A quick thanks to all the folks who showed up last Saturday evening for the SM / UB joint meetup. A N N A’s ankle precluded her attendance (get well!) but long time mega-commentor Razib was one of several surprise guests for the evening.
Festivities were scheduled to start @ 5pm but more than just moi + Manish suffered from IST – Verlaine only opened its doors @ 6pm so a few of us socialized outside for a bit. While Verlaine had initially planned to allocate a small corner up front, our numbers swelled and by peak hour our >>50 folks occupied the entire front half of the venue (“we don’t die, we multiply”). Including in&out flow of peeps, I’d guesstimate we had close to 70 people over the course of the evening. About 15 folks survived till about 10pm when a few of us broke off to grab dinner @ the Mexican place next door.
I did my best to circulate and say hello, make a few intro’s and the like but alas, there were quite a few folks I didn’t get a chance to connect with. Still, I was a bit surprised by the number of lurkers + not-quite-regular readers I met. I sorta expected some of the regulars but was duly impressed with the folks who drove up from Philly, NJ, LI and other places to partake in some desi camraderie despite hitting the blog perhaps once or 2x a month. Wild stuff.
Pictures? Well, fotog extraordinaire, Preston Merchant has a few snaps up on his site and Ultrabrown host Manish Vij has a few more picts + commentary over here. Neither of them quite have the one pict that conveyed the scale of the event but it’s a fun browse nevertheless. Any attendees – would love to hear your take in the comments.
Off we go to San Francisco.
I surprised how large the gathering was compared to even last summer. — We definitely took over the whole bar!
wish i could have made it. had work that day. oh well…
Ya. It was fun! Would have been much more fun, if we had intros (or the name cards that I saw in the DC meetup pics, I think. Go A N N A! 😀 )
So, next time, even if no one else does it, I will respond to the ” how about some intros” from the Mutineer(s) in attendance!
I’m sorry I missed it; it sounded like an awesome party 🙁
razib was there?
my first time, and a good time!
It was a very fun evening… :o) I was amazed at the turnout.
Camille, I was looking forward to meeting you.
Anantha, definitely a good time but yes, intros would be more than welcome!
Camille, when did you move from the west coast? Are you in NYC now?
heh… for a diff take on the event, Zen’s writeup was an interesting read. Still, it’s good to see she had a good time despite the “elitist ABCD types” in the crowd. To each her own, I’m glad she made it, & there’s always room for the constructive criticism…
FWIW, we briefly contemplated running across the street and grabbing nametags but figured it would be a tough sell to get folks to wear ’em @ a bar (DC had their meetup @ a desi restaurant where that sort of tribal ID badge is a little easier to get away with). Perhaps we can pull it off in SF….
Vinod, I guess you weren’t aware of this. 🙂
Isn’t that what cost Dinkins the election?
Now, now. Don’t go spreading around rumors. Do you have a
n episodereliable source to back up that claim? 😉Vinod, Good thing I couldn’t make it–if Zen finds your bow-tie “elitist,” I can only imagine what she would have made of my ascot! 😉
13 ,# 12
Episode # :71 What do I win ? 🙂
Actually ascots and even the far more contemporary mankerchiefs can look fetching on the right guy.
And for the record, I didn’t refer directly to the bow-tie as elitist 🙂
I’m confused– are we talking about the “bow tie” that Vinod is wearing in his SM pic, in the thumbnail we use next to the name of whoever wrote the post? Because if we are, I think that picture was from his sister’s wedding, and he was in a tux, because he was a groomsman or something.
I like bow ties. They’re charming. I have never seen a mutineer in one. If I’m wrong about the above, I feel cheated! Damn you, 3V, you never wore a bow tie around me!
Affirmative.
Funny, another group of people are known for bowties.
vinod’s initial are VVV?
Affirmative. 😉
Diehard, (die-slow) reader and supporter. I was pleased to meet bow-tie-man and _the_athiest in person as well as other commenters, readers and people who blog elsewhere. Well done, Vinod. Is the NYC crowd too big for more, uh, intimate, restaurant style meetups? Nametags sound cool too.
Who else is planning on going to the SF meetup? I’m tempted but I’m a little, er, awkward in honest-to-goodness social soirees concerning persons I’ve silently fawned over online for months. It’s like–meeting a ginormous crush and having nuffin to say! (Really, I’m not as creepy as I just made myself sound…)
I feel bad that I was unable to participate– this sounds totally different from the DC meetups, so it would have been interesting, to say the least. I promise that my ankle is seriously injured and only something like that, which dramatically affects my mobility, would keep me away.
So.
The next time one of you in DC rolls your eyes when I make you do the obligatory/traditional icebreaker (yeah, that word makes me cringe, too, but suck it up, buffy)/introduction at Amma’s Vegetarian, I’m going to mutter something under my breath and raise a chappal, all Auntie-ishtyle. Hell, I make people re-introduce themselves, when a new batch of latecomers arrives even though it’s mildly annoying to listen to me screech “Everybody, SHUT UP…okay, now starting with Coffeeface a.k.a. Paneer Dosa, go around and state your name and SM handle…AGAIN!” 😀
What am I saying, it’s majorly annoying to listen to me screech anything. But it gets the job done. I want people to know whom they’re meeting and I want them to have a great time. I also go out of my way to speak to each attendee and thank them for lurking, commenting and most of all taking the time to show up when they could be doing a million better things in DC. I am no longer vaguely ashamed of my control-freak proclivities and micro-managing of events; I am also wondering if meetups which attract more than 25-30 people (what we seem to be averaging down here) are a bad idea.
