The World Cup: First Week Impressions

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brazilian.jpgThe people have spoken! And they want more Brazilian hotties World Cup coverage. Armed with this unambiguous mandate, I offer you the Sepia Mutiny update on the World Cup, now that one-third of the first round is over and we have seen every team in action at least once.

First, the Desi Angle (TM): your Great Brown Hope, the Mauritian-Indian French midfielder Vikash Dhorasoo, came on for the final ten minutes of an insipid and stultifying France-Switzerland match that produced the two teams’ third draw in their last three confrontations. Brought on to give France some much-needed energy, Dhorasoo did well in the short time he had, and nearly scored with a searing shot from range that just missed the far post. Watching amid a thin, pessimistic French crowd on the otherwise lovely rear patio of Brooklyn restaurant Jolie, Mr Kobayashi and I nearly choked on our merguez sandwiches as we watched the potential First Desi Goal in World Cup History skim barely wide. It was not to be, but with the French first-stringers not showing much verve, the Hope may well see more playing time in the next two matches against South Korea and Togo.

Via that brother at Ultrabrown, here is a YouTube video of Dhorasoo’s entrance and shot. I couldn’t find a still photo — if anyone out there has found one, holla at me.

And that concludes the Desi Angle (TM). Now for the true heads, here’s an appreciation of the tournament so far, with a Daljit Dhaliwal tie-in for those who read all the way to the end. It’s been a good one! And it’s wide open, with about a dozen of the field of 32 plausible contenders to win the whole thing. Together with Kobayashi and some other addicts brave souls, I’ve watched at least some of each game, and all of most, many of them at ethnically appropriate venues around New York City. Here’s my note on each, in (current) predicted order of finish.

Group A

Germany – Came out in unusual fashion with mad attacking flair and porous central defense in their 4-2 opener against Costa Rica. Reverted to tedious form in their 1-0 squeaker over Poland. But they’re the home team, and besides, if you’ve watched any football in the past 30 years you know to Never Rule Out The Kraut. (Sorry. It rhymes. I actually like these guys.)

Ecuador – The rap against Ecuador is that they only play well at high altitude. Well, they beat low-lying Poland in low-lying Germany by a clear 2-0, so so much for that theory. Not the most organized side, but great energy and attackers who can turn it on. I watched with a bunch of Ecuadorans, not one of whom was as dark-skinned as the average complexion on the team.

Costa Rica – A bunch of chickens with their heads cut off, plus a damn fine attacker called Wanchope, who sliced through the German defense with strength, style and grace. “GOOOOLLLLLLLLL,” cried the Univision announcer. “GOOOOLLLLLL DEL CHOPE! CHOPE, CHOPE, CHOPE!”

Poland – A sad early exit is almost guaranteed after they ripped defeat from the jaws of an honorable goalless tie with the hosts. A shame, but after losing to Ecuador they weren’t going anywhere. The Polish hoolies can stay around and cause trouble, or go home and beat up the team.

Group B

England – I guess. Though they’ve done little to earn it. A sorry display against even sorrier Paraguay, and in a few hours they face Trinidad and Tobago, for whom the dream will soon enough die. They’ve rubbed some magic ointment on Wayne Rooney’s foot (probably the substance the East German doctors used back in the good old days of the cold war), but nobody’s fooled, nor ever will be by a Sven-Goran Eriksson-coached team. They should have gotten rid of this clown a long time ago. For the World Cup, there’s always 2010.

Sweden – Someone buried a chicken under the Trinidad and Tobago goal line, creating a force field that caused Sweden’s numerous — dozens? hundreds? — of clear goal opportunities to fizzle, many in spectacular fashion. Props too to Trini goalkeeper Shaka Hislop, but most of all to that chicken. Sweden’s next opponents won’t have mystical protection, and this stylish, organized side should continue into the second round, maybe more.

Trinidad and Tobago – The Official Underdog of the competition, and they can play. (No desis on the team, but this is football not cricket.) The chicken did its job, but against England they’re going to need a goat, or maybe a nubile virgin.

