The following video has already been viewed 3.2 million times on YouTube, so it hardly needs a link from me. But what the hell, it’s funny:
Penn Masala have a new CD out, and they were recently featured on NPR. But why do I have the feeling that they will now be best known — and beloved — by college students everywhere for “The Facebook Skit”?
well didn’t ‘Where’s the Party Yaar’ take place at UT-Austin?
(can’t believe I’ve admitted to watching that movie)
Let’s all nip it in the bud, shall we?
Sorry. Had to.
Nala, its Uncle Tom goddammit! This is your HMF moment…letting a thief give directions to your own bathroom.
does anybody feel that the esteemed HMF is rapidly approaching PG (pardesi gori) status?
what, like the warm, honest gaze of golden retrievers or the aesthetically pleasing curve of a halibut peeper?
nip privilege really raises its head when its nippy outside.
You know, Nala…when you first criticized JB, I thought you were being a bit harsh, a bit naive about the nature of guys. But now I know you have highly attuned creep radar. Respeck.
I also did ‘watch’ that movie. Although there were many Harold & Kumar inducements involved. And i think it was centered around a UT campus.
hahaha…. i’m curious, do you talk like this when you’re stoned?
And apparently it was the University of Houston.
No, like the glaze of financially challenged women inviting wealthy North American or Western European men into their arm$.
JB obviously doesn’t get that these sites are created and geared for a certain “type” of man. $$$$$
The Phillipino sites have no qualms in stating EXACTLY $$$ what they are looking for in a man, from a “particular” region of the world. JB would have more luck with those plastic Valley girls he complains about. They at least have their own money and don’t need a North American or Western European man. Note: South American or Eastern European men not apply.
I’m seriously becoming a fan of nala and Tara Watabe (oh hey Tara it’s FILIPINO not PHILLIPINO unless you’re referring to something else… how do i know? on account that I am one hehhe… seriously, i’m not into how much $$$ .. i’m more like “is he a troll??”)
depends on the company. if i’m with hippies, i’ll talk hippie. If i’m with pretentious, pretending-to-be-well-read people, I’ll utilize all the $5 words I know (not an inconsiderable amount.) And if i’m with Lankans, I’ll start up the oft-mocked sing-song cadence.
Why do we bother… no offense to you and other Filipinos. Just trying to make some points to JB, the personification of why some desi men can’t get any action here – desi or otherwise, and hence are forced to go back to India for an arranged marriage to a woman who has never met them and does not know of their inherent lameness. It’s guys like that who make it hard for the real good desi men out there.
hey Tara Watabe… none taken no worries 🙂
the personification of why some desi men can’t get any action here – desi or otherwise, and hence are forced to go back to India for an arranged marriage to a woman who has never met them and does not know of their inherent lameness.
Tara have you ever stopped to think (and I’m not defending JB, or even making a statement about him at all) but you generalized your comment outside of him, but have you stopped to think that desi men don’t necessarily grow up with parents who have engaged in western social practices (and in your definition of ‘lameness’ you are distinguishing between the western dating approach and a traditional indian/eastern approach) not only that, that some of our parents have also devalued the acquisition of those skills.
It’s guys like that who make it hard for the real good desi men out there.
That’s counterintuitive, if anything it’s guys like that should make it easier for real good desi men, as it would take less and less to stand out. If I’m in a class, take a test then score a 50, the 50 looks much better if everyone else gets a 2.
What it does assume however, is that a woman will shelve her inner prejudices before meeting new people.
women are considered inherently weaker and less capable, and have to go the extra mile to prove themselves. why should they give men the benefit of the doubt? that’s just male privilege.
“women are considered inherently weaker and less capable, and have to go the extra mile to prove themselves.”
you’re joking right? you pop in and out of character too much.
i am not joking. don’t you think there is a perception that women are the less capable sex in society? i am not saying that they are less capable, but when they are constantly underrepresented in all the male dominated bastions of society, and when even somebody like larry summers makes broad sweeping statements about aptitude, are you still saying that they have a level playing field?
what is the appropriate amount of character popping?
I’m actually with HMF on this… I don’t feel comfortable generalizing about men on a racial-sexual basis like Tara Watabe has done to combat JB’s asshatery (a noble cause, but stereotypes about black men having big penises, white men being more smooth? that just makes me uncomfortable). I also don’t think that guys who marry women from India are ‘inherently lame’ – most of the ones I know who have done this are DBDs who were working or studying in the U.S. for a few years until they wanted to get married, at which point they set up correspondence with a few girls back home – they talked with each other directly, each party consented, the women are educated, etc. Also, some guys (and people in general) really just never get used to American ideas of dating and relationships, and actually aren’t obsessed with sex… they genuinely want to just settle down and have kids. Also, I know an ABD woman who recently got married to a DBD she had corresponded with in this way. She’s still socially graceful and everything… some desis raised in America are just more conservative.
