I hate the New York Times Vows Section. I hate how the couple is always young (or young-at-heart!), how the bride is always so quirky and brainy, how the guy is so creative in his wooing of her, how the article name drops schools, professions, connections, and associations as if the NYTimes were a paid fluffer for social ranking porn. And that’s before we meet the parents.
So I wouldn’t have stumbled across this gem if Gawker.com hadn’t brought it to my attention. At first glance, Frances Wu and Rommel Nobay appear to fit the profile:
Mr. Nobay, whose first language is Swahili…was named for a military leader, in his case Field Marshal Erwin Rommel. Mr. Nobay was born in New York, but spent most of his youth in Kenya, his parentsÂ’ birthplace, and also in Goa in India, where their ancestors originated. Eventually his family settled in the United States, where he learned English, graduated from Princeton and received a masterÂ’s in public health from Yale.
Ms. Wu is a Virginia-born Chinese-Japanese American, who speaks more Japanese than Chinese…Ms. Wu remembers feeling “immediately understood,” and she had little trouble grasping his sense of dual kinship with Goa and Africa.
Cosmopolitan, eccentric background, well-traveled, Ivied, quirky, polished professionals, romantic discovery of soul mate…All good, right? But wait!
As their dating progressed, Ms. Wu researched Mr. Nobay online and learned that in 1998 he sued Princeton, unsuccessfully, for defamation after the university notified medical schools he had applied to that his applications contained misrepresentations and altered his academic record.
What the hoo-ha? Rommel, is this true? I couldn’t believe that the brother would let browns down, so I decided to investigate further… by reading on. According to the AP in 1998 (also via Gawker):
The graduate, Rommel Nobay, had admitted he told numerous lies and half-truths in applying to Princeton and later to medical school. He claimed that he was part black and a National Merit Scholar and that a family of lepers had donated half their beggings to support his dream. … Nobay, 30, a computer science teacher from New Haven, admitted that he was not, in fact, a Merit Scholar and that a family of lepers had not helped send him to school. He also acknowledged that he doesn’t know whether he has any black blood.
Stand tall my friend Rommel. Stand proud. Military history (and the Sepia Mutiny)on this day salutes you. For within the hallowed halls of academia, and the gloried annals of the Grey Lady, I can think of none besides you who, for however a sweet and fleeting moment, got people to believe that lepers helped fund your schooling.
As for me, I think I just might read this section more often…
cicatrix,
i had put their NYT wedding announcement on Sepia Mutiny news tab last weekend.
he is a creative dude, what can i say.
all the best to his married life, nevertheless.
To be fair, maybe he meant that he came from a family of “social” lepers. I too saw this writeup in the NYT but unlike you & Kush was afraid it would be bad karma to draw attention to this.
isn’t a brown woman good enough for him? y’d he swing yellow? sell out!
Â…
this guy is a true character.. i mean, i also considered applying as ‘african’ since my parents were born in the continent and speak swahili… i was this close..until the wings of ‘you will get screwed’ thought of conscience awoke me from my dreamy slumber… but for faking his national merit scholar and how he used leper money to fund his education? that is um.. creativity to a whole new level.. i don’t know whether to laugh in amusement at his trying to beat the system of educational BS at times (i mean who hasn’t dreamt of beating the ETS (SAT onwers) to the pulp?) to wanting to wring his neck at the unethical business of it all… i’m in a quagmire of sorts.. now if he would only name his first born dada or idi… to pay homage to his east african roots and military upbringing.. that would be true class… first rate at that.
this is hilarious and sad. part black and family of lepers put him thorugh school? ha!
chill out razib.
Totally feel ya, cica. Especially when the dreaded V-day is around the corner, and lovey-dovey couples are destroying my enjoyment of spring down here in Texas 🙁
Actually, some of the vows articles can be quite a hoot. Somehow, the mixed-race ones are usually more enjoyable, or maybe I just look at them more.
Heil Rommel!
How multi-culti. I bet the food at the wedding was delicious!
precisely my thought. but another 10 comments and i’m sure there’ll be some grumpy frumpy grumbling about coopting a hindu symbol like a clay lamp for a kristchun vedding.
i am sure that guy’s just holding the glass for the photo. no desi would be caught drinking from something like skinny toob – bring outthe gilasi’s. fust our desi pakora noses cant get in to sniff the bouquet and our thick rubbery lips would probbably get stuck inside. ngaaaaa…subbbodygedmeowddaheere..fghha…
chill out razib.
why should i chill out? 30-40% outmarriage rates among ABDs means that our people are being diluted, our purity debased. this is racial genocide!