Group C

Argentina – Okay, it’s proper form to hate on Argentina (thuggish, racist, arrogant, etc), but damn, this is a good side. They looked complete in their hard-earned 2-1 victory over an excellent Ivory Coast side. I’ll still hate on them, but they look like winners.

drogba.jpgIvory Coast – I’m going out on a limb here, since out of Ivory Coast, Argentina and Holland, one isn’t going through, and right now Holland has points and the Elephants don’t. But I got a feeling. The best African team in the field, and in any group but this one and Group E, they’d be sure to move on.

Holland – See above. In the meantime, do not miss Holland – Ivory Coast on Friday. A real cup-final, plus both sets of fans wear orange, so the stadium should look like a big bowl of Tropicana.

Serbia and Montenegro – They must be depressed that they represent a country that is now officially two different countries. Apparently there’s only one Montenegrine brother on the team in the first place — why don’t they just kick him off? Your basic Slavic side – dour, reasonably effective, but no imagination.

Group D

Mexico – It took them a while to turn it on against Iran, but they eventually did and won by a handy 3-1. A fast, organized squad with a real charismatic leader in Rafa Marquez. I see El Tri as a darkhorse to make it to the semis, maybe more. Si se puede!

Portugal – Okay, so they beat Angola. But can they beat Mexico? I don’t see it. But if you’re in the NYC area, do yourself a favor and go watch a Portugal game at the Portuguese Social Club, 55 Prospect Street, in Newark. It’s just a five-minute walk from the Amtrak and PATH station. Gorgeous old hall, huge screen, family atmosphere, outsiders welcome. Amazing.

Angola – Will defeat Iran, then go home.

Iran – Will lose to Angola, then go home.

Group E

lucatoni.jpgItaly – Call me blinded by the light, but still, Italy looked dazzling in their 2-0 defeat of a good Ghana side. With a real striker in Luca Toni (right), and a wealth of riches at every position, I can see the Azzurri going all the way. Women and appropriately-oriented men may be assured they’ll have plenty more occasions to ogle this team of certified hotties. (In their fetching uniforms.)

Czech Republic – Man, I really want Ghana in this spot but I just don’t see it. It’s not just that the Czechs swept away those other guys — where were they from already? — but they’re just a legit side all around, with not one but two midfield maestros, Rosicki and Nedved, on duty.

Ghana – They played Italy tight and had plenty of chances to tie, but lost their spirit after a dumb defensive mistake by, of all people, the veteran Bayern Munich defender Kuffour, gifted Italy with a 2-0 lead. Watching this fine challenge fizzle down, the boisterous crowd at the Ghanaian spot in Harlem quickly turned on their team. “What is wrong with these Ghanaians?” “My uncle could play better!” Still, a good time was had.

United States – Really, what is there to say?

Group F

Brazil – The glass half empty says they win; the glass half full says they float to victory on an unstoppable tide of collective insight and individual artistry. Either way, they win, as they did over Croatia 1-0. But man, is that Ronaldo overweight! Take that brother out of the line-up. We watched the match with about seven hundred Brazilians in Astoria. How tedious! You missed nothing, really.

Australia – I actually didn’t see Australia beat Japan. I had work to do, believe it or not. But Kobayashi tells me they’ll finish second.

Japan – Kobayashi tell me they’ll finish third. He’s not Japanese, by the way, despite the name. Perhaps if he were he’d be more optimistic.

Croatia – Those uniforms are way too ugly to merit advancing.

Group G

France – I guess, still. But only because the Swiss don’t have the spark. Shit, maybe Korea will take this thing. But I still think France, if coach Raymond Domenech extracts his head from his arse. He won’t do it on his own, but it’s not too far from Paris to Germany for the gendarmerie to turn up with a giant pair of pliers.

South Korea – I will own one of those exquisite pink shirts before this thing is over.

Switzerland – They’re OK. But no spark.

Togo – They almost got a point off South Korea, and they could yet off one of the others. But they’ll still finish last.

Group H

Spain – That loud sound you hear is the Spain bandwagon clanging into motion after the 4-0 ridiculing of Ukraine. Coach Aragones (he of the racist comments about Thierry Henry) showed some wisdom in making aging-golden-boy Raul, who’s always been a bad omen for the team, a substitute. Raul’s scored a lot of goals, but his most famous ones are the ones he’s flubbed, like the missed penalty kick against France in the smis of Euro 2000. So long as Raul doesn’t start, Spain can advance. The moment he starts against a legitimate opponent, they’ll lose. But the extremely clement draw ensures Spain won’t meet a legit opponent until the quarter-finals.

