Love in the time of Leprosy

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vows.jpg

I hate the New York Times Vows Section. I hate how the couple is always young (or young-at-heart!), how the bride is always so quirky and brainy, how the guy is so creative in his wooing of her, how the article name drops schools, professions, connections, and associations as if the NYTimes were a paid fluffer for social ranking porn. And that’s before we meet the parents.

So I wouldn’t have stumbled across this gem if Gawker.com hadn’t brought it to my attention. At first glance, Frances Wu and Rommel Nobay appear to fit the profile:

Mr. Nobay, whose first language is Swahili…was named for a military leader, in his case Field Marshal Erwin Rommel. Mr. Nobay was born in New York, but spent most of his youth in Kenya, his parentsÂ’ birthplace, and also in Goa in India, where their ancestors originated. Eventually his family settled in the United States, where he learned English, graduated from Princeton and received a masterÂ’s in public health from Yale.

Ms. Wu is a Virginia-born Chinese-Japanese American, who speaks more Japanese than Chinese…Ms. Wu remembers feeling “immediately understood,” and she had little trouble grasping his sense of dual kinship with Goa and Africa.

Cosmopolitan, eccentric background, well-traveled, Ivied, quirky, polished professionals, romantic discovery of soul mate…All good, right? But wait!

As their dating progressed, Ms. Wu researched Mr. Nobay online and learned that in 1998 he sued Princeton, unsuccessfully, for defamation after the university notified medical schools he had applied to that his applications contained misrepresentations and altered his academic record.

What the hoo-ha? Rommel, is this true? I couldn’t believe that the brother would let browns down, so I decided to investigate further… by reading on. According to the AP in 1998 (also via Gawker):

The graduate, Rommel Nobay, had admitted he told numerous lies and half-truths in applying to Princeton and later to medical school. He claimed that he was part black and a National Merit Scholar and that a family of lepers had donated half their beggings to support his dream. … Nobay, 30, a computer science teacher from New Haven, admitted that he was not, in fact, a Merit Scholar and that a family of lepers had not helped send him to school. He also acknowledged that he doesn’t know whether he has any black blood.

Stand tall my friend Rommel. Stand proud. Military history (and the Sepia Mutiny)on this day salutes you. For within the hallowed halls of academia, and the gloried annals of the Grey Lady, I can think of none besides you who, for however a sweet and fleeting moment, got people to believe that lepers helped fund your schooling.

As for me, I think I just might read this section more often…

104 thoughts on “Love in the time of Leprosy”

  2. i adore the snark in this post! maybe it’s time for the ivy league to reconsider their admissions policies (but wait, isn’t the new debate about how increasing asian american admissions promotes the model minority stereotype?).

  3. Chick Pea, I laughed very, very hard at this:

    “now if he would only name his first born dada or idi… to pay homage to his east african roots and military upbringing.. that would be true class… first rate at that.”

    On that same note, please tell me i’m not the only one who finds that this story’s most interesting nugget is the eccentric “naming children after military commanders” thing. Did anyone catch the final paragraph?

    “She is well aware of her in-lawsÂ’ naming customs. Besides Rommel and Napoleon, there is an Alexander and a Bonaparte. Mr. Nobay has advised Ms. Wu he would like to name their first son Hadrian. SheÂ’s open to it but is thinking of Asian alternatives.”

    Forget Rommel and Frances, I really want to meet his parents.

  7. Heh heh, the Onion story was pretty close, because it’s probably true! I have single friends in all over the 30’s range and it gets really really hard for them to find someone, esp the women. Scary.

    Snarkiness aside, just goes to show how much people have to relax their dating constraints as they grow older and are still single. Personally, I’m pretty much resigned to it already 🙂

    *Why* would they include such depressing information in their wedding announcement?

    To make it more entertaining for us????!!!!

  9. hehehe… this thread is slowly shifting to the lament of the christmas cake.

    think of it as a warm, nutty, rum-raisin cake that ages well and is intoxicating in aroma and taste. yum. i love christmas cakes – those things dont get any fungus and repel bugs on long wilderness trips. i have heard though that one shouldnt eat banana or banana bread because that attracts bugs.

  10. I was going to give Our Brown Desert Fox his propers but I realized his application was filed quite a few seasons after the classic C. Thomas Howell vehicle Soul Man.

  11. Ok, now that I’ve coughed that out, I wish the happy couple all the best. And Ms. Wu’s dress looks lovely. Y’all notice the sari detail?

    Actually, I understand sari-style wedding dresses and gowns, especially bespoke, are not that uncommon nowadays. This one looks like a retro-1930s, Gujarati-East African-Catholic fusion style with an authenticizing over-the-right-shoulder wrap.

