One of you kind souls, who wishes to remain anonymous, sent me this picture of “India’s Brangelina“, because you were hoping we might play The Caption Game with it (ji, thanks!). Absosmurfly! What better way to draw off-topic commentary away from the Maximum Nerdery thread? 😉
Without further ado, let’s get snarky. To the left we see Abhishek Bachan and his bride strutting down the red carpet at Cannes.
Most of you are aware that Aishwarya is sometimes known by the unwieldy acronym TMBWITW. Well, now that she is part of a pair, I propose that her hubby get an acronym, too. It’s only fair, right? Damnit, I don’t want to propagate the hegemony of the pasty. Err, I meant…it’s only dark? Whatever.
How about TMFHITW? I’m sure you can guess what the third and fourth letters stand for, but in case you haven’t had two cups of coffee like I have, I’ll spare you from wondering– FH = fugly hair.
Unless your name is Esthappan and you’re rocking a puff, COMB YOUR HAIR. I’m guessing Abhishek get it from his Mama? Big Daddy Amitabh’s tresses seem a bit more manageable. Anyway, the entire point of this debacle of a post is to offer you tired, grumpy, three-day-weekend-missing mutineers a chance to play the caption game! You know how we do, and if you don’t, check out previous editions: ein, zwei, drei, vier, funf…
So, just what is Aish saying? What is her spouse thinking? Why are there suddenly so many Tamil people on SM? The answers to all this and more, will most probably not be found below, not that you’re disappointed at that. Now get to captioning!
what ash is thinking “little do they know…thats actually a box of fair and lovely in my hand”
what abishek is thinking “my wife is so hot….i dont even need to shave”
He really should shave. After he combs his hair. He’s totally coasting on her hotness. 😉
Ash is waving to Vincent Chase and saying “Well I, for one, thought Medellin was a masterpiece!”
That would not be the first time that has happened.
And I agree he badly needs a shave. Could this be a stunt for a major razor promo?
Comb his hair? What he needs is a haircut. That thing looks like a small mattress.
What cop in the background is thinking: “Who is this monkey with that hotness?”
Doubt it. I think Abhishek is just one of those deluded desi boys who thinks a half-assed beard/goatee/soul patch is cool. If you’re going to have a beard, HAVE A BEARD. See: Sikh men for examples of how it’s done.
Honestly, I don’t know what some people are thinking– one of my best friends had a soul patch until January of this year, until we had an intervention with him. 😉 Friends don’t let friends sport shitty facial hair.
what abishek is really thinking “my wife is so hot….i feel in-vi-si-ble!”
that look as always looked like a 13 year old trying to grow a beard to me.
what abhishek is thinking:
Go ahead, make fun of my hair mutineers but see who I got on my arm, nyah,nyah,nyah!
ouch. touche…although, if your the son if AB-senior, you could have been born a monkey in a diaper, and end up with that on your arm.
‘that’s right, buddy – this ugly bastard is my husband’
i do think ab jr is good-looking – he just doesn’t know how to flatter his looks.
how does one bag a minor bollywood starlet if your a normal guy?
Abhishek thinks All this baby, and I had masala dosa for dinner…whose the Big B now?
‘Ha! Take that Salman. My new husband has more hair then you everywhere!’
ewww….
Puli, Some suggestions: a) Produce a Bollywood movie and give interviews to every major Indian filmi newsrag that you are looking for the next Madhuri Dixit and you want a “fresh face” for a role that is off the beaten track b) Organize a Bollywood dance extravaganza in NY with proceeds going to your favorite charity; put out advertisments asking for dancers/singers etc c) Visit Mumbai and spread the rumor that you are M.Night Shyamalan’s cousin and you are helping him cast for his next movie which is a ghost story set in ancient India…
those are all excellent suggestions….first i would need to shuttle my moral values into the next world. i do like how you think though.
ah, but y’all haven’t seen the motorokr ad that abhi does (aired in india). he may not be no hottie, but he’s got a sense of humour and a ton-o-charm. way too cute.
and dincha know? girls rate humour higher than hotness.
you DO have a sense of humor..
runa, i was going to reply to puli, but your suggestions were far more comprehensive. puli, one of my friends moved to bombay when our office was opening up there – and hooked up (non-sexually) with the creative director of mtv for pr purposes and to build contacts – and you will not believe the number of models, actresses, women in general that he hooked up (sexually) with. a huge part of it was that he was an ABD and a businessman looking to ‘invest,’ not to mention he has this ridiculously charming personality. and he didn’t just hook up – he ended up meeting somebody who eventually became his fiancee.
14 · Puliogre in da USA how does one bag a minor bollywood starlet if your a normal guy?
Sad to say, Puli, but from what I’ve heard–call an escort service in Delhi….
Abhi: I dont fit in around here, maybe i should follow Aish’s regime. What is her fairness ka raaz?
uuuhhh cuz its a wig
and now Walsh wants to cast her in Silo
theres only 1 problem with that plan.
Really?? Wow, I really don’t know anything about Bollywhat.
“Shave? She like the friction…and you know she doesn’t kiss.”
Touché, Jeet!
thats it…thats the answer. right there.
“Back off, Angelina”
thats it….im putting up my own blog this weekend.
“Back off, Puli”
Loves it.
id go for the looser in the miss india contest….beauty contest loosers sounds like a market segment i should be tapping.
what do you mean man? whos looser? whos tighter? how would you know?
loser. my spelling ist lame on SM. ignore the spelling.
“look, abhi…travolta’s wig looks better than daddy’s”
“im, too sexy for umrika. too sexy for umrika….”
“see everyone? he’ll never get his hands on my box”
look on a cameraman’s (to the right, next to the baldy) face in the background is priceless
“Yes, I have had AB’s jr errr i mean abhi jr…nevermind”
“Abhi, see that dress on that woman? I gave it to her after I dropped two sizes.”
“Yes, he is the son of a farmer but no hilly-billy though..”
“And he proposed to me, and he proposed to me, and he promised me a castle in the Alps….”
AB jr is shouting out to Yair Marx, hah!! Now really check out the best cans in Cannes!
“Shave karo? Abhi nahi”
TMBWITW: “That’s right bitches, you can all wonder about this paunch right here, maybe I’m pregnant, maybe I’m not, but you can keep questioning!!” TMFHITW:”That’s right bitches. I coulda made TMBWITW pregnant!!” Snigger snigger
And guys rate hotness higher than humor. So I guess it works out for Abhishwariya.
cause i have no place else to go….
cause i need someone to tell me what to think. awaiting instructions.
cause of my e-crush on some SM commentors.
cause SM is better than work
cause this is the only place i can get anonymous advice on how to bag a bollywood starlet.
cause this is the only place i can learn about onam, la perla, AND the mystery spot.
That gets my vote.