Tunisia – Maybe. This group should only advance Spain if there were any justice.

Ukraine – Ditto.

Saudi Arabia – Ditto. But they sure got some black dudes on the Saudi team — in fact, a whole range of characters. Makes you wonder what would happen if they got rid of the royal family and put the ordinary folks in charge. Might even turn out to be a pleasant place.

And that’s the view from here. Comment, flame, analyze, opine, and contribute away. And I’ll be rapping World Cup and New York stuff this evening with the lovely and talented Daljit Dhaliwal, when she hosts WNYC’s “The Conversation.” The show airs at 8 pm on WNYC’s AM feed, AM 820. Tune in live or catch it online later!

144 thoughts on “The World Cup: First Week Impressions”

  1. my team is Engerrrrrrland

    Are the Desis there flying with the rest of the UK? I hope you all are feeling together!!

    Too bad on Ivory Coast Sid! You’re a good man to support them though….there’s always Ecuador now

  2. Too bad on Ivory Coast Sid! You’re a good man to support them though….there’s always Ecuador now

    i used to live in ivory coast. it’s one of my various adopted homelands. but yeah, i’m totally feeling ecuador. they have “upset special” written all over them. angola held on for a good draw with mexico today — they have an excellent goalkeeper. i’m looking for ghana to stun the czechs tomorrow.

    hail the third world!

  3. hail the third world!

    hail Mogambo watching 23 matches in a row.

    Si se puede!

  4. siddhartha,

    that was a very poised and eloquent series of responses. You even managed to provide an interesting response to her inane question about who the sexiest players were.
    Is anyone else appreciating the great adidas adverts? I keep replaying them on my tivo. The two kids acting are excellent and the idea of them choosing Beckenbauer and Platini for their sides is inspired.

  5. Early days yet, but it does seem like this will be the first time since 1958 when a South American country will won a world cup held in Europe. Brazil and Argentina must be the favorites with Ecuador the dark horse.

  6. Interesting discussion of why red state, Nascar Americans (supposedly) hate soccer, linked below.

    By the brother of Jonathan Safran Foer – “socialist, and quite possibly homosexual, with a big dose of globalism fear” (i paraphrase the transcription, have a listen)

    I’ll buy the fact that it is really low-scoring and strategy-oriented, and we are watching a tiny white spot roll around a VERY large field, but the rest??

    Why do our kids play it (hello soccer moms and dads), but then it is forgotten? My sister is hitched to a former pro soccer player (white as heck) and we discuss this often.

    http://www.here-now.org/shows/2006/06/20060616_9.asp

  8. Yea, Ghana just pulled off the biggest upset so far! 2-0 against those snooty Czechs! They are lucky they did not come off looking like bigger losers because it looked like it could have finished 6-0 with all the goal opportunities Ghana had.

  9. Are you guys all watching U.S. vs. Italia? The play is sick! The Americans are being awesomely aggressive. Now the Italians just got red-carded!

  11. That Argentinian performace was out of this world. And Ghana! Each game has to be taken on its own merit, anything can happen!

  12. I will tell you that nothing is more frustrating to me than the USA’s dogged loyalty to Bruce Arena, who couldn’t get a job coaching a team of sousers in Wales but continues to mismanage our national team. Why isn’t Eddie Johnson on the field? And how is it the Beasley (And I know he sucked against Czech Republic, but who didn’t?) doesn’t start, and then nearly scores our only goal? This is ridiculous. Arena’s ridiculous insistence on rewarding players who either stayed in MLS or have been mainstays on the national team is costing us our best chance at a semifinals spot in history. We should be playing one forward against teams like Italy, and it should be Johnson, not Brian McJoke. (Kick this guy off the team, please. I’ve never seen him score against anyone except Iran. When we lost. And he starts like every World cup game we’re in.) Also, Reyna is a joke as a central Mid. He should be playing right back and they should be playing Mastroeni, Convey, Donovan, O’Brien, and Beasley.