I heart Cicatrix. The first paragraph alone is so snarkilicious I could swoon.
Razib at #9 — Seriously?
Sona behan & shlok bhai,
Razib is pulling your leg. No more details, No more………
Sona, don’t worry, Razib is not serious in his outrage, though I’m sure he could give you some study supporting that 30-40% outmarriage statistic.
I thought this couple was cute, in an “as long as I never have to have dinner with these annoying people” kind of way. The story about lepers adds a whole dimension to Rommel Nobay’s character.
cite.
I double heart Cicatrix. I swooned at the headline.
You can’t be named Rommel and not wear a kaiser helmet. There should be a law to make it so
The good thing about this union is that Ms. Wu will never be surprised in the future by evidence of Nobay’s low grade sociopathy. I feel sorry for their kids, they might want to apply to Princeton but will have to lie in the section where it asks if they are the children of alumni. The cycle continues…
with his profile i am sure he first tried to pass himself off as a tall chinese man.
btw – bryn mawr girls are hawt.
hey since everyone is swooooooning… might as well join in. swooooon…. swoooon… swooooooooon… swooohoohoon.
Seconded.
hairy_D: Hahahahahahaha! Funny. Anyway, aren’t those internet things totally, like, truthful? What? I mean, that’s what I’ve heard.
Speak for yourself, dude.
If we insist on going all soft, I will admit that the snarkosity of this post gave me a heart contusion.
at last, something I feel remotely qualified to comment on! The NYtimes Sunday wedding page is my guilty pleasure, and has been for several years now. And I’m always on the lookout for other “rainbow couples” like myself, just for the sheer entertainment value.
However, even as I read about the overachievers and their Ivy pedigrees, I wonder what their respective parents had to say when their dear daughter or beloved son brought home one from outside the clan. If it’s anything like my own experience, I doubt the Times would care to print the reactions.
Now, in this particular case, if I recall right, the bride’s father or grandfather?? pointedly did not come to the ceremony, no?
I dont’ understand…why would you want this information included in your wedding announcement?! Lying about your heritage is one thing, but saying that a group of lepers funded your education is just bananas. He should have applied to Creative Writing programs.
I’m sure the Talented Mr. Nobay was prepared to get past this objection:”You asked for someone Chinese but did not specify Han. I’m a Gobi Manchurian baby”
jaan-e-mun… these pakora noses and the rubbery lips give us a keen appreciation of smell and taste.
i am sure you can appreciate that.
🙂
scorps sez
you guys are in exceptional form todya..:- ) ) louie sez
Thank you hairy_d and ennis at 18 and 19. very uplifting.
To all you multicultural, affirmative action babies…be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
Heh.
oh amrita – it’s the same traits what attract me to canadian girls – when they shake hands they look you in the eye with an open unblinking gaze – and they never seem to wear makeup – their cheeks are naturally flush with the chill of the outdoors and the hair is windblown, smells of the sea.
heck, i am still hopelessly in love with a professor i knew who studied at brynmawr – i met her in my undergrad days – god was i loopy about her. i still am.
umm.. do you have a bubbbblog?
hairy_d, we have no time for makeup, and yes, we prefer the great outdoors, but can’t always be there — i’m so glad you fell for one of us! yes, i sort of have a blog….zadeblog, it’s called, at blogspot. off to watch jon stewart/colbare repor…
Best title ..evah!
This dude and Aleksey Vayner would make an “impossible” team. Boola Boola!
A liar and a fraud…exactly the kind of guy we want teaching our kids.
We’ve gone into a half-dozen tangents here, (or should I say explored a half-dozen themes) from ‘Who’s the Best of the Seven Sisters’ to the perennial Ivy-envy to the old standby ‘Grossed Out by the Grey Lady’ – but what a nice, Garcia-esque, evocative title for the thread, Cicatrix, and no one has said shabaash, waah-waah, subhaanallah yet! Did everyone else, like, totally, just, get it from the get-go?
chachaji — what, did you just skip right over comment #15? hmph.
