daughter of a single mother who fled India to escape the stigma of divorce, was poised to become the first Indian woman with an American brand—perhaps the first to self-brand. “I’m as American as anyone else,” she has said. (link)

Ah yes, comparing yourself to Martha Stewart, Jennifer Lopez, and Tiger Woods in a single paragraph. Why not also go for P Diddy, to round out your own private Macy’s commercial of utter delusion? (Read on for more wince-worthy quotes…)

2) But she knows how to work the hair:

padma-lakshmi-vanity-fair.jpg

(Thanks for the tip, KXB. I know you read Vanity Fair for the articles, too.)

183 thoughts on “Two Things I Think We Can All Agree On

  1. FWIW – I did not Google Padma Lakshmi. I went to the Vanity Fair website, and this is the first thing that is there. I swear!

  2. i’ll have to disagree. she may be overly ambitious (not a crime in america), but i don’t find her dumb at all. at least she seems to know what she wants. the main thing i found wince-worthy was the swearing. if she was a south asian male aspiring to be like the big names in whatever their field is, would they be accused of being deluded?

  3. Kurma,

    Is this necessary? please give people more credit, it makes me really uncomfortable how people handle differing views on internet forums. I think it somehow unleashes our inner desire to throw caution to the wind and be nasty to people.

  4. Joke is on me then, my apologies 🙂 Need some training in reading internet humor, or may be it is my unfunny desi bone;)

  5. Kurma – get a life. Pseudo religionists/ pseudo nationalists really seem to be trying hard to find fire where there isn’t even smoke.

  6. “Somehow I had a feeling my title was a bit presumptuous.”

    not to mention overly ambitious as well:) it’s hard to find even one thing around here on which people can agree (not that they necessarily should), much less two things:)

  7. The only thing about Padma that I don’t appreciate about her is that she always mentions that she’s a Tamil Brahmin, and not just a Tamil. Kind of as if she’s ashamed of just being a Tamil, without the hyphen. This kind of reminds me of this one Indian girl from India. But she’d always refer to her place of origins as Bombay, and not just India. Her tone of voice was that “there is India, and then there is Bombay”.

  8. do tamil brahmins eat meat? she seems to have no issue eating all sorts of things on top chef.

  9. Boston Mahesh,

    I’m not a Tamil Brahmin myself, but if I hear anyone describing themselves as one, I think it’s just them giving you a extra tit bit about themselves. I don’t read too much into it. Kinda like how some folks say they are Irish-Catholic, it instantly gives you an idea of what their traditional family background is.

    Regarding people saying they are from Bombay, and some undercurrent of ‘superiority’, it’s funny another friend of mine mentioned it sometime back. I guess again I never read that much into it. I was born in Bombay but raised in Dubai and now live in the US. So these days when people ask me where I live, I say ‘California’, I hope I’m not giving out signals that CA is in some way better than the rest of the US, I am just saving time having to go through first nation then state and so on.

  10. Oh go easy on poor Padma. It ain’t easy running a cottage empire when you’re stoned all the time. You too might swear, put your feet up where they don’t belong and obsess on comparisons if you smoked like a chimney.

  11. Oops, sorry guys. I was indeed joking. I just like the illogic of the prefix pseudo. I mean, shouldn’t it be the secularists accusing anyone of being a pseudo secularist. Why would a self-proclaimed non-secularist care? Yet it’s always religious types who accuse of pseudo secularism, liberals who say that someone is not a true conservative, conservatives who accuse of pseudo-liberalism, non-vegetarians who accuse vegetarians of not being really vegetarian by consuming milk or eggs or whatever.

    Sorry for the disruption of what’s clearly going to be a smoothly flowing thread, what with a picture like that to start it off. Boston Mahesh has an interesting point. Yes, I’ve seen some 2/1.5 genners distancing themselves from Tamilness (because the only Tamil thing some Westerners know are the Tamil Tigers and no one wants to be associated with terrorists, right?). But in the case of Padma who doesn’t seem bothered by being exotic, perhaps she thinks it gets her extra points to be Brahman. Like “Eastern princess” is more desirable than “Eastern woman”…

    Or it could be just Western desis (like ABDs) are simply not sensitive to the implications of caste, not having seen the bitterness it can generate. I haven’t seen DBDs mention their caste casually (unless they really are the jerk type), whereas it can often come in innocent remarks from ABDs who think it simply encapsulates their heritage. Someone on a recent thread remarked about a similar lack of understanding on the part of newly arrived DBDs who might say “you people” to a black person in the US (referring to simply the set of people at that place), something than an American (in his/her right mind) would not do.

