Gustavo Arellano runs a nationally syndicated column titled “Ask a Mexican” which began three years ago (first as a joke) in the OC Weekly. A while back, over the tip-line, someone suggested we run a similar column. I think it’s a good idea. I think I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna be the “Desi” with the answers. So…if you have any questions for a Desi (or Indian, South Asian, whatever you prefer) I am now your man. Send them my way at abhi [at] sepiamutiny dot com. I will try to answer at least one question a week and I will only tackle questions sent via email and not via the comments. I will more than likely ask my bunker mates to opine on certain inquiries, especially if they are more qualified desis for a particular question. To get you in the mood, here is the latest “Ask a Mexican” column:
Q: Is it true that there are a lot more Mexicans hooking up with East Indians now? I know a few mixed Mexican-Indian couples, and I’ve heard that in some parts of the country, there are communities full of Mexican Hindus (products of Mexican-East Indian intermarriage). Is it true that this is a rising trend? If so, do you have any advice for young Indian-Americans interested in attracting Mexican girls or guys?
–El Otro Tipo de Indio
A: Dear Other Type of Indian: I try not to answer questions about interethnic amor (that’s more of a Dan Savage thing), but I’ll run yours because it allows me to plug Making Ethnic Choices: California’s Punjabi Mexican Americans. This fascinating 1994 ethnography by University of California Irvine anthropology professor Karen Leonard studies Mexican women in the United States who married men from the Punjab region of what’s now India and Pakistan during the first half of the 20th century. There are muchos similarities between Mexican and Punjabi cultures — a love of flatbreads (tortillas and rotis), spicy cuisine and loud, drum-based music (banda and bhangra, respectively) — but Leonard concludes that American immigration policies barring most Asian women from entering this country inspired many of the unions, and that both Mexican and Indian-American communities (never mind the gabachos) discriminated against these families… [Link]
Please, ask this macaca all kinds of questions and not just cheesy relationship questions. I just want to heal. Like Dr. Phil. Or Frasier Crane.
I’m going to guess that the more conservative-types here (MD, Vikram, Manju) are gonna love that answer!
My cousins are mexican-desi and their chicano mom makes the best biriyani and all but they sadly don’t have cool mixed names (like “Jorge Varghese” or “Juanita Menon” or “Pico Iyer” — how sad he isn’t one). What’s the point of cross-cultural marriages if you don’t give your kids cool mixed names.
It was Neale! (who suggested “Ask a Mexican”, desi-style). I still love the original topic.
Abhi, will you tackle issues like taxi drivers, spicy food, acronyms, and bindis? I’m excited. 🙂
You know, I’ve read about the mixed Mexican-Punjabi marriages of the early 1900s before and I’ve always wondered about their descendants, etc. I haven’t read the thesis, but does anyone know any more about that? It would be so interesting to hear their stories, what they know about their great (great-great?) grandparents and their heritage and what traditions, Mexican or Indian, are still in their family, etc.
Thanks to the magic of internets, I sorta answered my own question with this article written by the author of that paper: http://www.sikhpioneers.org/cpma.html
from the article:
In California, furious abuelitas used to accuse me of forgetting my language and denying my heritage while I feebly tried to convince them that I wasn’t Mexican. “Soy de la India,” I’d say, but they’d waggle a finger and continue to lecture me en Espanol. Meanwhile, in the fledgling Bengali Bay Area community, marrying a Mexican ranked oh-so-slightly above marrying an African-American. Here’s the old order of racial preference as far as I can remember: (1) Bengali of the right caste (2) Bengali, caste no bar (3) Non-Bengali Indian (4) White (5) Other ethnicity except for (6) Mexican and (7) Black — with some minor changes when you factor in education, class, and religion. Have things changed?
inothernews: Check out Roots in the Sand, a PBS documentary about the Mexijabi population in California.
Nope.
Camille, Dang! Now I feel stalked 🙂
I loved this post…of course I can totally relate! I’m 1st generation American, Latina. My husband is Sikh born and raised in India, and our boys are mexi-desi so at home we speak Spindi! Seriously, our kids hardly speak English and are very fluent in Spindi. But they are only three. Funny thing is, when we are in Latin-America no one EVER speaks to me in Spanish and assume my husband is the Spanish speaker. And, when in an Indian setting, people speak to me in Urdu–nevermind he is the one speaking Hindi.
