Clearly, some of you were good little boys and girls in your youth. That means that you are conditioned to associate the words “uncle”/ “auntie” and the vernacular with respect. You can’t help it. If this was just Plain Jane, the 50 year old down the street, you might be polite and pleasant, but if somebody who calls herself Bunty Auntie starts speaking to you in your mother tongue, you snap to like a pointer.
This account comes from Sleepy’s blog “Watching the Sun” but I’ll bet you have your own auntie experiences:
One morning, while back, it was 4am and I had been asleep for fifteen minutes. I was woken up by a phone call and I was a little, I don’t know, pissed off?Me: (barely making sense through all that incredibly righteous indignation) Hello?!
Her: Hello Beta, this is Shabnam aunty!
I usually tend to wake up very quickly when someone calls herself aunty and speaks in Hindi/Punjabi/any language my twisted little psyche associates with authority. Seriously, wouldn’t you? For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out whether I knew Shabnam aunty, but I wasn’t too surprised, my mom often makes friends who call me at random times to you know, chat. [Link]
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p>Now me, I would have just hung up. Uncle, Auntie, I don’t care. Don’t call me at 4AM unless you’re blood of some sort, a close personal friend, or an early morning booty call [the last was added after Jeet reminded me of such things 
]. But an auntie I’ve never heard of? Clearly, Sleepy is made up of sugar and spice and everything nice and I am not because she continued the conversation:
Me: Um Hi?
Her: How are you Beta?
Me: Good aunty, how are you?
Her: I’m fine beta, give the phone to mummy now.
Me: ????????? Um, aunty, mom’s at home, not here.
Her: hahahahhahahah, so cute.
Me: (o.k., seriously, wtf?! and I start talking in Hindi as well, cuz you know, maybe she’ll believe me) She’s at home, do you want her number?
Her: Enough now beta, give the phone to mummy. (All stern like, velvet glove/iron fist stuff, which ya know, doesn’t sit well with me, ever)
Me: Mummy isn’t here.
Her: Are you making fun of Shabnam Aunty Beta? That’s not very nice. (o.k., this is what she said, Beta, aap Shabnam aunty ka mazaak uda rahein hain? Bilkul theek baat nahin hai. It was like she was flirting with me )
So yeah, we went for a few more rounds and then I hung up. ON. AN. AUNTY. [Link]
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p>The next morning, of course, Sleepy felt remorseful:
I don’t know, probably shouldn’t have hung up on her because what likely happened is that she called the right number and chewed out right number’s children for being cheeky, obnoxious heathens. And then had the kid’s mom chew them out, and the dad, and the grandma etc. etc. And then they probably got chewed out for bringing shame on the family cuz Shabnam aunty’s very fond of gossip… [Link]
Personally, I don’t get it. Maybe it was my particular family upbringing, maybe it’s because I’m a boy, maybe it’s because I’m just too much of a coconut. I understand what Sleepy is saying, and while I think of myself as being reasonably nice, the title “uncle” or “auntie” just doesn’t cut any ice with me. Will I be going to a hell that I don’t believe in, populated solely by aunties bent on making me miserable? How many of you salivate automatically when this particular bell rings?
Phew thanx for the clarification man! 🙂
ennis, i think you shd clarify whether by “aunty” you mean any random desi ladies who are older than you, or people who actually are family (and/or family friends).
because you can hang up on the former, but with the latter, it might result in mahabharat II…
This is hilarious.
JOAT –
Go easy on that next door aunty. She is most likely very lonely, probably assumes you may be too, and on the pretext, offered you friendship.
Though I know what you mean – give them an inch and they WILL take a mile.
This was one of the reasons I left India. I found it hard to maintain a personal, private life there.
It’s difficult because if you open up to them and extend friendship – they can take over your life and start advising you on how to act within the parameters of what they deem “indian culture”, and then if you keep a respectful distance, they think you are being cold and rude and you may have to go without a helping hand when in need or a hot homemade meal when you are sick.
Boundaries are blurred.
That being said, I bet that aunty next to you was really hurt when she knocked on your door and you did not answer even though you were home. Could it be possible to invite her in for a five minute chat and then say something like, “aunty, I’ll be spending the night at my boyfriend’s tonite so I have to get ready and go?” Seems like that kind of statement would show her that you are a woman who lives on her own terms and is open about it and thus closed to any kind of prying and advice on how a single Indian woman should act.
