The words in the subject line of Sree’s SAJA email blast made me cringe. HATE CRIME: NJ Record on Hindu family targeted
Oy.
I’ll take the tentative exotification over blatant intimidation any day, thanks. What puzzles me most about this crime is the syntax of the spray-painted hate:
We Kill U.
We will Fire your house.
Watch Your Kids.
Feel free to scream at me for this, but I know desis who sound just like that, not that I’m in any way implying that it’s an inside job OR that asshat racists are usually articulate. “We will Fire your house”? To quote OMC, how bizarre.
More from the Bergen record:
Those threats and other profanities — spray-painted on a two-story house in black and orange and neon green — are terrorizing a Wayne family of five who police say have been singled out for their Hindu beliefs and Asian Indian roots.
According to the 2000 Census, Wayne’s approximately 1,000 desi residents make it 2% brown.
…The father said his three children are aware of the graffiti but he will not let them see the words scrawled on the back of the family’s house, front steps and rear patio. He and his wife drive straight into their garage and enter the home from there.
“They don’t understand it,” the father said of his two boys, ages 11 and 16, and 13-year-old daughter. “They were born here [in the United States] and they go to school here in Wayne. They learn what everybody else does. They don’t feel any different from the next kid.”
I don’t know. I grew up in a similar town (98% white) and I understood “it” just fine when I was any of those ages. No matter. My heart goes out to them. You may not feel different, but that has no bearing on whether people treat you like you are.
Are people driving by to gawk like it’s a Christmas display? Wtf?
Such is their fear that the couple, who moved into the new house in the Toms Lake community in November, asked that their name not be published. Several times during an interview Wednesday, the couple stopped talking and stared at cars that had slowed or stopped on the street in front of their house.
This disgusting incident of vandalism was foreshadowed by several menacing letters which the family received at the end of January, a month when their garage door was similarly but not as extensively damaged. Four months passed without further intimidation.
Police said the crime apparently occurred Saturday after 4 p.m. A neighbor got suspicious when she saw two individuals, described only as dark-haired teenagers or men in their early 20s, in the victims’ back yard. She then saw the fluorescent paint and called her husband, who urged her to call police.
The neighbor’s husband said Wednesday he was stunned when he saw the painted words, including “I HATE INDIANS” and others targeting Hindus that are too vulgar to print.
The neighbor is frightened, too.
“You can’t believe your eyes when you see it,” the neighbor said, requesting anonymity. “I mean, how do you make sense of something like this?”
The Mayor, Scott Rumana, is all about loving thy neighbor as thyself:
“Any action like this is not tolerated whatsoever, and I’m appalled that any individual and any family would be subjected to this kind of treatment,” he said. “We are all neighbors no matter what religious or ethnic background. We expect people to be understanding and supportive of that position.”
A community leader who is a former president of Arya Samaj of New jersey expressed her shock while stating that she couldn’t quite relate:
(Jyoti Gandhi) said she has never felt discrimination in her home of Saddle River or in the town where she worships.
“I’m very surprised, to say the least, that this would happen here,” she said. But she speculated that many bias crimes against Hindus may go unreported.
“A lot of times the Hindu families don’t say anything,” she said. “They just swallow it to keep the peace.”
Uh, many bias crimes against Christians, Muslims and Wiccans go unreported, too. I’m just sayin’.
Until this incident, much like the afore-quoted Gandhi, the victimized family hadn’t encountered hate. The Dad moved to Passaic from Tanzania with his family when he was 17, married his wife when he was 24 and then moved to Clifton. (Do you like how I phrased that like I was your ten-year old cousin? “The Dad…”? 😉
Since resettling in Wayne, the couple said, they have had no problems with neighbors and that most had been friendly. The couple has a small Hindu temple in their house and pray daily, the husband said
Yes, but did the vandals know that they had or did that? Am I the only one who regards that detail like a pebble in my shoe? Annoying and hard to shake?
Also rather pebble-esque? The following:
Asked why the January incidents were not made public at the time, Detective Capt. Paul Ireland said police had hoped the crimes were isolated instances and that an arrest would be made quickly.
