Amateur! I scorn your weakness.

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Starvation for Sanjaya: 16 Days Later

Going on a hunger strike because you didn’t like Sanjaya Malakar was asinine. Way to make America look even lamer with your priorities there. No, don’t fret about the homeless, the environment or I don’t know, THE WAR. Worry your empty head about a child on AMERICAN IDOL. My contempt runneth over.

P.S. Regarding those whom you “thanked” for starving with you on this pathetic crusade: I cannot believe that there were others who were mentally impaired enough to join you in this foolish campaign against a contestant on reality television. I wish a lack of reproductive success upon the lot of you, so that your alleles won’t create defective little humans who would grow up to pull similarly inane stunts, lest they annoy MY descendants, who, if anything, will be even MEANER and less patient than I am.

P.P.S. Shlok, thanks for the tip.

P.P.P.S. Sanjaya Zindabad!!!! For no other reason than to irk everyone I cursed above. As our favorite teens Hetal and Kapila would eloquently say, FEEL R BROWN WRATH, HATERZZZZ.

34 thoughts on “Amateur! I scorn your weakness.”

  1. OMG NOT EATING IS BAD FOR YOU? WHO KNEW?

    This is truly a medical breakthrough. All these years I was wasting away, becoming weak and sick, and you’re telling me, Starvation-for-Sanjaya-Girl, that all I had to do was EAT? Thank God you told me.

    🙂

  2. Notice the ad for fitness singles (kind of ironic if you think about it) in the background, I think was all one giant marketing campaign. I really doubt that she actually stopped eating.

  4. Notice the ad for fitness singles (kind of ironic if you think about it) in the background, I think was all one giant marketing campaign. I really doubt that she actually stopped eating.

    I totally agree. I got strangely obsessed with reading her “blog” on her myspace page. If you look carefully, she admits to staying ‘healthy’ because she’s still “taking her vitamins.” I guess Gandhi didn’t get the memo – eating vitamins on the side and a corporate tie-in were really the way to go..

  5. HA! My inner online marketing geek LOVES this. I’m going to go join FitnessSingles now.

    Oh wait, I’m married.

    I’m going to go register FitnessCouples.com!

  6. Oh yeah – forgot to add that I’ve never watched AI, but SANJAYA ZINDABAD!!

  8. I am an evil, evil person cause I really , really hoped that this misguided soul would end up in hospital …

    ….I know, I know that its wrong to wish ill on others etc but I wanted her to learn a painful lesson Oh and Anna?

    “I wish a lack of reproductive success upon the lot of you, so that your alleles won’t create defective little humans who would grow up to pull similarly inane stunts”

    Perfect !!!!

  10. Alright! Anna done used a tip posted by me. I’m stoked.

    Also, I’m curious to see what the voting strategy is that J is talking about at the end of the video. My man Sanjaya is gonna win sweety.

    Everybody at work can’t stand the kid either. I swear though, once he comes out with that first album, I’m getting a copy for all my colleagues. Straight up.

  12. Dear Sanjaya,

    See? there’s no such thang as bad PR! Her mission to secure your place in the top 10 worked like an Indian snake charm.

    Next try some parandhis in the hair…see you next week

    Saira PR

  13. Damned doctors! This little genius was selecting herself out of the gene-pool, and some do-gooder doc had to get in her way with his “medical advice”? Whatever happened to “first do no harm,” ffs? Left to her own devices, Little Miss Sunblot have lasted only ten seventy days without food.

    Now, thanks to some busybody MD, there’s a real risk she’ll go on to breed. This is what I call letting the terrorists win.

    It’s enough to make me lose my appetite.

  14. Now, ANNA, don’t get me wrong. I might loathe this kid’s singing (and I am really dreading Tuesday night), but I celebrate the little desi victory this sweet boy has brought us all. America needs more Sanjayas, desi kids who may not be the best but good enough to have put us all in the limelight.

  15. I remember being in elementary school and watching PBS specials on science and genetics. Hope that cleared some things up.

  16. I think it’s great that all these marginal people can totally make grabs for spotlights by basically doing nothing significant, like almost singing well, and almost not eating for a while.

    It sure seems like America’s willing to give everyone their 15 minutes, no matter how fuckin’ lame they are in those 15 minutes.