  12. Personally, I find it somewhat offensive that she is putting her feet on the table where she has food. Its right up there with putting feet on books etc. I know she is trying to make it erotic (sexuality + recipes= success?) but that was a little strange, especially with her going all “I’m a desi goddess”. I’ll admit it, I’ve used that bit before but feet + food= definite no-no.

  13. … if I hear anyone describing themselves as one …

    I think of them as uneducated. They are ignorant of history, societal oppresion and genetics.

    Kinda like how some folks say they are Irish-Catholic, it instantly gives you an idea of what their traditional family background is.

    Is it “kinda like how folks say he is a chamar, she is a bhangi” and you go eww … ?

  14. The only thing about Padma that I don’t appreciate about her is that she *always* mentions that she’s a Tamil Brahmin, and not just a Tamil.

    Maybe she’s trying to score some brownie (no pun intended ;)) points with the in-crowd.

  15. Someone on a recent thread remarked about a similar lack of understanding on the part of newly arrived DBDs who might say “you people” to a black person in the US (referring to simply the set of people at that place), something than an American (in his/her right mind) would not do.

    Very off putting until one realizes that in Hindi, for example, “op log”, or “you people” is used all the time to adress, well, people. A few, a group, or a crowd. But in English it sounds very rude.

  16. amardeep,

    i just found out that you were offended by my criticism on your last article. i apologize for that. but cmon man, you are a grown man, you should be able to take some criticism, even if you dont like it. Thats how successful people better themselves in life. so will you please stop banning me after every comment i make. i would appreciate that. hopefully, no hard feelings.

  17. amaun,

    Is it “kinda like how folks say he is a chamar, she is a bhangi” and you go eww … ?

    I don’t know what ‘chamar’ or ‘bhangi’ is. Also, I am referring to how people describe themselves, not others.

    Do you feel the ‘eww’ factor when people say they are Irish-Catholics too?

  18. If she wants to advertise herself as “tam-brahm” than she should behave in a brahminical fashion.

    Those following the hygenic-ethical/moral-dietary codes of the brahmin culture would not eat dead flesh nor put their feet on a table where food is placed for preparation or for eating. Walk the walk before you talk the talk. Actions speak louder than words.

  19. This is my problem with really hot women, they are way to confident!!

    She basically reads recipes and then tries to make the food on her tv show. The reason it does so well? Just a bunch of horny guys holding there gentials in there hands and waiting for her to lick the spoon.

    The power of a hot women conquers all, for ex. this is what probably happened to Salamn Rushdie when he first saw Padma.

    Fellow writer: So Salman tell us about your new book.

    Salman: Ahh yes, it is a book that ask’s how can nations go from near-peaceful ethnic and religious acceptance to violent conflict within a mere generation and …… Ohhh my God look at those boobies!! I mean look at them bounce like 2 over inflated baskeballs, I mean just look at that apple bottom of a ass on that women! God Damn I need a peace of that right now or I might just hurt someone. Someone call a doctor cause that women is suffering from onion booty!

    Fellow writer: What is onion booty?

    Salman: Booty that looks so good, it makes you wanna cry!!

    Fellow writer and Salman then high five each other.

  20. If she wants to advertise herself as “tam-brahm” than she should behave in a brahminical fashion.

    i agree. i hope someone puts a fatwa on her for this outrageous behavior.

  21. Do you feel the ‘eww’ factor when people say they are Irish-Catholics too?

    no, more like a yew factor.

  22. Stop yer whining about her feet on the table. What is anti Indian about that? She can come to my house and do that on my table with food any day of the week.

  23. Salman: Ahh yes, it is a book that ask’s how can nations go from near-peaceful ethnic and religious acceptance to violent conflict within a mere generation and …… Ohhh my God look at those boobies!! I mean look at them bounce like 2 over inflated baskeballs, I mean just look at that apple bottom of a ass on that women! God Damn I need a peace of that right now or I might just hurt someone. Someone call a doctor cause that women is suffering from onion booty!

