Sonny Suchdev, of the band Outernational, has a nice personal essay up at RaceWire, the blog for the magazine Colorlines (thanks, Dave).
It’s a story describing an experience that many Sikh guys have had — having the dastaar (or pagri, or turban) pulled off as someone’s idea of a joke:
I’m riding the F train like usual in Brooklyn when dozens of kids – perhaps in junior high – get in my subway car on their way home from school. The train is bustling with adolescent energy.
As the train stops at 4th Avenue, I hear a boy yell “Give me that!†as he and his friends run out the train door. The next thing I realize, my dastar has been yanked completely off my head. My uncovered joora dangles, and I am in complete and utter shock. Everyone on the train is staring at me. Other kids from the school are both laughing and shaking their heads in disbelief. Not knowing how to react, I stand up quickly, look out the doors of the train car and see a group of young boys of color running down the stairs. Startled and confused, I pick it up my dastar from the grimy platform and get back in the train. (link)
The part that I found most thought-provoking was the following:
I get off at Smith and 9th Street with my dirty dastar in my hands, not knowing what to do. My eyes fill with tears immediately. I feel naked and exposed, so small, so humiliated, and so so alone. . . . I get to a corner of the platform and break down in despair, remembering fifth grade vividly, feeling so angry and exhausted from living in this country. The twenty something years of this shit is going through me at once – the slurs, the obnoxious stares, the go back to your countries, the threats, the towel/rag/tomato/condom/tumor heads, all of it. But somehow pulling off my turban hurts more than anything. Maybe it’s the symbolism of my identity wrapped up in this one piece of cloth that, like my brown skin, I wear everyday.(link)
Skin is a good metaphor in one sense, though the sense of shame entailed in this type of experience is actually more like having a private part of your body exposed — in other words, it’s like being forcibly disrobed. Part of what makes it complicated is the fact that the perpetrators generally don’t know the symbolism of the turban, though they definitely know that what they are doing is going to result in humiliation. But maybe the sense of hurt Sonny is talking about is not about symbolism or Sikh theology, but about the more contemporary concept of “identity”: this turban, irrespective of why I wear it, is who I am. It’s what I wear every day; it’s what makes me, me. It’s about having that sense of self dismantled and disrespected for no apparent reason — for someone’s idea of a joke.
I think this story, while definitely unique in some ways to the Sikh experience, is an experience that other people who are visibly marked as different (either for ethno/religious reasons or for any other reason) can also identify with. Also, I wonder if being vulnerable in this way is at least partially analogous to the way the threat of sexual harassment can affect women. (Note the phrase “partially analogous” — as opposed to “exactly similar”)
At some basic level, most Americans don’t seem to realise that the Sikh turban is not a hat. I remember a conservative, big-shot prof at my elite American undergraduate institution who required students to take off their hats in class asking a Sikh boy to remove his turban. Of course he had no idea how offensive it was to say that to a Sikh, but I was also really shocked at that kind of ignorance in someone of his education. I’m guessing those kids who tore off the writer’s turban were acting in part out of bigotry and in part out of a misguided sense that this was just horseplay. These kids haven’t been raised with the sense of what the pagdi means for Sikhs and the historical meanings of forcibly removing pagdis, but you still have to wonder if they’d be so cavalier with, say, a yarmulke.
I think the parallel with sexual assault is a good one.
Obviously I don’t understand the humiliation of having the turban ripped off, but I understand the humiliation of being racially abused and threatened by a gang in public whilst people look on and do nothing, and I have never and will never forget that feeling.
Somewhat tangentially related, has anyone here seen this film?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0867599/
Amardeep,
Thanks for posting on this one. I saw it in the news tab and when I read it, I nearly cried. The feelings that develop from the infliction of a cruel indignity are sometimes the hardest to articulate and I think that Sonny portrayed it quite well.
I think also, at it’s most basic interpretation, it is about the destruction/flagrant disrespect of something that is cherished. I don’t mean that he cherishes the cloth itself, but that he cherishes something about wearing it. It could be cultural/religious identity and pride, the fact that he is continuing a tradition probably followed by members of his family. It could be that it feels like a part of him because he has worn it his whole life. The point is that something that is connected to him was ripped away and devalued by other people.
When compared to sexual harassment, in my opinion, it does have similar notes in that there is some kind of violation (it was literally ripped off his head) and he was treated as though he did not matter. When a person is mistreated in any way (be it sexual harassment, bullying, racism, etc) he/she is treated as “less than” the person doing the harassing. I think the heartwrenching part of these experiences is when a person who is victimized longs to undo the event but is completely powerless to do so.
