Bulls don’t need breasts to get work in Hollywood

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Two Hollywood related items arrived on the tipline today and may be of interest to readers. The first comes from former SM centerfold Cicatrix. She points us to a one paragraph blurb in the New York Times which mentions that Nickelodian Films has just inked a deal for a new CGI movie slated for next year:

A young bull from Montana named Bamboo befriends a caterpillar that tells him of a place called India, where cows are sacred, free and holy. The two embark on a journey, and find the country while outwitting a group of pesky chickens.

Now that seems pretty cool. A bull in search of the promised land, looking for a place where his people can be free. The name of the movie? According to the website where the info originated, it will be titled Holy Cow. But why chickens? I would have chosen monkeys, or tigers, or elephants.

If you are listening girl…don’t ever change. Don’t ever change.

The second bit of gossip comes from former SM hit-man Amardeep. He points us to a Rediff article about actress Sheetal Sheth’s misadventures in tinsel town:

You can’t blame Sheetal Sheth for praying that Hollywood would take note of her performance in her first major film Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World and not worry about her bosom.

For, she recently told Contactmusic.com that many Hollywood agents thought she should have a breast implant.

…”About five different times they have suggested I get breast implants.”

But Sheth, who was a founder of the Hindu Students Association in her high school and later a mentor to many younger Indian students at NYU, knew her talent would suffice.

First I’d like to point out that if Sheetal had a breast implant then she’d look like a freak. I think I hope that the author of the article meant breast implants. I would write more about Sheetal’s breasts and the fact that I think she is fine the way she is, but my dad reads this blog daily and then tells my mom everything. Thus it’s best that I avoid adding detail to such racy topics.

Update: “Flygirl” informs us that a movie about a freedom seeking cow has already been made (hilarious!)

Related posts: Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World, ‘Looking for Comedy’ trailer, Looking for permission to film in the Muslim world

44 thoughts on “Bulls don’t need breasts to get work in Hollywood”

  1. While reading the story, the word counter in my head homed in on the word ‘breast’ and went beep-beep-beep before erupting in a torrent of cacophonous beeps towards the end of the story. Good luck explaining it to your mom 🙂

  4. I read about this last weekend at Naachgaana originally. One of the commenters asked for a picture to check whether the Holly fellas were right, so I went in search. It’s a testament to how distracted I got that I never replied.

    I will save Abhi’s blushes and pass my own judgement. Scrolling through the pics on her own site, I agree with the Hollywood producers/agents. It’s a cut-throat world out there. You need a complete package to make it in Hollywood (unless you’re an amazing actor or very lucky). I think you need it and then some to make it as a brown actor in America.

  6. Abhi: You bet your old man reads this blog everyday! I thought you will be completing your PhD soon from Institute of Geophysics and Planetary Physics – Department of Earth Science and space Sciences at UCLA. I had no idea that they have expanded their curriculum scope to include anatomy of female homo sapiens!! But then again you are in the “Center for the study of Evolution and the Origin of Life” , and a quick check reveals that this center is indeed devoted “to encourage and carry out scholarly activities relating to evolution, broadly defined -of the cosmos, the solar system, the earth, the environment, of life, of HUMANS (Homo Sapiens)- with particular emphasis on the multidisciplenary nature of the Science”. Please stay focused on the target (not human breasts). This blog will stay between you and I, and your Mom will never know how you spend your time at UCLA…Love…….Dad

  10. Anna Thanks for the compliments. Could you also please convey this observation to Abhi’s Mom!!……

  11. For, she recently told Contactmusic.com that many Hollywood agents thought she should have a breast implant.

    DON’T DO IT…DON’T DO IT…bigger is NOT better. Especially fake stuff…. Hollywood is filled with successful flatchested women, Debra Messing, Nicole Kidman, Sandra Bullock….doh!!!!

    1. many hollywood agents should have a brain implant.

    2. sheetal is fooooiiiiine !

    3. abhi’s dad is a national treasure. his interventions remind me of common’s “pops” who turns up once on each of common’s albums. nuff respect!

  13. I am going to watch my language and risque jokes now that I know Abhi’s dad is reading this blog!

  15. IÂ’ve remarked in the past that while Brooks had a neat idea for a film, setting it in India causes an unnecessary distraction. With the movie set to be released on Friday, Brooks is doing the press circuit, and came up with this reason as to why he did not film in an Arab nation:

    “The writer-director-actor says that when someone suggested Egypt as a more appropriate setting, he replied: ”Egypt? Egypt is where Florida Jews go for vacation.””

    I just flew in from MeccaÂ…

  17. DON’T DO IT…DON’T DO IT…bigger is NOT better. Especially fake stuff…. Hollywood is filled with successful flatchested women, Debra Messing, Nicole Kidman, Sandra Bullock….doh!!!!

    Jane, I’m totally with you on this one. Besides, the trends are always changing depending on what the big look is this season. You practically need inflatable breasts just to keep up. (And just to make another point: science is a wonderful thing. It’s given us the Wonder Bra, the Miracle Bra, and gel curves. If you’re too well endowed, on the other hand, it’s too easy to look like a hooker in just about anything. Flat chested women have like 10x the wardrobe potential. Sorry. This is a regular topic of discussion in my circle of friends.)

  18. Plus the actress from Ali MacBeal. And Angelina Jolie looked deformed in the lousy thriller she added implants to make. Enough Beauty and the Breast. It’s embarrassing. Moreover, tastes in feminine beauty do change across the generations. These big milk-maids will fall out of fashion soon enough.