    We’re basically screwed anyways without our two best defenders. Essien is going to light us up, and I am predicting Ghana 2-1, even though I would love to see us win.

    As for the whole deal, Brazil will be fine, the fact is that if Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, and Adriano (and Robinho) weren’t around to hog the limelight, people would realize that Kaka is one of the five best players in the world. Period. Argentina looks great as well, I love Messi and I can’t believe he doesn’t start, but then again why mess with a good thing? If anything, I’d drop Crespo and play him alongside Saviola. But I don’t think they’ll mess with a line-up that scored 6 goals. As for upsets, watch South Korea; they will prove that 2002 was no fluke. France will bounce back behind Zidane and Henry, and any country with a world-class striker like Shevchenko will be dangerous in the knock-out stages, especially after they emerge from their weak group.

  15. i agree Kaka is a great player, he really impressed

    not having seen anyone else coach the US players but Arena, its hard to gauge how the team would play with other formations. i don’t agree about Mcbride, he’s a good player. i thought convey played great. and a related note, i think Donovan and the rest of the team should realize that he’s where he’s going to be as a player, and not wait for him to develop much further. he’s a good player with skill and i think thats in the end what we’re going to get with him. i think its not right to wait for him to develop into an all world striker, if it was going to happen, it would have

    i think Arena has his strategy as to how the team is built, and he does reward cohesion, from where the US began it was a good decision, we were building a national team and we needed some commitment to develop a group comeraderie. now that the US team has an identity, maybe in the future we can plug people in. but most teams reward veterans, new players get plugged in but wholesale changes are more rare. that said, if we have more exciting players i’d love to see them

    i think the US played very well, they were a credit to the national team. we tied Italy when Italy had something on the line, that recommends itself!

  16. Hmm… the Great Brown Hope only saw the last ten minutes of the France-Korea game. I thought Dhorasoo was the one who fouled, not Zidane, who did get booked. Now Zidane will miss the next game, and if France doesn’t advance (which it may not, at this point) then it will be his last. Not a good way to go out.

    Dark Night, your comment is qualified by an assumption that “tranny” is some kind of disgraceful status. Perhaps to you it is, but it most certainly is not to me.

  17. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to implicate that there was something wrong with trannies. I just meant that you sounded like a girl, who was criticizing an extremely hot girl’s appearance, which is not so unusual. Sorry if it was offensive.

  18. the france game was frustrating. they elevated their game for the occasion, at times sparkling, but despite massive domination they couldn’t score the second goal that would insulate them from the koreans. humph. well, the group is wide open.

    with zidane out, look for the Hope to start against togo. i’ll spare you the hyper-detailed analysis of france’s strategy, flaws, etc., that mr kobayashi and our crew carried on. but i could see the Hope scoring that long-sought Desi Goal in that game.

  19. the france game was frustrating. they elevated their game for the occasion, at times sparkling,

    After the Koreans equalized, the French for the next 10 minutes or so put on an awesome display of Brazil like coordinated smooth flowing offense. It was shortlived though and with Zidane gone they wasted the final minutes. I just love Zidane’s deft touches and passes. The man is a master!

    Also, they need to bench Ronaldo. He is in a woeful form.

  21. I agree that Ronaldo is in terrible form, but he still commands so much attention that his mere presence allows their other attackers more space to roam. We saw that today when he set up Adriano for the first goal.

  22. ronaldo aka fatso was actually a lot better in the second match than in the first. he might just be finding his groove, though he certainly can’t be the holy terror in the box that he used to be. good thing they have adriano, robinho, kaka, ronaldinho, and probably five other dudes on the bench who can get it done. hell, they even have a guy named fred.

    argentina has played the most complete football of the tournament so far, and by far; but those who underestimate brazil do so at their peril.

  23. i think Hope can score against Togo. I thought France played great, and to be frank(ish), they had a second goal taken away. Korea got lucky, France is good, they just haven’t streched out there wings. scoring a few goals against Switzerland probably would have helped. I look for them to ramp it up against Togo and make it through to the next round. i think they play better against the better teams. i really hope Zidane plays again, that was a silly call

    plus, ugh on the other thread calling out the pic on here. if the next post has to have some obligatory picture of some soccer dude, and he has to be non-sepia just to set the balance straight, thats ugh too. i’m so sick of sepia gender tit for tat!