That’s kind of what I did during my last tenure in India, I acted really bold, but nice, and it kind of put up a natural barrier between me and the aunty types, but still left room for some exchange – on my terms. When they see you might be vulnerable and “shame based” (more on that below), you are prey for them and the cultural police. However, a very straightforward, bold and unashamed woman kind of throws them off kilter and they don’t know exactly how to react to that, so they don’t.
It works.
Regarding comments 45 by Beige Seige and 52 by Amitabh –
It’s all about shame-based cultures versus guilt-based cultures. Something I though alot about during my years in India. I went there guilt-based and came out shame-based, to the point where just recently when me and my bf were purchasing condoms I had the exact same reaction you did above when I saw the cashier was an Indian man, not even an old one. I totally ran out of that store and left my bf to take care of the rest. And was thanking god that I did not know this man and that he did not know I had any contact with India or was practicing an “Indian” religion.
But for me, it is not limited to Indians. I do the same thing in regards to non-Indian people over 60ish. I tend to act more shame-based and conservative in front of old people of any background because I am sensitive to the fact that they grew up in a different era when morals were different and American culture was also more shame-based.
But for Indians I have no age limit. There’s a small, intimate, family run Indian restaurant here that I frequent and they know me now. I took a few different male friends there on occasion, though I was hesitant to do so each time. Just recently a new male friend asked me to take him there and my reply was, “they are a conservative family and everytime I go in there I’m with a different man, so it doesn’t look good.” He’s not even Indian and it was hard for him to “get it”, and I think he might’ve even been offended. Anyway, he waited in the car outside while I ordered take-out.
I just find the whole thing a bit disturbing that I’m carrying this shame-based baggage with me wherever I go now, because that was one of the reasons I left India – I couldn’t deal with this type of thing. And here I am superimposing the same stuff – UPON MY OWN SELF!!!
I see how it keeps me in a kind of immature, child-like state or mentality, where one feels one has to “sneak around” the authority figures. All of this and I’m in my thirties.
I’m not blaming anyone but myself for taking this on.
In addition to the above; another twist on the word “aunty”.
In the area of India where I resided it is not uncommon for young men to have their first sexual experiences with older married women. Hence, there IS INDEED an aunty fetish amongst them, and you will often here them chiding unknown 20-30 something women in the streets, especially if these women appear to be from out of town with a sultry-ish, “hello aaaaauuuuuuuuunnnnnnty”, and then a chuckle.
By the way, what does AILF mean? Is it aunty-in-law-fetish ?
Pardesi Gori, You need therapy. I don’t mean this in jest. Get help.
ack, my computer dies the day I’m outed as an aunty coward 🙂 Beige Sage, “This is one of those incidents that are seared into your memory though they have no real significance at all. I need a shrink.”
Join the club 😉
Sleepy! I was hoping you’d show up sooner or later, given that we are all discussing your post … Glad you could make it, even if you had to use the library computers …
PG – AILF is a variant of the term MILF. It is not related to the term ALF.
I have developed a foolproof system for avoiding the legitimate aunty calls – the will-you-drive-across-Toronto-to-save-me-five-cents-on-lemons calls. It’s called developing a reputation for incompetence. I happily agree – nay, volunteer – to take on such tasks, and then forget about them entirely. Within three or four reiterations of this approach, the aunty in question, should I volunteer, hopelessly rolls her eyes and says no, that she’ll manage, very kind of me, etc.
mwahahah.
I simply don’t believe in creating lies to avoid people. I believe in being up front and blunt so its honest and in the face. She hasn’t knocked on my door since she did it in the beginning when I moved in a few weeks ago. Every time I see her I do chat with her a bit and am respectful. She is well aware that I live on my own terms because she was all beside herself when she learnt I bought the place and I live alone. I’m not responsible for her lonliness and see no point in being bothered by it. Everytime she’s caught me I’m off somewhere and every single time she’ll make the same statement “Seems like have a lot of friends huh!” Yeah.
