Brown illegals look like Ahnold

In our earlier discussion about immigration reform, many readers asked “What does this have to do with us?” and “Why should legal South Asian-Americans care about illegal immigrants?” The short answer is an apparent non-sequitur: Ahnold Schwarzenegger.

Once an illegal, now a governor, someday a President?

Ahnold’s immigration history is similar to that of many illegal desis. Like them, he didn’t wade across the Rio Grande. Instead he entered the country legally and then violated the terms of his visa.

Ahnold first came to the US in 1968 on a B-1 Visa with the following rules:

“a non-immigrant in B-1 status may not receive a salary from a U.S. source for services rendered in connection with his or her activities in the United States” [Link]

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However, in his own autobiography, Schwarzenegger said that bodybuilding supremo Joe Weider gave him an apartment, a car, and a salary of $200/week during this period.

A year later, Weider was able to sponsor Schwarzenegger for a H-2 visa, which allowed Schwarzenegger to work, but only in the area related to his visa. However,

…he violated the terms of his H-2 work visa by launching this bricklaying business in 1971… immigration attorneys across the country said Schwarzenegger would have been barred by visa restrictions from starting his own business… “That would be considered a violation of your status, and he would have been subject to deportation.” [Link]

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p>None of this caught up with him though. We all know the Schwarzenegger Cinderella story – he made it big in bodybuilding, endorsements, real estate, and movies. He was never deported, and instead became a US citizen in 1983 (he still retains Austrian citizenship on the side). He married a Kennedy, hobnobbed with Reagan and Bush, was elected Republican governor of California, and is now angling to become the President of the United States. All of this was possible precisely because his previous immigration irregularities were overlooked. However, if the Sensenbrenner bill (1, 2) becomes law, others will be denied this chance and become felons.

Honestly, I have less sympathy for people who (like Ahnold) sneak in as tourists and overstay. They make it very hard for people to legitimately obtain a tourist visa; it took my uncle years to be able to visit us in the USA because the INS thought that he would leave his wife, children, house and business in Delhi all for the opportunity to live in Amreeka.

My concern is with the student who takes an off campus job for a bit of extra money, or who fails to take enough classes and whose status slips. I wonder about the tech worker in Silicon Valley who takes a bit too long to switch between jobs, and whose status lapses. I worry about legal and employed people who fail to inform the INS of their new address within 10 days of a move, and who fall out of status [Link]. All these people would become felons under the Sensenbrenner bill, and if any of them are your roommates, you’d be committing a crime by cosigning a lease with them. The bill’s provisions are broad and

… could endanger advocates, social workers, lawyers, medical professionals, and others because the bill expands the scope of the federal criminal offenses of of smuggling, transporting, and/or harboring undocumented immigrants. [Link]

Finally, if somebody doesn’t like the way an illegal immigrant looks, they have few rights:

The bill would enhance the Department of Homeland Security’s powers to detain individuals considered dangerous indefinitely, with review every six months [Link]

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p>At this point we’ve gone from talking about Ahnold to describing something out of one of his movies, except that he’s not here to save the day.

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p>Here’s my bottom line: I’m too American to abandon the rule of law. That’s why I care about illegals.

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The analysis of Schwarzenegger’s immigration status comes from: No amnesty for Arnold, he’s an “illegal alien” (I’m Kaavya-proofing myself)
Related posts: Immigration smokescreen, A Day Without a South Asian American: Boycott May 1st

116 thoughts on “Brown illegals look like Ahnold

  1. MoorNam — Ministry for Vice and Virtue.

    Jai, that is the scariest thing I’ve read all day 😉

    AK and Desidancer, many thanks for your nominations. I will endeavor to do my very best as minister of style, DD. For our first order of business, what say we banish leggings forever, SiennafuglyMiller be damnded? Then take up the issue of black tights with white shoes? How do you feel about ruching?

    Furthermore, in the spirit of repayment comradeship, I nominate AK to Attorney General. I hear he knows a lot about the gangja law.

