Say THAT five times fast. Anyway, am I the only one who had a terribly silly Auntie refer to her kids’ naughty bits as their “shame shame”? Thankfully, my parents always said, “that…you know…” while vaguely nodding in my midsection’s general direction or “kundi“, which is optimal compared to what Silly-Auntie called it. Way to instill healthy feelings about one’s body, there. Obviously anything labeled “shame” is going to be thought of positively. Oh, wait. We’re desi. My bad.
Aside: At one of the best Kahani workshops ever hosted in DC, somehow one of the writing exercises (d)evolved in to a brief discussion of what one was taught to call their “shame shame”, after Turbanhead’s adorable youngest sibling read aloud her draft, which mentioned how she referred to that area as…wait for it…wait for it…
…her happy-no-no place.
Ah, I love wannabe fiction writers and their fantastically fecund minds. 😀
I swear I had a point…but it’s Friday and I’ve missed happy hour…what…was…I…OH YES! Shamita. Dear sweet Shamita. Shamita whom I had never heard of before yesterday, who is younger sister to the woman whose effigy was still a top-seller, as of last week. I’m referring to Big Brother star and Richard Gere-magnet Shilpa Shetty, of course.
Well, Shamita pulled a Britney, though in my day, it was called a Basic Instinct. She showed up somewhere all of two of you care about in a mini-dress without her chuddies on (Thanks, UberDesi). That’s the big deal. Hahaha. Now you know. Yo slick, blow.
While you do that, I’m going to ponder whatever happened to Bel, Biv and DeVoe and whether one should trust a big butt and a smile (I’m inclined to say yes, but I’m biased). Happy Weekend, y’all.
I’ve been insulted, maligned and appalled by many things said to me on this website, but this:
…was so out-of-line, I almost vomited. Are you sincerely comparing my rape to some Bollywood starlet forgetting to put her panties on and then lifting her dress for photographers? I didn’t choose to be assaulted. I didn’t deliberately choose to wake up with someone on top of me, with their hand covering my mouth to muffle my screams. Shamita chose to not wear underwear. She made a choice. She had a choice. I did not have a choice. No one asked, “would you like to be raped?”
Your statement is so awful, I hope you’re a troll, because I’d hate to think that nice people would see things the way you do. Shamita Shetty is a victim of sexual assault? Because she didn’t wear knickers and now that’s public? That’s an insult to rape survivors everywhere, as far as I and all logical, sensitive people are concerned.
I’m not the first person to report this and I won’t be the last. And what you conveniently overlook is how if anything, I paid scant attention to her– most of the post is about strange names for private parts and old R+B groups. It’s not like I condemned her for doing this. It’s filed under humour. It was just funny.
Why, because I’m required to stand in solidarity with someone who is sloppy with her wardrobe, just because we both have vaginas? And what are you implying, that it’s okay when MEN post about this? To me, if anything, it’s less creepy that I did it vs. one of the guys, especially since I sandwiched it between much more light-hearted and innocent stuff. But whatever. I’m done speaking with you and I hope YOU think about what you’ve said and done here– your sense of perspective desperately needs an adjustment.
::
The infamous “rape” post he referenced in a way that is wrong on so many levels is here.
Dad – evidently you equate the mere sight of a woman’s genitals with an invitation to sexual violence. THAT SPEAKS FRIGHTENING VOLUMES ABOUT YOU and says NOTHING about the person who posted this. I suggest you see a counsellor immediately, as you are probably an abuser-in-the-making. Either that or you are a male who is not yet reconciled to the fact that healthy female sexuality and freedom are NOT LINKED TO VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.
For the rest: I am sick and tired of this particular blogger’s past being thrown into her face and used to qualify every fucking thing she writes about. This is typical of the way women are abused, re-abused, and abused again. Have the goddamned grace to accept what she did as a gift to the South Asian community and leave it at that.
“Dad” – your post is poor on so many levels, it is not even worth elaborating on. But keep the torch flying, dude! If preserving our old fashioned values of honor and modesty require us to demean other people and strike low blows, such is the price we have to pay.
