Anticipating joy, a doting mother suffers a horrific tragedy, while on her way to a friend’s house to prepare for Eid:
Radiant, content and at the pinnacle of her life, Syeda Arif held her 2-month-old daughter in her arms as she plucked out a baby bag from the trunk of her Honda.
It was 3 p.m. Tuesday and she had just pulled up to a friend’s home along Sherman Way with her daughter, Ikra, and 5-year-old son, Ayman.
Less than a block away, strangers Armando Gamboa Ayon, a Pacoima teen, and Brian Gilbert Barnes, a porn star and self-proclaimed pot smoker, were taunting each other, zipping west through heavy afternoon traffic on Sherman Way in a show of bravado, pushing the speedometer to 90 mph, police said….
In a chain-reaction crash, Ayon plowed into a parked car, which then slammed into Arif’s, crumpling it like a tin can and crushing her and her son. Her daughter flew out of her hands. [LA Daily News]
I’ve read differing reports which suggest that this was either road rage or a street race. Whatever it was, it was wrong. Ayon stayed, the porn star fled the scene, both have been arrested (the latter turned himself in).
LAPD Detective Bill Butos said the motorists were “cutting each other off, they were jockeying for position. They were tapping on the brakes, one of the vehicles was tapping on the brakes, trying to cause the other vehicle to ram into the vehicle. They cannot point to the other individual and say, well, that person started it.” [KTLA]
Such a familiar story:
Arif had come to the United States seven years ago from Bangladesh and moved to a four-bedroom Northridge home with her husband, a computer engineer, to be closer to her friends.
Inside the home Wednesday of her best friend, Shahnaz “Zabeen” Kazi, an April 23 clipping of a local Bengali paper, the Ekush, showed Arif beaming into the camera, surrounded by a dozen women dressed in pink saris at her baby shower.
“It’s tragic, just so tragic. We are all so shocked,” said Kazi, tears streaming down her cheeks, later adding, “I hate the man who did this.” [LA Daily News]
Me too. That poignant visual, of smiling women dressed in pink saris at a baby shower, is haunting.
The young mother’s legs were crushed. She ended up losing one; they are trying to save the other. Initially, her son was placed on life support. Her baby daughter is in critical condition after surviving this:
Witnesses said the younger child was “launched into the air and slammed against a tree, “ police Capt. Ron Marbrey said. [WTOP]
Horrifying. This infant was torn from her mother’s arms thanks to the actions of two reckless, stupid criminals. The little boy, who suffered massive brain damage, died late last night:
…the two motorists who had been booked for attempted murder would face probable charges of second-degree murder. [KTLA]
More about one of the killers:
In a light-hearted interview a year ago on an Adult DVD Talk podcast, Barnes’ assessment of himself was almost prophetic for what happened this week.
“I smoke pot not for my health, but for other people’s,” he said. “I think I’m generally a violent person. Smoking pot really helps me curb my ways. It makes me very happy and mellow and very easy to get along with, instead of an irate (jerk).” [LA Daily News]
Then I wish you had been at home with your bong, instead of out using your car as a murder weapon. So senseless.
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Tip: MuraliMannered, via the News Tab
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Why did I publish this post?
Because we identify with those who are like us. This is a tragedy. Many of us (myself included) don’t pay attention when we’re driving, we speed, we let someone get the best of us and then we get caught up in some trifling Fast and Furious drama…once, when I was in my late teens, my Father, who never got a ticket in his 30 years of driving in this country asked me, “kunju, what if you hit someone?” I shrugged it off, but I can recall at least two instances when I wasn’t paying attention and I almost hurt someone.
If the emotion which I predict many of you will feel after reading this news story gets us to stop and be more careful, it’s worth a post. One beautiful young family, maimed and murdered…for what?
amen to the thoughtfulness while driving.
I used to be a speed-demon myself (albeit on long, windy, nearly always deserted country roads that simply scream out for opposite-lock, daring 4-wheel drifts and other assorted juvenile driving techniques)but it’s just a terrible way to leave the mortal plane and much worse when you hurt other people in the process.
I knew one person during college who killed a lady while driving drunk and he got off with involuntary vehicular manslaughter and a less-than-a-year jail sentence. Are there any legal eagles who can tell us what the likely penalty will be?
I read this on the news tab and wanted to cry… a parent losing a child is unbelievably tragic. I hope she & the baby daughter will be okay.
I think it’s notable how a lot of people get accustomed to speeding and generally driving crazy once they’ve gotten used to driving. When I was learning how to drive, even going 20 mph seemed crazy fast. But now even 60 mph seems too slow (on the highway).
Thank god, I was never into cars or street racing. However, my non-stalker friends are obsessed with street racing and what not.