  2. damn. have missed this discussion.. no clue that i’m now a party member… thanks DD for nominating/appointment

    i’m now a surgeon general candidate :). i feel honored.

    whohooooo… put me on. this party will be a rocking ;)…

    hummus will flow in the masses…. it’s healthy dammit…no vegetarian snafoo there… no silver stuff in my garlic hummus.. no sirreee….but garlic and onions will flow for the masses!

  3. Maybe that’s why “chocolate” was included in the new political platform. I was wondering why a guy would include chocolate. Chocolate is a female thing (generally).

    Get your facts straight CAD. 🙂

  4. Jai, I accept your submissions… except for the slight problem where you, Bongsy and Dhavaak would need to be US citizens.

    I’m sure if you name Abhi to be Director of Citizenship and Immigration Services that problem might quickly evaporate.

  5. Cicatrix, your first order of business is impressive. I support your motion, especially if it includes all spandex products. (spandex is a privilege, not a right, and it’s been abused, people). Next order of business for you should be public displays of Scunci, and/or implementing popular use of Male Purses.

    Chocolate, as Abhi says, is for all people. Coincidentally the Neo-Brown platform is tailored to appeal to all people. Who doesn’t like liberty, chocolate, and booty shakin? I think we might even get the Libertarians to surrender, just on the matter of booty..

  6. Abhi:

    Maybe that’s why “chocolate” was included in the new political platform. I was wondering why a guy would include chocolate. Chocolate is a female thing (generally). Get your facts straight CAD. 🙂

    Yes, ok, point well taken. Charming Chocolate Ganeshes. But tell me the truth, how many guys crave chocolate the way girls do? And how many men feel like they’ve just had sex after finishing a Hershey’s chocolate bar?

    While all of you are tweetering away with talk about “hummus flowing”, outlawing leggings and spandex,and an attorney general who seems to be an expert on weed the penal code, I personally can’t wait to get closer to the $$$$ rid of our alarming defecit.

    Cicatrix: how about getting rid of those “pouches”? You know, the big pocket that holds your wallet and sits under your gut? Oh, and how about you move into personal grooming? First on the list: a prohibition against men removing their body/facial hair. Now, I know this might be a pisser for Desi guys, but men shouldn’t pluck their eyebrows.

  7. Oh, and how about you move into personal grooming? First on the list: a prohibition against men removing their body/facial hair.

    Beards for everybody!

  8. And how many men feel like they’ve just had sex after finishing a Hershey’s chocolate bar?

    wow! do women really feel that way? must be awesome havin such an easily available sex substitute at hand…

  9. And how many men feel like they’ve just had sex after finishing a Hershey’s chocolate bar?

    What exactly are you doing with the Hershey Bar?

  10. Cicatrix: how about getting rid of those “pouches”? You know, the big pocket that holds your wallet and sits under your gut? Oh, and how about you move into personal grooming? First on the list: a prohibition against men removing their body/facial hair. Now, I know this might be a pisser for Desi guys, but men shouldn’t pluck their eyebrows.

    CAD Those ‘pouches’ actually have a name – fanny packs. And any wearer should be condemned to 24/7 marathons of ‘The View.’ No sleep allowed. Star Jones alone just might be punishement enough.

    I didn’t want to go for the easy targets, so I didn’t touch on shoulder-pads, frosted bangs, or bedazzled anything.

    But yes, DD, scunci products (there’s a whole line) have got to go..except for maybe the more innocuous items, like bobby pins. (who doesn’t love bobby pins? A little grandma, but so handy!)

    As for men…I’ve spent years arguing for the return of mustaches. Not for everyone, I know. And despite Patty Kaur’s best efforts (which I heartily endorse, scruffy is good!) not all women like full beards on men.

    Body hair however…Men will be banned from anyplace that waxes, threads, sugars, or tweezes. What the fuck is with all these waxed chests?!?! Eww.. Do you really want to look like you’re in S-Club-7?!!

    A little nose/back hair grooming is all right. But that’s it!!

