Via a tipster, the Telegraph (UK) has something on The Compulsive Confessor, a Bombay-based blogger:
In breezy postings, the 25-year-old girl-about-town – India’s answer to Bridget Jones – told thousands of readers of her partying, smoking and binge drinking, along with candid musings about sexual techniques and escapades. Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan writes her Sex and the City-style blog under the pseudonym “EM”, aware that although her material would not seem outrageous to a British audience, in India sex remains a taboo and anti-obscenity laws are strict. (link)
This particular article tries to play up the salacious content of the blog, and seems hell-bent on finding “controversy,” though this angle falls a little flat at certain moments:
Madhavan, a Delhi-born writer for a news magazine, Outlook, launched The Compulsive Confessor during a dull day at the office in 2004.
While her critics grow daily more scandalised, her thousands of fans believe she is changing the face of modern Indian womanhood. Her blog is among the most popular in India, receiving 400-500 hits a day, although only two per cent of India’s 1.1 billion population have internet access. (link)
(I would make a comment about how “400-500 hits a day” is actually not a lot of hits, but I’m sure that number has spiked since this profile appeared.)
The most interesting part of the article, of course, is in the concluding paragraphs, where it’s revealed that The Compulsive Confessor now has a book deal with Penguin India:
Unsurprisingly perhaps, the publisher Penguin India has commissioned Madhavan to write a semi-autobiographical novel, hoping she will rival the success of Candace Bushnell, the American author of Sex and the City, in giving voice to a new generation.
Meanwhile, Madhavan is apprehensive that news of her real identity will spread even further when the book is published, making it harder to be frank in her internet journal. “It will be harder to write when you’re no longer anonymous,” she said. (link)
Hm, she’s worried about news of her identity spreading after her book’s published? What about when she’s profiled by a major British newspaper, where the reporter uses her real name?
(Note: I hope this isn’t one of those situations where the reporter used Madhavan’s name against her wishes, thereby outing her… Something about this profile doesn’t quite smell right…)
Take a look at The Compulsive Confessor; what do you think? Is she the next Shobha De? Or merely the next Amy Sohn?
to the Confessor’s admirers who are getting so defensive and confuse criticise her writing for snickering at her lifestyle – maybe you should read this blog more. We are obviously not uptight. But I will say this about her lifestyle. I am sick of women in third world countries who feel like smoking is a sign of being modern. You are 50 years behind. Maybe virginia Slims can target these women with their You’ve Come a Long Way Baby ads . It’s bad enough so many Indian guys in India seem to think smoking is cool.
Talking about sex is not exactly groundbreaking anymore. Mrs Bedi was streaking across Bombay in the 70s. And she never came close to getting lynched.
Important point to note – she needs to learn how to write in a more interesting manner.
Word, bro. I wouldn’t either.
I skimmed through her blog but she somewhat reminds me of those random women whom become popular on youtube, adult sites for posing seductively/scandously.
I think in addition to the boring substance of her blog, it’s that smug mentality that turns me off. Has she heard of Protima Bedi in the 70s? She OPENLY had affairs, streaked through Bombay naked. All in the 70s. She lived life the way she wanted. This meant a little bit more in the 70s. Now people having sex in India is not that uncommon. Smoking is not exaclty rebellious. She went from conforming to the family ideal to conforming to Virginia Slims type marketing hype. I just see her as a boring person who thinks partying like the people she reads in western books and movies is the height of rebellion when it is neither original nor gutsy. What Neena Gupta did in the 80s having a kid with Viv Richards and keepin the baby and raising her right without making a fuss of it. That was gutsy. She didnt pretend that it was something cool. She liked what she saw and felt like having a baby.
If she is that adventurous, she needs to go backpacking around India or Europe. Meet different people. Maybe go mountain climbing in the Himalayas. Stage a protest against censorship in the media. I dont know. Make a difference of some sort and I will find it noteworthy. Or at least just entertain me.