Pardesi Gori, So you think all of this is a result of shame? I don’t know, to me it could be a ton of things, respect for instance? A taxi cab driver you’re going to be around for 10 minutes maybe, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt him to see a PDA but do you really think it’s going to change his mind if it’s already made up? I don’t really think offending people’s sensibilities just for the sake of offending them is really that great a way to change people’s minds about anything. In some cases yes, being offensive will get a point across and in other cases, you give respect and surprisingly, you often get respect back. I disagree with my parents and older relatives on a ton of things and I’m certainly not ashamed of who I am, but I also try to have some respect and understanding for where they’re coming from…if I’m not losing anything by being respectful. I think we all know when there’s a case for standing up and fighting, and when there’s not really a reason to throw a hissy fit. I know couples who have nothing to do with South Asia, they still won’t start making out while sitting around with friends or parents. How does that fit in with the shame thing? If you think your actions stem from “shame” then yeah, that’s a problem. I just think it’s simplifying things a bit too far to take all these experiences and reducing them to the single feeling of shame. People are a little more complicated than that I think. o.k. I’m done. Shame, that word gets me every time 🙂
Holding someone’s hand or giving them a hug or light kiss is not disrespectful, nor is buying a condom, yet Amitabh, myself and Beige Sage all feel weird doing these things in front of elder Indians (them) and any-age Indians and any ethnicity old persons (me).
Yeah I think it’s shame coz otherwise if it was just a matter of respect, we would feel weird doing in front of anyone – regardless of age or ethnic background, if we really felt these things were disrespectful.
Clearly, the only way to change this is to stage large kiss-a-thons in places where aunties congregate. And snogfests in taxis.
‘Holding someone’s hand or giving them a hug or light kiss is not disrespectful, nor is buying a condom, yet Amitabh, myself and Beige Sage all feel weird doing these things in front of elder Indians (them) and any-age Indians and any ethnicity old persons (me)’
I appreciate your feelings. However this is not true for all of us neither are all older Indians prudish. This is demonstrated by the risque discussion taking place on this thread with the full knowledge that Yo Uncle is most likely around. Hey even his son is hawking AILF shirts here!. And this is certainly a very positive thing (at least to me). This filial chumminess is representative of that in many many households in India not just in that of Indian Americans.
PG, “nor is buying a condom”
I agree, no problems there. Even with my aunty phobia, it’s still important enough that I have no problems buying them from someone who looks like my mom. My point, people are different, let’s not assume we all act the same and feel the same. That’s why I put in that little part about it being a problem if we end up making important decisions motivated by feelings of shame.
am i living in bizarro-land, or does it seem that everytime PG says something it’s put under the microscope for antidesi stereoptypes, while she’s making no more a gerneralizaton than anyone else. what the hell does she need href=”http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/003828.html#comment90717″> therapy, for, b/c she’s acting a little neurotic around older desis like every other person on this thread? she’s doing that b/c she’s internalized desiness, obviously.
and the nitpicking comment about “shame”. would that even have registered if a brown person said it?
she probably repects and identifies with indian culture more than i do but is being asked to walk a tightrope as thin as dental floss.
All I know is that I’ve established a very firm boundary with aunties. The minute marriage comes up, I always ask them how their latest piece of family drama is playing out, or remind them of the last time a particular son/daughter-in-law was being bitched out to my long-suffering mother, and then tell them THAT’S why I don’t plan on getting married any time soon. If I’m really annoyed, I also point out that it’s not their business. And heavens preserve the aunty who’s like “you’ve gained weight”, because I have only one response: “I guess it happens to us all haan, aunti ji? You’ve definitely packed on some pounds around the stomach.” My mother’s started retreating rapidly (and taking me with her) when she senses one of those scenarios approaching.
I do tend, however, if unprovoked, to tone down my behaviour/language around the aunty/uncle crowd. Force of habit I guess. But I refuse to indulge them beyond the limits of polite behaviour, which does NOT include 3:00 a.m. phone calls.
I actually agree with comment # 69. I don’t get it when many here deride Pardesi Gori. I used to think she had some obnoxious history on this blog. Her comments usually include her honest observational takeaways in India. Even though her experience might not reflect the overall reality in India, I have never read her coming back at any of her detractors with reciprocal contempt.
Jilted,
Yeah PG takes it with grace. She deserves better treatment than she gets. She’s derided because she’s white, a newcomer, and says exactly what she thinks, whether it’s conventional or not.
Amitabh, what about calling the nice Gujarati lady ‘Didi’? (That works in Punjabi too, right?)
I got called Aunty by this hot eighteen year old in India once. I just know he wanted me. Probably had an AILF shirt and everything.
for that matter, there is this Gujarati lady who runs a convenience store near where I work, and she always says ‘Hi Amitabh’ whenever I walk in
You can always add “ji” after her name or just use “ji” in talking to her.
