Oy, I almost don’t want to write this– but I took so many pages of notes during my disastrous dinner at Tandoori Nights in Clarendon, that all that information deserves to be used. I know you’ll appreciate reading some of it, since our threads on dining, fine or otherwise are consistently popular. So let’s get this over with.
I’ve recently become an addict of EMS. I know, I’m the only one who has ever entered the store in stiletto heels, but what can I say? You can only spend so much time underground with Abhi before he begins to influence you. While I work up my nerve to (gulp) actually go camping for the first time, I’m going to keep frequenting EMS; for some reason, it makes urban-me want to be outside. Powerfully magical, I know. So between my forays to gear mecca and the container store (and yet– my apartment is still disorganized), I noticed that a potentially brown restaurant had opened on the second floor of the ritzy Market Common at Clarendon, just outside of D.C.
Yesterday, I decided to give it a shot, even though I was a little put off by the restaurant’s font. Yup, I’m that kind of dork. Why wouldn’t I be? If words are my life, the shapes of the letters which create them matter, too. I looked down at my outfit, which I had worn earlier to the amazing lecture Sajit blogged about at the Smithsonian. It was casual, but to me, so was the font. So imagine my shock when I tentatively walked through the front doors and saw a lounge sleek enough to impress, a distinguished man in a well-cut suit who looked like the manager and a mural of brown women on the ceiling which made me want to faint because I spent so much time craning my neck back to memorize it. “WOW,” I thought to myself, “it’s GORGEOUS.”
I simultaneously regretted my clothes while planning a meetup or party that just had to take place in this space. Much like it jinxes the shit out of my crushes on boys to imagine my first name with their surname, all of my moony swooning, my counting parties before they were hatched…well, it virtually guaranteed doom. 🙁
My friend and I were seated in a beautiful, semi-private room and were asked if we wanted still or sparkling. I opted for the first and the busboy blurted out, “it’s bottled”. Um, okay. I wasn’t sure what to do with that so I asked him what brand. He didnÂ’t know. When he came back, he said “Voss” and my pretentious-meter went off so hard it broke. How very glam. And everything on the menu was spelled properly! Well played. I wanted to get one of my favorite appetizers, Aloo tikki, but I noted with dismay that it came stuffed with cheese. Can I get a hearty “wtf”? It’s not a fusion place. I started to notice two things: there was a “Kashmiri” version of almost everything (meaning it contained nuts and dried fruit) and cheese was stuffed in to several entrees, including the Dum Aloo. Now this zimble Southie doesn’t pretend to be all-knowing about foods of the North, but I’ve never seen cheese in so many dishes before. I opted for the Samosas and Aloo Papri Chaat, because I reasoned that there was no way they could possibly botch the first. Shit, Dean and Deluca makes those.
Unfortunately, the Samosas were terrible. They looked and tasted like they had been over-nuked. Dark orange-brown and too tough to slice with my dinner knife, I hoped that at least the insides would be nummy. Sigh. I couldn’t really taste anything. Bland, salt less potato disappointed and I couldn’t even finish my ONE Samosa until I had drowned it in Imli and Mint chutneys, which I had to request extra of, since the very sleek and pretty rectangular condiments dish had enough chutneys to count as decoration, nothing more. I hadn’t cared when we were seated and I first noticed that, since the imli, mint and mystery goo were meant to go with the papad–a combination I’ve never particularly understood or needed– but this was an appetizer emergency.
Once it was possible to suitably drench it, the Samosa was consumed. All I could think of was, “But…I can eat Café Spice Samosas unadorned. It doesn’t have to be this way.” I’m thrilled to report that the Aloo Chaat was fantastic, its red onions spicy and its presentation pleasant. I was a bit confused though, since the menu stated that it came with chick peas and…there were none to be found. “Whatever,” I thought. “So minor.” Actually, it was a harbinger of what was to come.
