The people have spoken! And they want more Brazilian hotties World Cup coverage. Armed with this unambiguous mandate, I offer you the Sepia Mutiny update on the World Cup, now that one-third of the first round is over and we have seen every team in action at least once.
First, the Desi Angle (TM): your Great Brown Hope, the Mauritian-Indian French midfielder Vikash Dhorasoo, came on for the final ten minutes of an insipid and stultifying France-Switzerland match that produced the two teams’ third draw in their last three confrontations. Brought on to give France some much-needed energy, Dhorasoo did well in the short time he had, and nearly scored with a searing shot from range that just missed the far post. Watching amid a thin, pessimistic French crowd on the otherwise lovely rear patio of Brooklyn restaurant Jolie, Mr Kobayashi and I nearly choked on our merguez sandwiches as we watched the potential First Desi Goal in World Cup History skim barely wide. It was not to be, but with the French first-stringers not showing much verve, the Hope may well see more playing time in the next two matches against South Korea and Togo.
Via that brother at Ultrabrown, here is a YouTube video of Dhorasoo’s entrance and shot. I couldn’t find a still photo — if anyone out there has found one, holla at me.
And that concludes the Desi Angle (TM). Now for the true heads, here’s an appreciation of the tournament so far, with a Daljit Dhaliwal tie-in for those who read all the way to the end.
It’s been a good one! And it’s wide open, with about a dozen of the field of 32 plausible contenders to win the whole thing. Together with Kobayashi and some other addicts brave souls, I’ve watched at least some of each game, and all of most, many of them at ethnically appropriate venues around New York City. Here’s my note on each, in (current) predicted order of finish.
Group A
Germany – Came out in unusual fashion with mad attacking flair and porous central defense in their 4-2 opener against Costa Rica. Reverted to tedious form in their 1-0 squeaker over Poland. But they’re the home team, and besides, if you’ve watched any football in the past 30 years you know to Never Rule Out The Kraut. (Sorry. It rhymes. I actually like these guys.)
Ecuador – The rap against Ecuador is that they only play well at high altitude. Well, they beat low-lying Poland in low-lying Germany by a clear 2-0, so so much for that theory. Not the most organized side, but great energy and attackers who can turn it on. I watched with a bunch of Ecuadorans, not one of whom was as dark-skinned as the average complexion on the team.
Costa Rica – A bunch of chickens with their heads cut off, plus a damn fine attacker called Wanchope, who sliced through the German defense with strength, style and grace. “GOOOOLLLLLLLLL,” cried the Univision announcer. “GOOOOLLLLLL DEL CHOPE! CHOPE, CHOPE, CHOPE!”
Poland – A sad early exit is almost guaranteed after they ripped defeat from the jaws of an honorable goalless tie with the hosts. A shame, but after losing to Ecuador they weren’t going anywhere. The Polish hoolies can stay around and cause trouble, or go home and beat up the team.
Group B
England – I guess. Though they’ve done little to earn it. A sorry display against even sorrier Paraguay, and in a few hours they face Trinidad and Tobago, for whom the dream will soon enough die. They’ve rubbed some magic ointment on Wayne Rooney’s foot (probably the substance the East German doctors used back in the good old days of the cold war), but nobody’s fooled, nor ever will be by a Sven-Goran Eriksson-coached team. They should have gotten rid of this clown a long time ago. For the World Cup, there’s always 2010.
Sweden – Someone buried a chicken under the Trinidad and Tobago goal line, creating a force field that caused Sweden’s numerous — dozens? hundreds? — of clear goal opportunities to fizzle, many in spectacular fashion. Props too to Trini goalkeeper Shaka Hislop, but most of all to that chicken. Sweden’s next opponents won’t have mystical protection, and this stylish, organized side should continue into the second round, maybe more.
Trinidad and Tobago – The Official Underdog of the competition, and they can play. (No desis on the team, but this is football not cricket.) The chicken did its job, but against England they’re going to need a goat, or maybe a nubile virgin.
Group C
Argentina – Okay, it’s proper form to hate on Argentina (thuggish, racist, arrogant, etc), but damn, this is a good side. They looked complete in their hard-earned 2-1 victory over an excellent Ivory Coast side. I’ll still hate on them, but they look like winners.
Ivory Coast – I’m going out on a limb here, since out of Ivory Coast, Argentina and Holland, one isn’t going through, and right now Holland has points and the Elephants don’t. But I got a feeling. The best African team in the field, and in any group but this one and Group E, they’d be sure to move on.