  11. What exactly are you doing with the Hershey Bar?

    Seriously, not to mention the fact that a Hershey Bar is like totally slumming it. Have some class an treat yourself right. The chocolate content should be over 70% otherwise it shouldn’t pass you lips. 72/73% and it actually becomes good for you.

    Cicatrix, Star Jones was kicked of The View this morning according to reports.

  12. Clueless and BB: Look, I’m not talking from personal experience. I have read in tons of magazines that cocoa contains a chemical that resembles one of our sex hormones. Women tend to crave chocolate right before cycle.

    Patti: Beards for everybody!

    Better than plucked eyebrows and men with hairless legs!

    Anyway, don’t really mind the scruffy look. Actually, the junglee look can even be attractive in a natural, untamed way.

  13. Body hair however…Men will be banned from anyplace that waxes, threads, sugars, or tweezes. What the fuck is with all these waxed chests?!?! Eww.. Do you really want to look like you’re in S-Club-7?!!

    You might have to carve out an exemption for religious Muslims men :

    Men and women are told not to grow their pubic hair, armpit hair, or their fingernails and toe nails. Islam requires all men to be circumcised, grow beards, and trim their moustaches. These are part of the cleanliness code in Islam. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: Fitrah is five: Circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, trimming the moustache, clipping the nails, and pulling the armpit hair. (Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood, and An-Nasa’i). The Fitrah is the Sunnah (tradition) of the Prophets that we are told to imitate. It also means the instincts that are born with us without the effect of our upbringing. Anas said: The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) told us to trim the moustache, clip the nails, pull the armpit hair, and shave the pubic hair, so that we may not leave that for longer than forty nights. (Muslim, At-Tirmizi, Abu Dawood, and An-Nasa’i). [Link]

    The Taliban used to stop men on the streets for spot armpit checks. And incidentally, hair removal in-flight seems to be one of the things that airline security looks for as a warning sign of an impending suicide attack. [It was mentioned in passing in an article – a brown man went to the bathroom to go shave and the flight attendant got freaked out]

  14. Abhi:

    Seriously, not to mention the fact that a Hershey Bar is like totally slumming it. Have some class an treat yourself right. The chocolate content should be over 70% otherwise it shouldn’t pass you lips. 72/73% and it actually becomes good for you.

    I’m a Cheap Ass Desi, what do you expect?!

    I am slumming it. I even cut out 25 cent coupons for a Hersey bar, so I only have to pay 75c. My motto? Never spend more than a buck!!! This is why I nominated myself for Sec. of Treasury… cha-ching!!!!!!!!!

    Oohh… I can’t wait until I become Sec of Treasury. As soon as I do, I am going to fly to Switzerland to buy Swiss chocolate. Come to think of it, I’ll make a vacation out of it and stay in a ritzy resort for a couple of months. You guys can make do without me for a couple of months, can’t you? balance the budget.

    Cicatrix, you are the man for the job. Yes, get rid of body hair removal options for men. Place the SWAT team to guard the entrances of beauty salons. A virile Tom Seleck look is better than a wimpy, hairless, silky pretty boy look who seems as if he hasn’t hit puberty yet.

    I’ve been thinking, we need a Ministry of Household Chores. Desi men seem to set their foot in the kitchen only if they are coming around for a second helping of daal or another roti. Desi men only enter the bathroom if they are going to do a “number 1” and/or “number 2”, and rarely, to take a shower. Then they leave the bathroom in an incredible mess. They expect women to be their nokar. This has got to stop.

  15. I didn’t want to go for the easy targets, so I didn’t touch on shoulder-pads, frosted bangs, or bedazzled anything.

    Cicatrix– You have to get rid of shoulder-pads. I have been waging a personal jihad against shoulder pads. It is so inconvenient to buy an top/jacket and then come home to remove them delicately so as not to destroy the fabric which is time consuming.

    Also, please ban tight briefs for men. And no granny-painties for women. No sideways pony-tail hair style for women.

    Nose hair clipping, along with ear-hair clipping, may be exempted from the male body hair removal commandment.