I wasn’t excited about ordering my entree but I totally expect that lack of zeal at a restaurant which has the word “Tandoori” in its name, especially when you consider that the menu contained an entire page for lamb dishes. There were as many of those as seafood and chicken, combined. The problem is I’m a terrible vegetarian. I don’t like baingan, yet there were two eggplant dishes, if I remember correctly. I’m also not a fan of paneer. In fact, the only things you can count on me to love are okra, chick peas and potatoes.
I did perk up when I spotted Dal Makhani towards the bottom of the veg page, but I worried that it wouldn’t be buttery or creamy enough. After dating a Dosco who was born and raised in Delhi, my DM standards are ridonkulous. All those cans of Bukhara Dal he lovingly carted back from holidays at home have set the standard for me; the only worthy substitute can be found at Heritage India, which isn’t surprising since at some point, their Chef had worked at the Maurya Sheraton which features my beloved Bukhara.
I was in a whimsical mood and I really didn’t want to order the chole or okra, since I generally prefer to get food that I can’t make myself when I’m eating out, so I asked the waiter for a taste. Forgive me; I’ve been spoiled at the ice cream store. What irked me more than his denial of my request was the way he handled it. Unlike our slightly bumbling busboy, who was sweetness personified, our waiter was…not good.
I know I’m the most difficult person in a group when at a restaurant, because if it’s not desi, I’m going to ask about exactly how veg dishes A and B are, but I also tip accordingly, since I remember my bartending days well. This wasn’t ChiliÂ’s; this was a pricier, more upscale place. Requests shouldn’t be received as if they are horrifying. Are you telling me that it’s only the $$$ places which take care of you? The one time I ate at Asia de Cuba, a restaurant whose cuisine I can’t stand, I had a fantastic time, because they went above and beyond to make sure I ate something and liked it. But that’s a story for another meetup.
Our waiter couldn’t handle basic questions about dishes or much else for that matter, so we looked at each other and decided to K.I.S.S. “Okra do piaza and chana masala with garlic naan and an aloo paratha, please.” He nodded and left without taking our menus or refilling our glasses. They had seated three parties at the same time in the same area we were in and the only good thing about all the commotion and confusion was that everyone was dressed more casually than I was.
We waited for our entrees. And waited. And then we waited some more. And then guess what we did? Yup, wait. Finally, someone came to our table…to take our appetizer dishes and the pretty chutney tray. Okay, that’s a good sign, right? Nope. It was just the commencement of more waiting. IÂ’ve never had a longer gap between appetizer and main course.
At this point, I had retrieved my moleskine and waterman and I was jotting down notes feverishly. I opened the abandoned menus to copy down ingredient lists and I wondered why no one was saying anything to me. The one time I took my camera out of my bag (in a quest to find lip gloss) at H+M on fifth avenue, I was stopped immediately by a salesperson who told me that pictures were NOT allowed. I would’ve thought someone at TN would be similarly concerned.
Whatever. Writing was a way to take my mind off food. Except it wasn’t. I found myself growing less and less hungry, because my stomach actually had enough time to say “What’s up?” to my brain, it was taking THAT long. We debated just canceling and getting our check, but we couldn’t find anyone to facilitate that. I was irritated, frustrated and on my nerves it all grated.
At what felt like a much later point, our waiter came by to enlighten us thusly: “It’s taking a while.” No shit. “Um, sorry?”, he ended before wandering off. Wow. My friend was doing everything but jingling keys in front of me, to distract me from how terrible the experience was. Our busboy arrived and actually took the menus. “The kitchen is busy,” he said, apologetically.