My husband is one of those men who have not grown up with parents who have engaged in western social practices and did not date in the western sense. However, he had one great quality that made him a magnificent catch; RESPECT FOR ALL WOMEN.
Is that all respect for all women makes you? A catch? I though it’d make you Mahatma Gandhi or something.
Marvelous thread btw.
Who said he was desi? He’s a white guy. There are no Indians at my Uni. He’s not a PhD or grad student cos, like I said, he didn’t even get his first year degree.
i am not joking. don’t you think there is a perception that women are the less capable sex in society? i am not saying that they are less capable, but when they are constantly underrepresented in all the male dominated bastions of society, and when even somebody like larry summers makes broad sweeping statements about aptitude, are you still saying that they have a level playing field?
it’s not as cut and dry as you put it. first of all, you completely shifted the sphere of discussion from male/female relationships to working in corporations. I dont think there is a perception that women are less capable in the realm of relationships, especially when it comes to the early dating stages (as what this facebook “stalking” is really attempting to do). In fact, if anything, society grants women the upper hand by sanctioning a perception of “men chasing, and women choosing”
yeah, but even in relationships overall, women take on a disproportionate share of the burden on average. especially working women today, who essentially hold down two jobs, one at work, and an unpaid one at home. why make an arbitrary distinction of early and later stages in a relationship? when they aren’t given any freebies, why should they hand them out?
and when going to bars, and being chased, women run a disproportionate risk of danger physically if they make an incorrect judgment. so sure, they bias on the side of caution.
when it comes to intoxication – i say – pick your poison. nips of either kind are delightfully inebriating, no? 🙂
lurker, you might get one yet for the nice points that you just made. btw, is this your insidious strategy to ingratiate yourself with the ladies? sorry to cast aspersions on your character, but i’m “biasing on the side of caution.” 🙂
yeah, but even in relationships overall, women take on a disproportionate share of the burden on average. especially working women today, who essentially hold down two jobs, one at work, and an unpaid one at home.
Blanket statement, an exaggeration. So men don’t work at home? But even if true, not relevant to the discussion of “facebook stalking” It was that setup that made the distinction, between early and later stages.
and when going to bars, and being chased, women run a disproportionate risk of danger physically if they make an incorrect judgment. so sure, they bias on the side of caution.
Again, shifting of sphere. Tara’s point wasn’t reject guys out of physical danger, or concern for personal safety. Rather “lameness” Then later her point was the pronderance of lameness makes it hard for the non-lame demographic, when in fact it should be the opposite. (See my test score example, a score of 50 in 2’s should be enhanced), what it takes however, is a willingness to believe that not everyone from that class will automatically score a 2.
Secondly, physical risks are an extreme case, and if they pose such imminent danger, perhaps women should steer clear of men that are extremly physically bigger & stronger than them.
btw, is this your insidious strategy to ingratiate yourself with the ladies?
Oh I have no doubt. Juxtapose that with someone like myself who keeps it real.
No one is suggesting “handing out freebies” which, by the way, women get on a daily basis (both figuratively and literally, free drinks, free meals, free clothes, free jewelry…) I don’t consider it a freebie to have “lameness not assumed automatically”
With all due respect to the Mahatma, he said some pretty whack things regarding the subject of rape and how a woman should handle it. However his view was not out of place for his geographical location at the time, and it was also reflective of his repressed views of sexuality, both his own and what he deemed approprite for others.
That was my point; though it may have been odd for a white guy, for a desi it isn’t neccessarily odd, so that same consideration could be extended to white guys too, taking into consideration that living on your own at 30 is not a universal law.
Perhaps I was not clear enough. By lameness I meant JB’s and Bollyhood’s obvious disrespect for the female gender. Ordinary lameness (gamelessness) can be tolerated, and even cute at times. I know my husband had absolutely no game and I thought he was adorable. But then again, he respected women and didn’t talk garbage about them.
By lameness I meant JB’s and Bollyhood’s obvious disrespect for the female gender.
Still isn’t tantamount to physical violence.
I know my husband had absolutely no game and I thought he was adorable.
Right, you weren’t attracted necessarily. you settled.