Holland – See above. In the meantime, do not miss Holland – Ivory Coast on Friday. A real cup-final, plus both sets of fans wear orange, so the stadium should look like a big bowl of Tropicana.
Serbia and Montenegro – They must be depressed that they represent a country that is now officially two different countries. Apparently there’s only one Montenegrine brother on the team in the first place — why don’t they just kick him off? Your basic Slavic side – dour, reasonably effective, but no imagination.
Group D
Mexico – It took them a while to turn it on against Iran, but they eventually did and won by a handy 3-1. A fast, organized squad with a real charismatic leader in Rafa Marquez. I see El Tri as a darkhorse to make it to the semis, maybe more. Si se puede!
Portugal – Okay, so they beat Angola. But can they beat Mexico? I don’t see it. But if you’re in the NYC area, do yourself a favor and go watch a Portugal game at the Portuguese Social Club, 55 Prospect Street, in Newark. It’s just a five-minute walk from the Amtrak and PATH station. Gorgeous old hall, huge screen, family atmosphere, outsiders welcome. Amazing.
Angola – Will defeat Iran, then go home.
Iran – Will lose to Angola, then go home.
Group E
Italy – Call me blinded by the light, but still, Italy looked dazzling in their 2-0 defeat of a good Ghana side. With a real striker in Luca Toni (right), and a wealth of riches at every position, I can see the Azzurri going all the way. Women and appropriately-oriented men may be assured they’ll have plenty more occasions to ogle this team of certified hotties. (In their fetching uniforms.)
Czech Republic – Man, I really want Ghana in this spot but I just don’t see it. It’s not just that the Czechs swept away those other guys — where were they from already? — but they’re just a legit side all around, with not one but two midfield maestros, Rosicki and Nedved, on duty.
Ghana – They played Italy tight and had plenty of chances to tie, but lost their spirit after a dumb defensive mistake by, of all people, the veteran Bayern Munich defender Kuffour, gifted Italy with a 2-0 lead. Watching this fine challenge fizzle down, the boisterous crowd at the Ghanaian spot in Harlem quickly turned on their team. “What is wrong with these Ghanaians?” “My uncle could play better!” Still, a good time was had.
United States – Really, what is there to say?
Group F
Brazil – The glass half empty says they win; the glass half full says they float to victory on an unstoppable tide of collective insight and individual artistry. Either way, they win, as they did over Croatia 1-0. But man, is that Ronaldo overweight! Take that brother out of the line-up. We watched the match with about seven hundred Brazilians in Astoria. How tedious! You missed nothing, really.
Australia – I actually didn’t see Australia beat Japan. I had work to do, believe it or not. But Kobayashi tells me they’ll finish second.
Japan – Kobayashi tell me they’ll finish third. He’s not Japanese, by the way, despite the name. Perhaps if he were he’d be more optimistic.
Croatia – Those uniforms are way too ugly to merit advancing.
Group G
France – I guess, still. But only because the Swiss don’t have the spark. Shit, maybe Korea will take this thing. But I still think France, if coach Raymond Domenech extracts his head from his arse. He won’t do it on his own, but it’s not too far from Paris to Germany for the gendarmerie to turn up with a giant pair of pliers.
South Korea – I will own one of those exquisite pink shirts before this thing is over.
Switzerland – They’re OK. But no spark.
Togo – They almost got a point off South Korea, and they could yet off one of the others. But they’ll still finish last.
Group H
Spain – That loud sound you hear is the Spain bandwagon clanging into motion after the 4-0 ridiculing of Ukraine. Coach Aragones (he of the racist comments about Thierry Henry) showed some wisdom in making aging-golden-boy Raul, who’s always been a bad omen for the team, a substitute. Raul’s scored a lot of goals, but his most famous ones are the ones he’s flubbed, like the missed penalty kick against France in the smis of Euro 2000. So long as Raul doesn’t start, Spain can advance. The moment he starts against a legitimate opponent, they’ll lose. But the extremely clement draw ensures Spain won’t meet a legit opponent until the quarter-finals.
Tunisia – Maybe. This group should only advance Spain if there were any justice.
Ukraine – Ditto.
Saudi Arabia – Ditto. But they sure got some black dudes on the Saudi team — in fact, a whole range of characters. Makes you wonder what would happen if they got rid of the royal family and put the ordinary folks in charge. Might even turn out to be a pleasant place.
And that’s the view from here. Comment, flame, analyze, opine, and contribute away. And I’ll be rapping World Cup and New York stuff this evening with the lovely and talented Daljit Dhaliwal, when she hosts WNYC’s “The Conversation.” The show airs at 8 pm on WNYC’s AM feed, AM 820. Tune in live or catch it online later!
