READERS are blowing up the tip line asking us to cover the story below. Here’s a sampler:
- “Where to even start?”
- “I think the title says enough”
- “I think this one is fairly obvious”
- “interesting/ridiculous contrasts between public health awareness vs. outrageous journalism”
- “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory why this is interesting. Scientific fact? Post-colonial subjugation through emasculation? What do desi women (or gay men) think?”
You asked for it. And here it is, via the BBC:
A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men. …
Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.
The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers.
The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.
This news is the top item in William Saletan’s science round-up this morning in Slate, which offers a translation of the key finding for any macacas that aren’t down with the metric system:
Thirty percent of Indian men are 1 inch short, and another 30 percent are 2 inches short.
Cue up another round of outrage, snark, statistics, exotification and sundry manifestations of sexual anxiety. As you can see, two of the tipsters left comments questioning the reporting of this story. Media hype? Colonial plot? Lou Dobbs?
Speaking of sexual anxiety: For those of you who read this site because you are considering becoming involved with a diasporic macaca, I would caution that you not jump to any conclusions about his member until you’ve had a chance to inspect it for yourself. Emigration leads to changes in diet and other health factors, which results in changes in body type. Just because your macaca’s grandpapa might have had a teeny weeny doesn’t mean your wholesome, corn fed, suburban cul-de-sac raised American desi shares the predicament. Whew!
Discuss. [Previous Sepia jimmyhat analysis here.]
my advice is to stay away from the “extended pleasure” variety.. ive had trouble using that and not being able to feel Anything down there!!! :-)…just the stuff of nightmares i tell you.
Siddartha, man…so much headline potential there, and you blew it (snicker).
Like, “Hard Times Ahead for Desi Guys.”
or, “Brown Weenies Too Teeny for Beanies.”
or, “You Can Leave Your Jimmy Hat On…If It’ll Stay Put.” etc, etc.
The title should read “Condoms too long for Indian men,” not big!
Consider this: If the standard condom makes a man appear small, he is going to be inclined not to use it. Enter babies and sexually transmitted cooties stage left.
Also, I’ve decided not to pass on this desi headline to my family.
Man, anything that involves putting anything more complicated than KY or spermicide down there makes me nervous. Like that “hot gel” stuff? Shudder…
and although I’m sure you’ve discussed this with your ob/gyn (or other provider), know that the pill is NOT your only option. I couldn’t stand the pill, but the ring and I are great friends…
If you’re looking for a place to find more info, take a look at the report I link to below. Although it is called “New Contraceptive Choices” this report cover all the old favorites, and was released in April 2005.
html; pdf
It covers: Vaginal Rings Transdermal Contraception Contraceptive Implants Combined Injectables Condoms Fertility Awareness-Based Methods Oral Contraceptives Intrauterine Devices Transcervical Female Sterilization Male Hormonal Contraception
Um, as someone whose dated the tall, broad-shouldered American-born desi corn-fed types … it sadly ain’t proportionate.
I’m sure the New York Post has a position open just perfect for you.
You realize that this is all protectionism for indian protection.
Also, that condomania makes condoms to fit – they have a handy sizing chart that you print out (a pdf) and then you can order the length and width that is right for you.
No word on whether you can get a padded variety, like elevator shoes for those who are (ahem) not tall enough.
To quote Lou Dobbs: “You may take our jobs, but you may not take our women.”
or like padded bra….all just false advertising
Thanks guy for all the responses,the ring looks good, but am really looking for a non-hormonal device (my hormones are out of whack, just got diagnosed with an autoimmnune endocrine thing..), hubs is threatening to get the snip-snip if we don’t make up our mind soon…sorry for the TMI guys..
Heh heh. They said length and breadth.
Camille – I can’t vouch for their sampling methodology (haven’t seen how they randomized) but a random sample of 1,200 is more than (ahem) large enough to be accurate.
To be wonkish about it, what’s unfortunate is that they’re not reporting their standard errors. I want to see both a mean and 95% confidence interval.
To Not so embarrassed: My understanding is that many types of IUD don’t involve hormones. It sounds like an IUD might be the right thing for you…..but you should ask a doctor!
Doesn’t matter anymore dude. The damage is done. The damage is done. Indian men haven’t been this decimated so quickly since Malaria appeared.
From my person experience with my Punjabi-hubby — his penis is glorious (in length and thickness).
IUD? natural family planning methods? Condoms are great too especially because they are OTC and easily available everywhere (I suggest that once you find a kind you like, you shop around the internet for better prices).
if you’re done having kids, it would be the way to go 🙂
don’t worry yaar, some of us thrive on TMI
You’ve fucked all of us, I’m assuming…
Ra Ra Rasputin
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey (4x)
/ Am – Dm E / :
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow Most people looked at him with terror and with fear But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear He could preach the bible like a preacher Full of ecstasy and fire But he also was the kind of teacher Women would desire
/ Am – Dm Am / E – – Am / : / Am – – – / Dm – E – / Am – – – / Dm E Am – /
{Refrain} Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on
PS: They have writing songs like this in India for my family for ages
has the media really ever insinuated it?
