It was my intention to go out in Style&Snark, involving some kind of LiveBloggingEvent or Recap of Priya&Divya’s Super Sweet 16. But in light of Tuesday’s gripping events on a subcontinent where the Innocent&Hardworking cram 15-per-square meter traveling to and from work in order to put food on the table in the pursuit of better tomorrows, the trivial voyeuristic judgment of affluent, ill-mannered, hyphenated-American teenagers and the parents who indulge them suddenly seemed all the more irrelevant.
In my Sepia denouement, it seemed appropriate to disclose one small confession: I’m scared of Indians. Like, terrified. Like, if everyone in the last comment thread was standing together in a room, it would take me several cocktails to muster the courage to enter. And one of those cocktails would probably have to include some ratio of 151.
Seriously. I’m scared of NetSAP, I’m scared of ISAs, I’m scared of regional conventions where everyone always seems to know each other but me. I’m scared of any organization that starts out “South Asian” and ends in “Association”. To that end, even from the safety of my pseudonym, it’s been slightly intimidating to write for a cast of anonymous brown thousands, always gripped by terror after I hit Post that my voice won’t resonate with the masses.
But over the course of my 30 days in this sepia-colored universe, I realized with some amount of humor and irony that despite my irrational fears — whether it wants me or I want it — this hyphenated-community is one of the only groups I’ll ever truly belong to; and certainly the only one that intrinsically understands the use of singular instead of plural (“Let me put my pant and shoe and come.”), plural instead of singular (“Good lucks on your maths test!”), and that some sentences just sound better in full-on Indian accents (“It’s paining!”). Three things central to the essence of who I am.
And so, with my secrets confessed, my awareness heightened, my insecurities challenged, I raise my glass to TheBloggers, TheBunkerMasters, TheAlumni, TheMutiny.
I’ll be managing my e-dive over on Typepad where — especially for you, my fellow residents of BrownTown — DrinkSpecials at Love&Haterade are always on the house.
It can’t already be time to leave us! My heart…oh, it is paining, paining.
A K K A: Let’s go drown our sorrows in a salt lassi.
You’re so on. Wear glitter or I’m your designated hitter.
Anu Malik should rot in hell for that song. Its been stuck in my head since the ’90s.
How the time flies, Barmaid. Best of luck to you!
So soon? Sadness is coming coming, when just like that you are going going. Salue Barmaid, for facing your fears and writing kickass posts!
I’ve been largely absent on the comments scene, but I have really really enjoyed your posts. Will be following you on your blog 😛
you will be missed… but i’ll still swing by your blog, love your wit and wisdom. will look forward to seeing your first novel… hmm… will that make you the next GoPIG (great-on-paper-indian-girl).
I quote Anna
Although I cannot claim to have read every post, I did manage to catch a few.
Will finish it soon and join you for the drinks specials on the other side.
thanks for the time spent here barmaid. it was fun while it lasted
Thanks for the great posts here. I’ll now be a regular lurker on your blog as well. Best of luck!
Already?! damn.
-and I so would have enjoyed your analysis on “Priya & Divya’s Super Sweet Sixteen”. Divya needs to slap the shit out of Priya. nuff said.
You are the olive in my dirty.
Oh wow, girl…if you’re woman enough to confess it and write anyway, then why am I so silent?
You inspire me.
What? Already over?? Noooooooooooooooo!
Thank goodness for L&H – downed it one long gulp…so refreshing.
Count me as a regular. 🙂
BarMaid, your “Ode to…” posts were two of the bests I’ve ever read on this site. Thanks and I hope to read more from you.
Thanks for all the virtual booze!
I guess I started lurking on this blog right as you started writing on it! One of the first posts I read here was The Curves |swee..et| Will definitely drop in at the bar sometimes. Thanks for the posts.
“IÂ’m scared of ISAs, IÂ’m scared of regional conventions where everyone always seems to know each other but me. IÂ’m scared of any organization that starts out “South Asian” and ends in “Association”. “
Wait…you too? I feel like I’m part of an association or something now, It gives me motivation to go to the ISA black and white party. Insane cover and iffy booze, here I come 🙂 The Aunty posts were great, so very very true.
…there is a certain eloquece about you…your words…keep it going !
I’ll miss your posts here at SM, but my peace of mind lies in knowing I’ve got L&H bookmarked. Keep us tipsy!
Yeah right – a med student who’s made anxious by desi folk? That’s like a trapeze artist who is afraid of heights!
echoing Tarana as well, cheers to you Barmaid..I will break out the 25 yr old, pretentious, amazing, The Glenlivet for you…cheers!
“Yeah right – a med student who’s made anxious by desi folk? That’s like a trapeze artist who is afraid of heights!”
It happens… last time I went to an ISA thingy I got suckered into prancing around to Dola re in front of actual PEOPLE. You should see how I get around desi doctors, that’s anxiety 🙂
Ummm, yeah I read the whole damn thing too.
Good luck. I am sure a book deal is already in the works…
Me three. I can’t wait for your first book.
Me four. I saved all your archived posts on my laptop, so i could finish it on the plane while flying home.
I loved your posts. I wish you were part of the SM team. ….Is that not possible?
Funnily enough, and I say this as someone who hasn’t been hypenated ever, I also feel scared in a room full of Indians. Nothing intra-racist (dont you diasporic Americans have a term for this?) about it, just scared I’ll meet my dad/mom’s-friend’s-brother’s-cousin’s-daughter’s-first-great-uncle’s-second-grand-daughter. That’d suck.
Can’t say “Good to have you here”, seeing as it is that this user name has a post count of exactly one, but let’s just say you have another lurker on your blog. Best wishes!
TheBarmaid,
Best of luck for your future endeavours and thank you for your excellent posts, both the “Auntie” ones and “The Curves…..”
The last one of course gave me far too much material for alleged humour, but I guess some topics are just too eye-catching to be contained, and once you get a feel for the subject matter you have to squeeze as much as you can out of it.
Have an Appletini on me 😉
I loved all your posts, esp. the two Aunties, and loved your blog before you stepped onto our Indian-associationed shores.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only Indian who’s scared of other Indians 😛
But I know there are many more who’ll be waiting for the next pearl of wisdon from Lester over at L&H…
It is indeed sad to see you put off the light on your times at SM, but alvays know you hawe many a fan who has surprised themselves at reading the archives of your amazingly well-written blog 🙂
seriously. Aunties and tech-transplanted FOB wives unnerve me.
Bairmaid – Thanks for the great posts.
I laud her. I laud her.
jaam chaka