Hmmmm.
“We were hoping we would be able to solve it without the public’s help,” he said. “At this point we’re hoping the public can assist us in finding out who is responsible for this.”
He asked that anyone with information call the Wayne police juvenile bureau at (973) 633-3540.
Uh, many bias crimes against Christians, Muslims and Wiccans go unreported, too. IÂ’m just sayinÂ’.???? HUH….WHATS YOUR POINT?
Uh, many bias crimes against Christians, Muslims and Wiccans go unreported, too. IÂ’m just sayinÂ’.???? HUH….??
Uh, many bias crimes against Christians, Muslims and Wiccans go unreported, too. IÂ’m just sayinÂ’.????
So? u mean?
Anushka, how old are you?
Is it me or are the number of hate crimes just going up?
Obviously I am not an expert in this issue, but it would be nice to see if the “changing environment” has anything to do with such cases.
On the other hand it could be that the media is giving this issue more air time than it used to.
On the other hand I was going to ask Anushka the age of her browser and the speed of her internet connection.
I have family that lives in Wayne and I live in a nearby town. As someone who was born here and raised in North Jersey, I have always felt the same as everyone else. I don’t know if this is just me, but I have definitely felt a different vibe the last few years, more blank stares, strange looks, unfriendly strangers, and generally people avoiding looking towards me.
A statement made to Sikhs by NJ Governor Jon Corzine, just two weeks ago:
That sucks. 🙁
Thanks, Urmi. I was hoping people from the area would let us know what’s going on/what their perceptions are.
Urmi,
Can you be more specific about what you’ve seen/felt recently? I grew up in (central) Jersey as well and lived there until two years ago, and am curious how things have changed for you.
Post here or hit me offline. Pooja
I applaud Corzine’s sentiments, but it seems to me, and this is based on purely anecdotal evidence w/ no foundation at all, that New Jersey seems to be a hotbed for this sort of thing…at least as far as the northeast U.S. is concerned. This goes back to the dotbuster thing in the 1980s.
I agree with you that I think you’d have to do a more systematic inquiry to see if New Jersey (vs. say Brooklyn or Queens or anywhere else that has a lot of South Asians) is a “hotbed” of anti-desi hate incidents in the Northeast. At least as an outsider–I think pooja and urmi and others would probably be able to come up with a consensus that would be more reliable than just the incidents that make the media.
That said, there obviously was, and seemingly still is, a problem. I’ll grant you that the dotbusters scared the $hit out of me when I was growing up (in Long Island…but with close family friends in Jersey City) and still does.
btw, if someone’s a registered wikipedia user, it might be worthwhile to start a dotbusters article. I couldn’t seem to find it.
i also grew up in nj, and i’ve had similar feelings too, uzmi. remember last year, that radio incident in edison? not that the non-brown people in new jersey have ever been extremely happy to have us around, like sriram and saurav mentioned with the dotbusters. but it was like until five years ago, before indian culture became super-trendy, nj desis kept a pretty low profile about their background, at least around their non-desi colleagues…now with desis getting a foothold in mainstream media, business, politics, etc etc…we don’t need to “hide” that part of ourselves anymore…we’re actually proud of it. and it’s like people resent that or something. and maybe it’s just me, but it seems to come more from the white, working class crowd.
I lived in Jersey city, where its more mixed like NYC (both are seperated by HudsonRiver) but we had our share of incidents. from gettin into fights in high school to getting pulled over (at 11pm) just cuz of the way i look and then told to “go straight home son” with a warning.
now i moved south Jersey, where it is different as in households keep to themselves. My new job is right next to Wayne, NJ (in Paterson) and yes def you get more stares and “looks”. But that is everywhere i go anyway. (Being sikh in US) this is bound to happen
Ask most moms in NJ, north, south and central, and they will chime in saying how they feel things are changing. From being an invisible community, seen as inconsequential, and hence non threatenting, desis now are inviting comments about their wealth and conspicuous consumption, as well as their hard disciplinary attitude towards their children
I have read comments on chat sites questioning the following in very aggressive tones…
All these questions can be topics fo objective discussion as all these stereotypes have some basis in truth. However, the intolerance towards “different people” who “look different” speak a different language” etc seems washed down by the lack of similar aggressiveness aimed at the chinese communtiies.
