I’m sure everyone is sick of reading “my parents want me to have an arranged marriage, and I’m like, totally annoyed and stuff” stories in the American papers. Officially I am annoyed by them too, though I actually find these stories curiously addictive even in their predictability — like bad pop songs on the radio, or celebrity gossip.
Sarita James has one of these pieces in the New York Times “matters of the heart” column from the Sunday Style section. Though she initially resisted her parents’ attempts to have her arranged off, at the merry old age of 19 she decided she liked a boy they had picked out for her (he was 26) and got engaged. Even at the time of the engagement, the boy’s family indicated that he still had to “see” two other girls, in order to avoid “formally offending” their families.
So he goes off to India, and doesn’t call for a week or two. Oh oh. The family soon finds out the boy got engaged to an engineer in Bangalore! And Sarita gets these emails:
Dear Sarita, I am so sorry for what happened. I wish I had gotten married to you. Matters were taken out of my control. I want to apologize profusely both to you and your family. Unfortunately, I can never explain what happened.
A second e-mail message, posted five minutes later, read:
Dear Sarita, I regret my indiscretion in that first e-mail. Could you please delete it? Please trust that my apologies are sincere. (link)
The snake! But the explanation is even worse than the content of those emails:
A few years later, I learned that a large dowry had been exchanged as part of his wedding. Most of it had been passed along to his sister’s bridegroom when she was married the same year. Not only had the suitable boy let me down, he had also perpetuated the injustices of the dowry system. (link)
So not only is the boy a flagrant yellow-bellied wus, he’s a sell-out to the dowry system. At the end of the article, Sarita indicates that she’s still single, and she’s not doing the arranged marriage thing anymore. Good for her; hope she never gets an email like that again.
Anyone out there have comparable war stories they want to share (anonymously, if you prefer)? I’m particularly curious about nutty things that happen to people because of the internet.
Aah, I get it. I have been blogging too much I guess. Well, “Homewrecking” a new term for me and probably to a lot of men I know in India. Most Indian men I know (my father, uncles etc) dont belive in having a lot of women to satisfy their machismo. Family is fundamental and important to them.
Hail Vito Corleone
You do a terrible disservice to SpoorLam/Saffron Afro’s subversive parody ishtyle. SL/SA’s Juvenalian satire may not win points for subtlety, but its in-your-face humor exposes the ugly truths of saffronist ideology which his/her object of parody vainly attempts to conceal. Absurd philosophies can be effectively countered by ultra-absurdist comedy, whether you have saffron balls or not.
Go ahead with yo bad self, Saffron Afro. We will laugh along as you poke and prod fun at the absurdly bizarre philosophies masquerading on SM as subtle humor.
Sometimes a blog post, much like a rabid dog, needs to be shot to put it out of its misery and also as a public service.
Alright, shoot it dead. Just tell me one thing, though – are Canucks allowed into the Desi Dad Project, or what??
The Arranged Marriage Melodrama has finally lost it’s juice. May it RIP.
Timepass:
Ah, but is MoorNam really the saffronist SpoorLam would have us believe, or is he–like Barry Goldwater in 1964–a man who seems to be a reactionary, but is really ahead of his time.
Especially when it comes to matters of Eros, men like MoorNam–who have studied the ancient code–often have more insight than us enlightened ones…who sleep around in an unnatural and pornographic wasteland while futilely trying to remove the component of power from sex.
Ah, but is MoorNam really the saffronist SpoorLam would have us believe, or is he–like Barry Goldwater in 1964–a man who seems to be a reactionary, but is really ahead of his time.
Especially when it comes to matters of Eros, men like MoorNam–who have studied the ancient code–often have more insight than us enlightened ones…who sleep around in an unnatural and pornographic wasteland while futilely trying to remove the component of power from sex.
Yo, you’re like really into Moor Nam. Camille Paglia? Genius? Visonary? Moor Nam and Manju sittin in a tree …
It is amazing though how when the Spoor Lam episode started going over the top, people who wouldn’t normally defend Moor Nam in a billion years came out to say postive things about him. Nobody likes things getting too one-sided. We are empathetic creatures. This probably explains why homo sapiens hasn’t blown itself up fifty times over yet 🙂
Crimemaster Gogo, best name (what the heck are these things called anyway, handles?) ever ever ever. And before the thread is shot dead, thanks for your kind words Gargi, it is hard to let go of your parents expectations but I’m learning 🙂
And thanks for the image of homewrecking as entrepreneurial/arbitrage opportunity.
Hey Abhi:
What’s the record for most comments on a SM post?
Almost 600.