Don’t Bother: You’ll Never Get It

I’m still processing the bilious sortie by Shashi Tharoor, the Indian diplomat and author, outgoing undersecretary-general of the United Nations and failed candidate for the top job, in the opinion pages of last Friday’s New York Times. It’s the one where he announces that America and Americans are congenitally incapable of comprehending cricket, that the condition is incurable, and that after valiantly performing such educational mitzvahs as diagramming cricket play possibilities on bar napkins for baseball fans during breaks in World Series games, he has now given up; and hereby retreats to the world of connoisseurs who will gather, he tells us, to watch the final at the home of an expatriate where “of course there will be no Americans.”

Here’s his parting shot:

So here’s the message, America: don’t pay any attention to us, and we won’t pay any to you. If you wonder, over the coming weeks, why your Indian co-worker is stealing distracted glances at his computer screen every few minutes or why the South African in the next cubicle is taking frequent and furtive bathroom breaks during the working day, don’t even try to understand. You probably wouldn’t get it. You may as well learn to accept that there are some things too special for the rest of us to want to waste them on you.

Lovely! Elegant! Thoughtful! Um… diplomatic! Ever considered working for the United Nations?

Alright, so everyone has an off day. And sure, yeah, most people in the U.S. don’t get cricket. Not exactly a novel observation. So why not leave it at that? Instead Tharoor decides to actually argue the case, justifying his dismissal of this thing called “America” with an array of absurd statements. Americans, he says, “have about as much use for cricket as Lapps have for beachwear.” They follow baseball instead, which “is to cricket as simple addition is to calculus.” Tharoor has “even appealed to the Hemingway instinct that lurks in every American male by pointing out how cricket is so much more virile a sport.” All to no avail. But thanks to satellite television and the Internet, now “you can ignore America and enjoy your cricket.” After all: “Why try to sell Kiri Te Kanawa to people who prefer Anna Nicole Smith?”

But all of this is mere appetizer for the main dish, the Comparative Analysis of National Character. Take it away, maestro:

In any event, nothing about cricket seems suited to the American national character: its rich complexity, the infinite possibilities that could occur with each delivery of the ball, the dozen different ways of getting out, are all patterned for a society of endless forms and varieties, not of a homogenized McWorld. They are rather like Indian classical music, in which the basic laws are laid down but the performer then improvises gloriously, unshackled by anything so mundane as a written score.

Cricket is better suited to a country like India, where a majority of the population still consults astrologers and believes in the capricious influence of the planets — so they can well appreciate a sport in which, even more than in baseball, an ill-timed cloudburst, a badly prepared pitch, a lost toss of the coin at the start of a match or the sun in the eyes of a fielder can transform the outcome of a game. Even the possibility that five tense, hotly contested, occasionally meandering days of cricketing could still end in a draw seems derived from ancient Indian philosophy, which accepts profoundly that in life the journey is as important as the destination. Not exactly the American Dream.

All together now: MACACA, PLEASE!

Seriously: What on earth are you talking about? And what does it tell us about what you see when you think of America, and what you see when you think of India? And with all due respect, what kind of UN Secretary General could you have possibly made with a worldview at once so rigid and so fey?

It’s tempting to engage in a line-item refutation exercise, going through the brother’s points, trivial and serious, one by one. For instance, it’s not Lapps, you’re supposed to call them Sami now. Don’t they teach you anything at those urbane cocktail parties? Also: Ever heard of jazz? And best of all, did you read the letter in the New York Times where the writer schooled you on the more-than-12 ways to get an out in baseball?

But all that is noise. What really disappointed me about this article, now that I’ve had a little time to think about it, is the unthinking, crude cultural nationalism, the willingness to truck in stereotypes, the implied view that no matter how much globalization and immigrant entrepreneurship and diasporic arts and international travel and trade mix our populations and produce hybrid souls like the bulk of the readers of this site, National Character is pre-determined and will prevail. Way to validate our concerns, our dreams, our debates, our professional and political and personal choices!