  19. Wonder why they chose India in the first place. If the Arab countries have security/other issues, how about the moderate Malaysia or even Indonesia (largest Muslim country). From KXB’s link:

    ‘That the US government would send someone [to India] to find out what makes Muslims laugh is kind of the joke,” she says. ”We think everyone in that part of the world is a terrorist. So the point of this is that laughter is as common a language as music is.”

    Sorry Ma’am, but that title belongs to one neighboring SA country.

  20. Coming from someone who is always in one ‘gazingas’ conversation or another…Sheetal is gorgeous just the way she is. The only think I would suggest is less of those colored contacts. She is beautiful and doesn’t need to get a boob job.

    As Rupa and Jane said, her options are almost limitless with a body like hers!

  21. Besides the implant/implants, she’s a fine looking woman and can act to boot. Ofcourse that doesn’t mean that her films like ABCD were anything close to “digestable”. But turning towards the Al Brooks’ movie – why choose India/Pakistan as the place for looking for comedy. Why not any place in the Middle East?

  22. why choose India/Pakistan as the place for looking for comedy. Why not any place in the Middle East?

    See the related posts link at the end of the post above.

  23. Abhi is a Phd student! Dude, you spend way too much time on here. Did you pass your generals?

    Yeah dude, I passed them in December. I takes care of business 🙂

  24. “Yeah dude, I passed them in December. I takes care of business :)”

    Congratulations, Abhi. The real fun starts after that. As everything before that is quite structured (you know it). Anyhow, you will do fine. Listen to your dad though

  27. 2. sheetal is fooooiiiiine !

    As usual siddhartha is right!!! I am on record on this site to have called Sheetal Sheth to be fiiine in the first thread related to her.

  28. They definitely need their heads, eyes checked. How much more gorgeous do you have to be?!

  29. Arre, bahuj phine Gujji chhe – ekdam first class. (For the Gujju-challenged : “she’s a verrry fiiine Gujju”). You go, Sheetal Ben!

  30. Trying to not sound like the ignorant second year grad student that I am, but by “generals” do you guys mean “orals” or “midstreams”? Thanks to Abhi’s dad for the second-hand guilt. Maybe I’ll get around to picking an orals topic sometime this month….

  31. How could I have possibly forgotten to post about Sheetal? Sweet merciful crap is she a perfectly put together girl! Ye gods.

  34. Kush, you’ve put me off coming to the States for postgrad work forever! We’ve got none of that for PhDs here…

  35. Thanks for all the good wishes guys. As Kush explained the exam I passed was my qualifying exam. That means I advance to candidacy and now have to spend this year putting together my dissertation and blogging on SM a LOT less so that I can be done with school forever and return to my job bidness in TX.

  36. “Kush, you’ve put me off coming to the States for postgrad work forever! We’ve got none of that for PhDs here…”

    Well, let me give the biggest pluses of postgrad work in US is 1) incredible freedom as opposed to Bristish (UK/ Australia/ Commonweatlth countries) system, 2) You can take forever to finish here. It is more open-ended time frame wise. You can slack-off. You think Abhi @ Cambridge would have had time for blogging. Therefore, possibility for more creativity.

    Seriously, one thing no one beat US in their higher eduaction (post-grad work and facilities)……sure, ANU, Cambridge, Oxford, Paris, Toronto are great…….but they are only handful. Some of the State schools can beat any of them in a specific field (Chemistry at Indiana University, Oceanography at OSU, UT Austin/ U. Mich. for Engr. allmost everything @ Berkelely, etc. etc). Private schools like Cornell etc. are on a different plane.

    Therefore, do consider US seriously.

  37. Kush, I was joking 🙂 I am well aware off the splendid work, schools and facilities there and I’d consider doing PhD/postdoc there (some time very far in to the future. possibly). Over here in Oz, we don’t have so many qualifiers for PhD courses (so the concept is a little amusing for us): you get in, you do the work for 3-4 years, you submit. So if it’s a question of time, then doing it in a Commonwealth country is best. But the advantage you guys have is more money (agreed), the chance to take more liberal courses, streamlining of knowledge from various disciplines regardless of specialisation and of course, more time (agreed)! Also, you have a much bigger and more varied academic community. So you win, yards ahead of us in most fields. Then again, it’s unlikely that you’ll finish in four years.

  38. Then again, it’s unlikely that you’ll finish in four years.

    Very true. In some fields, in some departments, say it around 4x where x > 1, often x = ~1.5-2.

    You have lot of hoops here. Then at some places, they will not let you finish, unless you have published peer-rviewed articles and have other stuff almost ready.

  39. Kush, and therein lies the potential rub..in science I’d hate to have to stand around waiting to submit five years down the track.
    Incidentally I am somewhat surprised and thrilled that ANU gets a mention with Oxbridge (?!) 😉 Nice uni, crap city.

  41. Ennis: It’s pretty, it’s tranquil, it’s dull. I generally prefer more than one cafe strip in my cities 🙂

    apologies for taking this so far OT!

  42. being a hollywood actress myself, it is a shame that the industry requires certain attributes to be enhanced for marketability. i mean, there are soooo many south asian actresses who bleach their skin to look caucasian. now, i am already light skin but even if i wasn’t i wouldnt do that.

  43. For those of you living in Chicago, Albert Brooks is the guest on NPR’s Fresh Air program, airing right now, 11:09 AM as I type this. 91.5 FM for Chicagoans – all you others, check your local listings.

  44. and return to my job bidness in TX.

    Ya’ll mean bidnis right? Cuz datz da only pimpin way.

    No more dirt on here. Seriously. The fact that Abhi’s dad reads this is going to be an internal bowdlerizer for me.