It’s great that Ms Wu (Mrs Nobay?) knows more Japanese than Chinese… (how cute! and perfect breakfast fodder for New York psuedo intellectual liberals as they sip their morning chai teas)…
but didn’t she know that when someone pretends they were funded by a group of lepers to get into university it’s a dealbreaker?
I mean, honey, he’s all bicultural and hyphenated and Ivy-educated but couldn’t you have said ‘Sweety, I love you but just the whole faking being-black thing and taking advantage of all those lepers killed it for me’?…
Then on the other hand, she’s probably the kind of person who’d pretend to be a Vietnamese orphan so she could write a book about being contaminated by Agent Orange and get on Oprah.
Cicatrix, I’m with you on the snarkism. Although I know you’re a bit overshowered with love right now, but would like to add my admiration. Beautiful deconstruction of the tacky, Benneton-esque Shilpa Shetty-ish Kaavya-like cynical side of our multicultural world.
hey, thanks! My beguiling natural modesty aside, I should point out the gawker did most of the heavy lifting. I just stepped back and admired this dude for his pioneer spirit. I mean, I haven’t laughed that hard in quite a while. Lepers. No, seriously. Lepers. Lepers…donated their beggings. For him to go to Princeton.
Imagine what he would have had them give up so he could attend Harvard!! The mind reels! A carinval of preposterous delights!
Ok, now that I’ve coughed that out, I wish the happy couple all the best. And Ms. Wu’s dress looks lovely. Y’all notice the sari detail?
Their relationship endured a test when he visited Goa in 2004 and did not get in touch with her for the entire month he was there. She surmised that his relatives were frantically trying to fix him up with a culturally suitable bride. “I was being shopped,” Mr. Nobay confessed.
He was 37 when he “was shopped”. Ah, at that age, even with discounts, there were no buyers in Goa.
Incidentally, I wonder if Cicatrix can do some research on whether Mr. Rommel contacted Jewish women. “Jawohl, Fraulein, mein friends call me ze fox, aaaarrrrr. Moi papa’s ze Frenchman, aaarrrrr.” [Imagining Pepe Le Pew]
Lepers. Lepers…donated their beggings. For him to go to Princeton.
Oh, ‘mon. My parents donated an arm and a leg to put me in college.
Maybe, just like Frances, he was considered “Christmas Cake” too?
Or maybe it’s because he tracked his internet dates on a computer spreadsheet?
Or because he’s the kind of prince who admits to something when he’s already busted for it?
So here’s the chicken/egg question: Do you think the Times picked this couple because they were just so kooky, zany, warts-and-all…or did the couple decide to overshare so painfully because they thought it would increase their chances of being selected for the Vows section?
I think my Great^99 grand father was black. Does that count?
Dinesh,Rommel…whats with my Catlick homies? Sigh.
Why would they include such depressing information in their wedding announcement? That he lied on his applications, actually went and sued Princeton for calling him out on it, didn’t call for a month because he was looking at other women he might want to marry (do raw silk curtains really make up for this?!)… Why mention that both were considered unmarriageably old and met online? And that family members “pointedly” did not attend? I’d be mortified to have this all printed in the Times. Wedding announcements aren’t supposed to be objective news pieces anymore than Bollywood is documentary. And I (guiltily) read the wedding section (religiously) for Bollywood-style stories of chance encounters and melt-my-heart proposals; all best to the couple, but this kinda dampened my Sunday morning…selfish? 🙂
Tara – agree. In fact, this Vows story was scarily close to this Onion story, IMO.
Tara, will you marry me?
“Raw I’ma give it to ya, with no trivia Raw like cocaine straight from Bolivia My resume will rock and shock the nation Full of lepers, Princeton and defamation”
Mr. Wu
Wait, so people are talking about him “taking advantage” of lepers. W-were the lepers real? Or are these fictional lepers he’s taking advantage of?
Not only would they have had to donate half their beggings, but they would probably have to donate their rotting limbs to medical research institutions.
an african man used lepers for schooling himself to princeton
a chinese princess found this to be charming and married the man
their kids will no doubt gain admission to harvard using crazy methods
Oops. Now I realize what the double hearting was all about. The solitudinous labyrinth does strange things to the choleric temperament.