A quick thanks to all the folks who showed up last Saturday evening for the SM / UB joint meetup. A N N A’s ankle precluded her attendance (get well!) but long time mega-commentor Razib was one of several surprise guests for the evening.
Festivities were scheduled to start @ 5pm but more than just moi + Manish suffered from IST – Verlaine only opened its doors @ 6pm so a few of us socialized outside for a bit. While Verlaine had initially planned to allocate a small corner up front, our numbers swelled and by peak hour our >>50 folks occupied the entire front half of the venue (“we don’t die, we multiply”). Including in&out flow of peeps, I’d guesstimate we had close to 70 people over the course of the evening. About 15 folks survived till about 10pm when a few of us broke off to grab dinner @ the Mexican place next door.
I did my best to circulate and say hello, make a few intro’s and the like but alas, there were quite a few folks I didn’t get a chance to connect with. Still, I was a bit surprised by the number of lurkers + not-quite-regular readers I met. I sorta expected some of the regulars but was duly impressed with the folks who drove up from Philly, NJ, LI and other places to partake in some desi camraderie despite hitting the blog perhaps once or 2x a month. Wild stuff.
Pictures? Well, fotog extraordinaire, Preston Merchant has a few snaps up on his site and Ultrabrown host Manish Vij has a few more picts + commentary over here. Neither of them quite have the one pict that conveyed the scale of the event but it’s a fun browse nevertheless. Any attendees – would love to hear your take in the comments.
Off we go to San Francisco.
Ummmm–I understand the concerns I’ve seen on this and other topics about getting screwed over by “splitting the bill”–but, if that’s the “local” norm, why do we have do dis-respect it so–I mean, if I were in China I would go along with their norms about paying for the bill–I think balking at this “splitting equally” norm may hold us back here–I certainly go along with it and don’t think myself less desi for doing so.
Is it the local norm? 🙂 And I was specifically referring to meetups, since Tamasha brought up “getting screwed with the bill” as a “con” for the list we’re making about whether holding SM events at restaurants is a good idea. It’s relevant to mention how this has not been an issue in DC, in this particular discussion.
It’s great that you’re willing to go along with the “norms”. I don’t know if you’re a vegetarian or a teetotaler, but if you are not, and you are socializing with those who might be one or the other (or both), and you are all at a nice restaurant where “market price” is part of a dish’s description and the drinks average $14 a piece, if someone neither eats exorbitantly-priced seafood nor drinks cocktails, you might agree that it is a bit unfair for them to be expected to subsidize such choices.
I saw this addressed in one of the “younger” advice columns recently (Ask Amy?) and she didn’t seem so appalled at the idea of dividing the check in a more just manner. I think it’s just the courteous thing to do.
Anna,
Fair points–I guess I just wanted to suggest that there’s a cost to raising this issue in some circles– it goes against the grain badly–I guess I’m in favor of fighting where we can win–and–we’ve won some–so– no fundamental disagreement–perhaps just a different emphasis on where pressure is best applied….
P.S. NYC is NYC, DC is DC, SF is SF. It’s ridiculous to think that meet ups in any of the cities would be the same. It’s not just about venues or hosts. It’s about the people who go to them. Duh.
If there is ever a proper Philly meetup it will be in the dead of winter, preferably on a snowy day, and the venue will be an unfashionable diner under a highway overpass. Also, I will be assigning homework.
I anticipate this will be the biggest meetup ever! 😉
And if they shaft you over that badly on the bill–are they your friends…
35 oops sorry for the comment. didn’t realize a comment was made about me but whatever. didn’t mean for the comment to come out mean. more of a joking tone.
rob, I understand that we all make some compromises when being social, and it’s no big deal if it is a couple of dollars. But, this is one issue I feel strongly about, and I think people can (and should) speak up (if they want to, that is) without being militant about it. Also not everyone may be making the same amount of money. Keeping quiet and then grumbling about it to others is not healthy, IMO. If you are a vegetarian and a teetotaler, and happily pay more than your share (i.e. split the bill equally among all), then more power to you. 🙂
An idea – you could live telecast (Pocketcast) the meetups for those who cant make it. http://www.comvu.com – (need a phone with camera and internet connection as your broadcast station, and a free account on ComVu).