I guess this, more than anything else, proves that the Mutiny is not homogeneous. I do my meetups one way, others obviously have their own methods for madness. Also, DC’s readers seem very different from NYC’s, especially with regards to expectations and reactions.
After a lifetime of being shut out by desi cliques, I’m disturbed that some of you felt unwelcome or snubbed at Verlaine– and if any of my DC attendees have experienced similar, I want to know immediately, so I can apologize. To say that an event that I am even tangentially associated with reminds people of Netcrap is more insulting than reminding me that I was once a College Republican. Ouch, that stings, and it also makes me sad.
I imagine there’s a higher-than-average minority of non-drinkers like me who read SM but prefer to meet-n-greet (-n-eat!) in more of a restauarant/food trough setting than a bar. I wish Siddartha had more vigorously pursued that Sepia Culinary restauarant meetup series thing he proposed last year. Anyway, glad y’all had a good time Saturday night!
I should be there 🙂
I won’t be. 🙁 And as depressing as that is, I’m even more forlorn that I won’t get to go home, since it’s been an entire year since I’ve gratefully gazed at traffic through Greco’s window, slept in my childhood bed, kissed my Godsons, etc. I hate my effing ankle.
Awwww A N N A, we shall gaze at the traffic for you and maybe take some pictures 🙂 Though I must tell you, its been GORGEOUS in SF these past few days.
Instead of nametags, how about names tattoed in Hindi on our forearms, like you-know-who.
Ok, OK, with 60-70 attendees were there any gender revelations , you know comments like – ‘from your comments, i assumed you were a guy, maybe a centaur, or summin’ 🙂
Unwelcome? Snubbed? What the… Who said anything like this other than Zen? Some people write some crowds off based on their own stereotype-alarm-system. People seemed to be having a good time. Zen, if you are above 16 yrs of age, you’d know that there’s no avoiding snobs anywhere and that the right thing to do is simply to move on to another group. I can vouch for the fact that I met some pretty down-to-earth people. Why brand the whole crowd or the host?
Kurma, it appears that my lesst than sycophantic post offended you, but if you read comment 8, you’d realize there was no bitterness on my part. As far as I can tell, one of the hosts didn’t take offense either. He correctly pointed out it was my wish to present a “different take” on the event and the day there’s no room for that here would be the right time to “move on to another group.”
Vinod and zen – thanks for your respective writeups. Definitely a slight differentiation in tone/opinion there, but appreciate the varying viewpoints.
yes, what was Razib like? aka the 8 incher ABD Bangladeshi nordiccist.
LA/Socal meetup?
Zen, I am grateful that you did a write-up of the meetup in New York. As someone who couldn’t attend, I obviously wanted to read all about everything. 🙂 It’s also fantastic and rare to get a reader’s point of view of the festivities, so your post was extra valuable, in that respect.
No one wants you to be dishonest, nor do we hope for anything “sycophantic“, but there’s a wide space between boot-licking obsequiousness and accusations of fake, elitist, annoying, smarminess etc. Smarmy elitists have feelings, too, and they read your post just like the rest of us did, not that you intended to hurt others by your observations. It is possible to say, “eh, it wasn’t all that” neutrally…and when you figure out how to do that, kindly let me know, since I’m getting in trouble for that shit, all the time. 😉
Thanks for recognizing my attempts at “warmth and hospitality”, your words were very kind. I don’t think I’ve ever been called a “celebutante” before. 🙂
Having said that, I am concerned about your, Rani’s, Brian’s and Jeet’s takes on these events, because you are all regulars whose comments make this space as good as it is. I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t a bit wounded, to read such words from people whom I respect so much; it was like a strike to the solar plexus. We plow every spare moment of our waking hours in to this project and give it all that we can, in the hopes that SM could be the exact OPPOSITE of what you and your commenters discussed. Guess we have a lot of work to do.
No Desh, you may have appreciated this comment which was posted elsewhere:
[deleted]
But I didn’t. That’s a personal flame, now that it is here. Please don’t do that. Leave your appreciation where you saw that vs. transplanting nastiness here.
As for YOU Vivo:
If you are the same person I met at a DC meetup, you might find it ironic that I deleted an even nastier comment left about you afterwards, several months ago, before you could see it, for the same reason I’m speaking up angrily now. Not nice.
How about we all stop being assholes? Or I can shut this thread down. Your choice.
anna – feel free to delete/edit my comment.
very cool. that’s some foresight on his parents’ part…
despite some bad reviews, i’m disappointed not to have made it. though knowing that ANNA, camille, puli et al. did not either makes me feel a bit better:)
Done. Thank you so much for
a) responding so quickly and
b) helping me keep things civil.
