Monthly Archives: June 2006

The Curves of Cheating (Or Can A WonderBra Help You Pass A Maths Test?)

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Ladies: Sure our bras can push-in, push-up and push-out…create curves and decolletage where there might not have been otherwise…support us steadfastly through athletic events, bad days at work and first dates alike…and, by sheer ergonomic design, make us sinfully sexy seductresses in the crucial moments when it matters most but, as ever-prepared, forward-thinking members of the Mutiny, let’s get down to brass tacks — what can it really do to help advance our studies?

Just ask Ashish, a telecommunications graduate from India’s Pune University. He was caught cheating on his final-year exam – he diagrammed an elaborate electronic circuit on the underside of his calculator – and kicked out. But he returned and passed the next term, and freely admits to cheating on most tests at university.

“Cheating sounds too grave,” he says, insisting that his family name not be printed. “Everyone does it.” He has written formulas on his ruler and smuggled notes up his sleeves and inside his shoes. Women have it easier, he claims, as modesty affords protection. “If I were a woman, I’d try smuggling them in my bra,” he says.

LINK

I find this great for several reasons. Continue reading →

Fear of a brown planet, 21 Billion strong

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A month ago the Washington Post reported that:

Nearly half of the nation’s children under 5 are racial or ethnic minorities, and the percentage is increasing mainly because the Hispanic population is growing so rapidly [Link]

Gandhi was once asked what he thought about Western civilization. “I think,” he replied, “it would be a very good idea.”

This news sent the right-wingnuts into conniptions [Thanks Saheli]. The next day, John Gibson, the host of Fox News’ “The Big Story” told his (largely white) viewers to:

“Do your duty. Make more babies… You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic.” [Link] [Video clip].

He later stuffed his foot further into his mouth by “explaining” that he was not bigotted against Hispanics, but instead, against Muslims (and all non-Christians by implication):

“My concern was simply that I didn’t want America to become Europe, where the birth rate is so low the continent is fast being populated by immigrants, mainly from Muslim countries, whose birth rate is very high … I said … it was also a good idea if people other than Hispanics also got busy and have more babies. Those people would include both blacks and whites. I suppose Asians, too… 50 years from now, Europe will be brown and Muslim, and America will be brown and Christian. I am fine with that, America, and I’ve said so many times. I’d rather live with the Christians here than live … under Sharia law in Europe” [Link]

Notice his ambivalence about Asians, even though he’s probably thinking of the yellow kind, many of whom are Christian. What might he feel about the brown kind, many of whom are neither Christian nor Muslim? And will he have a heart attack if he sees the latest brilliant inaccuracy from the TOI which states that:

The Indian diaspora is estimated at 20 billion. [Link]

As Manish points out, “the earth’s population is around 6.5 billion today,” which means the desi diaspora is over 300% of the world’s population. Getting scared yet, Mr. Gibson?

The moral of the story? Get your news from an accurate source and you’ll sleep at night

Continue reading →

The Mutiny Rolls On

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…and we’re back! You’re reading this now and so you’ve made it over to our new home.

Welcome to the new and improved Mutiny. If everything looks exactly as it did before, then we’ve done our jobs well.

While the other Mutineers are busy fighting over bathrooms and the most luxuriously appointed living quarters, Kunjan and I will be napping blissfully in our king-size master suites (having arrived first, we naturally staked out the prime real estate in advance).

Thanks for your patience during this transition and please let us know if you notice anything strange. Continue reading →

Apu-calypse Now!

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It’s probably not a surprise that I’m a Simpsons fanatic, and have been since the first days (we collected Matt Groening cartoons in junior high) but it was the evolution of the character of Apu that really clinched it for me.

Now, the first reaction upon encountering or hearing about Apu Nahasapeemapetalan is invariably a groan–yet another stereotypical 7-11 manager/operator–whether when he debuted, or today. But Apu evolved, as most Simpsons’ characters, into someone complex, worthy of both ridicule and empathy. He has a PhD, entered into an arranged marriage (but not before a stint as Springfield’s most happening bachelor, Trans Am and all) with the witty Manjula, sired octoplets, revealed his veganism and his illegal immigrant status, which he fixed by getting that long-awaited H-1 Visa. His worst sins are quirky saying in accented English, his two instances of infidelity to his wife and a tendency to overcharge (nothing compared to miser Mr.Burns or desperate Moe). Despite repeated attempts to run away from the overwhelming demands of his family of octoplets, Apu remains an excellent vehicle for Simpsons writers to explore desi issues. I highly recommend Wikipedia’s detailed biography of Apu here.

But Apu was absent in the most recent Simpsons exploration of desi culture, when Homer gets outsourced to India. Desi culture has become too big even for Apu. Continue reading →

Admin Note: We’re shifting bunkers (servers)

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sepia_bunker.jpg If there’s one thing we here at the Mutiny have learned from our peers, it’s how to roll in style. After all, what’s the point of being a super-secret group of revolutionaries, if you don’t take full advantage of the perks. So while our tendencies still most definitely gravitate towards Cristal and Beluga, the truth of the matter is that recent growth has left more than a little to be desired in our present diggs.