Amitabh & ‘Jason Bourne’ – what are you basing your ‘I wouldn’t be proud to have her in my family’ statements on?
Personally, I don’t support vapidity. Sometimes it’s fun to engage in (e.g. I devoured the gossip girl books when I was in high school), but it’s gotta be well-written for me.
I wouldn’t support anyone in my family being a rambly writer, if that’s what you mean.
jay @46, which of the comments before yours gives you the sense that people are being judgmental? personally, for me to read a blog, either the ideas have to be interesting, or the writing has to be good. this blog doesn’t have much of either.
of course, her writing quality may not have very much to do at all with any success she might have as a writer. if shobha de, kaavya, and dan brown can make #1 on the bestseller lists, more power to her too.
i read india uncut occassionally, it is an often amusing collection of links. i am sure it is more popular than 500 hits a day. ultrabrown also links to some good desi blogs on its right pane under “check it”. i don’t know how popular they are, but i have seen some of them nominated for indiblogger awards and the like (i believe india uncut won some awards too).
nala, that’s funny and on-point. exactly what i was going to say.
i think her blog is boring.
the only novel thing about it is that it doesn’t fit the traditional indian woman stereotype. but, if this was a lady from nyc or somewhere nearby, nobody would have even paid attention to it.
Ha ha. How true. No one needs her to be a great English writer with great vocabulary. BUt just make it interesting.
I am a somewhat regular reader and I gotta disagree with some of you all. I love her! Her blog is really funny and interesting – I read it almost everyday. She’s my idol!
I think Indian women have their own lifestyles that need not be boiled down to the NY prototype. So for all US Desis bitching on this blog, I think its more important to listen to what she’s saying (even if it is banal sometimes)rather than jump and cast judgement based on SATC. Seeing Delhi and Bombay through her eyes have been fun for me – it tells me how much things are different now than even a few years back and I applaud her for her frankness. And I’ve read way worse contemporary SATC versions from NY itself. So rather than seeing it a constant game of the desh catching up, root it in the ethos of the country rather than some abstract blanket terms of judgement. And frankly, I detect a note of disdain in these comments that appears to go beyond aesthetic considerations.
I somewhat sympathize with your sentiment there. But if she is indeed ripping other shows/blogs it’s unpardonable. And for that matter I didn’t find the stories of SaTC groundbreaking. Packaging those stories into a slick TV show however was novel and that’s what made it fly. Also if Madhavi is being judged against the best of her genre of sexual tell-alls, then why don’t I ever see ABD artists/writers profiled here similarly judged against the better known names in their respective niches? Don’t you think some of your more loved alterna-desis won’t make the cut then? You cut them enough slack because they are your only role models in less conventional vocations. Why not allow Madhavi similar tolerance? Looks like she is a daringly frank blogger in a very non-confessional culture. She is blazing a trail too.
Also it’s unfair to hold Indians’ writing in English to the same standard as of those whose mother tongue is English or who at least grew up speaking English for the most part. I should expand on this last point but I’ll maybe do it later.
how cool is that! she’s indian and she smokes and has premarital sex! Who would have guessed? Here I was, thinking all middle-eastern women wore burkas!!
I’m definitely going to buy that book.
Posterity- I’m pretty sure that posters and commenters on this blog have criticized ABD writers on both aesthetic and political levels. Including The Namesake, although they do identify with it.
Also, she is part of the Delhi socialite scene, not to mention an English-language journalist- English isn’t a foreign language to her.
And the criticism of her writing doesn’t have to do so much with her grasp of the English language so much as with her style of writing – very rambly.
Does that mean she does not need to make reservations at the little kebab shop in Khan market?
Hmmm. I’m wondering whether some of the nastiness here is really warranted. Oh! Doomsday alert – desi woman trying to corrupt the masses. There are several comments here that expect her to be an icon of sorts; to conform to a certain ideal of the desi woman. Some others have offered to validate her if she makes great humanitarian contributions from her. Whatever for?!!!
Can’t she just be? Bad writing, rambling, imperfections, smoking, drinking, sex and all?