The given reason in these discussions sometimes borders on religious differences…Some say desis are the “new jews”
Dont shoot the messenger…All these are comments from a popular chatsite…not my personal opinions…
yes, there is hostility on he rise definitely accompanied by a flight of those who can to Asia….another growing trend….
NJ desi…
Can you post the names of the chat sites? maybe some of us would like to hang around these chat sites and actually clear up some misconceptions. as they say in hindi – pehle baat phir laat 🙂
another reason could be the large number of desi immigrants who are very young (relatively), very well off and do not feel the need to understand/learn anything about America……. as in the case of quite a good portion of IT folks. you can easily find such folks when they start talking about Indian Culture, respect for parents (equated with obeying every directive from your parents) etc.
the idea seems to be that America needs me and I need to make some dollars so that is what matters.
for those of us who used IT as a tool to get here, but, are in it for the long haul, it is different. again just my opinion.
Qualified Trash, go to any Jersey City waterfront site, or the Newport site.
I live on the JC waterfront, which is predominantly Desi and Asian, and where whites seem like a minority. Since the area is an alternative to Brooklyn, Hoboken and any place else close by which is not Manhattan (because of the ease of commuting, and not because its hip), the type of comments I’ve heard are different from the usual “Ay-rabs go home” bit coming from the white working class, and which you will still here if you track out of the waterfront and head into Jersey City Heights. Its more like, I’m gay, and Indians look at me funny, I don’t feel comfortable in that community. Or, Why do you people go to parties where only your kind are invited? Or, The women are oppressed, you can just tell. These are the viewpoints of gentrified white-collarish folks, with some pretence to “culture”, who are always on the lookout for good South Indian, which is to be had in Jackson Heights or on Newark Avenue, and not in Cafe Spice. The types who practice yoga and know what ayurveda is, and who would even plan a trip to Kerala.
When I hear some of these guys go on, I am reminded of Henry James, who felt that Italy was an exquisite civilization, which made him wonder why Italian-Americans were so boorish!
My thoughts…. New Jersey was a bastion of the old economy. You know those factory and white collar jobs that have simply disappeared. There are literally hulks of buildings that lie vacant in the NE. Much of this can be attributed to the economy’s shift to IT and non-centralized management. And now that IT = India(n), the disgruntled folk are picking on desis. And then they happen to call up Dell/Delta/Wachovia for customer service and voila!
Is there any study done on similarities/differences in desi immigrantion to the west or east coast of Amreeka?
Neale
Correct me if I am wrong, but this is something that has always crossed my mind.
People ( I mean americans) react very differently when they know you and given that there are more ( I guess) Indian’s out west, chances are that they have a different reaction to our culture and people.
Then there is also the notion that people in the west are “more” culturally aware as compared to the rest of the country.
What skews my whole logic is the fact that NJ (from what I hear) has a large Indian population, which should lead to paragraph 2 of my comment.
Maybe, I just need to go home and make myself a drink…
Santhu, I think you are making a joke, but I am not sure.
I grew up in California and am still living here. It has always seemed to me that East Coast South Asians have less social exposure outside of their Indian communities than West Coast South Asians. Ravi
I wrote that above comment and response to Santhu. Sorry…
you just summarized what i was about to say
Jersey city waterfront is filled with folks from india ITtians…I lived in the heights which is more latino and desi. You should see Dickinson high school, all PATELS and then i get the question “is that a popular last name in india?” or the best one “Are they all related?” how am i suppose to answer that question cuz my family is from Delhi and there is barely any PATELS there. white folks thinks India is just this one big place, they dont think about different states and so many cultures. We have more than 20 languages spoken in god knows how many dialects. and if i get one more person telling me that they are going to india cuz they ahve this new-found-peace with yoga, i am gonna jump infront of a PATH train
Downtown is really growing, i remember 7 years ago when no white people would even think about going to grove street or exchange place (a dump back in the day) at night and now all you see is them jogging around. I wish i predicted this and invested in some real estate, prices go up when whiteys move in.
ps. dont shit on Cafe Spice,lol, i happen to love that restaurant. I know its not the same as Rasoi (its always better food at grimey places) but def CLEANER with better cocktails
I was born and live in Edison My whole nieghboorhood is brown. There is like one white kid. I am not used to racism. Half my school is indian (i am in 8th grade). Edison has the most indians living in a single town in the US. To sparky, Tell me about the edison radio incident. I want to know about it. I love edison but when these hate crimes start poppin up it makes me feel kinda creeped out.