I’m a big fan of the nametag idea, because I’m a bit shy. Some name games to go along would be equally fun… I think bars are nice because people have the freedom to come and go as they please, and eating at tables isn’t super conducive to conversation, especially if they are long and rectangular tables. However a spacious bar that served food… like Botanica (kind of a dump, but a huge back room and you can order good food from the restaurant above it) is always a good time, and chill.
At Houston and LA meetups everyone gets crunk so nametags aren’t always necessary. We do play icebreakers that involve your underwear though.
note to self…wear clean undies that day
I was at the NY meetup and it was basically my first one–because of that I think it took me a little while to get into the swing of starting up conversations. I think it’s a little like the first week of college, when everyone is meeting everyone and you just get used to talking to someone you have never met before–with me almost ten years out of college its not something that comes so naturally anymore. I’m guilty of just sitting in one spot and talking to people that I already knew or friends that came with me. I figure at the next meet-up it will be a little easier.
I personally liked the informal nature of the meet-up, if you were feeling social you could be social and if you weren’t, you could just kind of sit-back–there wasn’t any pressure to make yourself talk to someone (although I guess maybe some people would argue that’s exactly what you need). I didn’t think anyone was snobby, just maybe a little awkward and unsure of how to interject oneself into a conversation.
It was nice to meet people.
To everyone I met–hi, and if I didn’t get a chance to say bye I apologize–my friends and I left pretty quickly.
Thanks to Vinod and Manish for hosting–I’ve been curious about going to one and I finally got the opportunity.
Just as a further suggestion–perhaps it would be good to build a meet-up around an event, i.e., a new play, a movie screening, a free concert (I actually think you guys did do that once), or something like that–that way there would be an immediate ice breaker as people shared an experience watching or doing something. I know that it’s hard enough with your schedules but that might help with creating a more “social” atmosphere.
Zen, I truly wish I had been there — the meetup was one of the things I was looking forward to the most this month (it also would have included a weekend in NYC with my college friends, which would have been really great). I had forgotten that the 18th was the day I was schedule to move from my summer sublet to my apartment. BUT, the reason I couldn’t make it to the meet up was because of moving-related interpersonal drama. Believe me, I would have much rather been meeting the wonderful semi-strangers who frequent the Mutiny in one of my favorite places in the world (NYC). It’ll happen one day, just maybe not this August 🙂
Amit, I moved this past June/July from the Yay to Connecticut for work.
I actually quite like bars (especially if they are of the tapas variety!), but it depends on how loud the joint is. It can be a bit unwieldy to navigate 50+ strangers in a restaurant. I am also a huge fan of coffee shop type venues (a la D.C.’s Tryst) where you have the option of light desserts, drinks, and coffee in the evening.
Preston, I think you’re right on. I know in the past some of the infrequency has been because of the Mutineers busy lives. So I have a question — current mutineers (and guest blogger mutineers), how would you all feel if others helped coordinate more frequent regional meetups? I honestly don’t think they’d be successful unless they seemed specifically SM-affiliated, but it would kind of help build community but also disperse the responsibility so that you all aren’t scrambling to cram the logistics of meet-ups into your already overbooked schedules. Or am I just talking out of the side of my head?
Amardeep, if that’s the case I’ll come bring you hot chocolate 🙂 [assuming that this does not offend the unfashionable diner-istas]
Zen, this made me smile. Are we really so bad? 🙂
But, many NYC meetups have been quite large. Maybe it was the venue–a dark, semi-trendy LES bar isn’t as inviting as a coffee shop or Kati Roll Company? (I don’t necessarily agree; I am just theorizing.)
I agree.
I had a blast. It was great catching up with folks from the last meet-up & finally meeting the charming Mr.Vij who delights with his stories. I thought Vinod was the ever efficient host, flitting in & out of conversations & brokering connections.
This was my 2nd meet-up in a similar setting and I personally liked the laid back aspect to it. You could be a fly on the wall or a social butterfly & circulate easily.
In a sit down restaurant type setting with so large a cast, one could miss out on amusing stories & anecdotes depending on where you sit and what your neighbours are drinking – just my 2 cents.
To make it painfully obvious, no, of course not! 🙂
Has any of these meetups led to strangers clicking enough to go home together? Not that it should be the only metric of success.
