Will "Clergy Response Teams" be inclusive enough?

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Louisiana’s local news station KSLA had a rather intriguing headline last week. In a television news report they made the claim that the Department of Homeland Security is currently training members of local clergies to help out is some capacity should the Executive Branch ever declare Martial Law within the United States:

Could martial law ever become a reality in America? Some fear any nuclear, biological or chemical attack on U.S. soil might trigger just that. KSLA News 12 has discovered that the clergy would help the government with potentially their biggest problem: Us…

If martial law were enacted here at home, like depicted in the movie “The Siege”, easing public fears and quelling dissent would be critical. And that’s exactly what the ‘Clergy Response Team’ helped accomplish in the wake of Katrina.

Dr. Durell Tuberville serves as chaplain for the Shreveport Fire Department and the Caddo Sheriff’s Office. Tuberville said of the clergy team’s mission, “the primary thing that we say to anybody is, ‘let’s cooperate and get this thing over with and then we’ll settle the differences once the crisis is over.'”

Such clergy response teams would walk a tight-rope during martial law between the demands of the government on the one side, versus the wishes of the public on the other. “In a lot of cases, these clergy would already be known in the neighborhoods in which they’re helping to diffuse that situation,” assured Sandy Davis. He serves as the director of the Caddo-Bossier Office of Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness.

For the clergy team, one of the biggest tools that they will have in helping calm the public down or to obey the law is the bible itself, specifically Romans 13. Dr. Tuberville elaborated, “because the government’s established by the Lord, you know. And, that’s what we believe in the Christian faith. That’s what’s stated in the scripture…” [Link]

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p>It should be noted that KSLA was just the latest to reveal information/rumors about this program. A few other websites on the internet (of varying authority and reliability) mention other details:

A whistleblower who was secretly enrolled into the program told us that the feds were clandestinely recruiting religious leaders to help implement Homeland Security directives in anticipation of a potential bio-terrorist attack, any natural disaster or a nationally declared emergency… It was stressed that the Pastors needed to preach subservience to the authorities ahead of time in preparation for the round-ups and to make it clear to the congregation that “this is for their own good.”

Pastors were told that they would be backed up by law enforcement in controlling uncooperative individuals and that they would even lead SWAT teams in attempting to quell resistance. [Link]

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p>I just want to state for the record that I am all in favor of preaching subservience to the government after some horrible attack, and the idea of a department in the Executive Branch empowering a army volunteer corp of religious soldiers counselors seems like a reasonable and practical idea to me (if this is all true). Faith-based initiatives rock! Can I just request though that we get some Hindu priests into the ranks of these Clergy Response Teams? I mean, I’m sure that Romans 13 kicks ass and all but how about a little book called the Bhagavad Gita that centers around proper conduct during an actual battle. It even explains when it is OK to kill someone. Let’s stop being politically correct and just shoot straight here. Hindu priests have had a couple of millenia more experience quelling the masses than Christian priests have had. Have you ever seen how subservient ABD brides and grooms are at weddings? The priest could just make shit up on the spot and they’d do it.

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p>Now I know that some of our Muslim readers are like WTF Abhi? Why is SM always so pro-Hindu? Why aren’t you advocating that we include Imams as part of the Clergy Response Teams also? Let’s just be honest. After the U.S. declares Martial Law they will all probably be hiding.

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23 thoughts on “Will "Clergy Response Teams" be inclusive enough?”

  1. Scary You-tube clip–the gov’t can’t legally suspend constitutional rights, tho, right?

  3. Have you ever seen how subservient ABD brides and grooms are at weddings? The priest could just make shit up on the spot and they’d do it.

    Maybe the bride and groom, but never the guests!

  6. Sorry–that was just my reaction to the clip–feel free to delete if it’s OT.

    I was joking dude! Get it?? You weren’t sounding subservient in your first comment. 🙂

  9. needed to preach subservience to the authorities ahead of time in preparation for the round-ups

    dude, wtf?

    abhi, i’m glad that you’re harnessing the hindu culture in a way that is more digestible and amenable to american understanding. plus, i was getting a bit sick of hindus talking about how ‘peaceful’ we are – better we start emphasizing the bhagavad gita, RSS and such-like aspects of the religion 🙂

    btw, rob, it totally can happen – when it comes down to stuff like this, it seems like there actually is no substantial check against the executive branch 🙁 maybe the USSC should start creating its own comparable armed forces – scalis can be the c-in-c!

  11. Pastors needed to preach subservience to the authorities ahead of time in preparation for the round-ups and to make it clear to the congregation that “this is for their own good.”

    Preaching subservience is what the churches did well during antebellum slavery. The wolves in shephards clothing pastors will do what they do best. Line their own pockets while selling out their flock and leading them to the slaughter. There once was a time (before I was born, I hear)when some church leaders used to be civil rights leaders too. They’d encourage people to protest against military force, police brutality and government laws they didn’t agree with, even when faced with dogs, batons and firehoses.

    I guess the upside of martial law is that we won’t have to worry about that pesky ‘ol separation of church and state anymore…

  15. america had a really good run for the last 200 years. looks like its coming to a close over the next 50 by the look of things…

  16. I personally believe that this is more of an elaborate prank article. But if the Feds want anyone to preach obedience, they seem to have chosen well. Who better to drive the sheep than the guys who talk about shepherds all day long?

  17. put the word faith in something, and people are willing to give up their liberties, accept murder and basically let you do anything possible. The clergy can pretty much convince the gullible masses to do anything

  18. Sounds like a scene from V for Vendetta or The Handmaid’s Tale. I know people think I’m crazy, but it’s moments like this when I feel woeful that we’re slipping towards a dictator-esque state.

  20. Lemurians: In case of marauding padres/parsons/imams/pandits/bhikkus/witches, find shelter at the base of Mount Shasta. I’ll be waiting there with 50 gallon drums of Costco peanut butter & jelly and truckload of Fig Newtons. I’ll help sire the Kingdom of New Lemuria if required

  22. And of course we all see how well it worked in New Orleans. There wasn’t any looting or rioting at all. In fact, everyone was so busy getting along and singing Kumbiya in the AstroDome (in which there were no rapes at all) to notice the “heckuva job” that Brownie was doing. Brilliant! Onward ho with this Iraq calliber of genius strategy.

    On a different note, I wonder what the religious leaders see as their incentive for participating? If it’s purely optional then it seems that the ones who were probably already preaching about the Lord creating the US government or whatever, will be the ones opting in.

  23. Indians need to get away from respect for Ghandi, ahimsa, and start thinking like Chandra Bose. Yes! separate church from State.