Instead we get us versus them, a view of the world that is positively Bush-like in its reductionism and reliance on obsolete understandings of the nation-state. Not surprising in the end, I guess, from someone whose novel was called “The Great Indian Novel” (oh but you see, that was ironic) and whose forthcoming book is “The Elephant, the Tiger and the Cellphone: India, The Emerging 21st Century Power.”

I’ll believe it when we beat Sri Lanka.

119 thoughts on “Don’t Bother: You’ll Never Get It

  1. All true. But in my view it does not distinguish this article from 99% of all op. ed. pieces about other countries (and sometimes about the U.S. itself with grand generalizations about “the American character” and ” the American ethos”) in the major American journals and newspapers. Its just more bullshit to add to the pile of shit that already exists in the form of newspaper op.eds. and columns.

  2. “But all that is noise. What really disappointed me about this article, now that I’ve had a little time to think about it, is the unthinking, crude cultural nationalism, the willingness to truck in stereotypes…”

    hehe. i know i should be outraged by some of tharoor’s points but honestly i wonder if he’s just giving a little payback to americans who overwhelm you sometimes with their sporting insularity and condescending claptrap about cricket and soccer (football) etc. i’ve read dozens of stories over the years by american sports journalists or just plain old journalists about cricket and soccer, and how obscure the former is and how superior baseball (without any knowledge of cricket either and ridiculous comparisons as well) is etc. so maybe he has a point when he says, somewhat smarmily of course, that perhaps americans should just let others enjoy their sports instead of being smarmy themselves about it every time the world cups of soccer or cricket roll around. i mean at least most of the world ignores the “world” series even if they haven’t a clue about it. maybe we should all just enjoy what we do and stop paying attention to one another.

    or maybe he’s just having a little payback at the americans who derailed his nomination due to their own stereotypes about the un and about who should and shouldn’t be un secretary general based on their own self-interests and national character 🙂

  3. maybe he’s just having a little payback at the americans who derailed his nomination due to their own stereotypes about the un

    And not just at the Americans, as commenter Chandare pointed out. The article running on the morning of India’s defeat to Sri Lanka was exquisite timing.

  4. Tharoor’s musical analogy is apt when comparing baseball and cricket. Anybody who uses Jazz (in comparison to Indian classical music) to question Tharoor’s arguments, must be smoking something. I play both jazz and Indian classical music and there is absolutely no way Jazz can come close to the intricacies and complexities of Indian classical music.

  5. “And not just at the Americans, as commenter Chandare pointed out. The article running on the morning of India’s defeat to Sri Lanka was exquisite timing.”

    well, i think the accusations ran both ways, which is always going to be the case in these types of competitions, especially where regional egos are involved. we’re not always united south asians. 🙂 but cricket-wise, the lankans have the last laugh this time, and i hope they go all the way.

    this is the difference i notice: those of us who don’t get baseball or american football at all and don’t care to generally don’t go onto messageboards where fans of those sports are discussing the latest game or world series or whatever and denigrate the sports (at least in my experience. there are exceptions.) or write articles during the world series putting down baseball. i tend to only compare baseball unfavorably to cricket when someone takes potshots at cricket first. but i notice a lot of baseball or other fans going on to cricket boards and denigrating it. i mean why do people who do not follow a sport and who claim not to care a whit for it feel the need to do this? why have they taken the time to actually leave a comment then? the same with american journalists who, noticing that the cricket or soccer world cup is on, trot out the usual trite stories full of american-sport insularity or wonder that anyone can actually appreciate cricket. it all depends on the tone of the article and i judge each article separately. don’t want to tarnish all of them. this is just my experience. i see this with golf as well. i follow golf, and i notice lots of non-golf people on the messageboards saying golf is not a sport compared to baseball etc. what is the point of this? no one is forcing anyone to follow anything.

  6. I play both jazz and Indian classical music and there is absolutely no way Jazz can come close to the intricacies and complexities of Indian classical music.

