Earlier today Boing Boing blogger David Pescovitz wondered out loud about this picture he saw hanging on the wall of an Indian restaurant:
My friend Mike Love and I saw this print hanging on the wall of an Indian restaurant in Palo Alto. The composition makes it look like that woman is about to smash the guy’s head with a sledgehammer. [Link]
I thought SM readers could have a little fun with this. The person who provides the best back-story or conversation interpreting this picture wins!
“How many lumps do you want?”
“Oh three or four..eeeeeeehhhhhh.”
Bonus name the two “actors” that uttered those famous lines.
Jim Ross: King I gotta tell you this intergender streetfight is going to be something to behold! King: thats right JR I thought Vince was crazy,but he is a pure genius! Jim Ross: By gawd King she is going to use the sledgehammer! King: I hope I can see some puppies! Some where in the background Vince Mcmahon laughs to himself.
Pushpinder calls everyone to dinner by sounding the village beggar.
Now when I nod my head, you hit it okay?
Baba ji: You know, back in my day we didn’t have any o’ these there new-fangled hammers. Had to use our heads instead, that’s what we had to do. One young man or t’other would volunteer for the task. We’d take him over to yonder cabin, and rub linseed oil into his temples (proper oil mind – stuff you could see the sweat and the spit o’ the pressin’ in). Then we’d lay him out in the sun awhile to let the skin harden. Three days usually done him. On the third day, us menfolk come git him and take him where he was needed. But first we git him a little happy on a few jugs o’ grass-wine. Most times took near eight of us to carry ‘im. But we brung him to where he was needed, and we’d keep on knocking him in until that nail was all in or that bit of iron was flat. Now that ain’t your easy-as-pie hammerin’, no siree; that took dedication. Lost near thirty men that way in the summer o’ 49.
Circumcision Prevents AIDS/HIV: A Story of One Woman’s Journey to Protect Herself
Succumbing to delusions of grandeur, Baba ji insists on an opening ceremony in the middle of the village’s new dirt road (or, as he calls it, “Promontory Point on the Great Latrine-Field Union Road”).
Baba ji also insisted that all the lower-caste worker who actually made the road would not be in the photo-op.
The village’s Star Wars re-enactment group gets to the pivotal scene in A New Hope when Vader strikes down Obi-Wan. In the background, Luke cries out, “Naaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyy!”
Rama is a poor girl in a village. She has to feed and take care of her old grandparents. Her parents died when she was a kid. She takes herds (goat/ or some kindof animal in the bkg) from various houses and takes them out of the village into open grass fields and brings them back to their owners in the evening. Today on her way she sees old Raghu. He mends tools and other stuff of the villagers and earns his living. On this day he is not feeling well and requests Shayam (the person in the background) to help him with repair job as he has to get it done today for the landlord of the village. Shayam excuses himself and leaves the old man to work by himself. Rama sees the old man stuggling with his tools and offers to help. She ties the animal to a pole and picks up the tool to hit on the metal which the old man hold with a tong like tool. Raghu finish his work on time and thanks Rama. Rama then goes on her way out of the village. So let us pray that with the meal we eat today the story of Rama keeps the spirit of love for everyone who crosses our lives path alive in us.
In an effort to improve their mental toughness on the field, members of the mens’ and womens’ Indian cricket team are encouraged to practice their sledging. (Apologies to all non cricket fans out there; in fact, apologies to everyone).
f
Love it. Now will Hacksaw Jim Duggan come out with his 2×4 and and Indian flag and yell “Hooooo!”
Or how about the Hulkster with a classic python reference while holding his hand up to his ears then ripping of his pre-ripped t-shirt for all the Desi Hulkamaniacs “Brotha”
Or the Nature Boy Rick Flair struts onto the scene. “Wooooooooooo!”
Baba ji asks Pushpinder to test the strength of his newly-starched turban – “Go on! As hard as you can!” – not knowing that he confused the stiffening soap with a block of butter.
“left a good job in the citaaay, working for the man every night and day”
question: which restaurant in palo alto?? i was born and brought up in that bubble of a city and am curious!!
As Peter Gabriel sang in one of his songs, “I want to be your sledgehammer… Let me be your sledgehammer” etc
That chick saw her old man’s life insurance policy recently and decided to take action.
Sorry, but this painting is so hilarious that one can really go to town with it. It is hard to interpret what the painter of this fine painting had in mind, though. Here are a few more guesses.
1.A deleted scene from a video for the Beatles song “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” (with the lyrics “Bang, Bang, Maxwell’s Silver Hammer came down upon her head…”)
Sorry for the attempts at macabre macaca humor.
“Stay very still so I can swat the spider crawling up your back”
I think we finally have a desi nomination worthy of MOBA!
“I told you I don’t like reds anymore. I HATE THIS RED SARI YOU BOUGHT!!! ITS SO UGLY-WUGLY!
