Who Is Still In Dallas?

Jennifer Lopez.JPG Abhi left a fluffy tip on our news tab, which indicated that the most famous rondure in Hollywood will no longer grace Gurinder Chadha’s (struggling?) remake of Dallas. Like I could let THAT go without a post:

Jennifer Lopez has dropped out of the big screen remake of the hit 1970s TV series ‘Dallas’.
The ‘Wedding Planner’ star was set to act opposite John Travolta in the movie to be directed by ‘Bend it like Beckham’ director Gurinder Chaddha.
Lopez had been cast for the role of Sue Ellen – the alcoholic wife of Travolta’s character JR Ewing.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, my parents loved to reminisce about how I’ve adored Dallas since I was a tot. According to them, and usually while at parties where the possibility for my humiliation is quite high, I used to hum the theme song to the ultimate primetime drama while standing in my crib, waiting for a parent to wake up. So I obviously dig the show sum’n fierce and only want the best for it. On the other hand, I must confess that to my undying shock, I have mildly enjoyed every movie I’ve seen which starred Jeniffer Lopez (four come immediately to mind: out, planner, maid, monster…). I know. I am wincing in anticipation of your derision.

My point is, I actually could see her as Sue Ellen Ewing. I wonder why she left? Is there trouble in Chadha-ville?

Lopez is not the only one to pull out of the movie, for ‘Legally BlondeÂ’ director Robert Luketic quit the project earlier this year citing “creative differences”.

Innnnnteresting. Incidentally, someone infamous ALSO opted out of this flick, which might just be the BiLB’s waterloo– I’ll give you a hint as to whom: “raccoon”

Paris Hilton has declined the offer to enact the character of Lucy Ewing in the upcoming Dallas movie, as she considers herself a novice in the field of acting…
“But the truth is the role is too demanding for me. I told them I need to make a few more smaller movies first, then take it from there,” she added.

Ugh. Guess what I have in common with the nocturnal omnivore?

“I was a huge fan of the show and never missed it when I was a kid – more for the hair and fashions than the storylines,” Contactmusic quoted the hotel heiress, as saying.

In other news, I am going to require confession for finding a certain part of the following paragraph so amusing:

Hilton launched her career in Hollywood with ‘House of Wax,’ but despite being lucky enough to bag such a prestigious role with only one hit in her kitty, the budding actress took no time in turning down the chance, as she wants to cut her teeth in smaller films before she hits the blockbusters.

Perhaps the Gurinder should stick to films where ve brown vomen get rescued by the not-brown man?

30 thoughts on “Who Is Still In Dallas?

  1. quoted the hotel heiress, as saying

    That sure is a peculiar way of spelling “crazy slut.”

    with only one hit in her kitty

    Oh yeah? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  2. I will watch anything with Jlo just for her kundi (cant believe i just said that word, picture a punjabi guy saying kundi). Wanda Sykes made monster bearable and also the comment from Lopez, “I’ve got two asses”.

    Anyway i think the rumour is that she is pregnant which is why she wont be able to play this role.

  3. JLo is completely wrong for the role anyway — I say Glenn Close for Sue Ellen!!!

    Badmash, you know I heart you, but…what? Sorry, what I meant to say was WHAT?????

    GLENN CLOSE? If we’re playing that game, why not Meryl Streep? Either actress is like using a Ferrari to pick up your dry cleaning…

    😉

  4. This post is BORING.

    How DARE you! Do you not know the ways of the Sepia? Ignorant FOOL! You must kiss blogger ass with every comment! Resistance, confrontation and criticism are CAPITAL OFFENSES. I will hunt you down, delete you and then ban your IP…and if SM bans and deletes you, then really, do you still exist? Obviously not.

    You have NO RIGHT to make such treasonous statements. There is no freedom of speech here. I will not stand for application of such useless concepts in this private realm. WE ARE NOT BORING! Besides, I work 113-hour weeks and I DON’T GET PAID FOR THIS SHIT. You ungrateful cur. BOW DOWN BEFORE MY MUTINOUSNESS, BITCH!