A letter from Meenakshi’s mother (who reads her blog, I think) http://thecompulsiveconfessor.blogspot.com/2007/03/my-old-wise-people.html
Nitya- this is the internet. when a blogger gets a book deal, her writing is going to get criticized. it’s not just ‘nastiness.’
come again?
If her writing continues to be that boring – she will “just be”. So don’t worry. That time will come soon. No one is going to give a shit at that point – even if she undergoes a vow of celibacy.
I don’t find her writing boring.
This woman has a book deal ? What’s so good about her writing? I’m not a writer but her stuff seems okay to me not spectacular. Seems like a college student’s blog type thing mixed with a young urban professional’s income level and life style.
Yes, she does “ramble”, but her blog is called the Compulsive Conessor , so isn’t that the point?
Okay. I read a lot of her blogs. Some of the jokes she makes are very similar to jokes me and my friends would make when we were in high school (and thats high school in the USA) so I am wondering where she is getting all of this from ? Is she foreign educated ? Has she been to foreign ? Does she have relatives in foreign? She must, the jokes are way too similar.
Um… hi? I’ve been debating whether or not to say something, and many of your points are reasonable enough. Just in myt defence against the one thing that keeps popping up over and over in these comments–I didn’t portray myself to the journalist as “liberal” or rebellious” because of my lifestyle. In fact, I told her when she asked me how I felt about “representing” the urban Indian woman, that I was uncomfortable with the word representing, and that what I wrote about was nothing new because all my friends live pretty much the same way. I also mentioned some other women bloggers who wrote about the same thing. The interview with her didn’t last very long, and I realised I was going to be outed sooner or later, something I also said to her over the phone. Oh, and she asked me how many daily hits I had and drew her own inferences. I love SaTC but I only started watching it like a year ago, so there goes that theory. eM
That last comment was supposed to read: “DDiA loves him some Meenakshadenfreude”. Apologies. Will the monkey please edit away the error above?
Pradeep #54
Pamela Bordes–I knew her when she was Pamela Chaudhry–was another such character from that time. I rather think she did all those things because she craved an exciting avant-garde lifestyle. Of course, there were other avenues and most of us (those who wanted something else) pursued those. A few, like Pamela, chose sex as their medium.
I know many many unconventional (by Indian standards) Indians. It’s probably the circles I moved around in. Some of the things the did would raise eyebrows even in the west. The point is, there have always been people in India (and elsewhere) who have managed to shock their peers. But everytime one does something sensational, the bar is raised. So now in 2007, even in India, a blog like this might be interesting for one’s (teen-age) friends, but really passe for a more general audience.
in fact, the us is so dissolute that the only way to get your name in the papers is by doing something like this or this. if/when i have a daughter, i am going to make sure i have my day in the sun (or at least the ny times) by selecting a suitor for her using a swayamvara involving archery, wrestling, and competitive commenting on blogs (you know, a good mix of the modern and ancient).
nala @ 55 and in the 60s, thanks for making me giggle this morning 🙂
I also don’t buy the “holding a non-native English speaker to English standards” argument, partially for the reasons nala listed, and partially because there are plenty of lovely writers writing in English out of the des. It’s not a stylistic difference so much as it is a writing preference. It’s not like when you’re reading German translated into English which is a starkly different, convoluted style.
i love EM! but i haven’t read her in over a month, so missed the book deal bit. before she moved over to compulsive confessor, though, she actually did get outed at her workplace and that’s when she switched her blog to CC. i stumbled on her blog by accident, but i found it very interesting – and her lifestyle very typical/believable for someone of her background and social circle. the book should be interesting. congratulations!