Several minutes later, our food arrived. After the samosas, I worried but still cautiously dug in, slightly alarmed that our bread basked was paratha-free. I had bigger problems; there was cheese in the chana. W. T. F. I do NOT eat paneer. I do NOT order dishes which contain it. I felt irritated, especially when I realized that it was not that different than finding a prawn in your otherwise veg dish. It just seemed sloppy and disrespectful. The waiter was telling a nearby table that the the food was very, very spicy and there was no way to really alter it when I got his attention. Reluctantly he came over and I asked him about the mysterious white cubes in my chole. To my astonishment, he pushed back. “They’re not paneer. They’re cheese.” Okay…
“Whatever they are, why are they in this dish?”
“It comes with it.”
“I really don’t think it does, I wouldn’t have ordered it.”
“Well, maybe you didn’t see that it said that.”
“May I?” I asked, as I forcefully removed a menu from his hand. I flipped it open to the Sabzi page and pointed to the chana. It was supposed to have pomegranate, not cheese.
“Oh. Well, I don’t know. I think it’s a special Punjabi preparation. I’ll take it back–“
“No, don’t worry, we know, the kitchen is slow. We don’t want to incur further delays, we’ll make do,” my friend interjected.
Happily, the waiter scurried off as I gingerly bit in to a potato from the chole. It tasted raw and slightly bad. Oy. I tried a forkful of chick peas. Also raw and slightly hard. Dear Julia, was everything going to be teh suck? I know they were rushing, but come ON. I decided to try the okra, since it’s my fave vegetable. The okra was fine, the cubed tomatoes which surrounded it were undercooked. Normally, I’d think that they were meant to be, but after the chole, the aloo and the gummy naan which I won’t bother telling you about, I felt like it was another error.
I had had it. I was slightly hungry, very thirsty (still no water) and thoroughly disappointed. We asked for our check and the waiter seemed excited to get it for us. I felt like talking to the Manager, since everything had been so awful. For the first time in over an hour, he seemed to have a free moment. I approached him and explained how the evening had gone. Before I had finished my second sentence, he was promptly and sincerely apologetic, assuring me that this was not a typical Tandoori Nights experience. If only his waiters were as professional and kind!
He asked very specific questions because he “want(ed) to get to the bottom of all this.” We walked back in to the room where I had been seated just as our waiter had snatched the card from my friend’s hand eagerly. The manager grabbed it and the check and said, “just a moment, please.” He ended up taking 50% off of our bill, which was a gesture we appreciated. As we signed the tab (still tipping based on the original check, not the discounted one, mind you) the waiter came back with a comment card, in case we had any feedback. Are you serious?
We walked out and I felt crushed. Not even a trip to EMS could cheer me, though I did see a sweet hoodie with the original ice axe graphic. I really wanted to like Tandoori Nights, because I think it’s pathetic that eight years after I first moved to D.C., only ONE restaurant, Rasika, has joined my duo of favorites (Heritage India for Northern and Amma for Southern). Are there really no other worthy restaurants? As much as I adore Amma, it’s casual. Heritage is nicer but it’s not beautiful. I want Tabla or Tamarind-level beautiful, even if this isn’t Manhattan. One of the prettiest places to get brown food in D.C. is the venerable Bombay Club, which has food that is almost as bland as Tandoori Nights’. I don’t mind going out to the flawless, chic Rasika but I have friends who don’t want to leave NoVa. Tandoori Nights would have handily solved that problem, if only the food was a tenth as good as the décor or the ManagerÂ’s concern.
Is Kerala Parota also called “Ceylon Parota” ?
Yes, also called Malabar parota or even Malaysian parota. Amazing stuff.. and extremely difficult to replicate at home.
Eeeeyuck. Having sneered that, I do believe you can get it in the frozen section of places like All World Grocery in Vienna.
As a San Franciscan transplanted to DC, I’d have to agree with Anna on sourdough–one of the many things that I dislike about DC is that the bread around here pretty much sucks.