Our teachers are always gettiing mixed up with all the Patels.
I’m a college student and have been living in Jersey for the past 11 years (came here when I was 11). I live up north in the Bergen County area where growing up, Indians were a minority. Of the 1000+ kids in my school, there were only 20 desis. I didn’t face any racism, but I did notice that most white folks are ignorant of our culture. I do notice that when Indians get all “clicky” and stick together, white people generally find that offensive. My college is full of desi grad students, and I know white people generally find them funny. They don’t know why they dress a certain way, why they play Cricket in Tennis courts, why they rush to take the free shuttle bus home or why they’re so cheap. Though there are many deis’s in Jersey, the racism is still there. It’s there in heavily populated desi areas and even where desi’s are a minority. The problem I think is that when brown people bring some of their “desi” traits into this country, white people feel that we’re ruining America by turning it into a 3rd world nation. So what if a big Indian family decides to live under one roof? That’s not being cheap, that’s just how desi’s live. I have a very close white friend and we often observe the behaviors of desis at our college.
Your comments smell of some other kind of “ism” … You are trying too hard to fit in !!! One sure fire way to fit in with the dominant group is to make fun of those clumsy, cheap “grad” students.
When you have freinds like these, who needs …
What is a “desi” trait?? I have always asked and wondered where is 2nd world ??
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being racist against grad students. I was merely trying to show that they get made fun of at my school for being different, and it’s not by me. It’s not about fitting in, if that’s what you’re getting at. I have white and desi friends alike and I blend with Americans just fine. My point was that when desi’s come here and show some of their desi traits (for example, leaving all your trash outside…for who have been to Newark Ave. in Jersey City know what I’m talking about…no recyclying there), white people think we’re changing America for the bad. That’s where some of the racism stems from.
Dont take this the wrong way guys, but I’m just sayin’… Role reversal
Imagine for a minute that you are an Indian living in some Indian city. Life is very normal. All of a sudden, these fair-skinned folks begin to move into your town….not 5 or 10, but by the hundreds. Pretty soon, they number in the thousands. A couple of years pass without too much going on. But then the economy takes a nosedive for whatever reason, and there are only a few good jobs left. These “immigrants” begin to take many of the few remaining “good jobs.” To make things worse, they are better skilled than you are and you cannot compete with them for the jobs that are available, leaving you unable to make a decent living. As a result, you are mostly broke and disillusioned much of the time.
Another worrying trend, these “foreigners” refuse to assimilate and remain isolated in their communities. You have no idea what their agenda is, you cannot for the life of you understand their language…and it seems that there are no shared interests between you and them. They talk differently, dress differently, act differently. They also seem to spend all their time in their own temples, practicing a different “religion”. You begin to wonder, do they think they are better than us? A seed of suspicion forms in your mind.
In all the years you have coexisted with this “new group”, you have only gotten to know one of “them” (a member of the opposite sex), and ironically you got to know and even dated this person for a while(!!). But as fate would have it, this same person told you two months later that their parents had found out about the relationship and had imposed a curfew because you two were not of the same “race.” So, you basically say to yourself, “I am just not good enough for them? Who do they think they are…” But life goes on, and so do you.
In the end, you finally find work cleaning the bathrooms at some motel, with a white owner who treats you like garbage.
Now this may be an extreme scenario, but maybe this is sort of what is going on in Jersey. Or, maybe not…who knows. But just imagine if tons and tons of whote people started moving to India, how would people take it in this day and age….(and no, dont bring up the colonial era…I want to know about THIS day and age).
