There is much in my life that the Holy Trilogy has taught me. I refer of course to Star Wars (the original, not the unwatchable prequels). As I make my way through this long and often chaotic journey, I know that I can always refer back to it for understanding and comfort in the face of confusion. Of course, as Joseph Campbell pointed out, Star Wars was really just a vehicle for the re-telling of the story of the Hero With a Thousand Faces:
A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man. [Link]
<
p>
The original Star Wars Trilogy featured Luke Skywalker as the Hero. The prequels featured Anakin/Darth Vader as an anti-hero. All this introduction brings me to the story of Sanjaya Malakar, the 17-year-old singer on American Idol. He is the one. The chosen one that will bring a balance to the force. The light must be completely extinguished and the darkness he represents must reign over us all, before the world can rise up and purge that which he represents once again.
Now, before I continue with my analysis I must state, again, that I don’t watch American Idol. It comes on at the same time as Pussycat Dolls Presents: The Search for the Next Doll, which I watch instead. I wish American Idol contestants were “hot like” the Dolls, but they just aren’t so it is an easy choice. I’m shallow like that.
Some xenophobic theories on the internet claim that the reason Sanjaya is winning is because all the call center workers from India are calling in and voting for him. As if they have nothing better to do (like ummmm…take incoming customer complaints through the night). Such racist filth masquerading as one man’s “theory” undermines what is really happening here. Likewise, pictures such as the one below, although they do make the proper Star Wars connection, miss the mark by thinking of Sanjaya as merely a Sith and not the Sith Lord:
 |
|
Sanjaya Maul |
No. The true comparison to make in this case is that between Malakar and Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader:
Appearances alone mean NOTHING, however! Look at the other extraordinary parallels between our two anti-heroes and their stories. Every week when Malakar gets in front of the “council of judges” he is deemed “not ready to be an American Idol.” Likewise, when Anakin is brought in front of the Council of Jedi, he too is brushed aside as not yet ready to be counted as a master. Tell me, who had the last say in THAT tug-of-war?
In the above analogy, Simon Cowell is Yoda. He is the one that sees how everything is going to unfold but is powerless to stop it. He sits back with a scowl and mild acceptance. Sanjaya’s midichlorian count is just too high, despite the fact that he will use it for evil (proving that most people have no clue what good music is and destroying the music industry). Randy is Mace Windu. ‘Nuff said. Paula is one of those lady Jedi that never actually speaks but looks really cool in the background and you wish you could meet a jedi chick like that. Ryan Seacrest, who comforts Sanjaya, is Obi-wan. He sees the truth but it is his job to advocate the young man while looking good.
Just as Anakin became Vader and hunted down the Jedi, we too must hope Sanjaya wins and vote for him. With him as Idol, American music will lose all respect. Then, a true Rebel Alliance will be able to finally take root. Eventually this alliance will defeat the “Idol Worshippers” by establishing a movement of people that listen only to good music and turns off all reality shows forever (except The Pussycat Dolls show).
I forsee that IF Sanjaya survives, he is the one that will bring Balance to the Force. Do not complain. Accept it. He is the mythical Hero With a Thousand Faces. We have all been waiting for him.
“Paula is one of those lady Jedi that never actually speaks but looks really cool in the background and you wish you could meet a jedi chick like that. “
great post, except for the above line. after watching one half of one american idol episode to see what the hullaballoo was about, one wishes she wouldn’t speak at all, and she looks and sounds like she’s on something, not cool 🙂
To be clear, I don’t think Paula looks nearly as good as a jedi chick. I just got distracted after I typed the phrase “really cool jedi chick” and I didn’t use the next sentence to clear up any confusion. 🙂
Who fits the bill for Chancellor/Emperor who seduces Ani? going by earlier scandals – Paula?
Rupert Murdoch
Ryan Seacreast is a cross between an Ewok and Jar Jar Binks. Actually Jar Jar was less irritating…
“A prophecy . . . that misread could have been” according to Yoda…ahem…Simon….means Sanjaya must procreate to produce a Luke/Leia combo…much like himself and his sis.