We were in Los Angeles a few weeks ago, and had Indian food from a restaurant we chose randomly out of the book (Nawab of India on Wilshire in Santa Monica.) Just about every single thing we ate was light years better than anything we’ve had here in DC. While things have gotten better, we still have a long way to go before DC become a real foodie town…
why long for a place like tabla in dc….just come back to nyc on a regular basis 😉
what do you think i do? 😉
And then we can all work it off… Check this out…http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/06/09/bhangra.dance.ap/index.html
Vinny, I must pipe up and defend our fair city. Perhaps you are going to the wrong places, but there are some mighty fine eats in this city (and surrounding areas), and I am not even including any of the great big deal restaurants we have here (cityzen, citronelle, maestro, equinox, obelisk, etc). Heritage India, as previously mentioned is one of the best restaurants in the city, and I am not limiting it to Indian food only. Two Amy’s and Sette Osteria, make some really good brick oven pizza, Al Tiramisu and Pasta Mia are excellent for pastas. Good American food is plentiful, whether it be Cashions, Vridian on 14th street, or Komi; Zaytinya and the Greek Deli downtown for excellent greek food, and surprisingly, the Reef in Adams Morgan makes some great food, using mostly free range and organic ingredients. I was walking around Mt. Pleasant this weekend and stopped at the small-ish dos gringos, and the veggie friendly fare there were awesome, and really fresh tasting. For Asian foodies, there is Regent Thai and I like Bangkok Bistro. Sushi offerings are a plenty. We are missing really good Mexican food however–Lauriol Plaza does not count. The best part about these places are they are more-or-less not going to break the bank.
Incidentally, have you tried the breadline downtown to get your sourdough fix?
I think I can go on for awhile so I will stop now, but as you can see Vinny, I must disagree. I think DC, while not having the same plethora of options as SF or NYC, really does qualify as a foodie town.
Hi Ashvin:
I, for one, am hard-core NON-veg as they say in India. I don’t really like any sour food too much, including San Fran sourdough, khatti daal, imli, etc. And in my humble opinion, nothing goes better with meat dishes than plain home-cooked roti (if you’re really feeling decadent then plain home-cooked paratha). In my mom’s family (all confirmed carnivores) they relish meat dishes with PURI which is a bit much for me. Kheema & puri (with fried eggs on the side) is their favorite brunch. Anyway, as for Ethiopian dishes, it makes sense they should resemble ours since the base is very similar…ghee, onions, garlic/ginger, and several over-lapping spices. Like you, most people seem to like the Injera too.
OK, not to gross anyone out (but the idli/meat combo comment has embolded me): has anyone tried UPMA with meat dishes? I think it actually works, but I wouldn’t say it was amazing. I’ve done it when there’s no rice or other alternative available at that particular moment. My mom is a north Indian raised in the South and makes a mean upma.
Does anyone outside of Texas know of Clay Pit? I used to go there all the time (well not all the time, its a little expensive, but often enough). Their Malai Koftas are heavenly, the best I have ever tasted. Their desserts were great too, the mango flan especially.
I don’t really have anything substantive to add. I just wanted to echo previous statements related to the fact that Madras Palace in Gaithersburg is the bomb. As someone hailing from the Dirrrty South, it’s rare to find Indian restaurants w/ good south indian food. Madras Palace is a notable exception. And I feel qualified to write this b/c I am one of the rare breed of indians who still actually makes dosa batter from scratch.
yes madras palace is good. i’ve been to the one in greenbelt near 2 temples. i believe i’ve had it catered from gburg before. udupi is decent but used to like it much better. any non veg south indian places? around dc/balt area? none that i know of.
Udupi is very good. For good bread in the Maryland/D.C. area: Upper Crust Bakery. There are a couple around, one on New Hampshire Ave., past White Oak and another around Olney. Breads are pretty great and many kinds to choose from as well as all kinds of pastries such as croissants, rugulas, etc.
This non-roasted corpse eater loves Ethiopian injera.