@Jeet
Downtown is really growing, i remember 7 years ago when no white people would even think about going to grove street or exchange place (a dump back in the day) at night and now all you see is them jogging around. I wish i predicted this and invested in some real estate, prices go up when whiteys move in.
@Ritam
Imagine for a minute that you are an Indian living in some Indian city. Life is very normal. All of a sudden, these fair-skinned folks begin to move into your town….not 5 or 10, but by the hundreds.
Dont think that can’t happen 🙂
They’ve invaded the Paulus Hook area, Exchange Place, and the area right behind St. Peter’s Prep. I was stunned by the view the other day when I had brunch at a little bistro called Amanda’s. Every passerby on the street was Whitey. I felt invaded, as though I was living in a country not my own. What, with Brownstones newly refurbished, cobblestone roads unmasked, and warehouses transfigured into art galleries and antique shops – any astute trendspotter would have known that it was only a matter of time before the neighborhood became fashionable again. Why do they like old buildings so? The types of places that would have been a tenement to their grandparents? What is wrong with high rises, which cute desi couples fresh in town on an assignment from WIPRO always, I mean always, prefer? These are not the Italian and Irish folks of my childhood; these are resepectable people who wear Hampshire College sweatshirts. The waterfront (sans the desi/asian neighborhoods) is just the type of thing Whitey wants. And what Whitey wants Whitey gets. Don’t ever forget that. 🙂
I wish i predicted this and invested in some real estate, prices go up when whiteys move in.
And what Whitey wants Whitey gets.
Its because “Whitey” has most of the money in the world.
I agree with you on that. I hate the disregard some people show towards public hygine. I agree that in some way its due lack of those concerns from when the immigrants have come. But I think there is a process in place to deal with that. I think the law enforcement should FINE such acts. Besides learning to not litter-at-will may be a kind of adjusting process for the new immigrants.
I mean to think that downtown JC was so creepy and now its so overpriced, its crazy Even Donald Trump is building two apartment buildings, supposedly the talled in NJ. and who heard about the old medical center being turned into condos?..its called THE BEACON.
*tallest ^^
jeet and eddie – I live in jersey city now and i can’t say that i’ve ever experienced anything really comprable to what you’re experiencing. I feel like my ethnicity is really a non-issue with a lot of the people that i come across on a daily basis, perhaps because most of them are minorities themselves. perhaps this is because i live in the downtown area in a refurbished old building, not a high rise. 🙂
i grew up in Jersey from age 10 thru college… in my experience, the more desis were concentrated in one place, the worse the hatred. See, when there’s not so many of “us,” then there may be the hatred of sheer ignorance, of something new, of the unknown… but when there’s a ton of “us” then, while the hatred still stems from ignorance, there is a feeling that they “know us…” The ignorant ones then find specific things about “us” to hinge their hatred on…
A few months ago, as I waited for the bus in Bergen County, NJ, waiting to go to NYC, I had the strangest conversation with an Italian man, wherein he told me that we Indians should be grateful to the English for taking us out of our savage ways and into civilized life… I don’t think he was exposed to that many desis, so his hatred was more theoretical… On the other hand, if there were a whole bunch of us who moved in next door, his hatred would have been (i speculate) a lot more specific, the way it is in good ol’ Edison, NJ… where the folks HATE the desis for clogging up the streets, “smelling up” the place, taking all the parking and, in general, being out and about and Present… How Dare we take up space?
raj, check out: http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/001428.html
I feel like my ethnicity is really a non-issue with a lot of the people that i come across on a daily basis, perhaps because most of them are minorities themselves. perhaps this is because i live in the downtown area in a refurbished old building, not a high rise. 🙂
LOL 🙂 I like brownstones too, they grow on you. And yes, when everyone’s a minority as where we live there is certainly not as much racism. I am a hyper-sensitive guy though, I remember silly little things. 🙂
…and the blonde-haired Terminatrix who destroyed all the desi contestants in this year’s National Spelling Bee is from New Jersey. Hmmmmm…
I go to college in jersey and grew up in bergen county. In elementary and middle school its pretty bad when the teachers are kind of racist. My town is largely Italian-American and I think they thought these “hindus” (i’m muslim) were troublesome, or some shit. And any discussion of religion usually deteriorated into a defense, rather than actual discussion. I lucked out I guess, and went to a nerdy math/science hs (same school and grade as the infamous KV), so the teachers weren’t that way. It was pretty bad for my brother though, who had to go through 9/11 in a kind or prejudiced environment.
although in high school we had a teacher who told us not to hate on the arabs at gas stations and 711’s. That was pretty funny.