The ji term is not ageist.
Manju, “and the nitpicking comment about “shame”. would that even have registered if a brown person said it?”
Maybe it’s just me but that was kinda why I reacted the way I did, using a word as strong as shame (and I think it is a very strong word and maybe that’s where our differences lie?) to describe our everyday behaviours and actions does provoke a reaction. It usually didn’t take very long for someone to come up with self-hatred as a response to a brown person using it in class, it’s not right but it happens. Anyway, since I got a rep for being remorseful 🙂 and thinking better of things I’ve said, I do apologize to Pardesi Gori if I came across as nitpicky, that wasn’t the intention. I just think it’s a little excessive to take something as small as having issues buying condoms from an aunty and ascribing it to shame, but yeah, anyway it’s one of my many pet peeves 🙂
Actually, that usage of shame, in terms of shame vs. guilt cultures, is an academic one. The idea is that shame cultures are driven more by concerns about reputation, whereas guilt cultures are driven more by concerns about absolute rights and wrongs. I think PG was adapting that here, saying that our actions towards Aunties and Uncles have less to do with our absolute sense of what people older than us deserve and more to do with particular social codes.
On a tangential note – I have noticed (at a couple of parties and ‘functions’) that people who normally speak with Canadian/American accents switch to a more Indian-sounding one when talking to uncles and aunties. I don’t have much contact with uncles/aunties myself, but I’ve noticed that I tend to Indianize my accent a bit, when I do. I wonder if it’s some sort of vestigial sign of respect.
In the area of India where I resided it is not uncommon for young men to have their first sexual experiences with older married women. Hence, there IS INDEED an aunty fetish amongst them, and you will often here them chiding unknown 20-30 something women in the streets, especially if these women appear to be from out of town with a sultry-ish, “hello aaaaauuuuuuuuunnnnnnty”, and then a chuckle.
DQ, Jilted and Manju I am one of those who has put down PG with some not-so-kind words. So guilty as charged. However if you take a look at some of her observations(including the one above), they irritate me helluva lot. They are very prejudical and do not reflect the reality that is India. Indeed, her India is one of snake charmers and elephants.
Now to the assertion that she doen’t respond to these put-downs. I think her sole purpose is to come on this board and irritate people like myself by throwing out these archaic comments that insult Indian society. She probably gets a chuckle out of our frustrated responses. Sometimes I wonder why someone who detests India and Indian society spends so much time on this board.
I once called a fat bald desi dude “uncle.” He turned out to be one year older than me. Thank god he wasn’t an aunty. although, i once made the classic “when are you due” mistake.
Manju, There is a term EPND-Ever Pregnant No Delivery which is used to describe such fat pot-bellied uncles.
DesiDawg:
the example you give of PG’s offensiveness is a case in point for me too. I read it before you objected, and saw no offense at all. As far as I know it’s not a stereotype and vaguely negative at best, but I can’t speak to it’s accuracy. I suppose blacks and hispanics have been stereotyped as hyper-sexual, but indians? although, to my eyes, everyone seems pretty horny in india, but i thought that was because i was brown in brownland as oppossed to brown in whiteland. still, it’s no venezuala.
my guess is that if you’re part of the tribe (geneticly) you’re allowed to make these observations. i recall an indian friend of mine saying that all the “society” housewifes in dehli were having affairs and no one in the group objected. I suppose this observation may have a different twist if he were white.
I guess desi’s are like the Zoroastrians and Jews. Thank god you can become an American in a day.
In the area of India where I resided it is not uncommon for young men to have their first sexual experiences with older married women. Hence, there IS INDEED an aunty fetish amongst them, and you will often here them chiding unknown 20-30 something women in the streets, especially if these women appear to be from out of town with a sultry-ish, “hello aaaaauuuuuuuuunnnnnnty”, and then a chuckle.
DQ, Jilted and Manju I am one of those who has put down PG with some not-so-kind words. So guilty as charged. However if you take a look at some of her observations(including the one above), they irritate me helluva lot. They are very prejudical and do not reflect the reality that is India. Indeed, her India is one of snake charmers and elephants
This is not entirely untrue. There is an element of truth to it. In those crowded gullis, extended families…little fun with an aunty goes easily unnoticed.
Also, about fifteen-twenty years ago, the codeword for girlfriend for the rest of the world was “cousin”. If somebody was seen or talked too much about a cousin, he/ she was really not a cousin. Today, that is not needed.