As a sidenote, there are instances when keeping it real could go wrong
you asked for the non presumption of lameness in a physical setting, not facebook. but, the larger point i wanted to make with my original comment was the dichotomy with the assumption that presuming that white people might be decent too is privilege? (i am guessing you are male, but not white. i am sure that has absolutely nothing to do with your viewpoints though.)
yes, there exist men who work at home. but look at the statistics. don’t women take on a disproportionate amount of household chores?
Real. If by that, you mean my immediate reaction is “Really????”.
?
what was that you said earlier about not insulting people in a debate? but hey, i am sure you meant this in the most real way possible.
not insiduous. more like blatant. i am sure you didn’t even realize the effect of the subliminal suggestion of the word ‘lurker’ in my handle. i am considering changing it to dravidian stalker next.
The main point though wasn’t that he is living at home. Like I said, he is a 7th or 8th year who didn’t even get his first year credits yet. That is for me at least, but actually most almost everyone I know, a huge red flag about a person. Besides, in my country is IS considered very strange if you are a 30-year-old living with your parents, unless you have some sort of disability.
Anyway this is getting exceedingly off-topic.
some other freebies we get: nice glass ceilings, gender-selective abortions, questions about our fitness to be political leaders, jobs/tenure clocks that do not acknowledge our biological constraints, the second shift, unequal pay for equal work, restricted mobility because of safety concerns, the attack on our right to choose, historic designation as the spoils of war, getting to be lawyers and doctors and other professionals as late as the 20th c., relatively recent property ownership rights and electoral franchise.
no such thing as a free lunch as various others have pointed out on previous threads on this topic. we [women] mix our labor with natural endowments (‘look pretty’) because often this is the only way to access the resources and circumstances for some of us. the smart economic conservative commentators will break down locke for you. either you’re obtuse (in not being able to evaluate social mores beyond the superficial level) or just troll-ish.
sorry, i do not want to be seen as self-pitying or hysterical here, but HMF, to paraphrase a spirited young woman on this blog: “you’re making it hard for me not assume that you’re automatically lame.” you do an awesome job of keeping it real. in some dimension not yet known to us lesser mortals. this may be an instructive read for you.
you asked for the non presumption of lameness in a physical setting, not facebook
I made no claim either way, I think non presumption of lameness should be given in both.
my original comment was the dichotomy with the assumption that presuming that white people might be decent too is privilege?
It’s a privilege when the same isn’t afforded to other races. I believe men and women should be afforded non-presumption of lameness, of course since we live in a society where women do all (or most of) the initial “evaluating”, it’s female presumptions that carry the most weight.
This is why the race and gender situation isn’t completely synonymous. With gender, there are only 2, and they are evolutionarily dependent on each other. And there are no (or very miniscule-ly few) societies that majority tilted to one gender (for example America is 80+% white, are there societies that are 80+% men?)
yes, there exist men who work at home. but look at the statistics. don’t women take on a disproportionate amount of household chores?
Yes they do, but again, irrelevant to the discussion.
what was that you said earlier about not insulting people in a debate?
And I usually don’t… unless someone else draws first blood.
Chapeau, portmanteau 😉
[s]talk to me…..;) i like your game. so much better than buying a drink for a lady. you’ll go places, son.
nice glass ceilings, gender-selective abortions, questions about our fitness to be political leaders, jobs/tenure clocks that do not acknowledge our biological constraints, the second shift, unequal pay for equal work, restricted mobility because of safety concerns, the attack on our right to choose, historic designation as the spoils of war, getting to be lawyers and doctors and other professionals as late as the 20th c., relatively recent property ownership rights and electoral franchise.
And this is where the hypocrisy sets in deepest. I’m all for eroding each and every one of these.
As for history, there’s not much that can be done, if I had a time machine, I’d go back and support eroding those in the past as well. However, what I do demand as at least a fucking acknowledgement of the discrepancies I mention, rather than bring up divisions that have no place in the discussion (and, that many women not only have no issue with, rather they propogate themselves)
“you’re making it hard for me not assume that you’re automatically lame.”
you’re making it very easy for me to prove my point.
what offended your tender sensibilities, may i know? in any case, don’t pull your punches though, i can take them. we can trade jibes all day, but as a wise man (or woman?) once said, “never mud wrestle with a pig. you get dirty. and the pig loves it.”.
we weren’t talking about ideals, you were suggesting a specific normative guideline for how people should act, as in “when you meet a white person, do not presume that he is not a racist”.
portmanteau, i have half a mind to suggest that you be my belle de jour.
yeah, so you’re saying basically that women are also socialized inappropriately. duh. it’s the patriarchy, stupid! and i’m also for eroding the [“modern”] socioeconomic circumstances that push men and women both only to disproportionately rely on the characteristics/skills/traits that have been assumed to be their traditional strengths of their particular gender. it is very easy for young women in today’s culture to follow the smell of the “freebies,” as you derisively pointed out. your observations seem to be spot-on in general, but then your cause-effect reasoning seems to be way off-base. all i’m asking for is a little considered reflection. unfortunately you forget to contend with the culture we’ve grown up with: it’s warped precisely because of the historical circumstances you think are so tangential to this discussion.
you were suggesting a specific normative guideline for how people should act, as in “when you meet a white person, do not presume that he is not a racist”.