    Were you born this way, or is it learned behavior?

  7. Wow..so Shashi is getting a little payback time through the NYTimes. Like he said, he’s tried to explain and can’t get through to Americans. So, he’s a bit frustrated here and just throwing his hands up to the whole exercise.

    But, the same argument is applicable with American attitudes towards soccer, too. However, soccer has hope of setting roots in the US. Cricket doesn’t have a chance at this time of reaching mainstream America.

    However, Shashi’s nose is too high in the air regarding Cricket and Americans. So, he does deserve the letters he got in response!

  8. reply to comment #6

    hmmm… name calling.. How do I respond? Do I stoop down to your level and say something like “your mother was wondering the same thing last night when I was….” or do I just ignore it and move on?

    I was merely commenting from the perspective of someone who is well versed in both cultures. Both cricket and Indian classical music have so much history that it is difficult to compare them to upstarts like baseball and jazz (although I love them enough to get a seaon ticket to Bosox and lifelong Jazz lessons). But you will probably not understand.

  9. Just a hunch but maybe op-ed pieces like these are why Shashi is so riled up.

    A British associate of mine tried to teach me one night in a Scottish farmhouse where we watched a televised match, but the next morning I couldn’t remember a thing. I do know it has something to do with wickets and bats and innings, and that in some matches they break for lunch and tea.
  10. This was certainly not Tharoor at his best. The real eye-opener is in the brief paragraph after the column where we learn that he will soon be leaving the UN. He ran against the current UN Secy-Gen and lost – it’s hard to continue when you think you deserve your boss’s job, so it’s understandable that he has to leave. What’s not is how Tharoor persuaded himself that he had the gravitas to succeed as a Secy-Gen, especially for someone who’s been an insider at the UN as long as he has. Somebody once described him here at SM as having the ‘cadences of a British Lord’ (was it Manish?) – signalling his inability to truly connect even with diasporic South Asians in spoken English. Unfair to him, perhaps, but his accent does nothing to endear him to official or popular audiences in either of the two largest English speaking nations in the world – India and the US. It’s not so much the accent itself, of course, but what it seems to signal about the depth of his understanding of the rest of the world. It’s tragic (and perhaps a little hubristic on his part) how he didn’t think all this through. It’s the same with the op-ed piece.

  11. I don’t know why you are so upset Siddhartha. Someone (somewhere, sometime) in the US has written a silly article about another country filled with inaccuracies (Orientalism!) and Mr. Tharoor is now simply responding.

    Look, everyone does the ‘our sport is better’ thing, but usually in a tone of bemusement and usually not in a paper in the home country of the sport/sporting fans you are bemusingly belittling, in gentle and chiding tones…..

    Anyway, everyone is insular and parochial to an extent. Americans, Indians, the lot. Arguing about which country is more insular (especially among it’s uppermiddle and upper-middle twit classes) is like arguing who is stupider, the dhimmocrats or the rethuglicans. Or arguing which country has the more preachy politicians, American or Indian. Macaca, please. Their politicians. They all preach….it keeps them from actually having to do anything.

  12. Hmm, that didn’t come out well: I tried to do gentle irony and sarcasm and failed! Mr. Tharoor and I have much in common….

    Shorter MD: Good post Siddhartha.

  13. its rich complexity, the infinite possibilities that could occur with each delivery of the ball, the dozen different ways of getting out, are all patterned for a society of endless forms and varieties,

    Variations of baseball pitches.

    Fastball (high velocity) 4 seam fastball 2 seam fastball split finger fast ball cutter

    Breaking ball (sideways or downward movement) curveball slider knuckleball sinker

    Change up (velocity change, designed to throw off timing) palmball “OK” changeup superchangeup

    Ways to get out in baseball Strike out Foul out Ground out Fly out Bunt out Foul out Tag out Run down Double Play Triple Play Picked off by pitcher Caught stealing a base

    And nothing, nothing is more climactic than a play at the plate.

    distance from mound to home – 60.6 feet distance between creases – 22 yards = 66 feet

    a longer distance means, more time to react.

