The people have spoken! And they want more Brazilian hotties World Cup coverage. Armed with this unambiguous mandate, I offer you the Sepia Mutiny update on the World Cup, now that one-third of the first round is over and we have seen every team in action at least once.
First, the Desi Angle (TM): your Great Brown Hope, the Mauritian-Indian French midfielder Vikash Dhorasoo, came on for the final ten minutes of an insipid and stultifying France-Switzerland match that produced the two teams’ third draw in their last three confrontations. Brought on to give France some much-needed energy, Dhorasoo did well in the short time he had, and nearly scored with a searing shot from range that just missed the far post. Watching amid a thin, pessimistic French crowd on the otherwise lovely rear patio of Brooklyn restaurant Jolie, Mr Kobayashi and I nearly choked on our merguez sandwiches as we watched the potential First Desi Goal in World Cup History skim barely wide. It was not to be, but with the French first-stringers not showing much verve, the Hope may well see more playing time in the next two matches against South Korea and Togo.
Via that brother at Ultrabrown, here is a YouTube video of Dhorasoo’s entrance and shot. I couldn’t find a still photo — if anyone out there has found one, holla at me.
And that concludes the Desi Angle (TM). Now for the true heads, here’s an appreciation of the tournament so far, with a Daljit Dhaliwal tie-in for those who read all the way to the end.
It’s been a good one! And it’s wide open, with about a dozen of the field of 32 plausible contenders to win the whole thing. Together with Kobayashi and some other addicts brave souls, I’ve watched at least some of each game, and all of most, many of them at ethnically appropriate venues around New York City. Here’s my note on each, in (current) predicted order of finish.
Group A
Germany – Came out in unusual fashion with mad attacking flair and porous central defense in their 4-2 opener against Costa Rica. Reverted to tedious form in their 1-0 squeaker over Poland. But they’re the home team, and besides, if you’ve watched any football in the past 30 years you know to Never Rule Out The Kraut. (Sorry. It rhymes. I actually like these guys.)
Ecuador – The rap against Ecuador is that they only play well at high altitude. Well, they beat low-lying Poland in low-lying Germany by a clear 2-0, so so much for that theory. Not the most organized side, but great energy and attackers who can turn it on. I watched with a bunch of Ecuadorans, not one of whom was as dark-skinned as the average complexion on the team.
Costa Rica – A bunch of chickens with their heads cut off, plus a damn fine attacker called Wanchope, who sliced through the German defense with strength, style and grace. “GOOOOLLLLLLLLL,” cried the Univision announcer. “GOOOOLLLLLL DEL CHOPE! CHOPE, CHOPE, CHOPE!”
Poland – A sad early exit is almost guaranteed after they ripped defeat from the jaws of an honorable goalless tie with the hosts. A shame, but after losing to Ecuador they weren’t going anywhere. The Polish hoolies can stay around and cause trouble, or go home and beat up the team.
Group B
England – I guess. Though they’ve done little to earn it. A sorry display against even sorrier Paraguay, and in a few hours they face Trinidad and Tobago, for whom the dream will soon enough die. They’ve rubbed some magic ointment on Wayne Rooney’s foot (probably the substance the East German doctors used back in the good old days of the cold war), but nobody’s fooled, nor ever will be by a Sven-Goran Eriksson-coached team. They should have gotten rid of this clown a long time ago. For the World Cup, there’s always 2010.
Sweden – Someone buried a chicken under the Trinidad and Tobago goal line, creating a force field that caused Sweden’s numerous — dozens? hundreds? — of clear goal opportunities to fizzle, many in spectacular fashion. Props too to Trini goalkeeper Shaka Hislop, but most of all to that chicken. Sweden’s next opponents won’t have mystical protection, and this stylish, organized side should continue into the second round, maybe more.
Trinidad and Tobago – The Official Underdog of the competition, and they can play. (No desis on the team, but this is football not cricket.) The chicken did its job, but against England they’re going to need a goat, or maybe a nubile virgin.