It’s a sad event at any time, but just before Eid makes it even more poignant.
i wanted to post this story on tuesday but they hadn’t identified the people…although the tv reports showed an asian family…an update, the boy died on wed, and the mother will likely lose her leg… the baby is at ucla in intensive care, not doing well.
A friend died on the I-10 here recently, his little PT cruiser smooshed between two trucks rushing towards New Orleans. His autistic son, who was in the car with him at the time, made it but suffered major internal (not to mention emotional) injuries. Among the drunk drivers, women (yes, a lot more women than men here) on cellphones, illegals sans driving skills or insurance and the road-ragers, my husband is almost in an accident everyday thanks to his commute. Seriously, I pray for his safety on a twice-a-day basis.
Additionally, I know everyone on this forum is a great driver (hee), but pass on the word about carefully looking in both blind spots before changing lanes, please. Who’s giving out driver’s licenses these days?
I thought the same thing. 🙁
Technically, why is it both drivers’ fault? It was stupid for them to get into this kind of thing (which regretfully I occasionally did when I was much younger, fortunately without ever hitting anything or anyone), but only ONE car hit the victim’s car, so shouldn’t the driver of THAT car be the one to fry? No one forced either of them to get into this stupid race, it was wrong on both parts, but do both men share equal blame here?
if you contemplate the death penalty for acts that are not premeditated murder, I’m not sure how staunch your stance was in the first place
It wasn’t premeditated, but it wasn’t an accident, either. Lacking a conscience, awareness and common sense led these two guys to commit such a horrible act. Let’s not fry them, but instead revive the practise of public stoning to punish their sheer stupidity. Take back the community penalty, people! Don’t let others do your dirty work for you!
I used to drive piss drunk after partying but stopped when one of my buddies crashed his car into a tree (he was intoxicated).
anyway this is tragic and sad.
I totally think they do.
From what I understand, the porn star slammed on his breaks, trying to force a rear-ending (for lack of better phrasing)…the young guy swerved to avoid hitting him, struck a parked car and that’s what hit the family.
Yes i do believe both guys share the blame. They were both reckless in their action.
My brother got hit by a drunk driver, broke his shoulder still awaiting trial. A close friend has been in a coma for 2 years, hit by a drunk driver when she was on a bike. She is not likely to recover at all due to the extent of her brain damage, but her parents don’t want to switch off her machine.
Speeding/ drink driving is just not trendy or cool especially when you see the effect it has on friends and family. we all know this but eberyone thinks it’s never gonna be us ….
it actually isn’t that easy to determine the proximate and direct causes of the victims’ injuries. Because there is no video of the event, it’s pretty much impossible for a forensic examiner to look at the tire marks and determine that it was 100% the fault of one driver. Both of them were engaging in risky, irresponsible behavior and as they can’t determine who initiated this sad juvenile back-and-forth, both of the drivers will be charged and prosecuted. None of the outcomes, with respect to the victims, were possible without both the porn actor and the young guy participating.
And anna, the guy actually is a porn actor–i got the link to the story via Luke Ford’s anti-porn (conflicted, as he draws revenue from hosting porn company banners) blog and he’s pretty much the only authoritative and tenured commenter on that industry.
Brake testing – which, technically can result in you losing your license in most parts of the world.
Speed – Kills. Laugh at me, but I fell off my bike (the only time I was not wearing a helmet) lost consciousness and woke up to find my parents starring down at me in a hospital. That was the end of that. I have a nice looking scar to remind me everyday.
Learning a lesson the hard way is fine, as long as there are no tragedies like this one.
And for the record, I think cup holders should be banned and so should talking on the cellphone.
Yeah…they should both fry.
Driving is dangerous enough as it is.. I don’t know what makes people think they have the right to put everyone else around them in danger by doing such idiotic stuff. We all get rage or make stupid lane changes, but maybe until people suffer real consequences they just don’t get it. Please learn from others’ mistakes, such as this, before you make your own that you might not walk away from.
This especially struck me, because I’m a somewhat-apathetic member of my school’s SADD club, which is against, among other things, driving while intoxicated. I was supposed to be encouraging people to sign pledges not to drink and drive, and then take names of those who made the pledge. Today, after a boy took the pledge and I wrote down his name, he said the pledge didn’t mean anything to him because he drives drunk all the time. The comment kinda bothered me so I took his name off the list.
The comment really bothers me now. I always knew it was bad to drive drunk in the way that people know the sky is blue — I never really thought about it. I know the drivers responsible in this story weren’t drunk, but they were still incredibly reckless, and they could have taken just two seconds to make a better decision.
Oh and why the quotes and emphasis on on the “porn star”? He is a porn star… nothing unusual about that (welcome to Van Nuys). Just an average idiot who chose to show off his speed. His profession didn’t make hime do it, his rage and decisions did.