Are you kidding me? Dad, you have to compare apples with apples.
How could you equate both things?
What the **** were you thinking?
Would you be comparing what Shamita did to what Anna is suffering through, if Anna was your own daughter?
Red snapper, I will give him 5 more rounds, it looks like he is a klutz anyways. He just might need it.
Dad,
You are the kind of hypcoritical jerk that makes me ashamed that worthless idiots like you exist. Theres an as$hole moron like you in every city, in every function, in every family, obsessed with morality, with monitoring others and thinking that he has the right to offer patronizing stupid BS as advice. F**k it, if I were near you, I would have punched your lights out, for just being on the same planet as jerks like you. Dear sir, SOD OFF. And may you be a dad only in name, because your kids would be ashamed to have a klutz like you as their father. Oh meri beti ne apna shame shame dikha diya, log kya kahenge!
Unfortunately, Dad is doing something quite common (in many cultures) and his remarks are symptomatic of a larger problem. He is linking so-called ‘immodesty’ and mere images of a woman’s body with sexual violence. In other words, Dad belongs to the middle ages and thinks rape is primarily a sexual act and not an act about brutality and power. All over India you will hear things like ‘well, she was dressed like a prostitute and so she got attacked’ or ‘girls these days are so independent, when they are raped there is no one there to protect them’. Dad is from this backward school of thought.
clearly he never knew the benefits of going commando, or so my femme friends tell me…
and “dad”, do you advocate keeping the womenfolk barefoot and pregnant at all times too?
“dad” shame shame on you.
….
exactly!
um..yeah “dad” you just made yourself look like a “shame shame”
Dad, however misguided, I believe that you believe your heart was in the right place and you were coming from a place of compassion and respect for women. As you can see from the flurry of posts, our opinions differ. Fine. But in that last comment, you crossed the line with a highly inappropriate, insulting, and ignorant comparision. Please refrain from firing off another comment and take a little time to mull over what others have posted–and why you owe Anna an apology.
Anna, you are such an admirable soul. I’ve no doubt that you make YOUR dad, wherever he may be, proud every day. It’s conflict (e.g., when we’re under attack) that reveals true human nature, our true colors. And you prove time and again that you are made of very admirable stuff. It makes me smile to read how you handle the obstacles life throws you and to watch you grow.
Dad-
Please note the following: a victim of crime has nothing to be ashamed of. For example, if you are burglarized, there is no shame. If you are robbed or stabbed or shot, there is no shame. If you are a victim of an assault and battery, you have nothing to be ashamed about. If a murder takes place, no one is ashamed of the deceased. So why is a victim of rape supposed be ashamed? But that is exactly the basis of your statement in #46, isn’t it? … that a victim of rape should feel ashamed, and that because of her shame, she should have more empathy to another’s potential shame.
But none of us are ashamed of Anna. And obviously Anna is not ashamed of Anna. So really the only person who thinks Anna is ashamed of Anna is you. This is your own baggage.
Waiting for an apology.
so there is not a chance that this could have been an accident and not an indecent exposure? no benefit of doubt? OR so she stoops to the lowest level and what r u guys doing? giving her more publicity?
I took it that Dad was in solidarity with Shetty
there are ways to do that without trivializing violent rape. f**k shetty, she’s not the point at all in this angle of the thread. it’s just unseemly to use an analogy to rape without extreme cause, especially when making specific and precise reference to someone’s personal history. it just wasn’t right.
I think we should stop making a story out of a comment and get back to the actual post or move on to another post. I say this because this seems to happen a lot. When there are more comments about a comment then the actual post then we’ve all gotten off track.
Lets get back to the original post, whats the rationale behind this post? Shetty showed off her privates to the public. The Question is, Does it merit a post in a forum like the Sepia Mutiny? I dont think so. It’s like you are giving Shetty more notorious publicity or celebrating her carelessness.