nala – i think she is telugu – i vaguely remember a mention of a visit to AP from a post – and she definitely mentions her south indian roots…
without knowing anymore about you (just like you made that comment without knowing much about her) and based purely on the above statement, i wouldn’t be proud to have you as a member of my family, in any role. i don’t know what you are basing it on (sexuality? liberal voicing of her opinion? talking openly about sex in india?), but you clearly aren’t holding out any possibility that this girl will have redeeming qualities (not that i look down on any of the characteristics i just stated). maybe you should read the blog to learn about her for yourself; though i’m not a fan of making comments or judgments about other people’s lifestyles, even when i do know the whole story. but that’s just me.
a little ironic that a post about writing quality has a typo in its title 🙂
ak, well said. independent of any “redeeming” qualities, it is a little tiresome to continuously see judgment of people’s moral characters by their personal sexual or partying habits. it shouldn’t be a problem for anybody as long as they are smart and safe about it. although i’d certainly not be excited to have her blow smoke in my breathing range.
amitabh, i wonder if you inflict and share your searing verdicts with your buddies who go out partying and drinking, and maybe pick up the odd girl?
This is part of the future of publishing. In the UK there is a publisher called The Friday Project that publishes nothing but books developed from various bloggers, and their titles sell very well indeed. ‘Belle de Jour’ was the blog of a high class call girl in London, anonymously, very salacious and titillating, and she got a book contract out of it and it’s just been made into a prime time multi million pound TV series. I reckon this blogger is working to that template, as are Penguin India.
now that you have a book deal, prepare to be misquoted, and to grow thicker skin. you’re not at fault for the sex & the city comparisons (which nearly everything gets compared to, jeez); i think it’s just that some of us living in the U.S. are sick of it, haha. but we’re also not your target audience. but yeah, definitely keep doing your thing.
forgot to add – after all, you’re the one who has a book deal, not us. 🙂
hm, i think it’s weird that the American/British ‘confessional’ genre has moved to India; I find the American obsession with ‘confessionals’ kind of fucked up (um, for lack of a better term) on a cultural level (e.g. post secret, though i do enjoy it myself), and i’m not sure how that will translate to urban India.
Would anyone be proud to have someone like this as their sister or daughter? Maybe some of you women would…I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t. I haven’t read her blog but based just on what’s being described here.
Makes me wonder what you would do if she was your sister. I can’t believe in this day and age and on this blog I’ll ever read a statement like that. I’ll be relieved if you look down on her because of her alleged un-originality or her writing style. But I doubt that’s what made you say the above.
ugh yeah, seriously. ok i take back what i said before about her blog not really being all that ‘radical.’ obviously there are more than a few indian men uncomfortable with the idea of an indian woman liking sex and not apologizing for it. makes me glad that i don’t blog. eM- even more than before, keep doing your thing. 🙂
nala, why?
I love PostSecret 🙂 It’s not even the repetition within genre that bothers me, it’s really whether or not it’s interesting to read. E.g., I think Bridget Jones’s Diary is hilarious, and it’s totally written in a quirky yet fun confessional style. I guess what I like about it is that it sounds “authentic” — like a conversation I would have with my girlfriends, whereas SatC never felt authentic — it always felt contrived and self-indulgent. There’s not a big difference between the two, though, except for their style.
Camille- I feel like confessionals are part of a larger cultural trend in which we’re ‘looking in’ on people’s lives (e.g. reality TV) and taking pleasure in how messed up in the head/stupid/just bad people they are, but without deriving any sort of meaning from it (then again, sometimes you just want mindless pleasure)… kind of like celebrity gossip sites a la perez hilton. the voyeurism bothers me because it leads to intense criticism (especially of women) for the stupidest ass things (e.g. britney spears and the VMAs this year)… then again they can be enlightening in various ways, like ‘how to make love like a porn star’ (yeah whatever jenna and her ghost writer. porn stars don’t ‘make love,’ they FUCK), ‘confessions of a video vixen’ and even paris hilton’s book ‘confession of an heiress,’ haha. hm i guess i think it’s weird that most of these confessionals are told from a female perspective, like we have something to feel ashamed of/guilty for in the first place, and we have to ‘confess’ it in a way akin to confessing our sins.