Sanjaya is the most desi-looking half-desi I’ve ever seen. In fact he’s more desi-looking than a lot of full-desis.
I’m all over the political allegory in this one.
I’m not the biggest star war fan, so could I be wrong. But the picture of Sanjaya as sith and the name Sanjaya Maul be the wrong sith name for him. Unless I’m mistaken shouldn’t all sith lord have the name Darth.
So Sanjaya should be Darth ? instead of Sanjaya Maul.
I dunno if that comment was made just to ferret out the starwars geeks, but here’s your answer. The character is Darth Maul. Which is the silliest name for a Sith lord, might as well have called him, “Darth really bad guy”
This guy is going to be all over Bop and Tiger Beat.
[begin sermon]
I haven’t commented on this whole Sanjaya hullabaloo because I find it to be much ado about nothing. The only thing I dislike more than reality television is the inexplicable and overwhelming urge some of its viewers have towards creating cults of personality for the shows’ stars or, better yet, mercilessly demonizing them. I don’t want to encourage any further onanism on this subject, but his saga has become so strange that I’ve become compelled enough to speak up and say this:
High school’s difficult enough without people going on hunger strikes to protest you, a British Massengill threatening to quit his job if you accomplish something, or some blogger named Bob in Philly photoshopping you into Darth Maul. Just because the dude’s singing may be subpar doesn’t mean he’s going to march on Poland. Your post is amusing Abhi, but the people bawling when he sings or calling for his deportation both need to chill out and leave this kid alone.
[end sermon]
That’s it, I have to YouTube this guy today and finally see what everyone’s talking about… I rarely watch tv and oddly enough the first time I heard of this guy was on a blog written by a call center rep from Bangalore 🙂
And the ironic thing is, by this time next year, not a single one of these souls will remember who he is. (assuming he doesn’t win)
Nice 🙂
“To be clear, I don’t think Paula looks nearly as good as a jedi chick. I just got distracted after I typed the phrase “really cool jedi chick” and I didn’t use the next sentence to clear up any confusion. :)”
haha. ok. 🙂
Am I stating the obvious by suggesting that stardom has little to do with talent, so the fact that he’s a good or bad singer is irrelevant to the point of the show. That said, I honestly think the starver needs to actually starve to put some perspective on this whole thing (I can’t believe I just said that).
Abhi, your cool jedi chick analogy was dead on, even if Paula isn’t quite a jedi.
Actually, there are some websites dedicated in voting for the worst. This time it’s Sanjaya.
In fact, Howard Stern is telling all his listeners to vote for him. Read below.
http://www.howardstern.com/rundown.hs?month=March&day=21&year=2007&x=46&y=15
THE SANJAYA REVOLUTION CONTINUES
Howard started today saying that he stayed up until 10 o’clock last night, just so he could vote for Sanjaya on “American Idol,� although he admitted that for some reason he didn’t think Sanjaya would make the cut this week. Howard then took a call from a man who claimed he voted for Sanjaya 75 times while Howard added his favorite “contestant� yesterday was Sanjaya’s sister, who was sitting in the crowd, and talked about some really hot photographs of her he had seen. Mike Gange then said he voted for Sanjaya about 10 times last night, but wasn’t sure his votes counted because he got through each time without a problem.
Eric the Midget called in and Gary asked him if he sent Ryan Seacrest an e-mail about Howard’s plan to get Sanjaya voted as the next “American Idol.� Although Eric admitted he did send Ryan such a message, he refused to get onto his e-mail account to read it on the air. However, Eric did say the gist of his e-mail was to get Ryan to “combat� Howard, while adding he voted for his favorite “American Idol� contestant, LaKisha, “as many times as he could� during the voting hours last night.
After Howard referred to Eric as “an ingrate� for attempting to “snitch� on him to Ryan, Gary noted Eric was now refusing to take part in the wrestling trivia challenge he had lined up for him, mainly because there was no prize if he won. Gary then commented that he asked Eric to come up with a list of demands for the contest, but Eric replied he wouldn’t do that because he assumed he wouldn’t get what he wanted no matter what was on his list.