    It’s pretty nice of America.

    And…I seriously wish America would shut the hell up now.

  17. Sorry to disagree, but Sanjaya is awful and an embarrassment to the desi community. I agree with all forms of protest to his continuing on the show, even hunger strikes. Even the Mahatma would have approved of a protest against subjigation to such a vile and opressive experience.

  18. She really needed to go on a real fast. She’s looking so much better–cleaner and healthier than in the first video, even if she wasn’t totally fasting. Sanjaya had her living right for a while there. She would have had a real detox if she’d stayed with it, and probably would have worked out her Sanjaya problems too. But now she’s run up against the fasting haters, which serves her right.

    Back when his sister was on I did think Sanjaya couldn’t sing, but now I think he can– his voice is just not developed yet and he’s probably a lot more nervous than he lets on.

  19. I think you guys are missing the point.

    The point would be: WHO THE HELL CARES?!!?

    AJP, good post. Funny as hell, gotta love it. Hetal and Kapila rawk!

    It’s just too bad your writing is way better than any of the subjects at hand; your skills eclipse them utterly. Also too bad AI and the rest of America who enjoy the most banal sorts of water-cooler discussion over nothing much in particular don’t recognize writing skill and wit as more worthwhile than piss-poor moaning into a microphone and someone who almost fasted for two weeks. (gack)

    Seriously, the hunger strike thing makes me want to hit her. This is what passes for suffering? This is worth attention? Tell her to bring her ass over here, I’ll give her something to whine about.

  21. I heart Sanju. So I hacked into the international space station and enlisted another desi in outer space to help cast 2 million votes for Sanjaya. NASA wont know the difference. Thanks Sunita! I’m sending the samosas with the Russian dude.

  23. Slightly off topic here, but have they ever showed Sanjaya’s dad on AI? Or is he like the father in ‘American Chai’ that does not support his superstar dreams by saying, “you are not Michael Jackson, beta” whilst urging him to finish college. (Yes, I know SM is only 17.)

    Just curious. And for what its worth I think “fat girl hunger strike” is a brilliant, not to mention cleverly sneaky, advertising campaign.

  24. Lafoola I will trade you 50 cent for Sanjaya.Now that man is a shame of any community.

  25. Meenbeen-

    Sanjaya’s dad is desperately organizing a campaign of libel and slander against his son, in the desperate hope that a crushing loss on American Idol will destroy Sanjaya’s mind and spirit and force his ass to medical school where he belongs. One can only pity the father as week after week his efforts are revealed to be futile and he slides deeper into the pit of despair. One suspects the dark gods are merely taunting him now, as Sanjaya wore that utterly ridiculous mohawk last week and still won.

    Speedy

  28. wtf. a lot of people will want this crazy girl to go heavenwards. so i assume people will continue voting for the kid.

  30. Also, I heard somewhere that Sanjaya’s dad is actually a classical musician, and this whole AI thing has helped his career.

  31. Sanjaya’s dad is desperately organizing a campaign of libel and slander against his son, in the desperate hope that a crushing loss on American Idol will destroy Sanjaya’s mind and spirit and force his ass to medical school where he belongs. One can only pity the father as week after week his efforts are revealed to be futile and he slides deeper into the pit of despair. One suspects the dark gods are merely taunting him now, as Sanjaya wore that utterly ridiculous mohawk last week and still won.

    Thanks, ha ha!

    Also, I heard somewhere that Sanjaya’s dad is actually a classical musician, and this whole AI thing has helped his career.

    Thanks for real.

  32. “Crusade against a contestant on reality television.” Really? Where was this crusade happening? Or is it a joke that I’m just not getting?

  33. Sorry AKKA – not that I like or dislike Sanjaya, but I don’t have to actually watch Idol to always and forever root for Melinda. Yes, she’s always been that nice. And yes, she’s always had that incredible voice. She just improves with age.

  34. And I was voting for Sanjaya just to starve the brat. Looks like she couldn’t keep the faith. Pity, I wanted to see her triumphant video where she gloatingly announced that a kid had been voted off of a bad reality show thanks to her, then she would pass out and, oh let your imagination go.
    And yea, maybe Sanjaya WILL destroy American Idol, and I will finally have someone to look up to.