Our site administrator Paul tips us off to an article over at the BBC today that highlights a unique new program launched by the government of India:
The Indian government is planning to set up a network of cradles around the country where parents can leave unwanted baby girls.
The minister for women and child development, Renuka Chowdhury, told BBC News the cradles would be “everywhere”.
It is the latest initiative to try to wipe out the practice of female foeticide and female infanticide. [Link]
In my opinion anything that will help mitigate the foeticide and infanticide scourge is a good thing, but the imagery of little cradles set up around the country is kind of bittersweet.
“We will have cradles strategically placed all over the place so that people who don’t want their babies can leave them there,” Ms Chowdhury told the BBC News website.
The cradles could be in places as diverse as the local tax collector’s office, or where local councils meet.
Ms Chowdhury said parents would be able to leave their babies secretly. The important thing was to save their lives…
“They will be collected and put into homes,” she said. “There are plenty of existing homes and we will be adding some more also…” [Link]
Apparently there is actually a precedent for this type of program (in Japan):
The drop-off at Jikei Hospital in southern Japan will consist of a small window in an outside wall, which opens on to an incubator bed, officials say.
Once a baby has been placed inside, an alarm bell will alert staff. [Link]
Any woman who knowingly marries a man who cannot care for himself is getting what she deserves.
Sure, but you’re operating on the assumption that evey woman wants a man who can take care of himself, and will therefore share in all household chores.
Maybe some women actually want to be married to men who can’t take care of themselves. It’s not something that gets talked about much, but I think there are many women who derive a lot of satisfaction from knowing their husbands can’t even spend a weekend on their own, because they have no idea how to make themselves toast! It is power of a sort, and women can be just as controlling as men sometimes.
I never thought of that before, but come to think of it, I have seen such dynamics at work.
That would be for women who have alot of time on their hands, I guess.
I think that’s just their way of dealing with a situation they are stuck with. They derive satisfaction from it in the same way that women derive satisfaction from complaining about their husbands as a form of female bonding. Why would anyone need to marry a man who “can’t” cook or clean to have power over them? There is nobody who “can’t” cook, only those who choose not to. And since it’s the mens’ choice, who really has the power in those relationships? Any idiot can learn to make toast.
I’m sure there are women that like playing the domestic goddess, but there are other reasons for that.
Actually, I think the average American man or American family has ideas about gender roles that are not that different than desi ones. There are many men from both communities who reject these ideas, but in my personal subset of expereince I don’t think there’s a drastic difference between the two.
If you mean regarding domestic duties, you could be right. It still appears that in many American households the majority of domestic duties in are carried out by women, and men are just “helpers”.
However, as regards other factors – such as “independence”, freedom of movement outside the home and freedom of sexual expression, there are clear differences for women between such in America and such in India.
Having lived in India since 1993 and living in America now, I can say this with full confidence.
Carib Queen: Are you from the Caribbean? My wife is from Trinidad, so I was curious, that’s all.
Your wife is from Trini?
I’m not from Carribbean but alot of my friends are and they are some of the sweetest people I ever met, especially Trinis and Guyanese.
What I said over in the Zen/Cliche thread regarding “new agers” also sums up my experience of Indo-Caribs. But the Indo-Caribs have the influence of African culture to thank in keeping them “chilled”.
I’m sure there are women that like playing the domestic goddess, but there are other reasons for that.
Sure. I’m just suggesting the possibility that those “other reasons” aren’t necessarily nefariuous things like being stuck in a bad situation, or because they married men who see women as subservient. There are women who would rather not work outside the home, in spite of being trained/educated, and many of these women actually enjoy the control they get from “playing domestic goddess.”
The point is, I think we should avoid making sweeping generalizations about desi men, and the women who willingly marry them, and what (if anything) is wrong with these women.
Even I don’t want to work outside the home but just because I would prefer my partner to do that does not mean he does not need to also contribute his fair share to cooking for us or the family and maintaining the household.
It’s not either/or.
Everyone has to contribute to the cleanliness of the house.
This week’s TIME cover was about new age anti-abortion groups. They had some interesting statistics in there from a survey conducted on abortion seekers.