  16. Ennis, I didn’t know that, I don’t know what I feel more bad about – not knowing that, or those poor men!

    “Pulling the arm pit hair”? I tried waxing my pits just once…never again, sweet lord, never again.

    but, ok, fine. Exemptions for any and all religious reasons will be allowed.

    Abhi, I did hear that she was getting kicked out, but since we’re firmly in an alternate universe here, I decided to include her. (although even in the regular universe watching The View would still be pretty bad. Rosie O’Donell is replacing her. and let’s face it, the show sucks. I’d rather experience menopause for myself than have to watch it everyday, thanks.)

  17. I don’t know what part of it I find funnier – big burly Pathans plucking their pits, ot the Taliban stopping them on the street and lifting their arms to check. I know it’s not very PC, but … I never thought conservative Islamic men and male porn stars would have so much in common. I’m picturing them in LA, trading ball-shaving tricks while waiting in line for the register …

  18. Also, please ban tight briefs for men

    .

    Cica, you’ll need an Abhi exemption from the Speedo ban … 😉

  19. Cica, you’ll need an Abhi exemption from the Speedo ban … 😉

    ABHI: You wear Speedos…..?????????????????????????????????????

  20. I’m picturing them in LA, trading ball-shaving tricks
    You wear Speedos
    tight briefs for men…granny-painties for women…pony-tail hair style for women
    I tried waxing my pits
    big burly Pathans plucking their pits
    how many men feel like sex after finishing a Hershey’s chocolate bar?
    Cicatrix, you are the man

    Seriously. What the FUCK is going on here.

  21. Seriously. What the FUCK is going on here.

    Bong Breaker:

    Ok, ok, I realize you are getting frustrated with the (s)elected party, and it’s not even in the office yet! Don’t get disaffected already. Political apathy can be a result of realizing that nothing has been accomplished. We don’t want you, the future voters, to feel this way, especially when there will (potentially) be free democratic elections in the years to come. So here two proposals for agendas that I think we need to prioritize for the upcoming Desi Nation:

    National Anthem: The “Star Spangled Banner” is boring, and frankly, the words don’t mean anything to me. A national anthem should be one that the citizen identifies with; one that makes the citizen’s heart swell with pride and patriotism for one’s country. The SSB doesn’t do this, and it’s time we chucked it. My proposal: The Patel Rap.

    Flag:The US flag, in our future administration, will just be a gruesome token reminder of the Dark Ages that this country has had to live in. Plus, it’s such a target of global hatred. We need to invent a new flag. My Proposal: “Borrow” from the Indian flag: instead of one spinning wheel, we will have 50. Instead of Red, White, and Blue, we will have…. I’m at a loss for ideas here. Your ideas are as good as mine.

    We are going to have to enact major reforms in this country. Think deep and hard.

    PS. Is there a legal loophole in the current immigration legislation to somehow indict Arnold for being a former ex-illegal immigrant? Also Ronald Regean for “aiding” illegal immigrants, as he had done with Arnold?

  22. LOL- this thread just kinda, turned, din it? I love how cic dropped an S-Club-7 reference and everyone just kinda glossed over it. I just double checked gawker for the Star Jones news- it’s true. I think that if there was a desi woman on the view it’d make it more appealing, wouldn’t it?

    Ah yes, this new Desi led nation is truly the mutiny taking over the world… 😉

  23. Hey, Cheap Ass Desi, re your bathroom remarks: A friend of mine (in India) insists that the ultimate mark of how progressive Scandinavians are is the fact that moms there are apparently teaching their sons to pee sitting…keeps the bathrooms much cleaner (and therefore moms work much less), doesn’t lead to arguments about potty lids being left up or down…generally spreads happiness and harmony all around :).

    And hey, guess what, I’ve actually met men here (in the US) who do just that…I had to make discreet enquiries when I consistently found their bathrooms beautifully clean :)…

  24. Ms Fink Nottle:

    Thank you for alerting me to this bit of news. When I get married, I will re-train my husband. When I become a mother, I am going to teach my beta to sit on the loo when he needs to twinkle.