Howard went on to take calls from listeners who said they voted hundreds of times for Sanjaya before playing a clip of his performance last night of the Kinks’ “You Really Got Me.� Following even more calls from people who talked about how many times they voted for Sanjaya, Howard announced that he felt “the fix was in� if Sanjaya didn’t advance to the next round.
Forget Sanjaya. Did anyone hear Melinda Doolittle on the last American Idol? The best singer I have heard on American Idol, and I have become a big Idol fan since Pussycat Dolls Presents isn’t something I am allowed to watch.
she doesn’t have the ‘image’ however good her voice.. i don’t think she has a neck.. just an observation… but she can belt it out like no other…a lot of the success has to do with ‘image’.. might not be fair..but that is the way it all goes down in the end…
as for sanjaya.. i think the ‘vote for the worst’ website has won the battle.. damn proud of the ‘hula your way into your heart’ banter.. gotta admit, it makes the haters want to vote even more…
I think Sanjaya must be made of sterner stuff – if he is indeed brushing off all the haterade that is directed towards him. Looks like he is having a lot of fun. He is refreshing in the “come out, come out all you bathroom warblers…you have nothing to lose” kind of way. I mean, if you look at all the contestants who would you identify with? All awkward, teenage, tossing your hair, hair dryer as mike bravado.
Sanjaya is SOOO gay that he makes Michael Jackson appear like a macho hetero!!
The homophobia is sooo unnecessary. I think Sanjaya is young and not 100% there. To be honest, I have routinely heard worse vocal performances from the other singers.
As much as I like Melinda, I am totally with Lakisha! And while I don’t think she can win the show, Jordin did an amazing job last night as well. What is with all these crappy guy singers hanging on for so long? Not cool.
Cut it out y’all! I can’t help but feel very maternally protective towards the little dweeb.
Quite right. Let the boy be.
begtodiffer, i feel the same way – i’m kinda feeling big-sister-protectiveness when people bash sanjaya, although i think abhi’s post is pretty forgiving in comparison to the other stuff i see out there. in the end, while sanjaya may suffer at the hands of the media, who knows – he might have the last laugh. think of it this way, he’s the first “american idol” whose name i recognize since Kelly Clarkson and the ONLY one that i even remotely care about. can’t say that he’s completely losing out with all the press about him.
I think America is experiencing Malakar Mania(TM). I was in a restaurant at lunch yesterday and they were running a story on AI and Sanjaya on Fox News. This 40 something old friend of mine: “So this kid is Indian, huh?” Me: “Half.” Now for this kind of conversation to happen you have to realize that this guy hates reality shows, watches nothing but sports and Fox News, guzzles Bud Light like its going our of style, listens to talk radio exclusively and has almost zero music/pop-culture knowledge.
Did anyone see Sanjay’s sister the other night? It’s on several website’s and it show’s, in slow motion Sanjay’s sister’s bouncing up and down. It is awesome!
The only flaw in the argument is that Sanjay will need to have a son that eventually will destroy him and then and ONLY then will balance be restored. The problem is that we all know that Sanjaya isnt exactly the type of person who want’s to make babies with a woman.
This is why we must fight fot the right’s of people with alternative lifestyle’s to adopt, then he can adopt a pair of twins that will eventually crush him.
By the way I double checked the ancient scroll’s and it is indeed written this way.
You mean this? Scroll down to the end of the page.
I’ve heard the racist comments flurring around about how the call centers are being employed to help him win. Yes, the Indian in India have nothing better to do than vote for him. Hello, there is Indian Idol, the movie start show and so many others in India that they need to vote for. Why waste time and money voting for Amerikan Idol?? As for Sanjaya…they say the crying little girl helped him win. How he makes it through? There is somebody just a little bit worse than him each week! How much longer can it last? As long as someone else chokes more than Sanjaya!