    Funny, I’ve searched a few of her pics and see [edited by SM INTERN] She is tall and lanky, no curves. Her face is moderately attractive, but nothing unique about it.

    So how is she “hot”?

    Is it because she has relatively light skin for a Tamil as well as a long, straigt, aquiline nose?

    Other than that, I just can’t see anything uniquely hot or beautiful about her.

  24. I don’t know what ‘chamar’ or ‘bhangi’ is. Also, I am referring to how people describe themselves, not others.

    Why don’t you plug it into google and learn. Then you will know why people do not refer to themselves as bhangi. Then you may also learn that calling yourself a brahmin or, the infantile term “Tambram” is not just indicative of your vegetarianism but acceptance of racism.

  25. “Why don’t you plug it into google and learn. Then you will know why people do not refer to themselves as bhangi. Then you may also learn that calling yourself a brahmin or, the infantile term “Tambram” is not just indicative of your vegetarianism but acceptance of racism.”

    doesn’t that mean then that people shouldn’t refer to themselves as white, christian, european, black, muslim, hindu etc. etc. , because all those terms can be indicative of acceptance of something unpleasant associated with those categories?

  26. You guys are way, way off! She is attractive, bold and very sexy. I realize we are used to the demure desi girl, a la the Bollywood Crowd, but if she were not desi her behaviour would bother none of you. And as far as the idea that she is “light skinned,” etc. that is nonsense. Her entire schtick is being the exotic Desi princess. I’m always surpised that unlike bollywood, tollywood, or any of the other desi starlets, she’s not using skin lightening or filtering to make her look fair and lovely. Watch Top Chef, or any other interview. She looks Indian. She doesn’t try and look white.

    Don’t hate the player…hate the game!

  27. doesn’t that mean then that people shouldn’t refer to themselves as white, christian, european, black, muslim, hindu etc. etc. , because all those terms can be indicative of acceptance of something unpleasant associated with those categories?

    or vegetarian.

  28. guys, about PL’s feet on the table or anything else – there should be an unsaid rule, that almost anything you do is acceptable if you can make it look hot.

    and i may be in minority here, but most of my friends seem to agree with me on the issue of PL being hot or not. now the causality (of what makes her hot), I am not too sure about, but she has got oomph all over! and she is not light skinned for heaven sake! This fair-n-lovely police is just working overtime.

    Great photo selection Amardeep! We can all agree to point 2 hopefully. 🙂

  29. “Then you may also learn that calling yourself a brahmin or, the infantile term “Tambram” is not just indicative of your vegetarianism but acceptance of racism.”

    Really? I don’t think this is the case. I’ve lived in India. I know the history of the caste system. I identify myself as Kannada and Indian before anything else. However, when someone asks me why I’m vegetarian I say its because I’m brahmin. Its not done in implicit acceptance of racism. I say it because its the truth.

  30. “or vegetarian.”

    :). maybe humans beings will one day just call themselves what they really are – big nothings (and even that is probably investing too much importance in ourselves, because even nothingness has value). then we can all be happy and equal in our “nothingness.” but i’m sure some nothings will think they’re better than other nothings.

  31. call her a twit, call her a bore, but she’s got some core. i’ve seen multiple glam shots with that scar on her arm* clearly visible. with the media proclivity to airbrush every bump and blemish from a shot, i’m sure this is by choice. It shows karatker.

    *ive met two people with scars like that. one had sliced the wrist so that the tendon sprang all the way up the arm . it basically left the arm like a limp noodle. the tendon had to be manually pulled all the way down. the other had a weak bone and smashed it. took a few months of surgery and therapy for person to even have the ability to hold something in the hand. this woman’s seen some pain methinks.

  32. Why don’t you plug it into google and learn. Then you will know why people do not refer to themselves as bhangi. Then you may also learn that calling yourself a brahmin or, the infantile term “Tambram” is not just indicative of your vegetarianism but acceptance of racism.

    My solar-powered PC-police alarm just went off.

  33. Some foreign tourists to India who are strict vegetarians will only eat in “Vaishnav Dhabas” or the homes or “hotels” (restaurants) of brahmins (if brahmins in the regions they are travelling in are known for being veg) because they are guaranteed to get vegetarians fare.