Well, getting back to the original post… As I was reading this delightful humor piece which could inspire a wonderful desi version of the acclaimed “Vagina Monologues” play (I think I read this has been done in Mumbai, but I don’t know the particulars, and I might have dreamt it), I was wondering if Shamita had seen the foreign film BABEL? Reminds me of a character/scene in the movie…
That’s your opinion, it’s been stated by others too, but it’s not the only one. One thing we don’t need is prudery after the fact, or at any time for that matter. What you are asking essentially amounts to censorship, for this has already been in the public domain for a while, even in India, only the typical reader of SM probably would not have known. I didn’t, and I’m better off knowing that someone – anyone – did or could do this. That she was Indian, and a sister of Shilpa, makes it eminently bloggable, right here at SM, in my view.
The larger meta-issues can certainly be discussed – whether she should have done it or not, or whether it was deliberate, or an accident, and what it means for others, and whether it is setting up new trends, or just copycatting. I’m all for discussing these things, but they can only be discussed when the thing gets blogged in the first place.
Lets get back to the original post, whats the rationale behind this post? Shetty showed off her privates to the public. The Question is, Does it merit a post in a forum like the Sepia Mutiny? I dont think so.
made me laugh. anyone else laugh? the world needs more laughing and fun.
Thank you Razib and Jasmine, for getting that I was trying to be humorous.
To everyone who called out a really bad analogy…thank you, too.
::
Jasmine’s take on this was right, though I wasn’t as wise as she was to remember the V-monologues…I really was hoping you’d all reveal what you called/were taught to call your happy no-no place when you were small. 🙂 If my memory of that writing workshop I mentioned serves me well, there is no easier way to make everyone laugh. 😀
Um, no. No more a chance than Britney Spears’ vagina was an accident and all the other no-talent-but-need-attention hollywood women vagina accidents. Do you really believe there are this many “Oops I forgot to wear underwear with this really short skirt when I know there are lots of cameras present” accidents happening?
My thing was called Vellachee. It was the word and honestly till date I do not know what the real word in Tamil is.
Shame Shame was what we were told when we sat with our legs splayed all over the place. Just a way to get little girls to sit properly. Never did I think it was meant to get us to feel ashamed about any of our body parts. It just felt like just another one of those millions of things which we were told not to do. To the extent there’s a suggestion here that there’s something wrong with Indian attitudes, I would think that the general rate of the relevant psychoses in this part of the world suggests that there couldn’t be that healthy of an attitude towards body parts here either. Attack against the auties is hence unwarranted.
Divya, despite the line in my post which teases desis about shame, I do think you are right. It’s stupid how we Americans have issues with sex but not violence/gore. Any place that could see breastfeeding as tawdry is guilty of not having a healthy attitude.
Awww, come on. 😉 My “Silly-auntie” deserves an attack and then some, for calling a vag a “shame shame” and so much more. 😀
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamita_Shetty#_note-0
check out the one reference!
I’m curious. How long do you suppose someone waited to get this picture? Do you think Shetty deliberately showed or she was just adjusting her outfit, and paparazi captured it; I’m amazed so many people are judging her because she didn’t wear underwear and some ahole violated her privacy.
brownout, I spent a non-trivial number of minutes staring at Shamita’s picture and pulling down the skirt of the sundress I was wearing at the time in an attempt to study what my hands looked like as I was tugging my skirt…and despite my wanting to believe she was just adjusting a garment, I couldn’t, though I’m no expert on such strange things and I don’t claim to be.
I wanted to defend her, because I’ll be honest, when I first read this story tip, I was vaguely irritated…I think whether or not someone chooses to wear underwear is their business and not something criminal. This post would have turned out differently if I did think some ahole was invading her privacy…since I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on, but I wanted a “fun Friday” post, I wrote what I did above.
There isn’t a girl who comments on here who hasn’t had a situation where they were in some dress or skirt where even the tiniest bit o’ foundation garment displayed visible panty lines in a mirror’s reflection, after which they threw their hands up in the air and went commando…or came thisclose to doing it. We’ve all been there. Some of us end up having a very breezy evening, others just give up on the outfit in question and change…so I’m not trying to be some prude who is all, “oooooh, she doesn’t wear knickers! the horror!”.