I grew up in Edison in the 80s and went to college in Jersey City. JC may have been infamous for the “dotbusters” thing, but we had our own special version of it in Edison too, with the added bonus that our goons also went around terrorizing the Korean and Chinese families who were, at that time, just beginning to move to Edison. Anyone who lived on Dayton Drive (the North Edison one) in the 80s and early 90s might remember some of this.
I really think the resentment over Oak Tree Rd. in Edison / Iselin is a bygone thing, except for the complaints about traffic, which have nothing to do with race, but just the traffic & parking issue (although I grant that some people will make their complaints racial if it’s non Whites doing it). You heard it when I was growing up, from people who used to live there and remembered when it was “White,” but it’s been what it is for so long now, I’d be surprised if any old timers were still around to bitch about it. Then again, old timers will also remember when the Iselin side of Oak Tree Rd was full of abandoned buildings and stores, and anyone who’s been in Edison for more than ten years also has to acknowledge that the traffic’s gotten out of hand all over town, especially on Oak Tree, where they are now, finally, widening the road. If people complain about Oak Tree being Indian, they’ll also complain about Rte 27 in So. Edison being Asian, and they’ll complain about Amboy being Latino and on and on. And some of them will complain about Lakewood and Highland Park being Jewish too.
I’m not surprised that something like this happened in Wayne. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened anywhere, even in NYC. Spray painting on the driveways, street, etc in front of the home happened all the time when I was growing up in Edison. Sometimes it was racial stuff, sometimes it wasn’t. We got it a few times. Another thing they used to do was come out the night before garbage pick up and throw the garbage all over the lawn and street. That happened to us a few times too.
Can you grow up in a place like Edison or Jersey City or Saddle Brook and not “feel different?” I personally don’t think so. Even if you’re in a town with a lot of Desis or Asians in general, you’re still a minority and still aware of that. I think that the kids in the news story probably are aware of a lot more than the father thinks they are.
I would just hope that it’s a lot better now than it was when I was a kid. When I was in high school and middle school in Edison, the school nurses used to pull the immigrant Indian girls aside and give them lectures about wearing shalwar to school and that they had to clean themselves and wear deodorant. I remember how humiliated I felt for them.
Namaste Kem Cho i heard that new jersey has lot of indians then how this happen.hey NJ Desi if you’re not gone do indian stuff then why u would wana call urself indian.it doesnt matter where you live. Aavjo Jai Shree Bhagwan Jai Shree Mataji Jai Shree Krishna
NJ Muslimah, thanks for your post. I felt the same way/had similar experiences growing up in Edison in the 80s/90s. BTW, those boys that terrorized Asian families in No. and So. Edison were called the “Lost Boys.” (Scroll down to read a Washington Post article about the gang and their “activities” through the early 90s.)
(Shameless plug: I wrote about some of my race/growing up experiences in Jersey here. And I have another essay forthcoming (Spring 2007) about the same topic in a small New Jersey-based literary magazine.)
I happened upon this blog because I Googled for the latest on the Nicholas Minucci case. I did read that entry and the comments, but the the comments had been closed. So, I’ve been looking at other entries, including this one. Here’s what this ‘brown,’ but not Asian, person gathered from reading your remarks: Many of the people here are racists themselves, though they complain about racism against them by whites. (And, yes, I know those complaints are based in truth.) But, then, many of you go on to say things like this:
“In America however the facts remain that while there is a lot of black on black crime, blacks attack whites more than any other group attacks anyone and the media does not cover that or report it as a hate crime.”