    Speaking of bathrooms, what we need to do is install bidets in every bathroom.

  25. how many guys crave chocolate the way girls do? And how many men feel like they’ve just had sex after finishing a Hershey’s chocolate bar

    Well, at least one. But not Hershey’s–I agree that the chocolate content is not high enough. But syrupy bittersweet hot chocolate–mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

  26. ABHI: You wear Speedos…..?????????????????????????????????????

    Not unless I killed and skinned a Cheetah and made it myself.

  27. I suspect more men than we know/are willing to admit follow this :)… unfortunately there is social pressure that equates standing with some ‘masculine’ nonsense. IMO standing up is essential only in public toilets, when heck, I often wish I could do the same!

    I even seem to remember some kind of society of mothers to train sons that way on the internet 🙂

    My wonderful husband says that it just always seemed the natural thing for him to do (sit, that is) and yep, I will definitely train any male aulad to do the same…

    Bong Breaker, its only getting worse and worse… 🙂

  28. unfortunately there is social pressure that equates standing with some ‘masculine’ nonsense

    Or the fact that is it far more easier to unzip, flip it out, and piss instead of unbuckling, taking off pants and chuddis, sitting down, then putting it all back on again.

    If it was this easy for women to piss they’d do it, too.

    If you really want to make sure your bathroom doesn’t get dirty, everytime you see a piss stain, make your beta clean it. He’ll learn how to aim well very soon. Eventually, he’ll make his own cost-benefit analysis and make a choice on what is more important. Easy access and piss, or sit down to avoid cleaning up once in awhile when he misses.

  29. GujuDude:

    Or the fact that is it far more easier to unzip, flip it out, and piss instead of unbuckling, taking off pants and chuddis, sitting down, then putting it all back on again.

    The word “chuddi” made me laugh out loud.

    And it is too true, what you say: If it was this easy for women to piss they’d do it, too. How many times have I been so drunk but no where near a toilet, yet I can’t relieve myself in a dark alley or against a wall, standing up the way a man can? In these instances, I really resent men- they have it so much easier sometimes!!

    Your post clearly illustrates your sensitive, yet deadly accurate, sociological observations. Boj saras.

  30. Someone else: Well, I am delighted for you. Really. Especially if you are a munde/chokro, all the more convenient for you to derive so much…um….satisfaction simply from “syrupy bittersweet hot chocolate–mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.”

    Abhi: Not unless I killed and skinned a Cheetah and made it myself.

    Well, good thing you do not normally wear tight briefs/speedos. At least you won’t have to make any traumatizing sacrifices when tight briefs/Speedos become illegal in Desi Nation!!

  31. Everybody:

    I realize I was the one who spoke first about Hershey chocolate bars, but please, stop ripping at Hershey’s!

    True, it is the cheapskate’s preference of chocolate, as Abhi has eloquently pointed out (see # 61). But I am who I am, and I am one Cheap Ass Desi.

    Speaking of chocolate, and reeling this thread back to the blog, which concerns the former illegal alien Arnold, didn’t he come from a country renowned for kick ass chocolate? Instead of passing state legislation to make everyone miserable in California, he should subsidize imported Austrian chocolate for Californians.

  32. A somber observation:

    Remember how about a week ago, there was a blog entitled “A Day Without A South Asian American”? That forum was exploding with righteous wrath, condescension, haughty poo pooing, and collective pimp/bitch slapping levelled at “illegal immigrants” for being “illegal”, sucking the country’s resources, breaking the law, and illegitimately using our tax dollars. There were 259 comments, and it only stopped there because comments had been closed (largely because the thread culminated into virtual mud slinging).

    Compare it to this blog. Another piece on an illegal alien. But it only elicited 81, mostly discussing irrelevent topics-burly Pathans with shaved armpits, the Taliban comparing ball shaving tips, men waxing, men peeing sitting down,chocolate and sex, and an imaginary administration. Look how easily we– including me– got distracted. This did not happen in the other forum.