Group C
Argentina – Okay, it’s proper form to hate on Argentina (thuggish, racist, arrogant, etc), but damn, this is a good side. They looked complete in their hard-earned 2-1 victory over an excellent Ivory Coast side. I’ll still hate on them, but they look like winners.
Ivory Coast – I’m going out on a limb here, since out of Ivory Coast, Argentina and Holland, one isn’t going through, and right now Holland has points and the Elephants don’t. But I got a feeling. The best African team in the field, and in any group but this one and Group E, they’d be sure to move on.
Holland – See above. In the meantime, do not miss Holland – Ivory Coast on Friday. A real cup-final, plus both sets of fans wear orange, so the stadium should look like a big bowl of Tropicana.
Serbia and Montenegro – They must be depressed that they represent a country that is now officially two different countries. Apparently there’s only one Montenegrine brother on the team in the first place — why don’t they just kick him off? Your basic Slavic side – dour, reasonably effective, but no imagination.
Group D
Mexico – It took them a while to turn it on against Iran, but they eventually did and won by a handy 3-1. A fast, organized squad with a real charismatic leader in Rafa Marquez. I see El Tri as a darkhorse to make it to the semis, maybe more. Si se puede!
Portugal – Okay, so they beat Angola. But can they beat Mexico? I don’t see it. But if you’re in the NYC area, do yourself a favor and go watch a Portugal game at the Portuguese Social Club, 55 Prospect Street, in Newark. It’s just a five-minute walk from the Amtrak and PATH station. Gorgeous old hall, huge screen, family atmosphere, outsiders welcome. Amazing.
Angola – Will defeat Iran, then go home.
Iran – Will lose to Angola, then go home.
Group E
Italy – Call me blinded by the light, but still, Italy looked dazzling in their 2-0 defeat of a good Ghana side. With a real striker in Luca Toni (right), and a wealth of riches at every position, I can see the Azzurri going all the way. Women and appropriately-oriented men may be assured they’ll have plenty more occasions to ogle this team of certified hotties. (In their fetching uniforms.)
Czech Republic – Man, I really want Ghana in this spot but I just don’t see it. It’s not just that the Czechs swept away those other guys — where were they from already? — but they’re just a legit side all around, with not one but two midfield maestros, Rosicki and Nedved, on duty.
Ghana – They played Italy tight and had plenty of chances to tie, but lost their spirit after a dumb defensive mistake by, of all people, the veteran Bayern Munich defender Kuffour, gifted Italy with a 2-0 lead. Watching this fine challenge fizzle down, the boisterous crowd at the Ghanaian spot in Harlem quickly turned on their team. “What is wrong with these Ghanaians?” “My uncle could play better!” Still, a good time was had.
United States – Really, what is there to say?
Group F
Brazil – The glass half empty says they win; the glass half full says they float to victory on an unstoppable tide of collective insight and individual artistry. Either way, they win, as they did over Croatia 1-0. But man, is that Ronaldo overweight! Take that brother out of the line-up. We watched the match with about seven hundred Brazilians in Astoria. How tedious! You missed nothing, really.
Australia – I actually didn’t see Australia beat Japan. I had work to do, believe it or not. But Kobayashi tells me they’ll finish second.
Japan – Kobayashi tell me they’ll finish third. He’s not Japanese, by the way, despite the name. Perhaps if he were he’d be more optimistic.
Croatia – Those uniforms are way too ugly to merit advancing.
Group G
France – I guess, still. But only because the Swiss don’t have the spark. Shit, maybe Korea will take this thing. But I still think France, if coach Raymond Domenech extracts his head from his arse. He won’t do it on his own, but it’s not too far from Paris to Germany for the gendarmerie to turn up with a giant pair of pliers.
South Korea – I will own one of those exquisite pink shirts before this thing is over.
Switzerland – They’re OK. But no spark.