Not only is that false, it is the kind of bigotry that no moral person engages in. The overwhelming majority of crime is intraracial, usually involving family, friends and acquaintances. White people commit crimes against white people more than any other ‘race’ does. Ditto for any blacks, browns, whatever. Nor does the fact that a perpetrator of a crime is a different ‘race’ determine whether it is a hate crime. Only if the reason for the conflict is about race or some other hate-crime related category is there reason to deem it a hate crime.
Someone on the other thread complained that minority organizations at his college did not welcome Indians to their events. Well, maybe the people in those groups reached the same conclusion I’ve reached after reading this blog: Indians are racist toward other minority groups.
How ironic…that statement itself shows your racism…
NJ Desi Puliogre in da USA
Desis are surely doing well in terms of living standards. The percapita income of an average desi is better than that of whites. Do these hate crimes have to do with that aspect coz for sure Indians (especially hindus) are the quietest, almost docile people as compared to the blacks, latinos, arabs.
I am white and 5th generation American. I have been a victim of many biases – ‘why isn’t your last name Italian, or you don’t understand us; we’re from the ghetto’. I would just like to say that when a culture is seen as bragging, unwilling to assimilate and eager to reap all the benefits and rewards as if they earned it, AND indiferent to their host country, (often seen as overindulgent, lazy, etc.) there is bound to be hostility. Every culture that comes to this country feels a tremendous amount of culture shock and a need to feel they belong. Hence, the Indian dating games, parties and mentality that anything white is not right. They feel defensive and feel the need to belittle the “working class”. What goes around comes around and we are all suffering from the sins of the father. My suggestion to anyone suffering from culture shock is to understand they are not alone. There is hatred everywhere, whether you are white, black, yellow, brown or red. However, the sooner immigrants assimilate the better off they will be, their family relations will be and their overall psyche will be. We older American immigrants (since we are all immigrants here, unless you are Native American) have learned the hard way…’When in Rome, do as the romans do.’ This is the best way to be inconspicuous. For some reason, Americans cannot tolerate unfamiliar behavior. This is not a perfect world and the hope that brotherly love will be the norm has been touted but not practiced. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Not scripture, just common sense.
I actually feel like most of the brown people I know think white is more right than any of the alternatives.
I think we all feel left out somehow. I know that Asian Indians are having a hard time here, but time will heal all wounds. My ancestors were not well liked either. The Irish were considered idiots, the Italians also, and so on and so on. However, the world is changing so quickly that this country has become a microcosm for what is really happening globally. Americans take the good from every culture that has settled here. All who come should feel proud to be who they are. They are shaping this country as our ancestors did. They are being admired whether they feel it or not. There is a saying: Those who care don’t matter, those who matter don’t care. This helps me get through hard times.
I’d much rather be a victim of bias than of a hate crime, or, as Anna puts it, “IÂ’ll take the tentative exotification over blatant intimidation any day.”
White is not right? Once again, I find myself siding with Anna: most Indians I’ve met could pass for Brockway from Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man in the way they exhort that “White is Right,” when compared to the alternatives. I’m also puzzled by your assertion that Indians feel “the need to belittle the ‘working class'” since, all caricatures of 7-11 and gas station employees included, Indian-Americans comprise a significant portion of the working class.
Short of bleaching their skin, this immigrant family seemed to be quite well assimilated, yet their “overall psyche” could probably use some improvement right now. I think we should place the burden of assimilating into polite society upon the perpetrators of this crime, not the victims.
‘I think we should place the burden of assimilating into polite society upon the perpetrators of this crime, not the victims’ I would never place the burden on the victim of any crime whether it is hate, rape, incest, etc. Once you have been victimized it is hard to see things in a positive way. In this country we never place the burden on the perpetrator because our constitution (or what is left of it) states they are innocent until proven guilty. This gives the victims a sense that they must prove how hurt they were. This alone is demoralizing and psychologically damaging. Unfortunately the victims of such hate crimes are always at a disadvantage and it does have a strong impact on them psychologically. However, I think you misunderstood the context of my comment. I only meant that all immigrants, not only Indians, will fare better if they assimilate. And sadly, there is no cure all for hate crimes.