Anyway…
To El Otro Tipo de Indio: I don’t know about a “rising trend” but we do know a lot of “spindi” couples. I think it’s just a result of being in California…inevitable. But if you really want to make that Spanishfly your Spanishlarkhi, be yourself. If she is remotely interested in anything Desi, she’ll be involved in the Hindustani stuff. Be yourself and don’t be shy, ask her out already! Watch the movie Latcho Drom…we have so much in common. Blame it on the Spice Trail and the Moors in Spain, history repeats itself, right? And in general, if the girl loves her own culture she will appreciate yours too. But if you value your culture and she’s running away from her own; watch out!
To DJ Drrrty Poonjabi: I scored major points with the Aunties in India for not being White, for knowing how to cook beans (err…dhal) and roll chapatis, for loving spicy food, and for holding my own in India. (Gracias Mama and Papa for taking me back to the homeland as a kid, little did I know that would prepare me for India, and the social-idiosyncracies of very involved, extended families!)
I hope you do keep up the new topic, would love to learn more about this “new trend.” -A Los Angeles SpanishKuri
P.S. I highly recommend Octavio Paz’s “In Light of India” and perhaps that may shed a contemporary view of the Latino’s Hindustani assimilation.
trend?
race/ethnicity of husbands & wives of 2nd and 1.5 gen indian brownz
Husbands
Asian Indians 69.2 Other Asians 3.7 Whites 20.5 Blacks 1.7 Hispanics/Latinos 4.3
Wives
Asian Indians 69.9 Other Asians 4.1 Whites 21.1 Blacks 2.5 Hispanics/Latinos 1.6
cite: http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial2.shtml
p.s., the above data was derived form the census 2000 sets.
i got that book above when i won some high school award back in the day through some indian community scholarship… weird to see it on SM 14 years later….no, didn’t read it.. although was fascinated by the punjabi-mexican roots.. i never knew about it, until then..
It’s a great combination. I’m looking for a Brazilian wife.
Actually, quite a few Iranians seem to have picked themselves Latino chicas in the Texas region…i don’t know whether it’s a skin thing or the green card thing.
DJ Drrrty Poonjabi
This one is awesome! I remember being fascinated when watching it – almost as enthused as when I met desis with hype Caribbean accents!
‘Actually, quite a few Iranians seem to have picked themselves Latino chicas in the Texas region…i don’t know whether it’s a skin thing or the green card thing‘
Latina chicas… Anyway, maybe la chica es muy intelligente, muy chistosa and mucho fine.
the kids must be gorgious. a lot of times mixed kids are.
Coach, I think you pressed numero dos on your comment.
In any case, your remark reminds me of this delightful host.
Please. Mixed kids hate this stereotype of being called gorgeous.
really? i would think most people would like a positive chache attatched to them. meh. whatever. fine.
SM techheads, can I please get an irony button for my browser?
Is that a Cali/NY thing? I used to get that a lot there. Never in Texas though. They seem to know their browns well. Brilliant deduction based on sample size 1, btw.
a lot of food service types in ny speak to me in spanish. unfortnately no habla anything.
“Which we so eloquently express by The linked text booing and taunting American beauty queens and soccer teams invited to our country”
Abhi, I know you said questions only over e-mail, but I propose a genre of questions: “Which is better?”.
Suggested topics:
There, that should keep you busy for a while. Let the education begin.
Actually Texas is booming with Mexican-American/Indian-American couples. I should know, I have 3 in my family and all 3 met and married in TX, majority of them in Houston. I will say that there are a lot of cultural similarities, but clearly the religions associated with each couldn’t be more polar opposite. Perhaps not polar opposites, but different enough that it causes huge amounts of tension within the family. Not that all couples of different religious backgrounds don’t deal with that, though.
All in all, one of the funniest moments of my life will still be when my grandparents met my future aunt’s parents. Nani and Nana meet Abuelita y Abuelito. That would be the low budget version of Meet the Parents!
Will there be dramatic music, buxom babes, and long duration close-ups on the faces of shocked actors?
In California, furious abuelitas used to accuse me of forgetting my language…
I don’t know if that’s limited to California. I’ve had it happen to me in the Midwest even. I routinely take public transport to work, and people often try to talk to me in Spanish. When I point out that I “no hablo espanol”, it’s always greeting with a withering look that suggests “oh, so jou too good for us now!”
I figure it would just be too complicated to explain that I’m Indian, and not the kind from Red Lake either.
Dont mean to threadjack, but not a peep on the Spelling bee??? what gives?