Yes, yes, Ghana, Tunisia, Togo and Angola are all well and good, but:
Group I
India – crickets
Is that a typo, or editorial commentary?
jeez vij, you’re quick on the trigger. fixed. and photo added… 馃檪
sid–know any good spots to watch ecuador? is j. heights the only option? i’m thinking of trying to catch the 9 a.m. game and the trek from brooklyn to queens might be too much.
also,
? Half the “Black” people from Trinidad I’ve ever met have had some “desi” in ’em. And probably vice versa.
-s
she’s smokin’.
My two cents: Australia will find it tough to beat the Croats, and I tip the Croats to go through. I do agree about the jerseys, though 馃檪
Portugal-Mexico will be touch and go. The Swiss actually had the better of it against France (who looked really bad, btw), and should go through.
Feel very sorry for the Croats; they deserved something from the Brazil game. And, btw, never mind Trinidad and Tobago – Brazil are the official Desi team. Consider Emerson – he looks like a middle-aged Indian pharamacist.
Farouk Engineer reporting from K脙鈥揕N. I knew from the moment Zapatero sent a sms ending with a smiley to the eta folks that this was Spain’s year. It also helps to have the two of the most potent attacking forces in the World Cup, the best midfield combination in Xavi and Xabi, and all sorts of characters who have no betters like Casillas, Puyol, and Senna. Spain is right proper up for it. Only Rooney or Ronaldinho can stop ’em now. The internet cafe here is too smokey for me to spend much more time elaborating. But look for the second series of first round games to get folks dancin’. Shake it baby…but don’t break it. Look for Trinidad and Tobago to give England a serious game. Another point is possible for TRINI. Look for the Ivorians to stampede the Dutch. Look for the Ghanians to bounce the Czechs. And look for Iran to give the Portugal a serious caning. Tomorrow I head to Stuttgart. I wish I were still in Hamburg kissing that beautiful woman at the Sunday morning Fish Market. The tour guide suggests I take a bus or a train or a car or even a boat for part of the trip. They tell me the Rhine is mighty fine this time of year. I don’t need any of those. I’s got my elephant waiting. ALLEZ ELEPHANT!!! ALLEZ ELEPHANT!!! ALLEZ ELEPHANT!!!!
Oh Siddhartha. With Brazil’s rich African-infused population, couldn’t you at least find a brown(er) hottie for us sepia folks?
Shruti,
A hottie is a hottie, regardless of her ethnicity. The latter is secondary to her hotness, which can be appreciated irrespective of her background.
Rooney ask Beckham: elder brother, when York graceful association I have not come, he really has that fiercely? Backham: Certainly, if you go on stage ,certainly gaze at him. Come on England!!!!Tonight!! http://www.fifaworldcup-yahoo.co.uk Dr Han (Super football fans) PAIN IN BRISTOL– http://www.backachetherapy.co.uk
A hottie is a hottie, regardless of her ethnicity. The latter is secondary to her hotness, which can be appreciated irrespective of her background.
amen brother! i was going to say the same thing. brown is a state of mind, not a shade 馃檪
But, but, but…
Where are the photos of all the H-O-T-T footballers? The Ladies of SM need some daily eye candy too!
Fun post, Siddharta.
great post — thanks for the recap.
Ladies, enjoy!
shruti,
there will be more hotties, have no fear.
jai,
agreed, with respect to hotties of both genders. (although, due to the gendered constructions of “beauty” resulting from patriarchy, the large majority of the world’s hotties are female. if as large a proportion of men were hotties too, there would be no more wars.)
farouk,
many thanks for the report from the field of play, as it were. your pick of spain is looking prescient right now, but there’s a lot more football to be played…
Two more desi blogs with quality world cup posts are GreatBong (India’s football commissioner is a joke) and Dipanjan (the decline of Bengal football in the 60s and 70s from someone who lived through it).
stultifying?
afraid so:
Give us another thread after all the group games have been played and the second round decided. Because that is when we will have had 3 matches to more accurately judge form, plus, it is when the World Cup truly COMES ALIVE with one game all or nothing sudden death extra time and even penalty shoot outs. That is when the real suspense and drama and epic occasion begins!
Now so far of all the teams I have seen Argentina strike me as most impressive. Brazil lookes lazy and arrogant because of the laziness of Ronaldo. Holland and Italy and Spain all look smart too. But first games are notoriously unreliable as predictors of later performance. Now as an Londoner I only have one thing to say —- COME ON ENGLAND!!!!
you read my mind, o great red snapper! your analysis is apt. but there’s nothing wrong in starting the armchair analysis now. all it means is that lots of my predictions will turn out false. i can live with that.