So you’re a cannibal sans a tan with a taste for the terrible?
on the subject of dc not having good bread what are the factors for good bread? in nyc it’s supposedly the water. perhaps certain ethnic groups. dc was never really a european immigrant magnet. bmore’s got crab (the other kind too lol) and pit beef hehe. does dc even have a food? ive read the half smoke and maybe something else but still not hing comes to mind when people think of dc.
Hufu for me, please, with a side of hyphens.
Sajit, I’ve been to most of those places you mentioned, and I agree–they’re pretty good, and in a few cases (e.g., Two Amys,Zaytinya), outstanding. And I do occasionally make the four block trek to Breadline for lunch–it’s quite tasty, if overpriced..
Two things frustrate me about the food scene here in DC
(a) it’s not that you can’t find good options if you hunt for a while, but that they’re the exception, not the rule. There are plenty of places that thrive here that are stunningly mediocre. That’s especially true at low and mid-range restaurants (i.e., with entrees under $25). Again, Heritage India, Zaytinya, and Two Amy’s are great, but there simply aren’t enough of them–there are far more Mehaks out there.
(b) at the high end, there are some great options, but most are FAR too expensive for what you get. TenPenh or Asia Nora, for example, would be quite acceptable at $50 a person, but when the bill nudges $100 a pop, I expect to be blown away.
PERISH the thought! There aren’t enough of the VEG ones.
(I’m an unreasonable punk, I know, but it has always annoyed me when a place that’s passing itself off as hard-core Southie also serves flesh. If it does, it’s no longer a pure veg environment and I can find THAT everywhere.)
Minerva’s in Fairfax (Route 50) which I mentioned earlier, has non-veg dosas: kheema dosa, the infamous “Chicken 65” dosa, etc. It’s incredibly tasty and far from the pure veg offerings that more discerning diners might be seeking. 😉
Unreasonable punk et al, Eeeeek..south does not equal veggie. Various communites in the South including mine have strong non-veg tendencies. Actually we hardly ever have dosa w/o chicken ghassi. My ‘rents can’t lure me home unless I’m promised freshly killed goat.
“Hufu for me, please, with a side of hyphens.”
I just spent an embarrassing amount of time on that site repeatedly muttering “there is NO way this is for real” and then realizing it was a joke that tons and tons of people would get in like a second. Just when I was feeling all superior because I saw right through that e-mail about people eating babies in Japan. Darn you SM, darn you 🙂
but it has always annoyed me when a place that’s passing itself off as hard-core Southie also serves flesh.
anna I will assume your family is non veg?
Why is it relevant?
oh it’s just relevant cuz of the comment.
i’m not sure if most southies are veg as some groups aren’t (ie christians). it seems like tn and kerala at least kerala would have a majority non veg hindu populace. perhaps ap as well. for some reason i don’t think karnataka.
my opinions haven’t been thoroughly researched though i think i’m right about most hindus being non beg in kerala. perhaps it’s just that south indians are veg most of the time. i don’t know.
For my money, the best Indian food I’ve had can be found at Tiffin, in Takoma Park. It’s about a block away from Udupi and is a fantastic mix of north, south, vegetarian and non-vegetarian. They have a daily buffet and a great menu, not too pricey…my friend and I ate a full dinner there (naan, two meat dishes, basmati, sabzi, drinks and a desert) for under $40. Check out their menu at http://www.tiffinrestaurant.com/
Tricky things, assumptions. They are often wrong. My family is half vegetarian and half vegan. We are also Malayalee and Orthodox Christians.
Injera is a curse on humanity. That thing should be banned from all restaurants! We should introduce our Ethiopian friends to the charms of a plain naan, roti or even a paratha.
Why do the White people pronounce Basmati as Baas-mun-ti?
You’re my boy, Al…you’re my boy! 😉
Ick, I’m so glad I’ve never heard that.
I live in Clarendon, but wisely stayed away from that corner, except the bookstore. Anythin’ that sits by Bertolucci needs to be avoided. I think there used to be good ice-cream store there a while ago. They made place for this???