I think PG is more informed than most of the commenters here. Her intepretation might be deeply flawed often or she sees things with from her narrow viewpoint at times but she has a grasp on the fundamentals more than lot of them here.
Now, let me give a simple example, how many astute people harp on practice of Sati here while critiquing India/ Hinduism/ Indian culture on SM – a lot of them, sati this, sati that. Read on wikipedia about Sati was really prevalent in its heyday (~ 1% of widows) and since 1947, they have been only 40 cases reported. Now compare such thing to Jonestown or David Koresh’s Waco. It is just an example to show that we give a lot of browns a free pass for their ignorance. Consistency, man.
In the comment above, this part was quote from PG, and DesiDawg
lol!
I think PG is more informed than most of the commenters here. Her intepretation might be deeply flawed often or she sees things with from her narrow viewpoint at times but she has a grasp on the fundamentals more than lot of them here. Now, let me give a simple example, how many astute people harp on practice of Sati here while critiquing India/ Hinduism/ Indian culture on SM – a lot of them, sati this, sati that. Read on wikipedia about Sati was really prevalent in its heyday (~ 1% of widows) and since 1947, they have been only 40 cases reported. Now compare such thing to Jonestown or David Koresh’s Waco.It is just an example to show that we give a lot of browns a free pass for their ignorance. Consistency, man.
I dont understand your point?
This age/hierarchy thing is ideally supposed to work in reverse too…that is, those who are younger than you should be treated with kindness and sort of ‘looked after’, for lack of a better term. Those Pakistani oncologists I mentioned in post 36 all treat me like a younger brother. Once I got in a car accident with an older desi dude, it was totally my fault, and although I can’t say this with 100% certainty, I think because I was younger than him, his only concern seemed to be if I was OK or not. And when I find out how young some of you guys (BidiSmoker, Shruti, etc.) are it makes me less likely to be harsh in my responses to you if I disagree with you on something (although BidiSmoker would probably call that patronising). But actually, that is stupid of me, since age is not a factor on these blog discussions, we are all on the same playing field here, and once we engage in a discussion we have to treat each other as peers. Plus obviously we can’t all know every person’s age here. My point is that for those of us who were conditioned this way, age can be a powerful thing.
I dont understand your point?
It was an example of using past India/ South Asia to discuss the problems of present India/ South Asia.
Sometimes, over-blowing a particular problem out of proportion knowingly or unknowlingly.
All this was in the context that is not only PG who can be charged of orientalist.
Just a generic example.
Kush,
Your comments are always levelheaded and fairminded. PG-lynching has become an SM blood sport to the point that I suspect she’s taken on the symbolic role of the White Oppressor for some. Whether you agree or disagree with her (and for the most part I tend to strongly disagree with her views on India) her points have almost all been raised by other brown-skinned SM commenters.
I do it the “seinfeld” way where i ask them for them homephone so that i call them later or something. 😉 Manju uncle, thanks for the t-shirt. gross but funny
and yes i agree with PG about the “aunty-fetish” or bhabhi-fetish for that matter. Its not something to be proud of but it still happens.
Man, you know there’s nothing hotter than a kuri in a salwar kameez. An indian woman in her 30’s in a salwar………pure hotness, the hottest thing ever. And now if she’s got a guth, even hotter. And now if she’s speaking punjabi/hindi hotter still. And now, and this is my fantasy, if she’s making chai….hot
Yeh kya baat hain, Amitabh Uncle? I don’t need this either. I consciously throw down the gauntlet, so I don’t expect any coddling, only civility as a matter of reciprocity, because I’m usually civil. So unless you want me to address you as Amitabh Uncle, carry on as you have been 🙂
Oh ffs, DQ, please give the melodramatic tone a rest sometimes. I knew PG was not making things up to oppress us or whatever. She’s not White Oppressor, she’s a cross between White Ignorant and White Creepy. The fact that people respond to her is actually a testament to how much weight they’re giving her words. If she were considered nothing but a troll with nothing to contribute then no one would have responded. There was some truth to her comments, so people responded. I see nothing wrong with what sleepy said — it’s something she could have said to any desi person as well. Even when she makes sense, PG’s language and tone are hard to stomach on a blog were we value cultural orientation and a certain kind of discretion in the diction. In the end, all I can say is that PG has extensive knowledge of desi cultural performity, and very little about the actual desi mindset. Is that ok to say, or am I still oppressing the white woman?
ummm…. should she be barefoot and pregnant too?