Togo – They almost got a point off South Korea, and they could yet off one of the others. But they’ll still finish last.
Group H
Spain – That loud sound you hear is the Spain bandwagon clanging into motion after the 4-0 ridiculing of Ukraine. Coach Aragones (he of the racist comments about Thierry Henry) showed some wisdom in making aging-golden-boy Raul, who’s always been a bad omen for the team, a substitute. Raul’s scored a lot of goals, but his most famous ones are the ones he’s flubbed, like the missed penalty kick against France in the smis of Euro 2000. So long as Raul doesn’t start, Spain can advance. The moment he starts against a legitimate opponent, they’ll lose. But the extremely clement draw ensures Spain won’t meet a legit opponent until the quarter-finals.
Tunisia – Maybe. This group should only advance Spain if there were any justice.
Ukraine – Ditto.
Saudi Arabia – Ditto. But they sure got some black dudes on the Saudi team — in fact, a whole range of characters. Makes you wonder what would happen if they got rid of the royal family and put the ordinary folks in charge. Might even turn out to be a pleasant place.
And that’s the view from here. Comment, flame, analyze, opine, and contribute away. And I’ll be rapping World Cup and New York stuff this evening with the lovely and talented Daljit Dhaliwal, when she hosts WNYC’s “The Conversation.” The show airs at 8 pm on WNYC’s AM feed, AM 820. Tune in live or catch it online later!
oh the fever is in the air. the pubs are packed and the streets are deserted. everyone’s getting ready for england to face t & t . should be exciting to see how it pans out.
Ecuador are in the second round!!! Who would have thought they would be the first…
I don’t know why, but that pic makes it feel like it is NSFW. Each time I load it, I notice the other guys around me gape at my screen.
The African teams aren’t doing so hot in Round 1, and England was equally unimpressive. My vote for the finals are Brazil vs. Germany, just like 4 years ago. And like back then, Brazil will win it. The sole wild card in my book is Spain.
Blame it on Rio !!!! I really should learn Portugese…
brazilian girls are hot…I am waitin for the T&T game..YAY
Thanks for the post Siddhartha! Keep ’em coming (and more picsw like this please!)
I think they got the virgin cuz its 0-0 at halftime……….WORD
As of half time…the pale limeys are getting their pale kundis kicked nicely…
Me? I’s waitin fo da T&A game.
: brazilian girls are hot…I am waitin for the T&T game..YAY
why oh why must we keep talking about how hot people are when we can talk about kick ass writing skills?
Love how “hotties” are always the ornaments tacked onto sporting events….guaranteed crowd magnets!
who?
on another note: Trini Lost 🙁
seriously! each time i reload everyone gets the impression i’m doing “something else”.
Wow that was an intense game. Too bad the goal Trinidad made didn’t count. OK I really need to get back to work after 2 hours of being out in the middle of the day watching the game with my boss none the less!! Seriously this week the entire building is barely productive.
How’s everyone in the working world taking in the games?
very good taste in women
May be sensible to take a look at the England team before you declare them ‘pale limeys’. And might also be sensible to research what getting one’s kundi kicked looks like, I’m pretty sure it’s not 0-0.
And oh yeah, we won. Admittedly should’ve been more convincing, but for once Sven’s subs worked nicely. Looks like those ‘dark caribs’ got their ‘dark kundis’ kicked, eh Msichana? That sounds like the kind of vernacular you’d choose to talk about Trinidad & Tobago…despite the fact they aren’t all black either.
Considering the fact that this game was called the worst mismatch ever, it sure looked like the Brits had to earn their victory. I am all for the underdog..
Hear, hear. England has had a weak showing thus far. They should have had a blowout similar to Spain’s 4-0 game.
Can we now return to the lively discussion of cute football fans and players?
