As you may have heard, last month Bangalore decided to change its name to Bengaluru, a contraction of a Kannada phrase, ‘benda kaal ooru,’ which means ‘city of boiled beans.’
We here at the Mutiny fully support casting off the linguistic corruption of the oppressor. We raise our henna’d fists in solidarity and announce the following:
Sepia Mutiny shall henceforth be known as Faärtinfernø, which means ‘blog of hopeless flames.’
Anyone visiting us in North Dakota must use the new name, or their luggage will wind up lost.
Anyone using the old name will be refused entry into places of worship for being insufficiently brown.
We are spending 900 kajillion dollars to update our signs and stationery. That leaves us nothing to fix our traffic jams, deteriorating infrastructure and inadequate power and bandwidth for our technology operations, but our readers will be happy knowing that we’re spending our time on what really matters.
All blog business will be conducted in our native language: uninformed bloviation, semantic squabbles, unfunny jokes, incomprehensible literary references, tales of virility, meandering personal stories and poli-sci-theory put-downs which nobody gets.
We apologize for this radical change.
To more fully throw off the yoke of the oppressor, every post will be written in our ancient script of Chefspeak.
Yørn desh born, desh born Yørn, børk! børk! børk!
Related post: The tyranny of a transposition typo
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