Look at Chameli over there walking fashionably in a green-white sari.
I am SOOOO MAD. I could….”
Pushpinder: “So. I hammer the old man’s toe and he leaps up and scares the black goat which butts that man in the distance who staggers into the bullock cart and sends it rolling downhill over the other goat’s tail which makes it run onto the plate which drops the basket and then I’ll have caught that darn mouse.”
The woman from the mission said, knock some sense into him… Well, here it goes.
I just flew back from Texas last night and caught on some bad allergies due to the bloody pollen there. I made myself a warm bowl of soup, looked at it lovingly and was enjoying it immensely, slowly spooning a little bit at time into my mouth. I get this crazy idea that I could multi-task at the same time, and I open up Sepia Mutiny to have some brown enjoyment. I scroll down a little and what do I see? This dirty picture Abhi had posted above. I only had to read the first two lines. I laughed so hard, and the next thing I know, like a bullet from a pistol my snot shoots into the soup bowl! I stare at it in disbelief. So screw you Abhi, for ruining my soup. I don’t care about the f***ing back story but there’s your front story.
Obviously, it is a picture depicting a blacksmith family at work. The Elderly gentleman is holding down an unfinished ware (maybe a knife or something similar) on an Anvil. The lady is using the hammer to flatten it down with repeated strokes. If the hammer lands on the man’s hand, head or any other part of his body, it is an honest mistake and an attorney can prove it in a court of law.
And……..the attorney gets to keep the girl.
So who wins?
The village of Bingah has to be one of the most pedantic places in India. For example, although it is located in the south of Rajasthan, the inhabitants insist that the Himalayan foothills technically begin at their doorsteps. Hence, all pictoral representations of the village have to include a tiny gradient.
Ashok’s attempts at becoming the Indian Thomas Kinkade just weren’t going right.
Seems like a Macaca-ish answer to “Rosie the Riveter”..Presenting “Gulabi the Lohar.” :-p
Classic, Girish.
Taj UK wins with this one:
It’s just a simple Indian variation of a fairground test of strength; hit the old man on the toe and see how high he goes. I believe there are families who have specialised in this form of enterteinment for thirty generations.
Seriously. That’s the best answer.
Also, Bugs Bunny and Pete Puma. What do I win?
”….the old fool wants me to test his new Halliburton Kevlar Turban,so I’ll test his turban!”young Gunit Kaur thought,raising the sledgehammer and pausing just momentarily to catch a whiff of her armpits.
Come on…comment 77 wins, hammer down! I almost choked on my nan.
Sarala, unschooled in the intricacies of ebonics, horribly misunderstood the African-American missionary’s direction to “go aks your father“
Rujul, ever the loving parent, helps his daughter Sarala prepare for her upcoming seal hunting trip to Canada.
Guadalupe, a confused exchange student from a small village in Mexico, takes a forceful swing at her Indian sponsor’s turban, hoping sweets and toys will fall out. Unfortunately, it isn’t the first time she mistook something in her new home for a pinata. Despite a generous wrapping of duct tape, her sponsor’s colostomy bag would never be the same.
83 and #85 gave me a double coronary.
This is an artful depiction of one of the most emblematic scenes from a Bollywood classic. In some circles, this is the real origin of Magical Realism, the literary style made famous by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who saw this operatic film and became entranced by the eloquence and delicacy of the plot. But I digress. The movie’s name, a 1967 creation, is hard to translate, as the nature of the title evokes different aspects of creation, drama, allegories and simple epiphanies. And in some way spoils the whole movie. So, at the initial showing, it was called “Silence in Town,” but some elitist movie critics felt that it didn’t reflect the nature of the plot, so another title was chosen: “In 745 Miles, My Heart Weeps The Silence Of This Hungry and Waterless Town.” But some intellectuals said that India uses the metric system. The translator tried to change the number, but he didn’t know how to convert from miles to meters. So he was fired. A new translator arrived and, enraptured by the essence of the almost Campbellian tale, he forges a title that, till this days, it the one that identifies this golden masterpiece in every catalogue and database: “The Black Goat.” But I digress. Again. Another important thing worth mentioning is that this is a silent movie. The director, Durja Agrawal, decided this after he got an all star cast for the film. He didn’t tell this to any of his actors, as he decided to pay them for every word spoken. As you can see, Durja was quite a rascal and cheap ass. So, at one moment I’ll say “tell”, but in general, the characters use sign language and interpretative dance to get their points across. That is why the film went through 17 different distributors and translators. The story evokes a time in 1905 when a small town, inhabited by mute people, get their first phone booth installed. One person’s happiness turns him into a walking broccoli that starts throwing snowflakes on a ninja style. A dog, initially legless, grows wings and decides to molest an old widow, who in turn wraps herself in cilantro and jumps into the river, where a hand grabs her and squeezes her life