Pale limey’s? England had three black players on the pitch, Rio Ferdinand, Aaron Lennon and Ashley Cole. With Sol Campbell and Theo Walcott on the bench, England are less pale than Anglo with a African Caribbean touch. Well England played poorly but they’ll get better – especially with Steven Gerrard the genius scoring another scorcher of a goal like he does every week for Liverpool. Let’s see who we’ll get in the next round – it’s Germany or Ecuador depending on who finishes first in that group.
Come on you Multiracial Limeys!
Ole! Ole ole ole!
Any girls up for a swedish massage?
this ch!ck makes me want to move to Brazil….
YES! And for the next SM WC recap, we request a male hottie (footballer or fan) on the SM homepage :).
England really didn’t deserve this win. If it wasn’t for Beckam’s genius cross and Crouch’s genetics, this game would have beena draw. The Trinis need a better team game up front.
(ps, I’ve just packed my bags and will be moving to Brazil)
Siddhartha…
You must pay heed to comment number 74. The girls need a reason to move to another country as well. Good thing that someone posted a link for you to refer to already.
And if you need any additional suggestions for the perfect photo, feel free to ask.
For my sake, please don’t do anything which would get you banned. I’d miss you–that comment was priceless, clever, hilarious. 😀
FINALLY!! Someone who got the double references!
T&T shouldn’t be under-estimated, they play very solid, I still think England will sort things out and be a force. Spain’s 4-0, although not having seen it, I think you take with a grain of salt, as it might be a combination of Spain being good and Ukraine being outclassed. not on the Spain bandwagon just yet. Ecuador! Yes! but have missed their games!
alsoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. why are we too busy discussing hotties in the WC? this is soccer (proudly i claim the American word, nothing wrong with it) , all else is simply a metephor. granted ms. brazil is hai hai
sheez still hot 🙂 (see, no statistics! quick, stop me from ascertaining waist:hip ratio!)
Iran lose to Angola and go home? You’re out of your mind. Watch Iran beat Portual Saturday and then we’ll see what you have to say….
Indeed, indeed!!
About time we got some talent to rival the South Korean fan at the last World Cup. Hmmm…..yummy.
my conversation with daljit on wnyc this evening can be listened to here. check out the sound the producer and i got from watching the england-trini game at a trini social club in flatbush. amazing, amazing atmosphere.
El Sid, I love your posts and with this one you have set the bar higher!!!!
For me it is proper to love/support Argentina since watching Maradona play in 1986. Been a fan since and will always support them……..even when their play sucks as much as it did in 1990. And they got hottie fans too y’all (yours truly NOT one of them of course)!!!
After watching Ecuador play last night I am going all out to support them too. One thing I really found surprising was the number of dark skinned players on the team. When I was in Ecuador early this year I hardly saw any in Quito & Guayaquil so this was a revelation.
So that’s where Daljit is hanging out these days – nice interview Siddhartha! Based on the Trinidadian woman whom you spoke with, perhaps more of us should start wearing saffron chuddies and The Universe will oblige us with more desitude on the pitch come 2010.
I think it’s awesome – truly! – that you dudes are sweatin’ that Brazilian trannie (check out her wrist circumference – it’s a dead giveaway). Who knew that y’all were so open minded? Indeed Jai, a hottie is a hottie, which can be appreciated irrespective of her “background”… 😉
Ole Ole Ole Ole!
Amen, sister. Yes indeed, a hottie is a hottie, including the one pictured (and my stunning flatmate, who is both a futbol fanatic and a MtF transgender). All I was sayin was that you can find World Cup commentaries with pictures of hotties anywhere, but sepia mutinies just aren’t as mutinous without the sepia 😉
Btw Siddhartha, you have a very nice radio voice. Lucky guy, I wish I could be enclave hopping in NY right now 🙁
I fearlessly pick teams based on their sartorial appeal, ratio of cute dudes, etc. (so I’m better off not judging the bwoys of the SM locker room too harshly for their appreciation of the Brazilian babe…who is soooooo M->F trannie, and all the hotter for it!)