  12. Cica, i too am showering love because of the snarkiness of this post…excellent work as usual! Btw, is anyone else thinking what I was thinking when I read about the lepers? What the HELL kind of lepers make enough money to fund a Princeton education?! –more importantly if they do exist, I don’t mind befriending them, do they also cover student loans by any chance? And why did Princeton believe him in the first place to let him in as an undergrad? (Or did he just lie on his grad/med school apps?)

  13. P.S. Congrats to the happy, quirky, young, multi-culti couple:) Maybe if they have a daughter they will name her Joan (of Arc) or Xena.

  15. Rommel Nobay sure looks quite a bit like that other Goan Catholic, Dinesh D’Souza.

    Enough already with this naming of Nobays after european generals; now that the far east is rising again and the Nobay tribe has an oriental princess in the family, I recommend the name Chingiz Nobay if this fine couple have a son; Mulan Nobay if they have a daughter. 🙂

    As for the posters who mentioned thick lips, be advised that large lips have a direct correlation with large sexual organs….in both males and females. Maybe thats why Ms Wu is smiling?

  16. …the bridegroomÂ’s father, Napoleon Nobay…

    That’s awesome!

    Mr. Nobay soon had a taste of her ways: “She sets all the clocks ahead, so I never know what time it is,” he said.

    Confusion was the precursor to thier love.

  17. Read & discuss: David Brooks’s City Journal article “New-Class Nuptials” about the New York Times wedding page.

    Desi Wok (58), I think he included this article, or a very similar riff, in his hilarious book Bobos in Paradise.

  18. The graduate, Rommel Nobay, had admitted he told numerous lies and half-truths in applying to Princeton and later to medical school. He claimed that he was part black and a National Merit Scholar and that a family of lepers had donated half their beggings to support his dream.

    Sounds like a true class act, Nobay does.

  19. thats priceless! hehe. But people from western countries like me who rarely ever see or hear of people with leprosy it is difficult to know whether lepors could have helped with the funding

  20. So here’s the chicken/egg question: Do you think the Times picked this couple because they were just so kooky, zany, warts-and-all…or did the couple decide to overshare so painfully because they thought it would increase their chances of being selected for the Vows section?

    Oh both absolutely. I recently went to a wedding where the couple full on lied about quite a few things to make it to the section, they did. Apparently the times checks out all stories but the couple paid the sources (I’m sure) to lie as well.

    …as if the NYTimes were a paid fluffer for social ranking porn.

    And this is apparently true because this same couple printed out 100s of copies of their wedding announcement and casually left them lying around their wedding. All the unkuls and aunties were going gaga over it. Hello did anyone notice the lies? Anyway…

  21. I wonder if the lepers who supported Nobay’s education are from Mumbai. If you ever travelled on a local train in Mumbai, you would be quite familiar with the lepers and their musical talents. They make a lot of literally mint (tax-free) money belting out the latest Bollywood tunes, from their very own “Katora top 10”.

  22. I have been to Mumbai and the scenes there are like nothing people in western countries EVER see. People in London-where i live have NEVER seen lepers in thier lives so they wouldnt know if they can earn money or not or under what circumstances.

  23. My father worked at a leper colony for three years in Chhattisgarh, volunteering as a physician there because the lepers are…well…broke. Only now do I realize where all of their money went.

  24. You can get people to believe anything about India just toss in something about lepers or extreme poverty or cows. Its still this bizzare scary land for them. I once got a group of friends to believe that the reason many Indian children aren’t named until they are a few years old is that there is a fee for naming your children and most families can’t afford it so they have to save up money to pay for a name and you pay by the letter which is why some Indian people have really long names, its a sign of wealth.

  25. I once got a group of friends to believe that the reason many Indian children aren’t named until they are a few years old is that there is a fee for naming your children and most families can’t afford it so they have to save up money to pay for a name and you pay by the letter which is why some Indian people have really long names, its a sign of wealth.

    Haha!!! you are a total rockstar!

  26. You can get people to believe anything about India

    You can get people to believe just about anything about any place, I think.

    An English friend of mine once convinced a girl in a bar that only the queen was allowed to drive back home, as a way to gain sympathy points. She bought it hook, line and sinker. It was turning out to be a good night for my friend, until the girl said “I’m curious. How long does it take to drive here from England?”

  27. thats priceless! hehe. But people from western countries like me who rarely ever see or hear of people with leprosy it is difficult to know whether lepors could have helped with the funding. I have been to Mumbai and the scenes there are like nothing people in western countries EVER see. People in London-where i live have NEVER seen lepers in thier lives so they wouldnt know if they can earn money or not or under what circumstances.

    I wonder how you found this funny in that case.

  28. This story has seriously made my week. I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in a long time, so thanks, cica 🙂

    That said, how STUPID is Princeton admissions that they believed this bullshit and let him in? I mean, please. He may be creative, and maybe they were awed by the audacity/stupidity of what he wrote down, but really, people, lepers? Lepers donated their beggings so that he, a poor Afri-Desi could go to an ivy league school? I feel like you would have to have had a lobotomy to buy that story on face value.