    One could very well argue, “Well, Cheap Ass Desi, you’re the one who started with the chocolate and sex, proposals to bar men from removing their body hair, and asking Abhi if he wears Speedos!! And look at how many ‘irrelevent’ comments you posted! So don’t point the virtual finger at all of us!” Too true. But I counter that by saying that I don’t have a problem with “illegal” immigrants. I have been consistent. To verify, click over to the “A Day Without” and see all posts under “Cheap Ass Desi” in all of my avatars and you will see that I even favor open borders. I welcome all immigrants– even those who are huge, muscular, robotic looking, blue eyed, blond White guys with indiscernable accents who could be very scary if I ever came across such a man in a dark alley.

    I’m wondering where are all those South Asians who are bothered by “illegal immigrants”. Why aren’t they here fulminating with indignation in this forum? Here’s an illegal alien who violated the law and got away with it. Why aren’t they demanding to remove his ex-illegal ass out of the gubernatorial seat in California? Why aren’t they lashing out, “I can’t believe he broke the law and got away with it! A cheat, just like all those other illegal aliens! That’s not fair; after all, my parents waited in line!!! Deport his ass back to Austria!”

    Food for thought.

  33. How many times have I been so drunk but no where near a toilet, yet I can’t relieve myself in a dark alley or against a wall, standing up the way a man can?

    You must have not been a female college Rubgy player in the midwest. Apparently, they didn’t get the memo that it wasn’t kosher to let it rip in public, half standing/squatting. But that’s a good thing. They were a scary lot 🙂

    As some women have informed me, the ‘hover’ over the commode of bars and clubs supposedly is the way to go.

  34. Gujudude:

    As some women have informed me, the ‘hover’ over the commode of bars and clubs supposedly is the way to go.

    Those women have informed you well, beta. Golden rule of the thumb: you always hover over public commodes. Only at home should a female feel safe enough to park her booty on the toilet seat.

    What I meant in the above comment (#79) was when I’m on my way home, like walking for instance. And if you’ve got a 30 minute walk to go, it is excruciating. Every time I see a male companion have the luxury to relieve himself when he wants, I always feel a twinge of envious resentment.

  35. Every time I see a male companion have the luxury to relieve himself when he wants, I always feel a twinge of envious resentment.

    Ms. CAD,

    I guess you have never been to Mawdi Gra. In N’Awlins, every corner is fair game for all the sexes even year round.

  36. Kush:

    I guess you have never been to Mawdi Gra. In N’Awlins, every corner is fair game for all the sexes even year round.

    That is absolutely “Chhi”.

  37. Someone else: Well, I am delighted for you. Really. Especially if you are a munde/chokro, all the more convenient for you to derive so much…um….satisfaction simply from “syrupy bittersweet hot chocolate–mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.”

    Stop using Gujarati/Hindi/Malayalam/…! Bangla is the only acceptable language to insert into English.

    But does that mean queer? I like new terminology I can fling at straight people. LGBTQM/C

  38. As some women have informed me, the ‘hover’ over the commode of bars and clubs supposedly is the way to go.

    Criminiy…I think that will have to be banned as well. The only reason why that’s become necessary is because the damn seats are splattered by women too drunk/outofshape to squat straight!

    Honestly, sit down! You can’t catch anything from a g’ddamn toilet seat! (unless we’re talking someplace that hasn’t been scrubbed in a while (or in the case of bar Siberia, years.)

    I’m sick of going out to a nice restaurant, forking over half my paycheck for dinner, and then finding out that the luxury fixtures in the bathrooms are not sit-downable. Might as well have Indian style squat toilets then, yeah?

    Ah yes, this new Desi led nation is truly the mutiny taking over the world… 😉

    Led by Abhi in his new furry speedos? 😉

  39. Someone else: Stop using Gujarati/Hindi/Malayalam/…! Bangla is the only acceptable language to insert into English. But does that mean queer? I like new terminology I can fling at straight people. LGBTQM/C

    Munde is Punjabi and chokro is Gujarati for “boy”.