A stagnant mutiny is a dead mutiny, and so it is that we are moving on to a bigger, phatter and more secure crib… still, of course, somewhere deep in the heart of North Dakota. We’ve been busy packing, the monkeys are ready, and tonight, at the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, Sepia… (eh, sorry.. got a little carried away there).

We will be transitioning to a new server tonight at midnight (Tuesday, 12:00AM EST) and depending on where on the internet you call home, the changes could take as long as 24 hours or more to take effect, but for the majority of you, things should be back to normal by the time you get to work on Tuesday morning. In the meantime, you will see a read-only version of the site with comments turned off.

Rest assured, the Mutiny will be back, stronger than ever… plus, we’ve just now learned that the North Dakota historical society has designated our current home a state monument which will be open to visitors beginning next month. Continue reading →

Cricket v. Soccer, Intellectuals, and the Male Physique

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Dhoni.jpg There was a funny but true quote from a woman interviewed for this article (thanks, Technophobicgeek) on World Cup mania in India:

A young woman sold on soccer pointed out: “I like soccer because the men playing the sport are strong, fit, aggressive and much better-looking. Cricketers on the other hand are softies in comparison, and it is quite incomprehensible how 10 people can just stand and watch while one bowls and the other bats,” she argued.

In her view, the only exception is Dhoni, who combines strength with sensitive looks and style, the ultimate Beckhamesque combination. She said Dhoni started off being a soccer player, in any case. (link)

My significant other, who is very knowledgeable on these matters, agrees on the question of the appeal of cricketers vs. soccer players. (The question of which sport is better may be a different matter, of course.) The article also mentions the predicted 150 million (cumulative) Indian viewers for the games, which will be broadcast in Hindi all over the country, bringing in scads of advertising revenue. And incidentally, the “Dhoni” the interviewee mentions is Mahindra Singh Dhoni, and he’s the most eligible batchelor in Jharkand, apparently (also, pictured right). A bit Beckhamesque, is he not?

There’s a similar comment (minus the cricket) in a Slate piece by Bryan Curtis where he explains why intellectual American men seem to be drawn to soccer. Part of it is that they’re (ok we’re) “internationalist” coffee-drinking, Richard Linklater-worshipping poseurs, of course. But maybe it also has to do with this:

In a weak moment, the soccer intellectual might even admit that the sport’s stars are aspirational male role models. Most soccer players are not human grotesqueries like NFL stars or attenuated beanpoles like NBA players. They’re possessed of attainable physiques, strong and compact—the kind that might impress intellectuals and the women who love them. (link)

Yes, I always prefer my sports to have aspirational role models — and maybe voiceless velar plosives as well. Continue reading →

Backstory: Don’t Mix Your Saffrons With Your Whites

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I realize that CSM staff photographer Andy Nelson was trying to make the outdoor laundries of New Delhi romantic and palatable to a highbrow, upper-crust Western audience. I do.

And when the Monitor hits the stands tomorrow, complete with the colorful photographic spread of hard-working countrymen like Harichand Kanojiya…

laundry.jpg

…I’m sure there’s part of me that will feel thrilled that these manual laborers who comprise such an essential vertebrae in India’s backbone got their due by way of a clever title and a thoughtful profile in a National Geographic kind of way.

But…

Continue reading →

The Mutiny Always Rings Twice

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And when, late on a weeknight, you are wakened by short, meaningful raps at the door and open it to find Anna in a hooded, velveteen robe, eyes dark and mysterious, blindfold in hand: you know your time has come and you follow without question.

She picks up your laptop and waits for you at the door, reminding you not to leave home without ample snark, a few good literary jabs and shimmery, sparkling eye makeup.

Your heart races. You swallow down parental warnings to avoid using fuck as a verb, drinking homemade punch out of crystal goblets handed to you by good-for-nothing “bois” and bringing sepia-colored Shame on the family.

You are sweaty-palmed and slightly nauseous over urban legends about hazing, mutinous readers and the potential for an unruly comment thread to turn into an impromptu session of Circle the Fat.

But mostly, you feel jittery and excited. Hoping against hope as she blindfolds you, that when the cool, silky fabric is ultimately removed you’ll find yourself at the intersection of Good Storytelling, Meaningful Prose and Cultural Context, but that until it is you have to go out on faith, friendship and sisterhood because you won’t know for sure till you get there what’s in store for you down the road ahead. Continue reading →

Guest Blogger: The Barmaid

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One of the things which fascinates me about this community of blogginess we inhabit is the randomness of connections and the chain of events which must transpire in order for someone to find blog X. Those of you who know me in real life know that this is a question I always pose, because before SM, I always wondered, “How on earth did you know I was alive?” The vast majority of the answers I’ve received boil down to three syllables: Manish Vij.