Try standard icebreaker techniques:
Before you flame me for being corny… remember it’s hard to host a party when you don’t know who is coming or who the guests are (for the most past).
not sure if the meetups are THAT good….
he he. i’m not putting anything past SMers. maybe some have even gone home together without the aid of a large meet-up 🙂
going from being a comlete stranger to b*nging over the course of an SM meetup takes a bit of finesse me thinks…
I’m sure people meet people they date. 🙂 Not that I think this is a broad trend, and I’m totally pulling this out of my ass since I’ve never been to a meet up, but how can you put 50+ desis together without SOME shaadi.com-style dating action? Not possible 😉
Zen, =)
good point….
SM meetup horoscope edition
hey baby, whats your gothram?
shudder
” he he. i’m not putting anything past SMers. maybe some have even gone home together without the aid of a large meet-up 🙂 “
That’s something! I should spend more time here and work on my Camille crush then.
On that note, I am having a party at my place in Houston this Friday (I know, I’m shameless). 🙂 It is NOT an official meet-up because I will not have name-tags but Houston SMers are welcome if they email me since I know that we haven’t had a meet-up in months and are overdue.
remember it’s hard to host a party when you don’t know who is coming or who the guests are (for the most past).
That is true, and thanks for mentioning it.
party at abhi’s! WOO HOO!
Wow, I’m going to be in the Texas this weekend! But I’ll be in Dallas for a brown-brown wedding… I would have loved to meet Party Abhi 😉
Yes. And that’s all you’re getting out of me. 🙂 Akka observes all, but wisely, does not divulge. 😉
So mysterious. And are we sure all you do is observe? 😉
Good to know. I can’t wait to come at the next meetup in NYC.
Thanks, but I would try not to open with any lines re: hetereosexual anal coitus 😉
ok, puli, let’s put in a little practice before you attend the next meetup, awkwardness be damned. this is a hypothetical role playing exercise.
you: hey baby, whats your gothram? her: i don’t have a gothram, a-hole. you: ______________________________ (fill in the blank)
😉
what was the “detrius level” at the last nyc meetup?
that is ok. ve are of berry liberal mindset. no gothram ok. just no Manglik please.
manglik
meh. i don’t think i can make the sf meetup now. i’m getting married soon and the onus of bridal preparation is beginning to make itself uncomfortably felt.
hmmm, perhaps we should consider a massive meetup from all corners of the globe? conference style, supplemented by plenty of drinking games, bollywood films, and dosas? just like a virtual version of the blog, sans all the browbeating disguised as intellectual debate! 🙂 it could be a multi-day extravaganza! hellz, i would be there.
Are there any plans for a Toronto meetup?
Satya, if that happened there is no way in hell, on earth, or in another planetary system that I would go 🙂 When is your wedding happening (congrats!)?
See, for me, Camille, it’s gotta be either complete chaos or nothing at all. The idea of a diminutive soiree in which one is compelled to make nice and (shudder) actually socialize gives me heart palpitations. My occasional bouts of shyness render me quite inarticulate in the presence of strangers, which I think makes people mistakenly consider me little more than a pretty cipher. A vestige of my adolescence that I’ve yet to cast off, I suppose. 🙂
Oh yeah, I’m getting married in September, but I’m not having the opulent, 500-person gala that my parents refuse to throw me, anyway. I’m smart like that. 🙂
evil abhi: come back to LA from Houston. The weather’s much better over here and we need meetups! the radio stations r better too
I thought the meet up in general was good — granted I left around 7:30, but for the most part I met tons of new people and everyone I spoke with was very friendly. I think most people bake in a certain level of awkwardness into their expectations simply because meetups are so infrequent causing most people to look unfamiliar. I would echo previous sentiments that we should have more meet up. If anything, it would take this vibrate online community and create a great real life network–
Abhi:
No Texas meetup in September, please. I am not in Texas all month :-(.
If the public is calling for more meetups, I think it’s fair to the bloggers that the public shoulder the organization so that month to month, venue to venue, SM becomes a traveling blob. Might lose a few, might gain a few but the blob shape remains.
I had a blast. I thought it was as good as the one from last year. I think that a SEPIA dinner for the next meetup would be awesome. As to the dating at the meetup, I’ll admit I did meet a very nice, intellegient, attractive SM guy last year and we dated for a bit.
Going by his pictures from this meeting one would think that he would be an afro-centrist rather than a nordicist:)