To counterbalance my earlier post, I decided to blog about something more fluffy today. Reader Pauravi emailed this link to the bunker with the following message:
So finally, there is a calendar us South Asian women can feast our eyes on :). Enough of the gawking at scantily clad women, check this out!
I was swamped at work on Friday so I had one of the monkeys take a look to give me his expert opinion:
The calendar is SO worth a looksie…I went through all 50 men and honestly I don’t have any drool left yet.
So what exactly is this calendar, you ask? Asiana Magazine — a UK lifestyle and bridal magazine for Asian women — has a feature on the “ultimate 50 single Asian men in Britain.” Each man’s photo comes complete with an interview and biodata such as age, profession, car that he drives, and salary range. (Am I the only one who finds the last two kind of tacky?)
I’m all for the objectification of beautiful brown men (such as this one, this one, and this one). But in this publication, I found the interviews much more entertaining than the photos. Take, for example, the priceless interview with Rehan Bhatt:
Age: 28 Drives: Lotus & BMW Biggest turn-off: Women that judge a man by the car he drives. Your ex would describe you asÂ… The greatest real dream she ever had. She actually said that! Pulling outfit? IÂ’m not that vain but jeans, crisp shirt and my pink g-string never fails! Most outrageous thing youÂ’ve ever done: I got randomly attacked once so I chinned the guy, only the guy turned out to be a butch lesbian.
Translation: I want a woman to like me for me. But in case any of you are wondering, I drive a BMW. I’ve also beaten up a woman. Call me. 
Aman Chohan, however, was much more self-deprecating:
Your ex would describe you asÂ… an arsehole. Other than that, itÂ’ll all be good things. Teen heartthrob: Tia from Sister Sister. What are the chances she reads Asiana? Hook me up!
My favorite profile is that of Aash Aneel:
Worst quality: I forget things. Like any bad qualities I may have, for instance. How many times have you said I love you? After a few too many drinks, sure, but then you only have to count if you get arrested. Most outrageous thing youÂ’ve ever done: Danced with a Christmas tree I found on the streets. I may have said I love you to the tree but there was no awkward moment the next day.
He’s cute and he has a sense of humor. My kind of guy.
Take a look at the publication yourself. The photos are tasteful and safe for work. And the interviews will make you smirk.
So I admit that I flipped through the first few pictures on the web site and then I just couldn’t take it anymore because a)I’m a heterosexual male, and b) these guys seem to personify my objections to certain elements of desi culture.
Here’s my question to the group. In most beauty pageants, for lack of a better phrase, that feature women, the “contestants” at least pretend to some altruistic elements to their personality. I was surprised that there were no activists/public servant save-the-world types in the 10 or so pages I flipped through. Does this have anything to do with the fact that these are profiles of men, or am I reading too much into something that shouldn’t be taken at all seriously? It seemed to be little more than a big d**k-waving contest.
All I can say is that desimen really need to bulk up.
Sriram – right on. It probably has something to do with the fact that good looks + money + nice car are seen as the appropriate Lowest Common Denominator appeal to Average Janes, plus the usual stigmatization of “soft” professions for desi men. Wonder if it would be similar for desis in the US, I get the sense (from SM and from the NYC desi crowd) that do-gooders are rather more acceptable for the second gen of desis there.
Could also just be the stupid “personals” format, with its emphasis on questions that evoke the silly “walking on a beach at sunset” sort of line rather than asking people what they do and what’s important to them in life.
Wow.. what a way to start a Monday. Agree with Jane – some were too young to be take seriously.
However, like watevz said – they’ve got that British accent thing going on! I like one guy who answered salary with “enough noughts to be naughty” — I have to stop and think about a nought.
Anyway, I liked the suits, saxophones and sharp photography — would def prefer this over the swimsuits. The salary question was cheesy, but it actually shows a lot of character on how they answered it.
5 – hehe
“Biggest vice Thai food. ItÂ’s to, um, thai forÂ…”
Slim and trim is ideal AMfD, primarily influenced by futbol. Our ideal is likewise influenced by our dominant sports. I noticed this when I went to the gym when I lived there- the upper body equipment, especially the heavy free weights, aren’t used often. I asked why and “you dun need that for footy” was the reply.
I noticed how all their dream dates involved hollywood stars. No brits and no desis in their fantasies.
Is Ribu Tharakan is the only malu bachelor in there? And he is # fitty! :-p
Can Bombay Dost come out with one of these lists for “the gays?” Yes, we can drool over Asiana’s ist as well, but I’m sure there’s also a market for the other… no? But would they find 50 so willing to be publicly outed?