My FAVORITE new (to me) blog of the past year belongs to a fellow DCist and I would like to thank erstwhile SM regular and current legal eagle Maisnon for indirectly introducing me to one insightful and addictive personality: The Barmaid. I can’t imagine my life without one. 😉 She’s half-woman, half-amazing. Finding her exceptionally well-written blog resulted in one of the rarest activities I might choose to do: reading an entire archive. To get all power chord-y Aerosmith on your kundis, I didnÂ’t want to miss a thing. I think we can all agree that when you’ve forsaken all others and forgotten what it was that you were supposed to do because you are voraciously consuming someoneÂ’s back catalog, thatÂ’s a sign that youÂ’ve stumbled on to one hell of a blog.

Perhaps it would be easiest if I counted down the reasons why the most talented blogtender ever makes me reconsider my addiction to NYC (Yes. She single-handedly puts all the hotness in swamp city. And if you donÂ’t know, now you know):

10) She was a Theta, so she gets this DG‘s reliance on Greek speak (I almost rushed that house, so good taste on her). SheÂ’s like the grand-little I forever wanted and never had.

9) She, too, adores Amma. Respect her authority as she taxes the Dahi Vada before leaving for the Mysore Masala Dosa. Then fall a little bit in lurve as she matches you, cup for cup of Madras Coffee, at a Saturday morning brunch which is the closest IÂ’ve ever come to those unrealistic-to-me morning-ish meals which went down on every ep of Sex and The City.

8) She appreciates my powerful love for the wackiest news show on television: World News Now. Hail its wonderful weirdness with me even if its most recent source of brownitude is no longer holding court.

7) Malayalees do it better. 😉

6) Her drink specials are so tasty, intoxication occurs quickly and inevitably. YetÂ…thereÂ’s never a hangover.

5) If you end up at Sephora with her, she will exhibit no hesitation or self-consciousness when it comes to testing out vivid metallic Chanel lipsticks or four varieties of bronzer/glitter. She will also loyally assist you with shooting stink-eye at those useless @$$h073$ at MAC. Hisssss.

4) She is wise enough to use TYPEPAD, like someone else we know. 😉

3) Her inclusion of her soon-to-be-as-legendary-as-Yo-Dad parents, “Lester” and “Sally” in her blogging life is inspiring, heartwarming and fodder for some of the most exquisitely priceless, “OMG, me too!” or “Omg, I wish.”-moments I’ve had this year.

2) Remember that personal bravery she displayed at Sephora? SheÂ’s just like that online, dissecting heartbreak, regret and lessons learned with a selfless candor which makes you want to hug her and thank her. Repeatedly.

1) She is hysterical. Witty. Rare. Consistently awesome. In short: perfection.

Kindly welcome the latest knockout to grace our bunker as a cherished guest: The Barmaid. If you are mean to her, I will cut you, like any good Akka/Chechi would. I canÂ’t for the life of me see why I would need to do that, though. I predict youÂ’ll end up just as enchanted as the rest of us.

Continue reading →

Un-covering Haditha

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As more information comes to light about the possible atrocities committed by American soldiers in the Iraqi town of Haditha, I thought I would mention that one of the main journalists that helped bring the story to light is Aparisim Ghosh, chief international correspondent for Time magazine. It was back in March of this year that whispers first began to emerge about what may have happened in Haditha:

Since the revelation this [March 2006] week that U.S. Marines may have been responsible for the death of 15 civilians in the western Iraq town of Haditha, first reported by TIME, there has been a major outcry but little action. But now that the Haditha tragedy is out in the open, the U.S. military must act quickly and decisively to reassure Iraqis that the killing of innocents by American arms will not be lost in the fog of war.

In an environment where insurgents and terrorists routinely massacre civilians without remorse or restitution, it is vital that Iraqis know the U.S. military holds itself to a higher standard — that when American soldiers kill (by accident or intention) non-combatants, the military investigates the matter rigorously and punishes anybody guilty of wrongdoing. This is what separates the good guys from the bad guys…

It will not be easy to persuade Iraqis that a cover-up is not already under way. After all, the Marines’ first report of the incident claimed that the civilians had been killed by a roadside bomb, and not by the Marines themselves. Nor does it help that the military waited months before launching a serious investigation. But every effort must be made to undo that damage and allay suspicions. [Link]

In the last couple of weeks the words in the article above by Ghosh have been viewed as almost prophetic. He continues to produce outstanding articles from the war zone, such as this insightful one titled Inside the Mind of an Iraqi Suicide Bomber:

One day soon, this somber young man plans to offer up a final prayer and then blow himself up along with as many U.S. or Iraqi soldiers as he can reach. Marwan Abu Ubeida says he has been training for months to carry out a suicide mission. He doesn’t know when or where he will be ordered to climb into a bomb-laden vehicle or strap on an explosives-filled vest but says he is eager for the moment to come. While he waits, he spends much of his time rehearsing that last prayer. “First I will ask Allah to bless my mission with a high rate of casualties among the Americans,” he says, speaking softly in a matter-of-fact monotone, as if dictating a shopping list. [Link]
Continue reading →