I find interesting the parallels between these two lines:
and
.
How sad. Bon courage, Sonny.
I sympathize with him because I went through similar incidents. But if you think through it is probably more out of ignorance than out of racist attitude. But you can’t expect adolescents to learn about the so many different cultures of immigrants that come to NY. I am sure they treated likewise the yarmulke wearing Jews in first part of 20th century but as Jews became main stream those incidents have lessened as people knew more about them. I think calling names or physical abuse is much more serious because it is racial hatred than ignorance.
But of course whatever the reason may be that prompted this incident, one would feel their identity violated.
Most probably my reaction would be the same. But to answer that question of Why? Kids are cruel (unintentionally). Why do kids bully other kids? It is the same. Why do geeks or nerds get called all sorts of names in school? How is this any different? For kids conformance is the thing. They will tease any one out of the main stream unless they are sensitized to them and such situations.
I think the allusions to more cruel things in the essay are unwarranted in this case as this incident and others are not comparable. This incident is more out of ignorance and others are racism and bigotry.
The understanding of sikhism in the United States is not the same as in Canada or England due to the fact they make up alot smaller % of the population. America has about 500,000 sikhs compare to 400,000 each both in England and in Canada, but they have 10 times the population of Canada and 5 times the population of England.
Also from what I’ve seen in both Canada and in England the % of sikh’s who wear turbans is alot higher then in the United States. I have 11 male 1st cousins in California[ 8 of them were born and raised in India] who are between the age of 27-44 and none of them wear turbans. Only 2 of my 5 uncles in California wear turbans, but they only started wearing them when they started losing there hair.
In Canada I have many relatives who wear turbins including many who born and raised in Canada and have had one for there whole life.
Sikh’s in the United States have to deal with alot more misunderstanding of there religon then they do in Canada.
Right, so a Sikh guy having his patka ripped off is not comparable to any other kind of racist assault which may be motivated by racism and bigotry? And you gauge this exactly how? Talking about how kids are cruel is missing the point — most kids are not cruel and know don’t act like that because they know it’s wrong, so it’s not just ‘the norm’ and therefore excusable. If a kid walked up to your mum and ripped the bindi off her forehead how would you be able to differentiate it from simple ‘innocent’ high jinx and racist spitefulness? I just don’t buy your reckoning at all.
Who says that these two are mutually exclusive?
If 14 guys that had visual resemblence to Bill gates flew planes into the twin towers, maybe a comparison would be in order. By no means are the racist attacks justified, but this is really a silly comparison to make.
It is easier to correct a kid who did this out of ignorance than some one who did this out of racism and bigotry. So later is much more serious issue than the former. But as I said in my previous post my initial reaction would be same if he did it out of ignorance or out of racism. But it is important to distinguish which is which.
Is it possible that this kid this out of racism, yeah it is probable but ignorance is more probable in my opinion. I could be wrong though.
Most kids are not cruel (my experience has been different though :)) if they can get away with it. But it is norm for bullies to tease others.
I meant most kids are cruel if they can get away with it.
I think,in my 6-7 years of living in the white mans ‘melting pot’, I have been verbally racially abused maybe 2-3 times and what I would call minor incidents in perspective. The worst and most public was a little after 9/11 when this african american dude started telling me ‘Go back to Afghanistan, you know you are the new ni##ers’ in front of a whole bus of drunk University students. Sure this was a distressing incident but over the years I had started believing that I understand the dynamics of racism now and that I dont care as much about it. I guess we could call it a defense mechanism, but in my mind now I dismiss racial abuse as rantings of a closed minded or frustated or non self confident soul and not worth thinking about. Which basically means I am calm within minutes of a racial abuse because I have enough self belief to not feel distressed about it and usually forget about it very soon.
Interestingly however, while reading through Sonnys experience. before I started reading or even as the post was building up to the crux, in my head I was expecting to feel sorry and think ‘ok, he had to deal with some morons’. More so, this was done by a kid probably out of ignorance which makes it even more explainable. But by the time I finished reading it, I felt furious, distressed and I felt I could totally empathize with what this guy went through and as if my self belief and my explanations to myself about what racism is all about is not worth a dime. Little confusing!Maybe I was just fooling myself when I told myself I know how to deal with racism. But then what explain my own calmness when I have been personally racially abused, but this reaction when this dude got abused. Any shrinks in the house?