out, turning the river black, then later it becoming coal. This crisis makes everyone troubled, specially Vyalar (the young boy pictured in the background of the scene), a young puppeteer and amateur knife eater. His father was a professional sword eater, but got kidnapped by a Sikh cult that wanted to use his sword eating abilities to smuggle blades into other nations. After a night hunting, Vyalar has a vision after he is bitten by a radioactive snake: he must save the town in the next 24 hours or everyone will die without water. When he wakes up, he is surprised to be alive. His best friend Maderu tells him that Mahika, his mother, saved him, as she suck the venom from the wound. Tortured by this revelation, Vyalar travels to the Cavern of Locusts, a place that only the wisest and elder can visit. As Vyalar approaches the cave, he sees the bodies of the wise men on the ground, all drunk in the knowledge of their fates. The entrance of the Cavern of Locusts feels like the maw of a shark, filled with razor sharp edges, waiting for someone to trip and die in bloody agony. Little by little, light begins to die, but Vyalar decides to set his hair on fire. As the flames engulf his once long and blonde hair, he runs, trying to find a solution to the town’s predicament. As he feels the fire reaching his scalp, a new darkness engulfs him. Fade to black. Vyalar hears his name, not once or twice, but thrice. As he opens his senses, a Nameless Goddess (that is the name of the character in the script) is in front of him floating with flowing flamey robes. She tells him why the river turned into coal. I have to mention that at this point, no translator has agreed on what is the exact nature of the why of the water-to-coal transformation. There are 17 versions of this film, from 17 different distributors. And thanks to Viacom (who owns the rights to one of those) the YouTube video with one of the best explanations, was taken down a few weeks ago. So, I won’t write down the why. Then the Nameless Goddess tells Vyalar how to reverse the curse. All the men who wakes up with duck feet, will be ritually sacrificed, by a female robed in red and wielding a sledgehammer. Vyalar agrees and wakes up, only to find his hair all black. As he approaches his town, he listens to the screams of the people (not really, he acts as he “listens” in a very convincing way). When he arrives, many women see the all the males have now duck feet. Vyalar is the only one unaffected. So he tells all the town about the Nameless Goddess and her plan to save them. They all agree. As Vyalar walks around, scenes of males, all duck footed, crouching, saddened but happy about the great future the town will have, awaiting to be mauled by a woman with a sledgehammer. As the men star falling, their heads start spilling great fountains of water, which cover the coals and let everyone rejoice again. Vyalar is happy, and sees the sacrifice of every male, even his best friend, was necessary but worthy. But a new situation happens, as a gang of Sikh assassins arrive into the town. The leader’s first order: kill all the males. But his lackeys find that all are lying down in the ground, with their heads smashed, gushing water out of their wounds. Soon they find Vyalar, who decides to fight the Sikh leader, using his puppetry skills. At this bravado, the evil ma laughs, only to reveal that he is Vyalar’s father, who came looking for him to join his gang. Vyalar, with tears in his eyes, welcomes his father. Together, they leave, while the lackeys kill all the people in town. As you can see, the movie has strong symbols, hard to navigate and harder to understand. Sadly, at one moment, the best thing anyone could do about it, was to put the head smashing scene into a painting and distribute it through all the restaurants in America. Such a sad end for a such a poetic film. Xander
Youth-In-Asia practices EuthanAsia
Partab Singh to wife, “Why wont you bang me 🙁 ?”
Chaudrian, “Sure dear…! Here you go!”
P Singh after death, “Sade Diltay, Sade Diltay, Sade Diltay churian chalaiyan…”
LOL!
World’s greatest homonym.
frustration with the patriarchy
OR
life insurance fraud (murder; to be found out; witness in background)
OR
really really really really poor depth perception.
In the interest of ending the divisive polarization brought on by this contest, I will be gracious enough to declare myself the winner, for entry #15. Let the healing begin.
Our victory speech:
Thank you Abhi, and thanks to the writers, staff and bunker monkeys of Sepia Mutiny, but only if you voted for us, and only if we like you. No thank you’s to our competitors, who dreamed day and night of stealing this award, and along with it, our most cherished anal virginity. Despite having a speech prepared and tirelessly rehearsed, this victory comes as a total, and erotic shock. We hope to use this victory to inspire world leaders to work towards peace, for society’s wealthiest members to work towards ending poverty, and for hot broads to work towards relaxing our naked tender spots. In conclusion, we promise, no, guarantee to use this great honor to further the benevolent and just cause of fascism. You’re welcome.
So who won this one?
I’ll you who one this one, son: Comedy, that’s who. Comedy.
And me.
Why, thank you!
I would like to buy yonder art work for my collection. I’ve never come across something with so many interpretations. And it’d look nice in my bathroom…
I bid two bottles of Thumbs Up and an old goat!
I think hes asked for a pedicure, and she couldnt find the nail clippers.!