I think what everyone is “judging” is the idea that she didn’t mind…the attention? That it might have been a deliberate photo op, hence my referencing Basic Instinct? 🙂 Well, all that and for the umpteenth time, I really thought this post would either turn out a thread about childhood nomenclature for genitalia or conjecture regarding the fate/legacy of Bel Biv Devoe. 😉
All I know about BBD was that “Poison” was the song me and my boys used to blast on our Walkmans (remember tapes anyone?) while wearing our skidz and getting lines cut into our hair… 3 on each side. Ah, those were the days. Just remember boys and girls “never trust a big brother’s smile”!
Man, when I hear BBD, I remember Jodeci, Levis Silvertab baggy jeans cuz momma wouldn’t let have me have Girbaud baggy jeans and wearing my make-believe pager inside out cuz momma wouldn’t let me have a pager either. Not that I needed one then cuz girls had cooties in those days. Ah memories….
Come and talk to me I really wanna meet you can I talk to you I really to know you…….
Damn! I forgot about New Edition’s If It Isnt Love!! I think I asked out my very first girl I had a crush on to that song. And it wasn’t a dance. It was recess and I gave her my Walkman and told her to listen to that song. I don’t know what I asked her after she listened to the song but it couldn’t have been smoothe cuz she turned me down!
Allison Byrd, wherever you are, you were the most beautiful girl in all of 6th grade.
That song made me feel funny in my tummy. 😀 I loved it. I had a crush it “went with”, too. Ah, good times.
Maybe it was metaphor for baring it all…
Sobal, seriously shut up before you display more of your ignorance.
Hella good times, from one norcal superstar to another.
Does anyone remember pager code? 143, 823, 1177155400, 6000*171647, etc.
Oh brother =) I’m such a dork.
I usually don’t comment a lot and I am a new reader of Sepia Mutiny but I am seriously sick of the trolls that show up at ANNA’s posts to insult her writing, personal life or attitude. People with philistine views, please do not comment unless you have constructive criticism to give. You don’t insult the person whose house you are staying in.
Dear Anna,
You are amazing! The person you marry (or have married) will be very lucky. You are a good writer, expressive and honest and best of all, don’t take yourself too seriously. I’m sorry for what happened and it takes courage to talk about it, this I know. I’ll pray for you with all my heart so that all the others will know never to be scared again. Being female doesn’t put us at a disadvantage and noone should be able to violate us for any reason whatsoever.Take care.
P.S – I love you for being so brave!!
Candy Girl
was watching this best of 80s or when they were young show the other day and this song came up. when they are going down the stairs cracks me up, i may start doing that every time i walk down the stairs. i wish i heard this song when i was a wee lad. the first school party i went i to, i went up to the girl i liked and asked her to dance, to my great delight she agreed. now looking back i think it was for two reasons, 1) she was a kind hearted soul, and 2) she was a jungle mentalist and our British Asian brethren was banging on the stereo
UK Apache & Shy Fx – Original Nuttah
now great as this song is, its not the one where you try it on with a girl though. she did look good on the dance floor! 😉
back to the topic in hand, my faiba has been using the term “ladies business” for some time to describe well, ladies business. but i realised she uses the term like Al Pachino using “forget about it” in Donnie Brasco!
“went to the doctors today, yep ladies business”
“went to the bakery today, yep ladies business”
“no you cannot have some penda, its for ladies business”
multiple meanings. easily confused 🙂
I have been MIA for a bit but this sure was an interesting post to come back to…
ANNA, hilarious post. Made me pull down my tee shirt..over my jeans!
I wonder if the guy sitting next to her was thinking, ‘how did I miss that?’. 🙂 I also wonder if the people who made a big deal about the gere-kiss will serve Shamita for indecent exposure?