Yes, all the hate piled on Pardesi Gori makes me sick.
Comment #56 by PG is great and I just don’t see why the “shame” thing was offensive. Fine “shame” might be a little broad – so simply qualify it! Or one of the meanings of what she says might be negative. But why does the most negative meaning always get assumed when she says it? Almost everyone else gets the benefit of the doubt. Pardesi Gori just writes a little differently from most people here – speaking more from personal experiences and less from abstract analysis. It’s true that she doesn’t state all this in her comments and they might appear too broad. So what? Others do that from time to time too.
Perhaps it helps to realize that most of her observations on desis are NOT about ABD’s or about other desis in the West. In fact, the context is not Western at all. So, please don’t view it through the same lens that a brown American would normally view the comments of an American (especially white American).
As for exotification by her, it’s not as broad as some make it out to be. Even if it is, fine, we can talk about it on that thread. Why does this scenario have to happen?- When she makes an excellent point on some other thread, somebody or the other will jump on it with “That’s Pardesi Gori again!”. I thought that was the point of all this anonymity – we deal with comments on a thread-by-thread basis and on their own merit. What does it matter who made it? Maybe it was the troll from yesterday’s thread. If today’s is great, we can just talk about it, can’t we?
As for people complaining about her changing her handle all the time, is it possible that it’s because of all the hatin’? Someone says that “Pardesi Gori” is offensive. Then she becomes “Natural mystic” or something else and people go “No. that ‘s really PG”.
Pardesi Gori’s perspective is unique. She clearly has been very observant while in India. She’s quite open about the things she dislikes about India . Many Indians also dislike many aspects of Indian culture. Maybe this comes from having to endure it (newsflash- there’s plenty about Indian culture that sucks). Not like that tourist who can visit, pick and choose what they like and be politely silent about what they hate.
“Cousin”, Kush? Heehee. The main benefit of claiming cousinhood was that cousins can be distant and no one could know whether the person was lying.
Sumiti,
If you were to imagine a desi guy in an achkan making you some tea after a long day….I would not begrudge you. Or a WASPy dude in a cardigan, or whatever. Its just an image. To me it has nothing to do with yoked domesticity. A Salwar Kameez, a guth, and making tea aren’t inherently images of suppresion to me. I guess you found a totally different meaning for my image than I intended. It was a light hearted comment. I guess it could be taken as you assumed, but that’s not the way I wrote it. Wear what you want and don’t give an f what I like. Seriously I don’t mind for a second. Wear a tiara, wear some $500 shoes, wear sandals, wear those little white skirts, wear a burqa, whatever you want
BTW, sorry for the pissy tone. Unless you were being pissy. In which case, I don’t want beef anyway. If anyone needs help liberating themselves from patriarchy, I am down to the extent as a dude I am able to get it. for real
got it… i made that comment bc i keep coming across guys who claim to be libertarians but still carry the domesticated wife fantasy not realizing the deep rooted patriarchy in their thinking.
anyhoo, truce!
Nah, I think although I do want the familiarity of some of the aspects of the desi household, I also would not want to be in an unequal relationship. I can’t explain the guth thing, it might be a Punjabi theme. I do like chai, and the image is kind of intimate…making tea and all. Anyway, truce honored!
Sahej, what’s a guth?
Shruti, I may be a Dharma Queen but I wasn’t being melodramatic or singling you out in some way. Beta. Maybe you were the one making white oppression noises, I dunno, but it seems to have been coming from all directions. And no one’s arguing PG was being oppressed (except maybe PG) -I’m saying she was being straight out lynched. No time for oppression.
Sumiti, yeah I briefly dated this Bangladeshi guy who told me his most romantic fantasy was based on this desi movie moment where a couple is giving a house party, the guy is in the living room entertaining the guests, his wife is getting a tray out of the oven, and their eyes meet. Bleh.
It means ponytail as in lumbi theri guth, they lal theri parandi 😉
BTW…..your bf’s fantasy could well have included that you and him were a team and had a bunch of nice warm friends over. And maybe their eyes meet so they could plan their rogering when the party was over…. Its at least possible
Hmm Sahej, what exactly do you mean by ‘team’ and ‘nice warm friends’?…you’re making me regret I didn’t stick around for details…
Dharma,
Why not let your mind should wander over the possibilities…