You guys realize this means that PG was right?
I met LL Cool J there. So now you know where he shops for protection. Doing my bit to spread useful information.
Noooooooooo!!!
3 condom sizes…Small, medium, and Liar.
“That’s what she said.” – Michael Scott
Welcome back CP. Speaking of condoms, I guess the Trojans burst under the pressure…ehh yea, good one.
There’s a link to the Screech sex tape in case anyone’s interested in a comparison of former child stars. It’s alright….It’s alright…It’s alright cause I’m saved by the bell!
condoms made according to international sizes are too large….
there is nothing to it but we like it extra tight fit, btw, it comes uncut 🙂
Ennis forget padding. I provided a helpful reference from the Journal of Urology in #16 above. Not that I’m implying anything about anybody. Just being informative and helpful.
….Ahem??
😉
thanks ashas dad
oh you had to rib it in eh? how we lost to fucla i will never know nor understand… rose bowl here we come (again)…abhi, it’s blue vs the trojans.. 🙂
After the mirth had settled (this story has already been emailed as a fwd many times by many friends), the most important sentences in the BBC post was worth noting:
== The issue is serious because about one in every five times a condom is used in India it either falls off or tears, an extremely high failure rate.
And the country already has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation.
In short, the implication is that there could be women out there who are dying due to the reason cited above. Maybe we could’ve spared a thought for them if the BBC had not written such a badly constructed article and instead, focussed on the tragic-consequence of the difference.
Btw, I loved desitude’s dig: condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men. Â…
We are all South Asians now.
Brown is the new yellow.
In the same vein, is it just me or do men frequently complain about small condom sizes? I even had a desi boyfriend once who blathered on and on about how he never found condoms that fit him, even though he was clearly in the 60% majority. Any debonking (thanks No Von Mises!) will be greatly appreciated.
WHAT THE ^#^%$^)*()_&^&( …I got to lunch for 3 hours and you guys had 182 comments without me!!!! throwing hissy fit
Without reading all the comments I will say one thing…I don’t know about desi boys in India but desi boys here are doing just fine thank you very much!!
And I want to know how does one measure to the millimeter with cold measuring tapes and such gadgets. Does the stimulus stick around to make sure the size doesn’t change for the worse? Do they use a tape measure so it isn’t cold? Has Texas Instruments developed a P-Measure?
(I’ve had 3 glasses of wine so forgive me, sex talk and wine don’t go well together I’m told)
In my (lone) experience with Punjabi penis, I must say that (a) he was short and tiny-boned and (b) he had an enormous, delicious wang. Totally disproportionate, and one of the best surprises ever. I hope I never meet any of the subjects of this study to change my mind about or my experiments with Indian men.
..happy hour started early eh
I am gonna get off too…ta taa peeps
Levitra…
The great Johnny Cochran said, “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”.
I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense, but given the line of thought on this thread, anything with Cochran and gloves just sounds right.
Kush! 169! That’s BONY M!!!
I used to love that song. Well, when I was 8, and had no idea what it was about. 😀
“long bong dong.”
I have always wanted to ask this. Does size matter for gays?
vare vere ve.
heeeeres’s Daddey!
is there a hidden message there. mind moving at warped speed. see.
300 or bust.
Guys, do realise that desi chicks sing chinna chinna asai for a reason.
I used to love that song. Well, when I was 8, and had no idea what it was about. 😀
Salil,
It is a great song.
I guess you know now. For others, clue.
Roonie,
Have we met?
I think you meant “Does size matter for the gays.”
“two-punja punjoo”
At least Indian males are honest.
Sorry Chick-Pea. But it looks like the Trojans are not gonna be playing. It’s a case of blue balls!
Completely off topic, Go Horns! (sort of)
I think you meant “Does size matter for the gays.” He he.
Quizman, nice comment. None of that “chinna chinna asai”, dude. It’s more “thu cheez badi hai mast mast”.
JOAT (#183): Yes, Indeed. I can imagine the statistical sampling thus: Chap shows porn films and then asks people to step on over for measurement?
“Aji Chinchpokli ke Lalubhai, aap aa jayiye.
Ramji aap note kijiyega: 6 inch 4 cms. nahin, 3 cms, nahin 2 cms. Arre bhai, thanda ho rahe ho kya?“
As much as it matters for the straight women or mens, most likely.
Have you never heard the phrase “size queen”?
There is no way in hell the average punjabi guy is smaller then everyone else in the world. I suspect that the gujarati’s did this. That’s right! I am sorry but if someone is going down for this it sure the hell isnt going to be us northener’s.
Isnt this how the British divided us in the 1st place by dividing everyone? And now they did it again and it’s working.