Fashion Smashion..why go commando when a thong could fix the problem?
Any chance that this was a product of computer imagineering/ photoshop? if not, I’ve been out of India for a long time (as someone said earlier) and more importantly, I was born ten years too early 🙂
I think she may be ISI agent and this was a message for anti-national espionage sleeper agents, expect to see some subversion as a result.
I have delegated some patriots including respected posters on this blog to do close inspection of the landing pad for any possible subversive message in the zone in question, possibly code in folicle arrangements, growth etc etc
Coming close to CIA/Tibetan rape on stage of her sister by Abrahamic/Dalai Lama nexus, who is actually Chinese Commie double agent in Himachal Pradesh, situation is grave.
Beware, Assertive Nation, of panty-less girls. They want to destroy us and activate sleeper cells with camel toe espionage!
Hail Mogambo!
I wonder if the guy sitting next to her was thinking, ‘how did I miss that?’
The guy sitting next to Shamita S. is Mahesh Bhatt
The guy to her right is Film Director Mahesh Bhatt, father of Pooja. He could be thinking what you think he’s thinking, or he could also be thinking – ‘look what I’m not missing’. OK, that was a joke, no reference to ID’d persons is meant 🙂 And really, it’s not so much that he is sitting next to her, but that she is sitting next to him! The question I have is – a) Why b) Who’s the mustachio-ed dude in the picture directly behind SS ? He seems familiar, like maybe he’s an actor or something, but I can’t place him.
Sorry for being pedantic and off-topic: but shouldn’t the “ch” in A N N A’s caption “Chee! Vhere your…” be the aspirated form of the consonant ? “Chchee!” or “Chhee!” is a mild exclamation of disgust, while Chee is, I believe, a Mandarin name as, for example, in “Chee Thong Pugilistic and Health Society” (no, I did not make this up; it actually exists).
I’m starting to wonder if Spoorlam is actually Abhi in disguise/under cover.
I am still thinking of what made Shamita move out without her chuddies! I mean, isnt it something one does, wear undergarments…like brush your teeth, eat, crap etc? Or is it that its the latest in thing in the bombay elite who are more Noo Yawk than the New Yawkers themselves? Hi Honey, papoo picked me up in his beemer hain naa, to show me his new Ipod, so doll I tell you, hain? Aur why are you wearing undies yaar, it is so mufassil town yaar, so third world yaar..”…please save us from the Indian Paris and Britneys!!!
I wish. Spoorlam lives! 🙂
Spoorlam….your comments sounds like a good screen play script for B-grade horror movies in Bollywood ;-).
I want to know how the hell does one ‘forget’ to wear chuddies? I mean your clothes don’t sit right on your or feel right when you go commando, nevermind the cold factor or the discomfort wetness factor etc.
I’m not being a prude but this was obviously deliberate. There are places to go commando and get attention I suppose when you are a nobody celebrity like a club or something but at a function where you are required to sit and will be photographed? Come on, are you telling me this girl wasn’t raised with the basic common sense of how to sit when in public?
I still feel my grandma alive and slapping the back of my head screaming “Sit properly” if I ever slouch or my skirt rides above my knees and she’s been dead 22 years. You can sell me the Brooklyn Bridge before I’ll believe that this wasn’t a total deliberate attempt to get in the news.
God, I love that Scrubs clip. I have it saved on my computer for the days I’m feeling blue. I used to dance to that song in T-head’s bedroom back in the day, making an ass of myself, as usual.
p.s. Thanks for the shout-out 🙂
My parents/relatives call it the “post office.”
Is it only me who thinks that the unedited version is fake ? This appeared long back, and the reason there was no effigy burning was simply ‘cos the photo was doctored. Mid Day was the tabloid that first published the censored part. But then it was carried by several other blogs and most of them concluded that it was fake. If you look closely (ok..I admit, I did look closely) it seems to be somone has placed a nice triangle in to fit the photo, but the skin shade near the “shame shame” part is a tad fairer compared to the inner thighs. This does not seem right.