  29. camille, i second that. also, even if they believed him, the morality of taking socially ostracized beggars’ life earnings to fund ivy-league tuition is appalling, at best – why ever would you want somebody in your school? btw, i was wondering how this leprosy issue came up on the application – which essay question could it possibly answer? Q: please tell us briefly about how you will be an asset to princeton? A: because i am telling you this bullshit lie and you are believing it, i feel i will be in like company…

  31. Lepers donated their beggings so that he, a poor Afri-Desi could go to an ivy league school? I feel like you would have to have had a lobotomy to buy that story on face value.

    No doubt, the dude is hilarious and more hilarious is Princeton that never really asked for proof. Look for Princeton old newspapers on internet, he was also admitted to top medical schools later.

    However,

    Some lepers are quite rich…….they run a sort of sub-mafia in Mumbai ……..collecting their own taxes on begging, and more so reselling government assisted basic drugs given to them to juggi patti (slums) and slum lords in Mumbai.

    Read the book Shantaram for details.

    Also, Papillon for more details on clout from leper colonies in other parts of the world – the Steve McQueen movie or the book.

    I do not know much about socio-economic aspects leprosy in parts of Africa. Rommel Bhai might have. It is possible, It is……not probable.

  32. i love these articles.. it is just too unreal..looks like he never made it to medical school… but to public health school.. (he needs mental health training, but that is a whole other issue entirely)

    when the hell is the made for tv movie about this dude, and who is up for playing rommel? sriram? ganesh? abhi? sid?

    come on.. don’t you all fight for the part… we may have each of you play different generals from the military of course.

    and please check here… we can all get together and send them a sepiamutiny wedding gift from their registry… come on.. who is in for this? 🙂

    THE HARTFORD COURANT Copyright 1998 The Hartford Courant Company April 15, 1998 Wednesday HEADLINE: UNIVERSITY’S DUTY GOES ON TRIAL; SERIES OF MISSTATEMENTS ON APPLICATIONS FOR MEDICAL SCHOOL AT ISSUE BYLINE: MARK PAZNIOKAS; Courant Staff Writer Rommel Nobay insists that Princeton University had no right to warn some of the nation’s most prestigious medical schools of the grave doubts it had about his academic record, his family history — and his racial identity. Nobay, who identified himself as a black applicant, won admission in 1994 to medical schools at Dartmouth College and Tufts and Georgetown universities, even though he flunked organic chemistry and barely passed other pre- med courses at Princeton. Each school either rescinded its admission or pressured him to withdraw after learning of Princeton’s concerns, which prompted Nobay to sue his alma mater in November 1995 for invasion of privacy and breach of contract. Nobay replied that his parents are Kenyans, whose ancestors were from the Portuguese colony of Goa, now part of India. He said his racial background was a mix of Portuguese, Arabic and black African, and he estimated he is one-quarter to one-eighth black. “None of the other ethnic designations ever worked for me,” Nobay said.
  33. btw – bryn mawr girls are hawt. Seconded.
    Thank you hairy_d and ennis at 18 and 19. very uplifting.

    You too Amrita?

    May all your hell weeks end in flower days 🙂

  34. p.s. the best part of their amazon registry:

    bride and prejudice monsoon wedding best of bollywood and bend it like beckham

    looks like dear rommy want’s to get back to his brown roots ;)…

  35. chick_pea,

    i will pay $15 to you toward their wedding gift if you set it up, and be responsible

    notwithstanding, his shenanigans, i like the couple

    i googled his name yesterday, he is all over the place from past.

  36. Hey, come on now. Be nice. I’m slightly sympathetic to his ethnic/indentity confusion since, as we’ve all said at some point, those labels are incredibly stupid.

    I didn’t want to snark about their wedding or affection for each other because, well, as louiecypher said in comment #2, “karma”

    The leprosy thing was just too good to pass up. ’tis all.

  37. He said his racial background was a mix of Portuguese, Arabic and black African, and he estimated he is one-quarter to one-eighth black.

    So he doesn’t think he has any Indian blood?

    He did LOSE his case against Princeton I hope. Looks like he’s pretty happy regardless.

  39. He said his racial background was a mix of Portuguese, Arabic and black African, and he estimated he is one-quarter to one-eighth black.
    So he doesn’t think he has any Indian blood? He did LOSE his case against Princeton I hope. Looks like he’s pretty happy regardless.

    There’s no real contradiction here, Amitabh. Many Indians from the Gujarat, Konkan and Malabar coasts do already have a mix of Portuguese, Arabic and black African ‘blood’. As a side point, the average West African phenotype that is most common amongst Af-Ams is noticeably different from the average north-East African phenotype. To put it somewhat crudely, many of those latter folk don’t look ‘that different’ from ‘Indians’.