Hmmm. I need to call these guys and get the phone # for their microdermabrasion consultants or photoshop technicians, one of the two…
LOL it’s not microdermabrasion fore sure but extremely good and professional retouching.
for all you who crave the gunslinger – ultrabrown has just the fix. remember to click the pic.
how’zat for some unconditional love. we care. we really do.
Where are the hot scruffy musicians?! Where are the hot computer nerds?? Where are the hot PhD’s??
We need more.
What’s a microderm abrasion?
Sriram you made me laugh out loud at your innocence 🙂 Here you go.
Thanks, JoAT! I guess questions like that will forever keep me out of any future issue of Asiana’s 50 hottest desi bachelors.
I have to say that aside from a couple of those guys, I didn’t find most of them attractive.
It wasn’t the finely plucked eyebrows, the overly gelled hair or the cheesy smiles that did it…it was their interviews!
I was disappointed to see the usual careers in there, but it was good to see musicians and people working in creative industries too. They also seemed the most reluctant to discuss their finances, which is a good sign! And big props to the guys who refused to answer some of those tack questions.
But I think most of them are way too clean cut to be HOTT. Eligible they may be, but then I guess the really hot guys didn’t have the car or the right no. of K’s.
Well Sriram if that is your goal I can help you 🙂 but I don’t think you need to get in there. Besides after your performance in NYC in March you’ll be a rockstar. If you be it they will come.
Getting ON someone’s best dressed/best looking/most successful list has no appeal to me whatsoever. However, I think my ego might be a bit bruised if I ever end up on somebody’s worst dressed/ugliest/biggest loser list. At this point I’m pretty confident that neither one will happen, which is fine by me. 🙂
All I can say is that desimen really need to bulk up.
Amen brother! I am not skinny (and don’t plan to be ever), and ALWAYS notice the beefy types!
I think I am one waist size too big to apply for this list. Give me six months and I’ll apply for next year’s calendar, though (although I warn you all I am going to lie about my salary!)
All those complaining — this is a pretty accurate reflection of todays British desi men in terms of grooming and style. They really are a bunch of six-packed pretty boys. (I say ‘they’ excluding myself obviously. See previous post for reason why)
Although I just started doing sit-ups as my new year resolution, so don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not like I couldnt make it in there, if I really wanted to. Anyway, sense of humour counts for a lot these days, apparently.
I think I recognise some of those faces off bhangra videos on Zee Music!
Amen brother! I am not skinny (and don’t plan to be ever), and ALWAYS notice the beefy types!
Desi brothers are not going to get much play in the US unless they put some meat on.
From where I stand desi brothers in the US (well at least in NYC) get way too much play irrespective of what they look like.
Funny – never got that impression when I was a bachelor …
too sweet@RedSnapper’s series of commentary starting with a declaration, then a gentle sideswipe at the competition, then self-affirmation of hotness factor. 🙂
The other shoe has apparently dropped
Women while obviously different then men (thank God for those differences), are more like guys than one might imagine. They are just better at hiding their thoughts.
I second that, watevz… 🙂 Lovin’ the whole ‘I’m gonna try…but they’re not that hot…but wait I AM kinda cute…hmmmmm…’
V true about brown boys getting too much play…and all the wrong ones! But I guess that’s rule #1 of being a playa, the slick win over the sincere.
Perhaps I’m seriously out of the loop here, but I noticed that none of the men actually look “asian.” Or at least not in the traditional sense. Unless I’m thinking of a different part of Asia.
Hey Girls
im glad someone passed this link for to look at. im well impressed with the views of the american young asian females.
I like the idea of having an asian USA magazine.. we have Vogue Launching in 2 months with its indian edition in india. so what are the Big Boys/Girls playing at?
are the Nyc boys really that skinny? someone should speak to their mothers to use Asli atta..
Thanks Naina for your comment. ( Made me Light up 😛 )
Peace – Aash
hahah Ash good chap ,so wuss new? hope all is going wel peace
have you ever thought, maybe the amateur run magazine, Asiana, changed the interview answers for their amusement?
Well its true, as one of the said name bachelors in the article above, the editor did his best to be-little me due to one his female employees taking a fondness to me, the married Asiana editor did not like this and altered the questionnaire answers.
But as you would expect some of the guys from these alleged competitions or lists do love themselves, others are just normal guys with humour maybe you don’t quite get.