I’m no shrink Ardy, all I know is that it’s good to do as you’ve done: to tell it the way it happened. Our reactions are not consistent, the pain is never the same. What doesn’t impress you today could be a shock to the system tomorrow.
That’s why this battle isn’t over.
Previous post on Sonny and outernational.
Sonny’s wearing a patka. It’s tied pretty tight around his head so to take it off requires a fair amount of intrusion and grabbing. It’s not just a hat you can knock off by accident, so it was clearly a very physical act on the part of the perpetrators. By your own description, that’s more likely to be racial hatred.
I have heard the same sentiment of humiliation and despair from hijabi women on their hijab being yanked off by haters. As I have said earlier, the maximum shit that is inflicted on a group in public in the post 9-11 world is on sikh men with turbans and Muslim women with hijabs.
Sonny has actually written a very moving post. Very sad indeed.
Absolutely agree.
I find this whole business of demonizing every little incident as racist is just a little out of touch with reality and being too sensitive. Indians are the new blacks.
Jezz, if you grew up as a Sikh in post 1984 riots in India, you would know what racism means. I have personally witnessed sikh kids being tormented at school and this was years after 1984. At the very least, in the western world, I have a strong justice system that can bring people who act in a racist manner towards me to court.
It doesn’t lessen what this guy went through, which was terrible, but it doesn’t make the whole western world racist. It was stupid kids who should be punished for what they did, and not made an example of.
I find this whole business of demonizing every little incident as racist is just a little out of touch with reality and being too sensitive. Indians are the new blacks.
Troll alert.
Another Hindu bashing-post from Amardeep. No surprises here. @=)
Seriously, much thanks to Sonny for honestly sharing his painful tale and to the prof. for the excellent analysis. I’m glad you included the universal applicability of this story; I don’t believe Sonny was targeted because he was an adherent of his Sikh faith, rather he was immediately judged as a member of some vague and amorphous outgroup with foreign (and therefore inferior) views and beliefs and thus irreconcilable to what is accepted as normal/American/etc. The act of snatching off his dastaar to me is more than someone’s idea of a joke: it’s an act of physical and psychological subjugation bent on reminding someone conspicuously different of their inferiority in the eyes of those who view themselves as powerful and justified in their action. In this case, black youth targeted a Sikh man, but the dynamic is nonetheless the same when a white person refers to a Chinese person by a slur or a husband beats his wife. I’m not claiming to know whether this attack was motivated more by racism than general ignorance, just that the vulnerability inherent in being marked or just perceived as different or foreign can affect all of us, regardless of how outwardly “assimililated” or “integrated” to a certain culture and its mores we may claim to be. Keep on fighting the good fight, Sonny.
Mr. K, Ennis, AMD: well put.
I knew it, Sonny’s incident was just another act of black on black violence. No surprises here.
(Apropos of nothing, is it “Suchdev” or “Sachdev?” “Sonny” or “Sunny?” I’ve seen all and don’t want you to be further dissociated from your identity @:])
Time for outing myself.
I had forgotten about it but this blog reminded me.
Once in India I had lifted a passing woman’s sari pallu off her face, which she was wearing in traditional veil style which is common amongst a certain sub-caste of brahmin wives in that region.
It was at a particularly difficult point in my life when I was feeling boxed in by the local culture, customs and traditions, as well as violated by some of the double standards.
Her pallu-veil represented all that to me, and I did it not to insult her but more to shock the men in the street who observed it. The gesture said, “what if what you do to me daily gets done to one of your own just once”.
Silly and immature but it was sort of cathartic in it’s own way. I heard some older male shop keepers gasp, and I got a sort of misandrogenistic pleasure from that. Just a small evening of scores. The tip of the iceberg really.
It was nothing, but I got the desired effect from the onlooking patriarchy that I wanted.
Sometime after I felt bad about it (for the woman) but looking back, I don’t feel that bad, coz the woman did not act like she was at all offended.
Who knows, maybe I did what she had been wanting to do herself all along?
Dj Drrrty, oops — it’s “Suchdev.” I fixed it…
Yeah I reckon you could be right Mistress of Spices. Sonny might have wanted to have his patka ripped off his head violently, thrown on the floor and be humiliated by a gang of thugs in front of total strangers. Or maybe you’re just smoking crack.
It sounds like you used her. Your intent to “stick it to the man” does not cancel the fact that you removed her pallu on purpose. Maybe she didn’t seem upset because she gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was an accident. The fact that it wasn’t makes it seem that your act was meant to devalue her. A “larger purpose” doesn’t make it right….just my opinion.