Just as a reminder in case you guys are not aware. During holiday season, in most cities, alcohol companies sponsor free cab rides. If I can find a national link, I will post it.
I know some people think that driving fast(fast and the furious style-devil may care driving) is a skill they shold be proud of. It’s not. Karthik was right Speed – Kills.
i meant to say driving fast and drunk…
My fifteen-year old just got her Learner’s Permit. When we arrived at the DMV to pick up her most prized possession, there were at least a dozen other beautifully coiffed fifteen-year olds lining up for the camera. These innocent kids eagerly await their induction into the real world.
A story like this is too close for comfort.
I don’t know, really…though unlike my choice of title, I anticipated being questioned about the quotation marks. 🙂 Yay, I’m not totally dense!
Maybe because once upon a time (geez…when I still lived in DAVIS), there was a surf/skate brand called “Porn Star” and I had a lot of their stuff (tees and stickers…picture a bumper sticker which says “Porn Star: I make home movies” vs. lingerie or whatever…it was very Urban Outfitter/Hot Topic crap). Of course that hardly answers your reasonable question, but thursdays are “Be extra irrational!”-day, so it’s to be expected. 😉
I am pro Death Penalty, and I feel the opposite. I would not want death penalty in such a case. I would want them to stay in jail for a long time though. One of my cousins got killed in an accident as a teen, and even then I did not wish for death penalty for the accused though I felt like personaly giving the driver a beatdown.
“Why did I publish this post? Because we identify with those who are like us.”
If a White person in America or a Hindu in India had made a similar disclaimer, we would have [rightfully] attacked that person ……rhetorically of course. Wonder how this sympathy for “those like us” philosophy works?
I don’t know that they would be attacked…it’s not racist or rare to “look for things in common”. I do feel equally horrified if something like this happens to a person of any background…but I don’t blog about that here, because this is a desi-focused blog. Speaking of– we do identify with those who are like us– that’s the entire point of this blog!
Almost all of us have driven recklessly, for no good reason…if we were saddened or outraged by someone like us coming to harm, then wouldn’t it be extra powerful to realize that we are guilty of doing what the perps did?
I’m just saying, be careful out there. Road rage, showing off, racing…it’s not worth it.
of course they share equal blame! it was just a random toss of the coin that caused one to be the proximate cause of the event. but i am appalled that you think they deserve to fry. but maybe such judgmental luxury is only afforded those who have led perfect blemishless lives never marred by the hand of poor impulse control.
Anna – do you guys edit the comments? i ask because…one of my [totally compatible with your rules]previous comment was expunged, and # 25 was edited. all i said was – either you are against or for the death penalty.
or, i need to cut down on the recreational only use of herbs.
A N N A’s post: “Why did I publish this post?
Because we identify with those who are like us.”
That’s such am “auntie-uncle” reaction to a tragedy, isn’t it? Obviously, this uncle can’t see anything wrong with the statement. And I wasn’t even thinking of the desi-centricity of SM, which is a contextual justification.
Sigh. Several comments were deleted from this thread after I changed the title of this post, thereby rendering said comments irrelevant, since they were all in reference to my absolutely shitty choice of titles.
Please email me if you have more questions, I did all that expunging because I wanted to keep things on topic. 🙂 Thank you (and recreational use of basil is always awesome, IMO).
public outrage at the string of deaths caused by street racing has led to a no tolerance policy out here wherein the vehicles exceeding 50kph over the speed limit will be impounded, their drivers’ licenses will be suspended and a fine of $2000+ levied. Yet! this thanksgiving weekend saw 270 such vehicles impounded and still more vehicular slaughter. our problem is different though. it seems to be a case of kids spoiled rotten, but the furor is growing and the sentences are expected to get stiffer.
HEY. I just got “Auntied” and I didn’t even realize it!! Floridian, that was seriously stealthy. 🙂
at what age did he get his driving licence?
I ask because in nearly a decade of driving I have gone over the speed limit twice! But then I got my licence well into my 20s.
Speed kills – dont agree. It is speeding at the wrong time. Try India – quite slow speeds with disproportionate number of accidents / deaths.
Cars are such beautiful weapons of destruction.
Any road engineers around ? I have never understood the logic of a 65 mph (100Km) speed limits on freeways. Is there logic or was it an arbitrary number.
Huh…I have no idea. I do know he was driving in India, before he came here, because I took my first driving lesson with his driving teacher in Kerala the last time we went back. Wish I could ask him. 🙂
well, different countries have different numbers. the limit, as i understand it, is some tradeoff made between risk of accidents as a function of speed, and a certain necessary efficiency on the roads. brutally said, it is a calculation of how many lives it is worth to get to your workplace a minute earlier.
agreed but who makes the tradeoff – I have never seen a debate that discusses the relative merits of driving at 65 or 70 mph. The debate is always speed kills and how we need lower speeds. At 0 mph there are no accidents. How many accidents are there at 100 mph? Does anyone know? Is the difference in country a function of the road condition. I know the autobahn is top notch.