My only good encounters with Indian food is at a small hole in the wall called Ambadi – which was close to nothin’ not even a parking lot. Food was keralite, good avial, Guruvayoor style Krishna greeted the customers, and drove the business into banruptcy 4-6 months after it was conceived.
Amma in WI avenue? — go there every now and then after a nice run, never liked them, don’t know y.
I just visited Tandoori Nights (Nov 15,2006), and after several excellent meals over the last 3 months, they have imploded. At first we thought “OK, gee… they’re having a really ‘off’ night, plus they’re low on staff,” but then we realized that only the waterboy and the greeter were the same! We did not recognize any of the other staff there.
The waiter did everything he could do to get away from his tables as quickly as possible. He forgot one wine order altogether, and had to be badgered twice more for the glass of wine!
The food was decent, but not what we usually expect based on previous nights. The service was more like anti-service! The final item just killed it for us. We asked for and received our bill. As happens in groups you sometimes have to split the bill, but if we HAVE to ask the waiter to do that we attempt to consolidate onto as few cards as possible (tonight it was two). We also flip the bill over, write the card type or name, and the amount to put on that card. Many restaurant systems will not let them split out an amount over the total due, so we calculate the split based on the bill gross up for the tip.
Two cards. Written instructions on what amount goes on each of the two cards. Not rocket science. They reversed the amount for the two cards! “OK,” you’re thinking, “this is not a major problem — yet — and mistakes happen.” We waited patiently to flag down our incredible, disappearing waiter… and waited… and finally flagged down another waiter. We explained what happened and told him the charges needed to flipped (the split was 25% : 75%, so the difference was not small). Really, with a computerized system such as theirs, it should have been a simple task. Nearly ten minutes(!) goes by when they (someone different than the second person to whom we handed our cards!) reappear with new credit slips. The dollar amount was NOT reversed per card and the top of the slip merely indicated “reprint”!
Now, we’re patient people but this put me over the edge! I asked to speak to the manager. The (3rd!) waiter balked! I had to become loud and vocal before he would get the manager! If a customer asks to speak to the manager, the response should be “if I can assist, I will, but if you would prefer to speak to the manager I will be glad to summon him.” Calmly (!!!!) I explained to the manager that we have been patrons many times over the last several months, and that this was the first time we have ever had a problem. We then explained what had (twice!) happened to us. After yet another close to ten minute wait, the manager reappears with 3-4 reprints of the credit slip and hands them to us as if he has corrected their mistake. Instead, he took 30 cents from one card and shifted it to the other, but the overall dollar amount per card remained the same. After much protesting and informing him of our displeasure — and our intent to give him a real taste of hell if we were double-charged — he assured us we would not be billed more than once per card for the amount on the credit slips.
We got out of there and immediately called our credit card companies. I have two authorizations to my card from Tandoori Nights; one for 30 cents more than the other charge! I will have to wait 2-3 days for their credit card processing company to actually post the charge(s) to my account, but I am willing to bet I will have to contest one of the charges with my card company.
To think that I have introduced 9 new people to that restaurant based on my first (and very favorable) visit. Like I said, they seem to have imploded completely.
Me think Rawal Kabob at Chantilly http://rawalkabob.com/ is a good and cheap place to eat. Their preparation is the best.
I live about a mile from Udupi, Woodlands, and Tiffin and eat at all three regularly. I have had great food at all three. I went to Udupi last night and was very disapointed. Maybe I haven’t noticed before but it seems like nothing we ate was fresh. One spoonful of the Magalatani soup was enough – yuck. I don’t know, perhaps it’s a Sunday night thing.
Are fresh veggies used much in Indian eateries around DC? Has anyone been back into the kitchens?
I am doing research on the zimble family name amnd was curious what the expression “zimble Southie” means in your sentence (from the review above): Now this zimble Southie doesn’t pretend to be all-knowing about foods of the North, but I’ve never seen cheese in so many dishes before.