I’m not a shrink, but I think you said it best yourself…when it happens to you, your calmness is a defense mechanism. Racism and sexual harrasment are much easier to deal with when you rationalize them as a power struggle in which you actually have the power, as in your example where the person probably came off as sounding crazy –you remain calm by thinking about how you are sane and how he’s just pathetic. It prevents you from wasting emotion on every racist or possibly racist thing that is ever said to you. On the other hand, when it happens to someone else, you, not having lost your empathy or your innate sense of righteous indignation, despite your defense mechanisms, respond emotionally, because it’s safe to do so. It’s not your life, but you’re a good human being who can relate to the pain of others. Also, you’re not necessarily emoting in response to what happened to him, but in response to his eloquent description of his own emotions.
I can relate to your experience–sexual harrassment by strangers (or most non strangers even) has pretty much zero effect on me, but I hate hearing about it happening to other people.
I meant to say maybe you’re not necessarily etc. not trying to make presumptuous assumptions 🙂
Red Snaps
Im not comparing the two. I’m sharing my thought processes behind why I did it. I did not rip her pallu off her head entirely. I lifted it from hiding her face. As pallu is the end of a sari, it would be impossible to rip off a pallu without tearing the sari or ripping the whole sari from someone’s body.
I admitted above that it was silly and immature.
I still wonder though why some North Indian Hindu brahmin women cover their faces like that? It seems to me like an influence of Islam or something.
Please don’t feed the trolls.
my only post 9-11 racial incident happened a few days ago up in harlem. i was walking past a mosque and a group of male black teenagers tryed to frighten me. one kid bumped me and said something. i took off my ipod to hear them but all i heard was “iraq”. most of the kids started laughing and one gestured for me to fight. i turned around to high-step it back to the safety of the upper east side but not before i caught the eye of one kid, who looked quite apologetic. i felt sorry for him.
i don’t know what to make of it.
Isn’t Red Snapper a long time commenter?
As Ennis said, it must have hurt to have the patka removed like that. Its a crime right there. Sonny says “yanked” – which makes me wince. Sigh – these kids must have probably gone homeless hunting next.
The kids were muslims?
Even if they weren’t, Islam, in one form or another (NOI and splinter groups like 5 Percenters, etc) is quite common amongst New York blacks, often the religion by fault. Even if not, black male youth in the area generally have a favorable to neutral view of Islam and Muslims, rarely hostile in that area. Also, many black people in that area, due to the above mentioned reasons, do not think 9/11 was caused by either Arabs or Muslims.
Religion by default, I meant.
This reminds me of something I heard recently:
Last year, a Sikh teen faked a bias attack and cut off his own hair, because he didn’t want to tell his parents that he didn’t want to wear the turban anymore. He wanted to “fit in” more, according to what is mainstream. The odd thing is that his high school about 50% Indian, Indo-Carribean, or other South Asian (including many recent immigrants.)
Que escandalo! Dios, ostia joder PG!
I’ve almost taken the bait a coupla times.
Just say no to trolling.
i don’t think so. the mosque looks like it’s made up mostly of browns, not NOI types. i don’t know if the kids were hanging around there looking to beat up a muslim, but i didn’t hang around long enough to find out.
my guess is that’s it’s mostly a kid thing. i usually get a minor incident every few months when i go up to my gym in harlem. (mostly it’s some kid not wanting to get out of the way on the street, like they walk right toward you to force a confrontation). sometimes i go up there in a suit and tie and i never get harrassed, i even sense some respect via the expensive suit. but when i’m in gym clothes i look younger and more thuggish, that’s when i get fucked with…like a woman in provocative clothes, to use amardeep’s analogy.
probably Sonny Suchdev is a young dude, so it’s likely a high-school like teasing incident with a racial/religious twist more than anything else. older people don’t get screwed with like that, or if they do it’s more obviously racial (i think).
cheers to sonny and and all patka-wearing/turban-wearing boys and men in the west! stay up, indeed!!
i have more to say on this topic, but tomorrow, hopefully.
Race is not choice. Religion is by choice. To equate brown skin to turban is foolish. I was born into one religion(Hindu) and converted to another(Christianity). I wish I could do the same with my skin color or my sexual preference whenever I feel like. A Turban or Hizab or whatever are symbols of religion.
Also, a hijabi student from Yemen left ASU one month after 9/11 b/c there were threats in her mail, on the street, etc. I was at that school for a few months and heard her neighbors talking about it.