And it’s good analysis too siddhartha! You restore my faith in the humanity of America in the face of American mass indifference to the most beautiful game on Earth! The World Cup really is the only truly global communal occasion – what else has so many billions on every continent excited and focussed on one thing with such passion and mutual understanding? The World Cup is pure joy. Keep watching and enjoying my friend (and searching through google images for pics of hotties in the stadiums to share with us!)
don’t get too excited about america on the basis of my understanding of the game. i have roots in calcutta, grew up in paris, and have lived in abidjan.
So who are you shouting for this World Cup Siddhartha? With your Paris connection,Les Bleus?
I think England will get to the quarter finals. I’d love them to win, but I don’t see it happening, I think they’ll fall at the quarters. Head tells me Argentina might win. But the exciting thing about this tournament is it is so damn open — I think Brazil are there for the taking too. I think they are complacent and taking things for granted.
The new SM: new servers, new bloggers and a policy change to show more pictures of smokin’ hot women. I’m all for it!
And Jolie is just three blocks from my place. Since you’re watching in Brooklyn, I’d also recommend the Black Sheep (Bergen and 5th Ave) where the crowd is very mixed and gets excited quite easily.
the french media and public opinion gave up on the team long ago, so i see no reason to differ. i simply wish enough games for makelele to keep shining and maybe for vikash to score that one desi goal. if they make the second round the rest is gravy. although they really do have an excellent team among those 23 guys. it’s just that domenech will never have the balls to align it.
i’m shouting for cote d’ivoire, ghana, and mexico, along with brazil on general principle. i’d like to mount the spain bandwagon; they truly are good, but the coach is a racist swine. argentina look good. and i really like the italy team this year.
and for whom doth the snapper cheer?
Delgado has scored for Ecuador already!!!
Typed too soon – it was Carlos Tenorio…
beautiful goal by ecuador just now. i’m watching all over the city, have actually only seen one game in brooklyn thus far. that will change in a couple hours… look for me on nostrand for the trini game…
any venue suggestions in Delhi or Kolkata?
Sidd.
“I nearly choked on our merguez sandwiches as we watched the potential First Desi Goal in World Cup History skim barely wide.”
I stayed home and watched the telemundo’ after having one of my molars pulled out that morning, I too nearly chocked on the cotton wool “sandwiched” between the tooth and the empty whole of the toothless-gum, !only if that had been a “goooooooooaaaaagooooooooooaaaaaaagooooooaaaaaal!” as our emexico commentator would be singing, I would be chocking.
But, here’s one picture I fetched of our Dhorasoo Babu from that match.
http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/06/en/w/photos/fra.html?i=99&d=1
thanks for the post.
Well I support England of course but after them, I just want to see African teams do well. So far, although the Ivory Coast played well, they have not really done much so I don’t see them making an impact at this World Cup. Emotionally I will always be with Brazil like everyone else. I don’t want Italy to do anything because their over defensive culture of football is too boring and unadventurous. Argentina always have a certain rugged romance. But for me, after England, the European team I always cheer for is Holland. The greatest footballing nation never to have won the World Cup (even more so than Spain who never had a team to compare with Johan Cryuff and the 1970’s Total Football side nor the late 1980’s European Champion side of Gullit and Van Basten) — so after England, I will have to say I support Holland. Even now they are playing virile, attacking, skilfull football, their whole football heritage is great, they’ve never won before, their fans are passionate and colourful, and I like Dutch people in general.
So for me, if England don’t win (and I don’t think they will) I hope Holland paint Germany orange!
Now only two hours to go until England v Trinidad……..I predict a laboured England win.
scarlet, that’s a pic from a different match last year. but thanks for looking. hope the teeth are feeling better. we’ll get our desi goal before this thing is out. i believe!
ok, let me go to the ecuadoran spot for the second half of this thing. have a good day y’all!
OK check out this NYTimes blog that gives you locations and bars. Spanish Harlem also has a huge Equadorian community. Assuming it’s on right now ARE YOU AT A BAR????? 馃檪
My company has 24 hour coverage in the cafe with a huge flat screen TV. And half the building is in there. I guess when you are French anything goes. I was in the office late two nights ago and left around 9:00 and the cafe was packed. Apparently some guys in the office were watching games down there in the middle of the night. The company even provides with refreshments and beer and wine after hours!!