But this is also interesting – the UK based World Development Movement has analyzed the 32 WC contenders based on ten factors – life expectancy, carbon emissions, military spending, external debt, that sort of thing – and produced a Who Should I Cheer For? ranking.
Ghana and Sweden come in at nos. 1 and 2, respectively. Serbia & Montenegro and Togo are not part of the ranking because of missing data. So who comes in last at no. 30? Hint: It’s not the Saudis…
Maybe we need a Sepia Football tab..or better still a sports tab – the Cricket WC is next year anyway ;-)…Go Brazil!
Er, I don’t see any Adam’s Apple on her (unless they reduce its size during the operation(s) — I’m not an expert on these things)…..As for that wrist, maybe she’s just big-boned*, or has a higher bone-mass density via exercise etc.
Remember that music video by MVP last year called “Roc Ya Body”, with the staggering number of Latina hotties ? Please don’t tell me some of the women there too were “obviously” transsexuals ! Jai has bemused, confused expression on his face
Shruti,
Bah, I’m the same colour as the girl in the pic 😉 So are plenty of other North Indians. (Without the blonde hair, of course.) I do understand your point, though.
*Stop sniggering. You know that’s not what I meant 😉
Oh dear, I’ve become less of a fan of Ms. Daljit Dhaliwal. First she says ‘Dhally-waal’ instead of the proper pronounciation and secondly when Sid asks “Do you by default support England?” she said “Absolutely not”. FOR SHAME.
Interesting to hear about footie in NY Sid, and what a clipped accent you have. I’m enjoying reading Americans talk about football, it’s quaint.
Oh Bless Daljit Dhaliwal she has done well for herself, from the streets of Southall to the salons of New York.
Anyway, I just been reading up on the world press and what they’ve been saying about their team and apparently every newspaper in Spain thinks they are going to win. But I don’t want them to do anything with their racist coach. I would rather support Argentina or Germany than Spain because of what that man said about Thierry Henry. Wouldnt it be joyful if France met them and Thierry scored the winner?
Anyway my second team Holland are playing today against the Ivory Coast and this is going to be the tightest and most exciting group —- come on you ORANGE!
If that Brazilian sister in the picture is transgender (or anything other than pure womanly hotness), I guess I just learnt something new about myself…
And you know what? I love it.
OK, gotta go. Match #21 is starting soon…
(re: 91, Siddhartha’s accent is “clipped” because he is American and a bunch of other things. The brother is a walking mutiny.)
i hear you, snapper. for those wondering what we’re talking about, the spain coach luis aragones made this comment about france and arsenal striker thierry henri (talking to player jose antonio reyes):
quote from a guardian article that compares response to the comment in the u.k. versus in spain.
peace
Argentina are on fire. Their second goal against Serbia was one of the greatest goals in World Cup history — 24 passes strung together with one touch football, brilliant movement, flicks, back heel into an incoming midfielder to score. The first was brilliant but the second was pure genius and it was the genius of a team, not an individual. I am watching it on the BBC website at work and they are simply flowing. Crespo just scored to make it 4-0. If Argentina play like this the World Cup trophy has their name written on it. Pure class, sublime football.
Damn – it finished 6-0. Make sure you catch the second goal. Argentina are a special side.
Soccer balls that represent every country in the World Cup.
I just found out that the Great Brown Hope has the exact same birthday as me. He’s like my twin brother from another mother.
ere is the second goal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qV6y6zKyDQ&search=argentina
argentina took it to that other level today. damn! those creaky sounds you hear are all the mofos who jumped on the spain bandwagon, jumping off to chase the argentina train. with good reason i might add. damn!!! it’s going to take a special performance for someone to hang with argentina.
my elephants suffered their second cruel 2-1 loss. in perspective, the fact that they held argentina to two goals and scored one on them should make them proud. but a sad way to be eliminated. that’s why they call it the group of death. my ivoirian friends were philosophical about it. there’s a lot of good football ahead.
this is a great world cup so far.