    Somehow I knew you were Bengali. Don’t ask how, I just knew. Intuition.

  40. Cicatrix:

    Criminiy…I think that will have to be banned as well. The only reason why that’s become necessary is because the damn seats are splattered by women too drunk/outofshape to squat straight! Honestly, sit down! You can’t catch anything from a g’ddamn toilet seat! (unless we’re talking someplace that hasn’t been scrubbed in a while (or in the case of bar Siberia, years.) I’m sick of going out to a nice restaurant, forking over half my paycheck for dinner, and then finding out that the luxury fixtures in the bathrooms are not sit-downable. Might as well have Indian style squat toilets then, yeah?i>

    Relax, yaar. Don’t point your finger at me; I am a master at peeing while hovering. I’ve had LOADS of years of experience. Even when I am drunk. I never splatter and I never miss.

    Like I said, ANYTIME you are in a public restaurant– luxurious or not– NEVER sit on the toilet. If you’re a female, you need to learn how to hover. If you’re a male, what are you complaining about? You don’t need to sit on the toilet when you go to the bathroom….ahhh, I see why you may need to sit down after having eaten and paid for a meal….

    Sqaut toilets, contrary to the American public’s revulsion towards it, would actually be better. I have been to lots of public places in Italy and elsewhere that have squat toilets. Also, it is an established scientific fact that squatting is more natural than sitting.

    Hey, instead of forking over half of your paycheck for dinner at some schmancy fancy restaurant with disgusting bathrooms, why not send a little cash $$ over my way? I want to buy and install a bidet in my bathroon.

  41. Apologies for steering this tasteful conversation away from speedos “banana-hammocks” and, er, the dynamics of doing a Number 1…..

    I think that, in the new Benevolent Dictatorship of Desistan which we have all been discussing, it should be mandatory for all hot women to wear the tightest possible low-rise jeans, all the damn time. Failure to comply will result in instant remedial “disciplining”, ie. an extended spanking session until the naughty girl learns her lesson.

  42. If you really want to make sure your bathroom doesn’t get dirty, everytime you see a piss stain, make your beta clean it.

    And don’t have your boys circumcised. Makes it hard to aim, not to mention le weak petit mort.

  43. I’m wondering where are all those South Asians who are bothered by “illegal immigrants”. Why aren’t they here fulminating with indignation in this forum? Here’s an illegal alien who violated the law and got away with it. Why aren’t they demanding to remove his ex-illegal ass out of the gubernatorial seat in California? Why aren’t they lashing out, “I can’t believe he broke the law and got away with it! A cheat, just like all those other illegal aliens! That’s not fair; after all, my parents waited in line!!! Deport his ass back to Austria!”

    I’ve been wondering where JOAT is, myself. Maybe she’s busy at work since I haven’t seen her commenting on other threads. Or maybe she doesn’t want to apply her standard to big burly Republicans. Probably the former, but we wont know until she weighs in.

    You’re right though, CAD, none of the hard line against illegal immigration people showed up to clamor for his blood.

  44. Al_M_f_D,

    Re: Our friend MoorNam

    I was being ironic, but in a humorous and non-malicious way 😉

    However, we could have the “Anti-Taliban”, who stalk the streets of Desistan and arrest hot women for wearing too many clothes. It could be the polar opposite of the situation in Iran — there would be women who’d suddenly get whisked away by “Vice-enforcement Squads”, and then deposited back on the streets a little while later all blinged up, with matching glamorous makeovers and tightum-tight clothes. Strappy 4-inch heels mandatory, of course.

    There would be only one capital offense in Desistan. Saas-Bahu serials would be outlawed completely, upon pain of death. Of course that would just drive the whole genre underground, which would result in people gathering in sleazy backrooms and basements in order to get their “fix”. There would be dubious illegal websites with desperate addicts feverishly discussing the latest plotlines and designer silk saris. Oh, the horror, the horror.

    However, this truly disturbing development in human evolution could be remedied by ensuring that the major desi-focused channels show absolutely nothing except non-stop “item-number” music videos 24/7. I think that would be the only realistic way to stop the madness.