Amitabh @ 7
funny thing to say dude. but sincere. because no one really questions the other half of his ethnicity which i think is italian. all jokes about call centers, none about how maybe the italian mob has the voting rigged.
um my bad. i must be on crack. that brown kid above is me.
I have to admit, given some of his perfomances (where is that lovely singer from the initial audition session? Signed sealed delivered I’m yours. Fantastic), I did wonder…..no, no, no, not call centers or somesuch, but could a bunch of nice aunties be calling in?
Teenage girls, more likely, and why not? I once kissed a picture of David Cassidy back in the day….it’s one of the joys of being a tweenie. Crushes and the like.
Her boobs are fake for sure. Check out her Hooter’s pic.
This scenario is not totally out of the question. Some of them watch more of American Idol than Indian Idol via satellite and it’s probable that at least a few have called in. Why not?
Sanjaya is a cute, slightly effeminate, sweet and awkward teenager. Why do people assume he’s gay just because of that?
Some of the most macho, masculine “good ol’ boys” you can imagine are gay.
Anyone ever seen American Dreamz?
Ok not exactly the same…
They’re real and they’re spectacular
AMEN!
I think her boobs may be real. You would be amazed at what the Victoria’s Secret “Very Sexy” line can do for bust enhancement.
I saw American Dreamz… soooo bad. Does this mean Sanjaya will sleep with Simon, and that his beleaguered fiance will try to blow himself up?
I saw the picture of Sanjaya’s sister. They’re real, without a doubt. Fake ones don’t bounce like that. At least, not to the point where they’re caught in an earthquake.
I don’t really watch much reality TV outside of “Project Runway”, so I’ve not been keeping up to speed with the whole Sanjaya thing, but as far as the starving chick on MySpace goes…well, goodness knows that I need to drop about 20-odd pounds myself, but I can’t help feeling that on some level the starvation move isn’t necessarily a bad thing for her.
ahem Just saying.
Also, I just watched the “mission statement”, and I’m still trying to get over this. It’s a frickin’ television show woman, not an attack on all your core principles. Why on earth is it so hard for someone to get a grip?
ahh mr. sin… i ask this of the world every single day.. not just this woman.. it seems a lot of the world has gone quite loopy… i blame it on reality tv… starting with richard hatch..
and as for sanjaya.. he is such a horrible singer.. but i find it extremely humorous that the haters of the show have voted him in this far, so now he will be touring with the top 10 of american idols.. from the howard stern listener contigent..to other people who despise the show and are sick and tired of the judges…the typical ‘dawg, i wasn’t feeling it’… the dribbling alcoholic voice ‘..ahh… i… feel… you’… and the brit who makes more sense of it all, clearer than miss cleo… ‘you are brave sanjaya very brave’… (esp sporting that mop of curls no your head)
as a sidenote: saw something on an entertainment show.. where they were interviewing the hairstylist for american idol… sanjaya CHOOSES his hairstyles every week.. the hairdresser said, he had never seen a guy so much into his hair as sanjaya is…
wheels will turn… phones will be dialed.. i’ll see if he makes it another week..and makes the blood of the brit simon boil ;)… this might be a true blessing in disguise.. put up with a crappy voice america for a few more weeks.. and american idol might be taken off the air for good..
Would it be acceptable if one were to comment that #42 was a totally shithead thing to write?
that bounce action by the sister clone just made my weekend. ah, sweet mystery of life.
Second that, brownie. Made my birthday a whole LOT sweeter.
If he wins, he’ll be bigger than Shilpa Shetty, and then Anand Jon will have to make him a big, purple, hooded velvet cloak with a little zardosi work at the edges for the Colbert Report, no curtseys. (the Sweet Chariot vid again).
here
I was heading to that but someone got there first. Damn!
Agreed.
Sanjaya actually looks and dresses like teen idols in the late 70’s. Funny to think that that look is coming back.
how does he get that hair? I can’t even get my hair to look like that tousled-messy look that white boys have, let alone that..