    The real point to ponder about our maybe-octoroon, seems to be this – two Ivy degrees, and he ends up as a teacher and a systems manager? Would he have been better served going through Rutgers or William Paterson? (Ivy-schadenfreude, the opposite of Ivy-envy!)

  40. Loved this post, although I don’t find leprosy amusing. One ancient Korean kingdom claimed descent from a “sepia-yellow” union. The Gaya or Kaya (the letter G and soft K being the same in Hangul). Of course, what they overlook is that this “Indian” princess could have been a Cham from Southeast Asia, a Hinduized “empire” in present day central Vietnam whose component states were named after Indian kingdoms. More on this Indo-Gayan link at:

    http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/823181.cms

  42. he ends up as a teacher and a systems manager? Huh? No pride in these?

    Not at all, in fact these are arguably two of the most important professions in today’s economy. The point still remains, you don’t need to go to Princeton and Yale to become one of those, and in fact, the other schools I named would probably do a better job of training someone for these professions. William Paterson was, in fact, primarily a teachers college, and was until fairly recently actually called just that.

  43. I did a surgical rotation with a surgeon who specialised in correcting post hansen’s deformities.( Hansen’s disease is the term used for the condition as labelling someone as a case of Leprosy causes a HUGE stigma. Most doctors trained in India do not call the disease as Leprosy any more)Moreover, Hansen’s disease is eminently treatable and only the very severe untreated cases land up with the classic deformities. As for the victims of hansen’s being rich or poor, I have seen the disease even in the very affluent. As long as the conditions are ideal for the bacteria to colonise you, you will get it!

    I like the very clever turn of phrase used in the title, but I suppose the word “leper”is a bit unsensitive. Just my two paise worth….

  44. Some lepers are quite rich…….they run a sort of sub-mafia in Mumbai ……..collecting their own taxes on begging, and more so reselling government assisted basic drugs given to them to juggi patti (slums) and slum lords in Mumbai.

    Even then KT, would you seriously buy that lepers had given you money to go to an Ivy? I’m with ak on this one. This is ridiculous and morally reprehensible to the extreme.

    But incredibly funny 🙂

  45. the average West African phenotype that is most common amongst Af-Ams is noticeably different from the average north-East African phenotype. To put it somewhat crudely, many of those latter folk don’t look ‘that different’ from ‘Indians’.

    True dat. Many, if not most, Ethiopians, Somalis, northern Sudanese, southern/true Egyptians etc are somewhat indistinguishable from the stereotypical desi, except for their more robust/athletic physiques, much larger penises, and usually curly hair.

  46. True dat. Many, if not most, Ethiopians, Somalis, northern Sudanese, southern/true Egyptians etc are somewhat indistinguishable from the stereotypical desi, except for their more robust/athletic physiques, much larger penises, and usually curly hair.

    Well, a rather male-centred anthropometric perspective, eh Doordarshan! The interesting question, of course, is whether there remains a significant difference in penis length after normalizing the population for height and some kind of ‘skeletal health index’. I daresay reliable statistics permitting such analyses don’t exist anywhere. So this is totally anecdotal, no?

  47. As Ms. Wu saw it, she was only holding out for someone who would understand her, her ethnic background and her many contradictions.

    if this is the kinda guy that understands her many contradictions…..then i’m reaaally curious about her contradictions.

  48. Well, a rather male-centred anthropometric perspective, eh Doordarshan! The interesting question, of course, is whether there remains a significant difference in penis length after normalizing the population for height and some kind of ‘skeletal health index’. I daresay reliable statistics permitting such analyses don’t exist anywhere. So this is totally anecdotal, no?

    kyon chachaji…..a case of “uski sadi meri sadi se safed kaisi?”, hmm?

    ok ok, i am kidding 😉

  49. “True dat. Many, if not most, Ethiopians, Somalis, northern Sudanese, southern/true Egyptians etc are somewhat indistinguishable from the stereotypical desi, except for their more robust/athletic physiques, much larger penises, and usually curly hair. “

    Since when do Ehtiopians and Somalis have ‘robust’ physiques ?

  50. Since when do Ehtiopians and Somalis have ‘robust’ physiques ?

    While satyashree should explain how that was claimed, I have some severely biased anecdotal evidence to offer. Interestingly enough, the second-generation of the post-famine and civil war refugees who relocated to the West, seem to have this ‘robust’ physique. While 2nd-gen immigrants in general are better built and taller than 1st gen, across all backgrounds, in the case of many Somalis I’ve seen, they seem to end up as giants, compared to their parents. It is almost as if the famine turned on the gigantism genes! Perhaps razib will explain.