    Fastest pitchers ~100mph Fastest bowlers ~100mph, balls speed can reduce after the bounce (although direction can change drastically)

    Baseball bats are narrower, requiring more hand to eye coordination.

  14. I think that’s the whole ball game. Baseball is better than cricket. you heard it here first

  15. Next time, give us a list of all the ways football totally kicks the ass of rugby! F-yeah!

  16. HMF, in your paradigm, if Shashi Tharoor like the evil white dude who coopts real hip hop or is he someone who just, likes country music?

  17. I think that a lot of tharoors writing here is sarcastic ( as are most of his literary works). I think trying to read a ‘diplomatic accurateness’ into his writings would not make any sense – because a diplomatically precise document is almost always nothing but a bunch of intentionally vague statements.

    I find his article to be a great read !

  18. Steve Bartman????

    Speaking as a Cubs fan, I think it time to forgive Mr.Bartman for his actions in game 6 of the 2003 NLCS.

  19. Yes, he’s being patronizing as hell, but having heard my share of “Oh my God, you watch cricket? It’s so boring! It takes FOREVER! It makes no sense! I don’t know how anyone can enjoy it!” comments, I have to agree with him.

  20. SurAJ: Do you see any condescension in the article at all? And, ‘you Americans do it too’ isn’t an answer. I find it breathtakingly tone-deaf from a supposed world class diplomat. But then, his hair! His glorious shiny hair, in a soft wing on either side of his face, hair capable of mesmerizing Charlie Rose, and me (as I watch the two on PBS), too. Why, I think he alone, with such hair and such delicate wit, could clearly have brought peace to the MidEast. Oh, how I long for the American hegemon to pass the batton to India, for surely, as the birthplace of civilization, the hegemon-batton belongs to India/South Asia……(asia, asia, asia: said in echo).

  21. ‘Cricket is boring’ is strikingly different from ‘Cricket is boring and India sucks, too’. See the difference, my dear friends?

  22. Speaking as a Cubs fan, I think it time to forgive Mr.Bartman for his actions in game 6 of the 2003 NLCS.

    I’m all for forgiving him, but just showing an extreme example where a single play potentially changed the outcome of a game/series/season.

  23. how I long for the American hegemon to pass the batton to India, for surely, as the birthplace of civilization, the hegemon-batton belongs to India/South Asia..

    And India, of course, can pass the cricket bat on to the American, er, what kind of mon was that? 🙂

  24. MD: I repeat – I believe most of this work is sarcastic in nature. To interpret it to be condescending in nature is the same as interpreting a blonde joke to be condescending to blondes. It would be very un-diplomatic and it is incorrect to make “generalizations” about a certain group of people. I agree. I am sure Shashi Tharoor knows this very well too ( he was not a runner up to a UN sec race for nothing ! ) I think it is best to read the article for its sarcastic wit and humor – not to interpret it as a generalization or a way of thought !

  25. battons were invented in India, in the area of Mohenjo-Daro. baseball was also invented there, but the stopped playing it because it got boring. It didn’t occur to India to play any sports until the british accidently reminded them to play cricket. Which India started to play as a favor to the british. It all had to do with the british helping build the railway. And now India has ruined cricket on purpose, by betting on sports. Betting on sports, by the way, was also invented by Indians at Mohenjo-Daro

  26. I’m all for forgiving him, but just showing an extreme example where a single play potentially changed the outcome of a game/series/season.

    Calling time out when none existed…..NCAA Championship game…..6 seconds in the game left……..Webb………….Fab 5…….

  27. It is interesting that America invented her own sports, whilst the rest of the world fell in love with football, cricket and rugby. Maybe it has something to do with how America defined herself as different from everyone else, especially Britain, after the war of independence.