  24. i’m not calling out those who want Sepia beautiful role models btw, totally reasonable. would i rather assume desi women find desi men attractive, yup. we all like to see that Desi people can be represented as attractive. there’s no debating that both dudes and ladies have some issues out there about if we as desi bodies are as attractive as the next person out there. but do people really care about race when it comes to attraction? just base attraction? if we want to have a post about the politics of attraction, that would be a great post. maybe a 500+ post column in that

    anyway, end thread-diversion

  25. Ghanaian place in Harlem, anyone have this location — if possible before the US -Ghana game today? I can’t stand to be a lone African cheerleader among a sea of people who call the game soccer.

  26. AfroDesiAc: Florence’s restaurant, on Frederick Douglass at 113th St. That’s where we caught the previous two Ghana games… There are also a couple places in the Bronx. Also, I’ve heard rumours of a group of 200 or so Ghanaian professionals (Wall St etc) who’ve gotten together somewhere for the matches.

  27. Don’t forget siddhartha we need a new thread soon because the World Cup is about to start for real with the knockout games on Saturday! That is when the action and drama really begins….up to now it has all been appetizers….

  28. Siddhartha: Thanks, for that –I was about to give up when inspired to checkout the Voice for Ghanaian eats and came upon Florence. Hope they serve breakfast. Are you going to be there?

  29. AfroDesiAc,

    That’s a crazy name yo. Anyway, Brother Siddhartha and I will not be doing Florence’s Restaurant this morning. I’m not even sure they’ll be open that early.

    But we are huge Ghana fans. I live about fifteen minutes walk from 113th, and if you’d like to watch with us at home, you’re welcome to do so. Email your cellphone number to Siddhartha and he’ll call you.

    And it’s pretty guaranteed that we’ll be going someplace interesting for Brazil-Japan this afternoon.

  30. I think we will easily beat Ghana. I just hope the Italians dont settle for a draw though. A question to all the nice folks on here who go to all these clubs to watch soccer games: How do you guys get time off from work?

  31. I think we will easily beat Ghana. I just hope the Italians dont settle for a draw though.

    who do you mean “we,” white brown man?

    A question to all the nice folks on here who go to all these clubs to watch soccer games: How do you guys get time off from work?

    simple: we don’t work.

  32. oops.

    that last comment was from me.

    and the “white” was supposed to come up as strikethrough. joke, you see.

    we still don’t work, though.

  33. we still don’t work, though

    aaargh, all i can do is record the games and not watch any news sites, plug my ears when i hear anybody talking about the games on my way home and watch all the games before i go to bed. Argentina looks brutal. They have a wonderful game and like Brazil no dearth of good players. I wish i could watch some of these games live. Lucky bastards!

  34. Derick, I have downloaded this TVU player from the internet and I am watching all the games live at work! I think its some Chinese website. I got the link from a Slate online article.

    Siddharth, We need some USA supporters! There are plenty of Ghana supporters.

  36. Ahh my friend for debauchery, i don’t think i’d want to watch the games at work.Wouldn’t be able to concentrate…on the game that is. I’m not going to be home for a couple of days and i’m recording the US-Ghana game, and i’m going to have to make sure that i do not find out about the result till i get a chance to watch the game at home. Oh the torture!! Might go to someplace in NYC this weekend and watch a game, and then maybe head over to the piers for a game. Any good places to watch the games this weekend?

  38. Siddhartha, Kobayashi:

    I missed your invitation watch — but was at Florence till half-time, with an ABC reporter trying to get a soundbite from Ghanaians Gone Wild. Would be game for the Brazil game but the contact link on your homepage does not work. Is your email listed someplace else?

  40. the black star shines! nkrumah lives! hail the third world!

    Traitor. They should strip you of your citizenship for that and “render” you to another country.

  42. hehe.. oh well USA out… my brother will be seeing ghana vs. brazil… portugal vs. netherlands…and argentina vs. mexico.. not a bad lineup…

  43. yah brazill is the best their is cause i’m from there so yah of corse someday i will play for brazil