Q: What should one do if one really needs to get laid?

A: Go to Kerala, of course! 😉

Via the Mumbai Mirror:

Nine months after he went on a rampage while in heat, destroying his enclosure at Byculla zoo, Rajkumar, the 18-year-old elephant, is finally leaving town today to mate with his chosen partner, a similarly-charged teenager at Thiruvananthpuram zoo, appropriately called Rani.

No having the sex before the marriage, thank you:

In the best Indian tradition, their relationship will be duly solemnised and the two are to get married after Rajkumar completes his five-day journey on an open-back Tata truck.

Unlike most of my manwhores, Raju does NOT dig older vomen:

However, the road to love has not been easy for Rajkumar. Though the two other elephants at Byculla zoo were females, they are 45 and 50 years old each, and no match for the young stripling. When zoo authorities resolutely ignored mild sulks and tantrums, Rajkumar decided that a full-scale rebellion was called for and in June last year the mast haati went on a rampage, breaking open the steel gates of his enclosure and running amok through the botanical gardens, before coming out on the open road.

This bit reminds me of Madagascar, one of my favorite animated movies, ever:

He was caught by the desperate mahaout and the zoo authorities near Byculla station.

He’s from the North, she’s from the South…can they make it work? Language might be an obstacle:

Rajkumar will be accompanied by chief mahaout Jamal Khan and an assistant. At Thiruvananthapuram they will apprise the zoo keeper there of his hobbies and also train them how to give order, for Rajkumar only follows orders in Hindi.