That’s not what I meant.
ak (#81) knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about. The fact that she doesn’t agree is fine, since obviously we are on two different sides of this…but I stand by what I said…as a desi guy, I would never want my sister or daughter to have a blog like this, or be known publicly for this kind of attitude or behavior. That’s not the culture I come from, period. I don’t care if you people agree or not, that’s my opinion.
What about if your brother or son had a blog like this?
At the end of the day, you have to grow a thick skin, because at some point, those close to you are going to do things you don’t like. How you deal with it will be the measure of you as a man.
I wouldn’t like that either.
As long as you don’t beat them up (or worse), you have a number of options, disowning them, that kind of thing. Or you could just deal with it. Everyone has to deal with things they don’t like in life.
Well, at the end of the day, the most you can do is stop talking to someone. And I probably would stop talking to a sister who did this stuff. If that means according to your judgments I’m less of a man, so be it. Or if ak feels that in that case my sister would be better off without me, then so be it…but that would be my only form of protest and you better believe I’d use it.
I honestly just think it’s straight up
that apparently the first thought that came to your head was ‘I wouldn’t be proud to have her as my sister or daughter.’ I know that among desis in the U.S. it can seem like a really small world and get kind of incestuous, but honestly, just… weird. She’s one woman among more than 600 million in India. (I do think more guys should consider the ‘how would I feel if someone treated my mother/daughter/sister this way’ notion when it comes to things like street harassment, but a woman blogging about sex is in no way equivalent to street harassment)
when you say “That’s not the culture I come from, period” (I presume you mean Indian culture) and state it’s like a fact, I think you can expect to get comments from people who disagree with you. because, newsflash: culture is not static, and I see no reason to expect it to be.
eM will probably find enough fodder in the conversation here to squeeze out 1-3 new posts. 🙂
I’d only think that if you went on one of those long and unending protests that Indians seem to specialise in — not speaking to a family member for the rest of their life, because they disagree or disapprove of something they did or said. that kind of thing. I’ve seen plenty of that kind of thing in my family and other people’s families. And as well as being a little tragic and sad, it’s also funny too, in a blackly comical kind of way.
I’m well aware of this. But every individual has to decide where they’re going to draw the line. And to some extent, I will make judgements about where others choose to draw their lines. I’m not trying to stop her or take away her freedom to do this, just expressing my distaste at it.
I cannot imagine disowning a sister over this kind of stuff and I cannot stand smoking. And for an Indian educated woman to smoke, it’s more than peer pressure in India. She probably has to make a conscious decision to smoke and I wonder what the thinking is behind this, especially if you are educated and you know how cigarette companies exploited the female liberation angle to peddle smokes to women in the west 30 -40 years ago. (i specify class and gender here because I am not fazed when I see a poor Indian woman smoke a beedi because it is not that uncommon and I can see them try to handle the pressures by smoking a beedi).
So like Amitabh, I do have strong feelings about at least one of her lifestyle habits, but where I differ is this whole disowning crap. I have seen a couple of examples of Indian parents disown their kids in the US for hell’s sake for just getting married to a white or chinese person. It is not common,but it really makes me wonder how some Indians would rather see their kin be a corrupt robber baron than someone who drinks or has a few lays.
Well Pradeep, I’ve seen the same thing too but in most cases it lasts a few years and then it’s over. I have a cousin who married someone from the ‘wrong community’ and she was disowned by her parents, until a few years later she produced some gorgeous babies and their hearts melted. Indians can be very misguidedly proud people.
…but I stand by what I said…as a desi guy, I would never want my sister or daughter to have a blog like this, or be known publicly for this kind of attitude or behavior. That’s not the culture I come from, period. I don’t care if you people agree or not, that’s my opinion.
Leave Amitabh alone! He wants to protect the izzat(honor) of our maa-bahen(mother-sister). Hell, I would honor-kill my sister, mother, niece, grandmother, female cousin, female neighbor, female colleague if they were to debase themselves publicly by engaging in a tell-all public blog.