  28. “It is interesting that America invented her own sports, whilst the rest of the world fell in love with football, cricket and rugby. Maybe it has something to do with how America defined herself as different from everyone else, especially Britain, after the war of independence. “

    Wow, Red Snapper! I’ve never made that connection before. That’s so true.. Americans are the innovators, while the rest of the world follows the footsteps of its imperialist leaders.

    So, will they be playing baseball in Baghdad in the future??

  29. lol Ashi, probably not baseball in Baghdad. But that is how baseball spread to Venezuela, which is not a soccer-playing nation, curiously enough, because baseball is so popular. And also to Japan, South Korea, the Caribbean, etc.

  30. Wow, Red Snapper! I’ve never made that connection before. That’s so true.. Americans are the innovators, while the rest of the world follows the footsteps of its imperialist leaders.

    I don’t think it’s as simple a question of the rest of the world following in the footsteps of the imperialists — football was introduced to Latin America by British sailors, not imperialists, the same in Europe. The refinement and exporting of the English games was innovative in its own way, and (especially with football), it was something that spread like wildfire throughout the rest of the world. America was an innovator for her own sports which appealed to the American imagination — but they don’t really mean anything outside the USA. So perhaps they are suited to Americas sense of herself as distinct from every other country.

  31. Of course nations have character. The haughty Frenchman. The inscrutable Chinese. The long-suffering Russian. The pompous Indian. And yes, the insular American. Seek all you want for a nation of hybrid souls. I present to you, instead, Fast Food Nation.

    Put a West Indian in the United States – in about ten years, they will learn of baseball, of basketball, perhaps even of football. Put an American in, say, Antigua. In about ten years, they will learn where the McDonalds is.

  32. Quite frankly, it’s a fools errand to try to argue which is more sophisticated, whether it be cricket v. baseball or jazz v. indian classical music. Anyone who tries to make such broad statements only reveals their ignorance because even a cursory understanding of either sport or either musical form can only lead to the conclusion that it’s a comparison of apples and oranges. Other than the fact that cricket and baseball are both played with a ball and bat, they are totally different sports, each with its own nuance that makes it interesting. Likewise, indian classical music (first one would have to be more specific because the hindustani/carnatic distinction is also very important) and jazz share an improvisational focus, yes, but the harmonic and rhythmic roots of the musics are completely different.

    So if you play both jazz and Indian classical music, or both cricket and baseball, and believe one can’t come close to the “intricacies and complexities” of the other, then you probably are not nearly as knowledgable and skilled as you might have us believe.

  33. Red, don’t want to take anything away from your overall point, but the roots of baseball in rounders, a game originating in 17th Century Ireland and Britain, seems to be reasonably well-accepted. The similarities are so great, that rounders could be called British baseball. Of course, I’d normally be expecting you to be telling us this!

  34. Here’s one American who does like and has played cricket. I even had my Sourav Ganguly wallpaper up until India blew it. Now, I’m just rooting against Australia.

  35. chachaji

    Sure — but rounders is played by 10 year old girls at school who are too scared of picking up a cricket bat and getting hurt. It’s not a mass sport at all, nor is it played as widely, with the kind of mythology and passion that surrounds football, cricket, or in America, baseball. Either way, Americans indigenised baseball and made it their own game.

  36. “Here’s one American who does like and has played cricket. I even had my Sourav Ganguly wallpaper up until India blew it. Now, I’m just rooting against Australia.”

    🙂 a friend of mine touring the u.s. was once stunned to see an american (of european descent ) wearing an indian cricket shirt. upon inquiring, he found out that the man had been introduced to cricket by college friends and had taken a shine to it. his favorite player was tendulkar.

  37. absolutely no way Jazz can come close to the intricacies and complexities of Indian classical music

    Do you mean “jazz” as in that smooth stuff squeezed out by Kenny G? Real, straight-ahead jazz of Miles Davis, Chick Corea, Ahmad Jamal and others of that ilk is intricate and complex. Let’s talk. And thanks Siddartha for mentioning Dame Kiri, did you know that she’s an expert clay pigeon shooter?