I see that brother Siddhartha’s got this scene on lockdown. I hardly have anything to add. As he says, we’ve watched 18 matches in a row, and in the process we’ve gotten immersed in quite a lot of immigrant neighborhoods.
The Vikash moment was exciting. Hoping for more good things from the lad.
Best of all is the general quality of the cup, which has been extremely high. Lots of gols, lots of “golasos muy spectacular.”
Ditto for me. Allez tout les noirs et les bruns!
Sorry to make things so NYC-centric but this is a good place to say i’m thinking of holding the SM World Cup Viewing Meet-Up on Sunday 6/25. There will be two second-round games that day: the first is likely to be Ecuador vs. England, the second will be the second-place team of Group C (Argentina, Holland or Ivory Coast — all of them class) versus the winner of Group D (Portugal or Mexico). Should be FANTASTIC.
Is there interest out there in a meet-up Sunday 6/25 to watch these two matches? The first wil be at 11 am EDT, the second at 3 pm. Please leave a comment here and let me know who’s down.
Finally! Somebody says it! I was watching Croatia-Brazil the other day and wondering “who’s the team that looks like a pack of Big Boy waiters?” They’ll lose because they’re too busy bussing tables.
Bread packets in India have the same print too.
Indian fans (hotties!) cheering in the stands…cricket 馃檨 http://www.hindustantimes.com/wfsf/high/2006/06.15/images/high1720588.jpg
Not this year, Red Snapper. They are the most solid team I’ve seen so far (and they kind of look desi, don’t they?) The Italy coach, Marcello Lippi, is a tactical genius, starting the game with three strikers, then whittling them down as the scoreline demands. Plus he’s got Del Piero and Inzaghi sitting on the bench. Very very good football team. The striker Luca Toni is a revelation: big guy, dainty feet, vicious shots. If the Italians can keep up the good work, they’ll be right up there in the later stages with Argentina.
But this is all speculation based on seeing each of the thirty-two teams play for ninety minutes. Opinions may change by next week. Especially since both of these amazing teams are in very tough, very bruising qualifying groups.
DD – Those Croatia uniforms make you dizzy ! But I think there is a strategy behind it.
Nice post. Why can’t we find 11 Dhorasoos among the billion-plus? It stinks that I won’t ever be able to cheer for India in the World Cup Finals, at least not in this life.
Anyone else not getting any work done? You’ll like this: http://www.melvindurai.com/wcup.htm
You’ve disturbed the serene tranquility of my Thursday morning with the sheer oozing oomph of that Brazilian beauty. Damn you, Sid! And where are the promised pics of other soccer fan babes? We’re waiting.
Yeah I know, but I have an in-built aversion to Italian football and their negative culture of catenaccio – that is why my prejudices surface at the World Cup I’m afraid! Italy are just a team I don’t want to see doing anything. Coming from England, there are certain teams you don’t want to see win, Germany being the primary rival. But both personally and patriotically, I want Holland the land of Total Football to do well!
Come on England!
Come of the Orange!
Sure enough, Delgado IS on the scoresheet now!
Personally, even if India (ever) qualified for the World Cup, I would still barrack for Brazil. They deserve to win just for the way they play, and of course for their army of hotties. Boy is the girl in that picture super hot!
etc, etc.
I didn’t see the title of the post was Locker Room of Horny 8th Grade Boys.
I didn’t see the title of the post was Locker Room of Horny 8th Grade Boys.
It’s them Brazilian girls, that’s what they do to you.
And H1Biyatch, there are enough H-O-T-T boys (see post #14 by espressa bean) that we can be Horny 8th Grade Girls, too.
I almost fainted when I saw the spare tire around his waist! They can’t be hoping for a 2nd comeback from this man, the show is over, he’s tired, send him to shelter.
Adriano needs to have my babies.
As for the I-talians, they needs to stop that crying and rolling around in pretend pain. It’s so frustrating to watch them play. Perhaps if they played shirtless I wouldn’t mind the rolling bit so much.
Look, I resent this relentless objectifying of men who are trying to do their work in a professional wa….good God, that Brazilian girl is HOT!! Like POW!!
I share Red Snapper’s sentiments about the Italians. I like their style and technique, but they are so defensive minded that they waste the wealth of attacking talent at their disposal, instead sitting back defending 1-0 scorelines. I still cannot understand that substitution of Baggio when the goalkeeper Pagliuca was sent off in ’94. Good riddance that man Arrigo Sacchi. I also celebrated when they lost to the Koreans the last time for the same reason. There is some hope with Totti and co, I guess.