I really appreciate it. 🙂
This thread is like a college ISA flashback. Fishbowl, backbiting, pointless drama. Is everyone here still 14 or what? Let\’s bury this and move on.
How about some constructive feedback about meetups in general, until we hear from other NYC attendees?
Nina raised an interesting point– is there a preference re: where we hold them? Are restaurants better than bars? I just realized that bars/lounges may be suboptimal because readers may not be drinkers…and shyer types may avoid such venues.
I’ve said it before, but the reason why I host meetups at Heritage and Amma’s in DC and Greco in SF, is because I have relationships with the management of all of the above– which makes it possible to linger if not take over the entire place, with limited interference and maximum contentment. I’m always nervous about NYC meetups b/c I don’t have similar relationships there; space is always an issue, it’s cramped, restaurant owners are probably even more obsessed with getting diners in and out, etc. And the alternative, i.e. holding a meetup at someone’s home, is difficult, b/c most people live in super cozy spaces. So unless it’s a picnic, like last summer, I stress about logistics. Maybe NY meetups should happen in Queens or NJ? 😉
A N N A et al, there is a new Indian (veg + non-veg) restaurant in midtown West/Times Square/Hell’s Kitchen that is good but hasn’t developed big crowds yet; the management seems nice, I’d gladly ask them if they could accommodate (or would appreciate) a meetup there. It’s called SpiceFusion (8th Ave. and 47th/48th); has anyone else tried it? I’d suggest everyone’s favorite Saravaanas but it’s always packed. The delicious Saravaana Bhavan Dosa Hut has a largeish back room that might accommodate a meetup, they’re also fairly friendly and could be asked in advance. I’m happy to do the asking.
It’s hard to get a vibe on a group as large as we had–the biggest NYC meetup I’ve attended. I think a lot of the perceived weirdness would not happen if we just had these things more often. The groups will be smaller, there won’t big some big expectation of the Annual New York Meetup, and people will get to know each other continually. It’s nice to see people face to face. Let’s do more of it.
I’m more likely to show up at a restaurant than a bar as I don’t drink. But I doubt if a Boston meetup is in the offing. (hint, hint) 🙂
There is also the part about loud music.
My 2 paisas, Restaurants/ coffee places are always much better because you have a longer time to mull over the food, spend lesser money and in most cases, people get to spend an extended amount of time talking. And for people who do not drink coffee, there is always chai 🙂
kurma & lady were very cool. we met up, shot the shit, and went and had mexican food at a place where we couldn’t understand the help 😉 very nice meeting everyone else! i asked several east asian patrons of the wine bar what part of india their families were from. very fun.
i don’t go to meet ups often, but the wine bar might have been just a tad upscale in terms of loosening up people that didn’t know each other. i talked to some people, but it wasn’t as big of an issue for me since i knew v-man and vij-man. but i wonder if the biggest issue was spatial, the wine bar was kind of stretched out, so you could only interact with those in front, or behind, you. and as the more “exotic” blonde indians (i’m assuming kashmiri???) started showing out it got harder to get some brown-time in.
hey anna, did you get my email about coming to D.C. tomorrow???
On the contrary… at restaurants those who don’t eat/drink a lot or eat veg(an) often end up paying more than they ate. I know, I know, we’re adults, suck it up. But it’s easier to handle your own finances at a bar. [And FYI I usually drink a lot 😉 and eat meat.]
It’s about birthday parties, but still: You Do the Math.
P.S. NYC is NYC, DC is DC, SF is SF. It’s ridiculous to think that meet ups in any of the cities would be the same. It’s not just about venues or hosts. It’s about the people who go to them. Duh.
Tamasha,
I would NEVER say that to a mutineer! Not after writing what I linked to next!
It’s about Vegetarians, but still. 😉
::
FWIW, at DC meetups, everyone pays for whatever they ordered, nothing more. We don’t do that “Let’s just split it” bullshit. That’s why there’s always a picture of me smiling, with a pile o’ cash I just counted thrice, because aside from one notable, long-ago exception, we have always had enough to cover the bill AND a tip of 20% or more.
I’ve gone to plenty of lunch/dinner parties in restaurants with friends, acquaintances and co-workers, and we almost always pay for what we order – unless someone is treating. I would never suck up to subsidizing other people’s cold-drinks or high-priced entrées or desserts, nor do I expect others to subsidize what I order. It’s only fair. 🙂
Achtung- sniveling sentimentality ahead:
Once upon a time, when this website was younger, whether we were meeting in DC, SF or NYC, the people were remarkably similar– they had this site in common; that’s what I can testify to after attending more meetups than almost anyone else in the bunker.
I know, I know…it’s different now, we’re older, bigger, impersonal, things change…suck it up and shut up, etc.
More than any other mutineer, I’ve felt that meetups were critical to building this community– if you have met someone and had tea with them IRL, you were less likely to flame them OR tolerate someone else flaming them. Sometimes, the worst thing about the internet is the anonymity…people aren’t accountable for their drive-by shittiness. That’s what made us different/better than regular “desi message boards”– credibility and accountability. I knew things had changed when people stopped linking to email addies via their handle. Oh, vell…