There are times when I feel desperately ashamed of my community/communities (Desi/Punjabi/Sikh). I realize this is just one side of the story we’re hearing, and that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but it is all too believable and makes my blood run cold.
This is the story of 27 year old Navjeet Siddhu from Southall, who committed suicide by jumping in front of a 100mph Heathrow Express train. Not only did she jump, but she jumped carrying her two children.
She suffered from depression, which began when she gave birth to a daughter rather than a son. Her condition became worse after her husband, Manjit, who left her to return to his native India, said that he would come back home only if he did not have to do any household chores. [Link]
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p>Navjeet Siddhu and her daughter Simran died instantly. Her son, Aman Raj, died in the hospital 2 hours later. To add to the carnage, Navjeet’s mother, 56 year old Satwant Kaur Sodhi, committed suicide at the same spot six months later.
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p>Navjeet Siddhu died back in August of 2005, but the inquest into the incident is just now being held, hence the news attention. The husband comes off as hideously callous in news stories:
The court was told how Mr Sidhu, who arrived six minutes after the incident at Southall station, walked past the bodies of his wife and five-year-old daughter, Simran, to pick up the body of his 23-month-old son, Aman Raj, and take him to hospital. [Link]
It’s possible that his actions had a rational explanation – that Aman Raj was the only one who looked like he would survive – it’s hard to tell without having his side of the story. We really shouldn’t prejudge her husband based on such flimsy evidence. However, even if this account is a media fiction, this sort of thing is far too common and that makes it easier to believe that it might have happened.
Uh huh. Rave on, buddy. The impact is so obvious its pathetic. But fun – for me.
(Just musing to myself, Rajni, no worries…)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southall
DQ, was that directed to me?
Generalize from men and you’ll have an answer. As a guy have you always been attracted to the most sidi sadi girl, who will take care of you and love you foreva and eva? Maybe, by the time you’re 30. On the other hand, what if someone is considered to be someone who knows what the want, is able to take a few risks, is enjoying life, and isn’t asking for a life-time commitment? I guess choose who you want to be and see how that works out because asking other people to find you attractive because you somehow know whats good for them ain’t gonna make the tomato sauce. And also, all the nice guys out there, if you want a nice girl, then you’re alright, but if you yourself overlook all the nice girls out there, what have you to complain about? Have you ever thought of all the nice girls pining for a decent guy, who overlook the badmaash guys waiting for someone good? They are out there too. Final thing, passivity is not the same as “nice”
HMF –
Don’t worry about touching my feet – I’m elder to you so it’s ok. See it as a sign of reverence and respect for an “aunty”.
I take it you are somewhere between 18 to 24ish.
Just like nice dude asserted above, men and women change as they age.
If you are mature, settled within yourself, nice and sincere, maybe you should try to date women in their late twenties to mid-thirties, if you are finding the women in your age group are not appreciative of “nice guys”.
Course not, HMF. You’re okay and also very funny.
It was directed at the individual who shall henceforth remain nameless.
Rajni never asked me not to address the individual-who-shall-henceforth-remain-nameless’ poodle, so: It is also hard to respect someone whose diction is pre-adolescent at best and who derives all her opinions from the latest issue of Cosmo. Pardesi/Mystic wins HANDS DOWN over you.
Love and kisses to all, From the Dharma Bunker, Your own DQ
That’s it DQ, you and me JUST HAVE TO meet.
Pardesi, Woohoo! Let’s crash the next meetup together.
how the f**k did this get to 310 comments???
Simple. Tons of filler comments loaded with pompous stupidity.
In the beginning, people discussed the post. Then, after around 60 comments, it took on a life of it’s own. Once it did that, comments bred yet more comments, etc.
I think the “life of it’s own” started around post 46, to be exact.
I think the “life of it’s own” started around post 46, to be exact.
i wonder how many people stopped reading the comments after reading your drivel.
cough
“i wonder how many people stopped reading the comments after reading your drivel.”
The truly smart ones I’m sure stopped right away.
I wonder if HMF ever got his girl?
Dharma Queen:
What a mature, significant statement you made there. You are on notice, AGAIN. Your antics add no value to these threads. If you are the fierce, intelligent brown woman I suspect you actually are, then going forward, please type accordingly. My patience with you is running out; the chaos you bring to every thread you participate in inevitably damages it. Enough.
Intern or whoever-you-are, What rubbish. Why don’t you look at some of the other threads I’ve participated in (ie Pavlov Auntie, Brownz must speak English in the airport, Pecola etc.)- none of these have erupted into ‘chaos’. If you want to ban me, go ahead; it’ll prompt nothing in me but a laugh.
What’s rubbish is your awful attitude. It’s neither cute nor mutinous. Somewhere, deep inside of you, is a witty commenter who has a point or two worth listening to, but unfortunately for all of us, that Dharma Queen rarely deigns to visit.
Why can’t you just be less obnoxious? Isn’t it obvious we are trying NOT to ban you, hence the repeated requests for your cooperation? Or maybe that counts for nothing with you– if so, enjoy that giggle when you’re disinvited to the party. There’s a difference between being a provocateur and being a contrarian.
I’m coming back to this late, and it sounds like folks think there are too many comments, but I had to respond to the following comment:
“I am basing my opinion on the statistics and anecdotal evidence that comes out of INDIA, such as: the number of sex-based abortions that occur and are rising disproportionately in Punjab/Haryana.”
Again, why must we always ascribe behavior to the narrowest grounds of religious identity? Misogyny is not a uniquely Punjabi or Sikh failing, it exists throughout India. Sex-based abortion may happen disproportionately in Punjab precisely because of its relative prosperity: families there who are so inclined can afford the ultrasound and the abortion compared to people in other states. The motivation is cultural–and I mean Indian culture. No ethnic or religious minority (or majority, for that matter) has the market cornered on misogyny.
On a slightly different note, Pakistani Punjabis and Indian Punjabis may still have a lot in common (music, language, history) but the divergence that has taken place in the nearly sixty years after Partition is significant–just like you can’t generalize about the diasporic communities of Punjabis in the UK to the US or Canada, you can’t generalize about Punjabi culture across the Pakistani Muslim/Indian Sikh & Hindu divide. It’s outdated. At any rate, on a south asian site, it doesn’t seem useful to me to analyze one ethnic or religious group, especially since (I’m making an educated guess), most folks here aren’t experts on religious or ethnic groups outside their own.
Unfortunately the lack of help by men transcends all cultures. I’m caucasian and so is my husband. He was raised more conservatively than I had realized before we were married. He does very little housework, yet we both work Full Time and make equal salaries. We are both professionals. I’m not depressed, but extremely disgruntled. As far as the son goes…whats the deal? This use to go on in our culture (still does, but it is subliminal). Do men realize they are losing a population,, by discounting women. If anyone wonders how we came to have nuclear medicine and a host of other technologies read EMC2 on Amazon and you will see the importance of women and their brain power. We were not simply put on this earth to breed.