  5. My eighteen month-old niece said her very first sentence today: “Evil Abhi is a boring bitch!”

    And I was like, oh my God! Language! I mean, just where does a two year old pick up words like “Abhi”?

  6. And I was like, oh my God! Language! I mean, just where does a two year old pick up words like “Abhi”?

    Where, indeed. So Kobayashi-san, did they wash her mouth out with soap or did they use the tabasco method like we do here in the South?

  7. If Gurinder Chaddha is in the bidness of remaking 80s TV shows, I dare her to do this one next.

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Think of the children!

  8. It was started and stopped. I don’t know why??

    The line-up back then was B.A. BARACUS – VING RHAMES H.M “MADMAN” MURDOCK – JIM CARREY TEMPLETON “FACE” PECK – CHRISTIAN BALE HANNIBAL SMITH – MEL GIBSON

    Personally I always though that the best Hannibal would be Clooney and the best Face Brad Pitt (no pun intended). The last I heard they were writing a script in ’04 and IMDB has a 2006 release that doesn’t look like it will happen or is even being made. Won’t anyone step up and make this film which needs to be made? My question is though will the A-Team continue to shoot above people’s heads and at their feet or will they get to kill some bad guys.

    On a more important note WHEN will the make McGuyver into a movie. I’d give my first born for that!

  9. Wow, Abhi…I had no idea. I actually loved the casting until it came to Mel Gibson– I agree, Clooney would be a perfect Hannibal. But, I part ways over Pitt; I could see Bale as the Face. 🙂

  10. Gibson would be a better Hannibal, and George Peppard was a drunkard in real life as well. Clooney is a close 2nd for Hannibal. The movie will only be good if it stays true to the original, no one dies. Brandon Routh might make a good faceman too.

  11. No, you need a personality and charm to play face. Routh didn’t demonstrate either in Superman. I think Josh Duhamel could do it.

    In order to make this convo relevant we need to come up with a desi actor for each part 🙂

  12. Honestly. It’s too hard, the original characters are so fused with those actors, it’s too hard to separate them. Josh Duhamel is from the show Las Vegas, I think, I could see him as the faceman. He’s my least fav character anyway.

    Ok a D-team? Here’s the best I could come up with

    Hannibal – Naseruddin Shah BA – anyone I say won’t be good enough, but that dude who played Gabbar Singh, maybe? Face – Shahrukh Khan Murdock – Hrithik Roshan (he played that mentally handicapped character ok I guess)

  13. Gibson would be a better Hannibal, and George Peppard was a drunkard in real life as well.

    Only problem is Gibson would insist that the villians all should be Jews…

  14. I think Josh Duhamel could do it. Josh Duhamel is from the show Las Vegas,

    Good to see some people here familar with Las Vegas. I quite like that show. Slick, glamorous, slightly-shallow, but lots of fun. (If you like Las Vegas, I recommend you try to catch a British show called Hustle too. Different setting, but same basic vibe, especially if you enjoyed Ocean’s Eleven).

    I think the guy who plays Sawyer in Lost might be a good choice as “Face”, assuming he was cleaned up a bit (hair/stubble etc). I certainly think he would have been brilliant as Starbuck in the new Battlestar Galactica if they’d decided to stick with a male version of the character, and (in my view, anyway) he would have been a superb successor to Don Johnson as Sonny Crocket in the new Miami Vice movie.

  15. I heard that the reason that J.Lo pulled out was because she’s doing a movie called “Bordertown” and her new agent says that she shouldn’t do Dallas because “Bordertown” will win her an Oscar Nom…. and honestly, I sort of believe that reason for her pulling out.

  16. I thought JLo was the sexiest woman alive until I saw Anna’s mug on SM’s homepage.

  17. Gurinder’s basically just a very mediocre filmmaker who got lucky with “Bend it Like Beckham.”

    That said, I’d want someone who can respect the tradition of camp and soap opera to take on “Dallas.” And thank god J.Lo’s out — I say bring in someone like Charisma Carpenter who’s truly capable of bitchy alcoholism and hasn’t become an overexposed blah in Hollywood.

  18. Was anyone else thinking that J.Lo looks quite a bit like Liz Hurley (who is marrying a desi btw)?