  38. Being FOB,Consider me a Cricket fan turned Baseball fan. I went through the Ken Burn’s baseball history series (all 16 (?)hours of it) just for fun.Baseball does have roots in both rounders and cricket .Specially the guy who devised baseball scoring was a cricket player(1860 as I remember).

    If anybody think that rounders is for girls they should check the Sri Lankan version of rounders which is called Elle(EL-LE).They use a tennis ball the way to get a player out is to hit him with the ball when running between bases.It is extremely painful to get out ! Elle was quite popular until 80’s then “Cricket killed the Elle star”.

    It is just B.S.compare two games but I always wonder why all the macacas aint’ give a shit about baseball.

    I’m just waiting for the day when Colombo “Kabaragoyas” are Playing Bombay “Indians” for the world series.

  39. there is absolutely no way Jazz can come close to the intricacies and complexities of Indian classical music.

    That statement is empty and bombastic. Chest-thumping insecurity.

  40. “I’m just waiting for the day when Colombo “Kabaragoyas” are Playing Bombay “Indians” for the world series.”

    then it would truly be a “world” series 🙂

  41. Put an American in, say, Antigua. In about ten years, they will learn where the McDonalds is.

    Yeah but that’s more a question of wealth and agency than any inherent culture. Americans abroad stay ignorant and aloof because they can.

    Immigrant populations large enough to sustain an economy in the United States are perfectly able to (at least) delay American cultural norms too. Why do you think Zee TV exists? I dunno whereabouts you are, but it’s very possible for my city’s large Latino population to keep up with its cultural traditions too.

  42. I play both jazz and Indian classical music and there is absolutely no way Jazz can come close to the intricacies and complexities of Indian classical music.

    Cricket-fan, what instrument(s) do you play? I’d most likely be inclined agree with you if I was playing jazz-triangle, for instance.

    Real, straight-ahead jazz of Miles Davis, Chick Corea, Ahmad Jamal and others of that ilk is intricate and complex.

    Good start, though I’d add a few more to your list. I’m with Sriram: any attempt to claim a hierarchy between jazz and Indian classical music is a fool’s errand, not to mention that both jazz and Indian classical are quite broad and disparate genres that cannot effectively be defined by any singular example. Just look at the wiki on jazz, it lists and explains over 20 distinct styles of jazz music and still doesn’t broach more modern interpretative styles such as Klezmer jazz and jazzy drum and bass.

    Do you mean “jazz” as in that smooth stuff squeezed out by Kenny G?

    Mmm. Note to self: do not read SM while eating lunch.

  43. “I’m just waiting for the day when Colombo “Kabaragoyas” are Playing Bombay “Indians” for the world series.” then it would truly be a “world” series 🙂

    ;-))

  44. I play both jazz and Indian classical music and there is absolutely no way Jazz can come close to the intricacies and complexities of Indian classical music. Were you born this way, or is it learned behavior?

    Some people are incorrigible. Kobayashi, read Pat Metheny’s (one of my favorites – third wind and last train home) cribs about the lack of complexity in jazz for a change. That’s waht happens when the grammar is wanting. And listen to a good rendition of Hamsadhwani [0-1:18; resumes again at 2:15 – 2:50). One is about melody, and another more about harmony. Call and response patterns exist in both.

    [cricket-fan, let there be no disputes about tastes; whisper starts between you and me – you are right, there’s really no match. some fusion jazz tries to copy, and churn out chutneys – but they cannot rob the soul whisper ends]

    coming back to the original post – why is this blogger calling another Indian a Macaca? Who gives him that right? Be happy if you are one, and leave it at that. And here ends my conversation.

  45. I think Shashi Tharoor’s article was probably more suited to a bar conversation, where the article would be his exasperated sigh after 20 minutes of trying to explain cricket to an american. As for Macaca…It’s OK. We’re taking it back.

    I call Macaca please too, but other than that I don’t think the article is half the things siddartha called it.