In outback Australia (northern territory) there were no speed limits on the freeways till last year. Does not make a difference besides revenue raising. In the outback you’d be lucky to see five vehicles a day.
Thanks. There are so many things that one wants to ask an ‘expired’ parent – classic desi english.
This story was on America’s Most Wanted recently:
They’ve been looking him since 2001. At least the perpetrators in the above case were immediately caught.
he’s on the lam?!?! scary
‘Fry’ as in be punished…not the death penalty (in this case).
Your sarcastic attitude sucks. Is this your way of continuing the other disagreement we had about the blogger in India?
And I’d be curious to know if you’d be so non-judgemental and understanding if one of your loved ones was the victim (God forbid).
did your pride in your hypocrisy stick in my craw? Yes. did I find both your pejorative allusions to “western culture” and your gross mischaracterization of “indian tradition” galling? absolutely. and that almost certainly had something to do with the tone of my comment here, in response to your rousing endorsement of frying (which is used in the context of the death penalty), even while admitting that you did exactly the same kind of thing when you were younger and it was pure blind luck that meant you weren’t involved in such a disaster. i am sorry for having made that statement – not because i disagree with the ideas i expressed in it, but because it does nothing to advance the discussion.
oh, don’t be so retiring. if you’re really that curious, don’t invoke the “god forbid” at the end of the sentence when eagerly wishing harm upon one of my loved ones. in any case, i can score the cheap rhetorical point by saying “of course”, but having led the charmed life that allows me to be an armchair bleeding-heart liberal, all i can hope for is that i will continue to live by my principles of believing that punishment is for redemption, not retribution, even in the face of such a personal tragedy (“god forbid”).
Well expenditure is certainly a part of it, I am not sure about revenue. The Autobahn is very different from the Interstate here. The road is thicker, making it more durable and allows for higher speeds, lanes are wider and the driving rules are awesome and people stick by it (slow cars move to the right). Besides all this, they also need an amazing support system in case things go wrong. And contrary to what people might say, some sections (a lot of sections) of the autobahn actually have speed limits.
Ooh and the Autobahn was constructed to make driving fun, amazing visuals that do not tire you out. Here they decided to add cup holders and rear seat DVD players. So there is a big difference. There are also laws about the condition of your equipment, for example, you will need snow tires in winter (the law went into effect last winter) and no such laws exist here, making driving dangerous even with the current speed limits. Also, no hoardings, no signs for anything other than cities and rest areas. Signs for restaurants and shopping centers are normally towards the end of the off ramp, making concentrating easier.
Up until ’99 Montana had no speed limit (well kinda) and then they scraped that.
And about seeing 5 vehicles a day, the same holds good when you are traveling on the I-10 in western Texas. But I doubt that the roads here would support them.
You’re wrong.
Gross mischaracterization? I never claimed to represent Indian culture or be the spokesman for Indian tradition, nor is there one single monolithic culture or tradition in India; however what I described is reality for me and millions of others…it describes MY Indian tradition and that of huge swathes of northern India at the least. So don’t marginalise it like it doesn’t exist or I’m inventing something out of thin air. If you disagree with it that’s a different matter.
Amitabh,
To be fair, you don’t really know what the reality for millions of North Indians is. I am North Indian and none of your views resonate with me, I think at best any of us can talk authoratively about without factual data is ourselves and our immediate surroundings.
Brown, anymore I say on this would only derail this thread..I respectfully disagree with you however. I guess your version of northern India is different than mine. I don’t think small-town/village Punjab or Rajasthan or Uttar Pradesh would find any of the things I said in the other thread to be alien. Sorry for getting into all this again, Dravidian Lurker’s comments provoked me more than they should have. I’m out.
I did the Hindu Car-puja when I bought my (first) car. My little Ganesha, discretely viewable only by me in front of the speedometer, reminds me each time I get in that operating a vehicle endows me with a responsibility beyond myself, and that the road is a place of potentially serious consequences.
I’m appreciative of the ritualistic traditions that make us pause and remember things that we may not otherwise take time for.
Amitabh,
I appreciate your response on this thread, you are correct about derailing as this not the place.
I have often thought about this…when we as a society allow vehicular transport, highways, etc. what we are basically saying is that it’s ok that X number of people be killed in car crashes per year, since we as a society need/want this form of transport. The perceived necessity or desirability (or convenience) of car transport for us as a society, makes it ‘worth it’ to lose those X number of people every year.