    By saying Tam Brahm certain dietary “standards” are indicated which may act as a soothing balm on the ears of vegetarians across the globe.

    Vegetarians generally do not want to eat in places where flesh has been cooked. Are you suggesting that they do in order to be PC and not offend meat-eaters?

  34. My solar-powered PC-police alarm just went off.

    You should switch over to the smug-powered model. It’s far more reliable and you can charge it even while the sky is overcast.

    Ah yes, comparing yourself to Martha Stewart, Jennifer Lopez, and Tiger Woods in a single paragraph. Why not also go for P Diddy, to round out your own private Macy’s commercial of utter delusion? (Read on for more wince-worthy quotes…)

    She’s shooting for the bedazzling stars.

  35. She’s shooting for the bedazzling stars.

    from the article: Padma Lakshmi also enjoys the company of her stepson. “We have violent pillow fights. My husband gets really mad. He’d be like, ‘Don’t wind him up before bed, don’t shake him like that’. It’s fun.”

    will she become the female woody allen?

  36. And as far as the idea that she is “light skinned,” etc. that is nonsense. Her entire schtick is being the exotic Desi princess. I’m always surpised that unlike bollywood, tollywood, or any of the other desi starlets, she’s not using skin lightening or filtering to make her look fair and lovely. Watch Top Chef, or any other interview. She looks Indian. She doesn’t try and look white.

    No one said that she was trying to be white, they said that she is light-skinned. Which, for a south Indian, she is, (I won’t speak for north Indians lest someone come in and lecture me about how northies are sooo much lighter and aryan than padma lakshmi!), but compared to white people, no. Which is why she can pull of the exotic shtick in the American media, not in the Indian media. She’s light enough for south Indian movies, but probably not the right age & without the right look (coy/demure nature on top of a very womanly body).

    Her name always bothered me. Lakshmi’s not her family name, is it?

    And I’m going to convince myself that that picture is probably airbrushed (including her hair).

  37. Then you may also learn that calling yourself a brahmin or, the infantile term “Tambram” is not just indicative of your vegetarianism but acceptance of racism.

    Yes. Someone calling themselves X is tantamount to acceptance of Y. X = {White, Black, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Engineer, Journalist}. Y = {KKK, Nation of Islam, the Inquisition, the Jewish Defense League, every fatwa ever issued, Narendra Modi’s policies, Union Carbide’s practices at Bhopal, Jayson Blair’s actions at the NYTimes}.

    Where would SM be without Prema-copycats? I sometimes miss the original Prema. At least her writing was spectacularly random.

  38. will she become the female woody allen?

    Considering the age of the tot, it would probably be mechanically impossible. Then again, PL has a long time to develop into a fine old self-aggrandizing, filmic genius obsessed with visions of oriental incest.

  39. Which is why she can pull of the exotic shtick in the American media, not in the Indian media. She’s light enough for south Indian movies, but probably not the right age & without the right look (coy/demure nature on top of a very womanly body).

    In America dark hair and dark eyes = “exotic”. Go figure.

    Agreed that her body would not be considered “hot” (womanly) to most in India.

  40. Which is why she can pull of the exotic shtick in the American media, not in the Indian media.

    Padma Laksmi has acted in two Bollywood movies, Boom in 2003 is one of them.

    She first became a super model in Europe (Italy to be precise), and not in Amreeka

  41. My solar-powered PC-police alarm just went off.
    You should switch over to the smug-powered model. It’s far more reliable and you can charge it even while the sky is overcast.

    Does it come free with the Pious? 😉

    Damn, a perfect example of “poking fun at oneself” being lost on the internet. I should have added “biodegradable, not tested on animals etc.” to my original comment. 🙂

  42. What is so so khas abt tambrams ??!! Andhra, Karnataka, Maharashtra have equally strict vegetarian brahmins but I don’t see them flaunting their caste like the Tamils ??!! Why such arrogance among tambrams ??

    About Padma L. – She is tall, good looking and confident enough to flaunt her scar. But somehow it feels that she doesn’t know her onions from her potatoes. She looks a bit dumb. But hey – men always like dumb and beautiful.