Of course, there would be all of the above! But unfortunately production will have to halt on song-and-dance number 19 as siesta time will have been long overdue….seriously, though, telenovelas are like somewhat distant relatives of Bollywood. So trust that there wouldn’t be any shortage of uncomfortably long-winded closeups on the face of Shah Rukh Gutierrez.
Here’s what gives– we put up whatever posts we can, i.e. what we have time to do. If we don’t post about something, it’s not a reflection of anything other than harried schedules, I promise. Some posts take longer than others, I have averaged about 30 mins for everything I’ve done lately. Other posts, especially ones which make me emotional (like Karishma Dhanak/the Anaheim tragedy) take me longer. I’ve been writing that post since yesterday.
And there we have it, my first “Ask a Desi” answer.
Dont mean to threadjack, but not a peep on the Spelling bee???
I don’t want to be cynical/mean, but what’s the big deal about the spelling bee anyway? Spelling is not a talent, it’s a learned skill, and anyone can learn to do it. Furthermore, it’s not even a particularly useful skill, because almost everyone will have access to some sort of spell-checking tool.
I appreciate the amount of time these kids spend prepping for the spelling bee (especially considering the obscurity of the words they learn), but I can think of at least ten more useful things they could be doing with their time.
Your right. Their you have it, folks.
Many talents are learned skills.
Rahul, was that a joke?
i learned how to play the piano over the course of 2 decades. spending time sharpening some part of your mind most others dont isnt a bad thing. i think you can learn alot studying for a spelling bee. improves vocabulary, etc. also a good way to get some discipline in your kids life. thats the main thing i got out of the piano.
Well, I guess I should be glad I peaked your interest.
in a mixed religion marriage, what religion do the kids usually turn out as?
Gracias for the kind words, abhi. Yes: please rip off my idea! And I’ll be sending you a question soon for this topic!
I agree, although, this guy’s father is one scary mother f#$@(#cker.
As penance, I’m going to make you spell Darjeeling right now! His failure caused the starvation of the thousand or so homeless people who were going to be fed as a quid pro quo to the gods.
Is it really true that “Bengali, caste no bar” > “Non-Bengali Indian,” even if of the right caste? That’s kind of heartening in a weird way.
I think thats the case in my community as well. i their minds north indians are just “too different”. “not like us” etc.
Many talents are learned skills.
Not really. You can improve on innate ability with learning and practice, but learning and practice aren’t substitutes for innate ability. I learned music for years, and while I know all the techniques and theory, I’ll never be a world class musician, because I never did have the talent for it. I also learned tennis for years, and while I certainly got better, there was really never any chance I was going to win Wimbledon.
That’s not true for spelling. Everyone can be a championship speller, with enough learning and practice. Everyone.
Everyone has talent, you just got to beat it out. To move forward and excel you have to really enjoy it.
There are muchos similarities between Mexican and Punjabi cultures — a love of flatbreads (tortillas and rotis), spicy cuisine and loud, drum-based music (banda and bhangra, respectively) And our/their women both have back. There I said it.
Speaking of the Spelling Bee, looks like Kunal Sah was eliminated. That’s too bad.
“Thwarted Scion of Hindu Nationalist Bristles at Rejection by Muslim-Influenced, Colonial Vocabulary”
I can’t find the link, but the Bancroft Library & South Asian Library at Cal put together this beautiful pictoral book on “early Indian immigrants,” and it has a TON on the early Punjabi (and UCB!) community, especially in the Central Valley, and largely with their (Latina) familias.
I think the PBS documentary is actually quite good. A lot of folks point to U.S. immigration as fueling this, but it’s interesting to see how this trend has “picked up” (or at least seems to have picked up) in the last 15 years. I definitely have cousins in the Central Valley who have married really wonderful, sweet Xicanas. I have a little cousin-nephew who speaks English, Punjabi, and Spanish — all really fluently!
Don’t be scurrred 🙂 I just remembered that a bunch of us (self included) had talked about that column, so I googled it. Is that still stalker-ish? Maybe I am e-stalking? Wow, open mouth insert foot!
I dunno, Shodan. I used to get the same reaction in Phoenix, but that was back when there were like 10 [desi] brown families (not the case today). I’ve also gotten that reaction in the South (??). Strangely, white people in AZ seemed to assume I was the other Indian instead. 🙂
Doesn’t it really depend on the family? I’ve met several mixed-religion families where the kids are Religion A or Religion B or neither.
I cannot believe we are discussing the spelling bee, whether spelling is a learned skill or talent, and whether it is a valuable skill (if a skill at all). !!!