  45. I’m wondering where are all those South Asians who are bothered by “illegal immigrants”. Why aren’t they here fulminating with indignation in this forum? Here’s an illegal alien who violated the law and got away with it. Why aren’t they demanding to remove his ex-illegal ass out of the gubernatorial seat in California? Why aren’t they lashing out, “I can’t believe he broke the law and got away with it! A cheat, just like all those other illegal aliens! That’s not fair; after all, my parents waited in line!!! Deport his ass back to Austria!”
    I’ve been wondering where JOAT is, myself. Maybe she’s busy at work since I haven’t seen her commenting on other threads. Or maybe she doesn’t want to apply her standard to big burly Republicans. Probably the former, but we wont know until she weighs in.

    Sorry I’ve been busy and not around much. Juggling too many things at the moment.

    To state the obvious. He is no longer illegal. He is a US citizen now. The time to do something would have been when he indulged in these crimes and to catch him then. The stipulations to why a naturalized citizenship can be taken away from someone does not apply to this. What is the point now? If he was a criminal that caused harm to society I’d probably find it a battle worth fighting. I don’t find it worth battling at this point. It’s a disgusting shame yes but what now?

    I don’t live in California. If he’s offended the people of California (a vast majority of them Mexicans) by these revelations (BTW all the perks he received from Weider I don’t consider as a salary but living expenses) the people should act accordingly and not bring him back.

    I still stand behind what I stated before. I would like to see people gain access to this country legally. I would like to see those immigrants who have lived here for 20/30 years and contributed to this economy recognized and made to pay taxes. However I have a problem with a blanket acceptance of all illegal Mexican immigrants currently in the company. If that is the case lets lend the same perk to ALL other illegal immigrants in this country. Why just Mexicans?

    I would like to see immigration regulations being applied to ALL immigrants equally and I’d like the borders guarded better. I don’t like the current porous immigration situation with the US/Mexican border. There are anywhere between 6 and 12 million illegal Mexicans in the United states. At what point is enough?

  46. Maybe an immigration lawyer can answer this – can you lose your citizenship or green card if your status was irregular before? I know that the US government has revoked grants of asylum more than a decade later after accusing the asylee of lying on his original application. Technically, couldn’t something like this happen to Ahnold?

    JOAT – the deportable offense was starting his business while on the H-2 visa, a business that he admitted involved fraud (they’d knock down structures so that they could rebuild them). It’s an immigration violation just like overstaying your tourist visa.

    Thanks for your clarification on the other points. And hopefully JOAT-fan will be appeased by your appearance.

  47. Maybe an immigration lawyer can answer this – can you lose your citizenship or green card if your status was irregular before? I know that the US government has revoked grants of asylum more than a decade later after accusing the asylee of lying on his original application. Technically, couldn’t something like this happen to Ahnold?

    This is my understanding of it from a lawyer friend….I’m sorry if other lawyers have already answered this on the thread. It’s easier to revoke a asylum, H1 or any of the conditional visas, a little bit harder but still stipulations for a GC, significantly harder to revoke a citizenship. Short of an act of treason or other such similar instances it’s not that easy to revoke a citizenship.

    JOAT – the deportable offense was starting his business while on the H-2 visa, a business that he admitted involved fraud (they’d knock down structures so that they could rebuild them). It’s an immigration violation just like overstaying your tourist visa.

    Absolutely and I hope those that feel it is worth it would go after it. My strong belief is that after all this time, in his position of power and changing laws the interpretation could tie up something like this in the courts for a long time hence the lack of interest in it.

  48. Jai,

    That totally explains the Sepia Mutiny tattoo on my back…I was wondering how it got there….

  49. Like I said, ANYTIME you are in a public restaurant– luxurious or not– NEVER sit on the toilet. If you’re a female, you need to learn how to hover.

    I second that!!!!! In a big city every woman owes it to herself to learn this method. It strengthens your calfs and thighs at the same time.