That’s misquoting. I was not prescribing guidelines, rather I was asking a question from a practial/realist one might even say, defeatist, point of view.. given that racial stereotypes exist and minorities must deal with them there seems to be a national consciousness of acceptance (ie. it’s ok to follow a black person around in a store, because, well black people are more predisposed to crime), why do we clamour all over each other to make sure the whites have no such thing happen to him in the realm of prejudging based on race (when only 60 years ago, most whites weren’t even shy about it?)
i’ve plans for the day; but i could be your belle du nuit.
yeah, so you’re saying basically that women are also socialized inappropriately. duh. it’s the patriarchy, stupid!
I personally think its a cop-out to say that women are these mindless zombies who are marching to the patriarchial tune with every decision they make. I’m for giving them all the freedoms in the world, but also the accountability that goes with it.
thank you, benevolent sir. i am grateful for my constitutional freedoms and human rights that you have deigned to grant. please audit my behavior as and when you please (i’m but a hysterical woman governed by the tides and the moon). you, of course, are entitled to all of that without any accountability plus a birthright to inflict your utter daftness upon all of us. i apologize for some ad hominem remarks that have creeped in here, but put that down to my zombie-like stupidity.
given your complete inability to engage with slightly complex arguments, i think i will go with the obtuse judgment. thanks for making such a straw-man of my claim.
meanwhile, also note that i granted that patriarchy furnishes sucky circumstances for men as well. since you see all this in binaries.
no more on this from me.
you are my kind of zombie!
Seems you just want to argue. I did not berate JB for trying to look for the girls at his Uni that he saw on Facebook, remember? I was the one who said it’s not any different from us girl “pretending” to bump into a cute guy we’ve been eyeing for days. My comments about his lameness and disrespect came after he verbalized further his ideas about women, American women, European women and Desi women. Take your physical violence argument elsewhere because I did not write anything abuot physical violence.
So you know me now? You know that I “settled” for the man I love? Riiiiiiiiiight.
Take your physical violence argument elsewhere because I did not write anything abuot physical violence.
I know you didn’t, DL did.
i apologize for some ad hominem remarks that have creeped in here, but put that down to my zombie-like stupidity.
err. arent you the one who magnificently claimed “it’s the patriarchy stupid”?
given your complete inability to engage with slightly complex arguments
What’s complex about saying “it’s all the guys fault”?
So you know me now? You know that I “settled” for the man I love? Riiiiiiiiiight
This is a side point, but I don’t necessarily think settling is a bad thing, nor do I think settling & loving someone are mutually exclusive. All it means is, you didn’t have that instant attraction.
to clarify the sense in which i used the term (which is fairly standard usage):
“Fredrika Scarth, (a feminist) reads Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex to be saying, “Neither men nor women live their bodies authentically under patriarchy.” Carole Pateman, another feminist, writes, “The patriarchal construction of the difference between masculinity and femininity is the political difference between freedom and subjection.” (from Wikipedia)
Does anyone here seem to be saying “it’s the guys fault?” At least try to characterize my views accurately.
Didn’t Simone de Beauvoir used to find young women for Sartre to sleep with in his later years? Now that is un understanding wife. I think she wrote about it.
At least try to characterize my views accurately
This is ironic, coming from you, as I had only made a comment about benefits that are afforded to women in early stages of social relationships, given a ‘dating’ framework (#226), and your retort was to inexplicably bring up the fact that women couldn’t be doctors or lawyers in the 1800’s as some kind of counterpoint? (#232) – as if to say I am not aware of the laundry list of disenfranchisements you presented?
You are perfect for DL, both of you completely mischaracterized what I was saying, and shifted the entire fulcrum of the discussion.
So Tara,
Is your husband desi? If he is, can we assume that he as less size and skills in the bedroom than white and black guys? Because that’s what you seemed to be saying.
People need to get over this shit. No race is any bigger or better in bed than any other. It’s all individual. And the while you may think you are being complimentary to black guys, all you are doing is perpetuating the same sort of sexual exotification that most desi women in America have been complaining about for years.