I think my long time participation here, as well as my personal anecdotes, and now my link to my webpage, is enough to proove I’m not a troll.
If not, then what do you want? My bio-data?
Nikon, I see where you are coming from. Religion can be changed, BUT come on, how many racist/rude/troublemaking people are going to ask a person’s religion before harrassing/hitting/judging them? I’m agnostic, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t have any problems b/c my name is Muslim/Arabic. I think racism is MORE of a problem in the big city, unlike suburbs and mid-sized cities (where I spent most of my life). Sad reality!
What I meant was racism takes on more obvious and violent forms in the big city.
“a group of young boys of color”
“The worst and most public was a little after 9/11 when this african american dude started telling me ‘Go back to Afghanistan, you know you are the new ni##ers’ in front of a whole bus of drunk University students”
“my only post 9-11 racial incident happened a few days ago up in harlem. i was walking past a mosque and a group of male black teenagers tryed to frighten me. one kid bumped me and said something.”
Maybe it’s a good idea to do a post on the outsized contribution of African-Americans to racism in this country particularly post 9/11. I can then honestly add several personal anecdotes to support the theory. Trust me I am not a hater, just a keen observer of life on the American street.
Whenever someone white/black said or did something bad to me I always took it to be racism. But as I lived in US longer and talked to other whites/blacks I realized that similar things happened to them also. So from then I tried not to quickly label an incident racism because that would be like crying wolf.
From my reading of the article I thought ignorance is more probable. But if more knowledgeable people disagree with me then I suppose I was incorrect in that assumption.
As an African American woman finding out that it was young boys of color who did this really hurt me to the core.
If the African American youth involved had any inkling of their own history in this country, and how their own people were disrespected by others in similar ways (whether it was acts of racism or plain bullying) they wouldn’t dare do such a thing to another human being. Unfortunately, too many people do not know the meaning of the word empathy. Nor do they know the meaning of respect.
I hope Sonny finds some healing in sharing his experience on a blog, but I also hope that he and/or other Sikhs take the time to educate others (especially young people of color) about the symbolism of the turban. Believe me they will accept and understand its significance (its close tie to identity) especially if explained to them in a way that they can relate given their own issues with acceptance, identity, and racism in this country.
Are there any children’s books dealing with this subject? Children’s books that explain the turban, and how boys are treated when wearing the turban, etc.?
Thanks for your comment, Kali Billi.
BTW, in response to Kalli Billi’s question, there are children’s books like “The Boy With Long Hair”, that aim to educate.
Is this the same Sonny Suchdev who thinks the only thing the world needs a little more of is revolutionary Marxism?
I wont say black people are any more racist than white people. I think when it comes to the whites who harbor discriminatory tendencies, they might not show it as explicitly but are more subtle maybe through their lack of warmth when they interact with you or through some of the subtle questions they can ask about South Asia which may come as curiosity driven but might not always be innocent or ignorance driven. I think history has made the white man a lot more cautious in expressing his racist attitude due to the social taboo. On the other hand, just like some white people, some black people too are racist but because they have always been the color discriminated against, they are more explicit when they express their racism. Plus, I think a lot of these black people who act in a racist manner probably belong to poorer communities and thus did not grow up being as PC as say a suburban white community. My guess is the apparent difference we see is probably more in terms of the ways of expression than the actual difference in sentiment.
And speaking of desi racist attitudes, Barkha Dutt had this interesting article when the Shilpa Shetty incident was at its peak
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1904818,00120001.htm
There are some things that one just does not fuck with, but people just do not understand. Some things are sacred and should remain that way (God, family, religion). Racism results from ignorance and fear. That does not justify any of it but at least explains where it comes from. I was an absolute dick in the 7th grade and I made judgements about people based on race, economic status, etc. I grew a brain sometime in college and now I at least try to be mindful of my actions and thoughts. Fuck, call it liberal white guilt, but you see things a bit differently when you realize that you are not the center of the universe and that despite the outward superficial differences we are all pretty much the same.
Am I right? We all want to fall in love, raise a family, and live in peace. What’s so hard about peace, love, and understanding….base, base, death row, what a brother know, peace, peace, love and understanding (Singles reference)
Humanity possesses many positive attributes as well as some evil and negative ones. Racism, ignorance, and oppression are as much universal human attributes as love, kindness, and forgiveness.
In vino veritas. (Yes I’m a bit drunk right about now….)
Best scene ever, with Jeremy Piven!
Maybe the Pooj-meister can suggest some others? (hint hint)