Reasons for Abortion:
Having a baby would dramatically change my life: 74% Can’t afford baby: 73% Don’t want to be a single mother/relationship problems: 48% Completed childbearing: 38% don’t want people to know i had sex or got pregnant: 25% Not mature enough to raise a child: 22% Problems with health of fetus: 13% Problems with health of fetus: 12% Victim of Rape/Incest: 1.5%
http://www.time.com/time/2007/abortions/numbers.html
While I am still pro-choice, I don’t buy the argument that the vast majority of abortions in America are done for “legitmate” reasons.
I agree.
And by saying “playing domestic goddess” I’m not belittling people who choose not to work outside the home. I’m talking about people who intentionally do every single thing within the home, and I don’t think, in the majority of cases, it’s because they like the control. It’s because they feel it’s their duty. I’m not suggesting they were forced into it (if you read my other comments, you know I don’t consider desi men any more sexist than American ones), but that they feel like as a woman, that’s what they ought to do. The reason I don’t think it’s a power thing is that they are usually not preventing their husbands from making toast, it’s a choice made by their husbands, not by them.
My husband works longer hours and a tougher schedule than me, so I end up with more domestic responsibility. While I enjoy cooking, I don’t think it gives me power over him. I’m all about empowering women, and I support choosing a more traditional role if that’s what you want, but I don’t think it’s productive to equate being a domestic workhorse with being empowered.
That’s exactly what I meant. If my husband (who is American) never helped out at home, no one would bat an eyelid, but because he does, people keep saying I’m “lucky”, which I take to mean that it’s unexpected. It’s exactly the same thing people said about my dad, who also helps out with the household chores, back in India.
Carib Queen = our old friend Pardesi Gori.
Carib Queen: Are you from the Caribbean? My wife is from Trinidad, so I was curious, that’s all. Carib Queen = our old friend Pardesi Gori.
Don’t forget Mistress of Spices too! I just won $20 bucks.
Mr. Kobayashi has a compelling comment over on the other post about this very thing.
OK tell me how to connect a link with my user name above and then you can all be connected to my page and know more about me, if you think im trolling.
The reason I don’t think it’s a power thing is that they are usually not preventing their husbands from making toast, it’s a choice made by their husbands, not by them.
I can’t be certain, but sometimes, they are actually preventing their husbands from doing for themselves, because it cuts into the control dynamic that they created, and that they like. Case in point: my father is completely capable of making his own morning coffee, but when he even attempts to do such a thing, my mother is on his case, telling him how he has no idea how to do it and wouldn’t it just be better if he read his paper while she made him his coffee? It’s her choice to do this, and it is about control.
I never really paid attention to this before, but lately, I’ve begun to see this sort of behavior among other women (desi and non-desi) as well.
Figured it out. The URL option was right there in front of me. Duh.
Yep. Like the Indian saas-bahu dynamic. Husband/son is perfectly capable of making his own chai but saas insists that bahu does it. Seen it many times.
Korean Men Use Brokers to Find Brides in Vietnam
Inspired by MC and Daddy-ji………..
Me and the wifey – doin Kama Sutra All in effort to get a likkle putra
We don’t want a girl, so what can be done? Do it on purnima, ashwagandha for fun.
Ma/Bap sleepin upstairs, Bhaiya/Bhabi below Jeldi aou Bibi! Don’t be so slow!
Priya and Chitra, our daughters sleepin soundly But tonite to Bhagwan we offer prayers profoundly
We pray for a beta, so no more dowry to give We pray for a beta, so that in old age we may live…
…Proudly and shanti, our duties have been met If wifey bears a girl again, this time we won’t let…
…Her to bring forth yet another burden To the doctors clinic we’ll go, Doc pull the curtain!
Why is there such a big debate about womens rights and gender equalization, its fuckin India, thats not gonna happen anythime soon, just recently women in india got the right to report domestic abuse to the police and be taken seriously, when will we understand that untill some power is put behind any of your ideas nothings gonna happen, so do me a favor either quit sounding smart over the computer, or call ur relatives back home, the ones with the money only and tell them to spend soem o nthis cause instead of hoarding it