Keeping up with the Joneses

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There is a more political way in which there is a “tax” on some South Asian names, and that is when it comes to gaining citizenship. We all know that since 9/11 the gap between the political rights of citizens and non-citizens has grown. Now there is another gap that has arisen amongst applicants for citizenship, between those with relatively common and uncommon names:

The first step involves a computerized search of the F.B.I.’s Universal Index of 94.6 million records for all mentions of a name, a close date of birth and a Social Security number. Different permutations of the name are tried, like the first and middle name only. Nearly a third of naturalization cases come back as having a potential match….

“Common names (such as Mohammed, Singh, or Smith) may result in hundreds of potential matches,” government lawyers wrote. “The sheer volume of the requests has also resulted in delays…” [Link]

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p>This cases sit in limbo even as the INS has promised to eradicate its backlog of applications, since they have simply defined these cases as outside its purview. In fact it now

… takes responsibility for fewer than 140,000 of the 1.1 million immigrant applications that it identifies as pending for more than six months. [Link]

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p>Even immigrants who have already passed security checks of various sorts can be consigned to purgatory in this way:

Also still waiting are a number of Iraqi Kurds who arrived in the United States a decade ago as political refugees, settled in Nashville and were interviewed by the F.B.I. before the Iraq war as experts loyal to the United States.

One refugee, Hadi Gardi, 49, says he teaches Arabic and Kurdish to American soldiers at an Army base in Georgia. He passed background checks for that job, as he did for earlier ones dating to his work as a translator for Americans in Iraq. His wife gained citizenship last October. But though he applied when she did, he is still waiting, told only that the F.B.I. is checking his name. [Link]

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p>As RT Sehgal (not Segal or Siegel) said in his McSweeney’s article “The Terror Alert Levels: A brown person’s guide” :

… is your name Tariq, Abdul, Omar, or does it contain the prefix Al-? Those are fine names, but you know what? So are Steve and Paul. Think about it. [Link]

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p>Honestly, I wonder how many Smiths see their application substantially delayed by this process. Given that Smiths are 1% of the overall population, you’d think that there would a loud crowd of angry Smiths who had been waiting for over a decade to become citizens.

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p>I was thinking about this the other day, when I heard about the big gathering of the Joneses in Cardiff:

More than 1,200 people named Jones broke the world record for the biggest gathering of people with the same last name, Guinness World Records officials said in Cardiff, Wales. [Link]

I hope they’re not planning to apply for citizenship …

And for all of us with funny names who are citizens, please vote tomorrow.

26 thoughts on “Keeping up with the Joneses”

  2. And for all of us with funny names who are citizens, please vote tomorrow.

    Please vote tomorrow regardless of whether you have a funny name.

  3. Please vote tomorrow regardless of whether you have a funny name.

    But… I probably won’t vote for who you want me to vote for… is that cool?

  4. More than 1,200 people named Jones broke the world record for the biggest gathering of people with the same last name, Guinness World Records officials said in Cardiff, Wales

    Records like that are broken every day in gujrat when there is a patel wedding 😀

  5. I hate the INS. I really do, you think the people that work at the MVA are bad; the INS personnel are in a league of their own. My paperwork was lost in California for 6 months; no one had any idea where it was. Eventually they admitted they lost the paperwork and I had to resubmit all my forms, it took years. Thank god itÂ’s over! Since I have dual citizenship, I donÂ’t vote in either country, it just seems like a betrayal. I do understand the significance, I have a major in pol science, but it would seem like I sold out, so I donÂ’t vote.

  7. I’ve never had problems with the MVA, they’re faster than the post office around here. The INS is another issue (shudder). I’m glad my grandfather decided to go through naturalization in the 1980s, before the entire system slowed to a halt …

  10. My ex had the last name Vito and his INS paperwork has been mysteriously lodged for 6 years last I heard. Oh but wait, we’re in Nashville. He’s probably stuck behind the Kurdish refugees…

  11. Given that Smiths are 1% of the overall population, youÂ’d think that there would a loud crowd of angry Smiths who had been waiting for over a decade to become citizens.

    the immigrant stream does not resemble the native born population 🙂

  12. the immigrant stream does not resemble the native born population 🙂

    I knew you would say that. However, it’s the presence of other people in America with the same name that causes the confusion, right? More John Smiths in the database, no?

    And in any case, why no complaints from the Kims and the Lees?

  13. But… I probably won’t vote for who you want me to vote for… is that cool?

    Absolutely, but I reserve the right to try to convince you otherwise should our paths ever cross.

  14. JOAT, the first time I voted was with my then 87 year old gran, it was a first for us both since we werenÂ’t allowed to vote before that. It was an amazing moment and well worth the 4 and half hours we waited in line. Since then voting and politics for me has always been about South Africa, overall no valid reason, just one of the heart, and I do haul my ass over there every election.

  15. Since then voting and politics for me has always been about South Africa, overall no valid reason, just one of the heart, and I do haul my ass over there every election.

    That’s pretty cool. You can’t mail in your vote?

  16. Folks, it’s the USCIS now. Not INS.

    Also, since we’re talking about last names, my boss is a ‘Smith’ and is on the airport security lists. He HAS to check in via the counter every time since e-checking or the kiosk won’t let him. This is despite having military orders, govt. ID, security clearance…..

  17. That’s pretty cool. You can’t mail in your vote?

    Very, very few countries allow mailin votes. USA and Israel are one of them. Israel, since they have a sizable population that holds dual citizenship, and is expat. Not India. You need an infrastructure to run such an undertaking.

    Don’t even get me started on INS, and their shenangians. When in doubt, write a letter to the US Senator, then everything works out fine.

  18. Gujudude,

    Come on, that (USCIS) name has changed 3 times since 9/11.

    Senator Kennedey was put through the ringer at the airport because some terrorist has a alias “ted”

  19. JOAT, no they dont allow us to mail in our vote, we use to be able to vote at the SA embassy, but not anymore. Anyway, I dont need much of an excuse to go back home.

  20. Recently went through the post 9-11 two-and-a-half-year long ‘name check’ nightmare during the adjustment-of-staus phase of permanent residency application and that was on top of multiple INS screwups prior to that. I hope I won’t have to go through all of that again during naturalization.

    I do share my last name with Bankim Chandra whose historical connections to hindu rightwing fascists and terrorists are quite well known in FBI circles, so maybe I am forever screwed.

    Wish I could vote tomorrow. A few more years to go.

  21. Kush, I was just trying to highlight the stupidity of bureaucracy, not necessarily ding people for calling it INS. I do that all the time.

    Don’t even get me started on INS, and their shenangians. When in doubt, write a letter to the US Senator, then everything works out fine.

    Yup. Get a lawyer, send a letter to a Congressman and Senator. That can stir the pot, else, you’re at the mercy of it. So far out of all my relatives, only my one cousin had problems where they lost his citizenship application files. Other relatives applied after he did and got their status before him. After the admitted the file was lost, the reapplication process was quick and went through OK. If they had informed him his file was lost earlier, it would have saved a good 5 years.

  26. Hey friends…. this post will surely be a non-sequitur considering i’m prolly breaking from protocol by adding it in the middle of a different discussion thread. please forgive me, i am merely a guitar player.

    anwyay… throws would like to send-out a hearty ‘thanks’ to all the sepia mutiny crew, for the wonderful comments and the kind words (minus the M.Night references, WTF?). Anyway… SM posts have resulted in us meeting a number of cool people, and selling some records as well.

    Thanks esp. to Abhi and Taz for support and positivity… it really makes a difference.

    kiss kiss, the throws.