Monthly Archives: December 2005

55Friday: The “Why Can’t I Be You?” Edition

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As I sniffle, sneeze and snuffle while unlocking the venue for our weekly nanofiction orgy, I find myself feeling mildly guilty for posting this six hours later than I usually do. I know readers on my home coast (where it is barely 6am) aren’t bothered by such tardiness, but mutineers here…well, sorrrrry.

While I normally choose a theme on my own, this week I had some help from co-blogger/fellow Colonial Sajit and a few of the readers who commented on one of his posts, which expressed how describing any brown art with desi spices was gag-worthy.

I must say, whatever resistance I had to the “write something like you’re a clueless reviewer, thus abusing ‘spices’ in every possible way” concept melted thanks to that Badmash of ours, who can get me to agree to anything, especially when he brings up one of the curries I love most (though my mother makes it with potato and not fish, natch) AND the ingredient they always discovered me sneaking nibbles of in the pantry:

Sajit, I agree. Anna, how ’bout it – 55s as angry as meen curry and as sharp as imli! 🙂

Mmmm, imli/puli. Know what else put me in a good mood? You might not, since a good number of you don’t read comments, which is sad when our readers go above and beyond rapid-fire ranting and write something priceless. Bongsie? Here’s lookin’ at YOU, kid:

I have perfected the art of knowing the Sepiauthor by reading the first line and no more. I’m flawless with Abhi, Manish and Anna but I need more work when it comes to Sajit, Vinod and Ennis. This was a CLASSIC Abhism:
“Since I am both an outdoor enthusiast and a lover of outdoor “gear,” I subscribe to the Adventure 16 newsletter.” (quotes mine)
This sums up his role as the MAN of the house and also demonstrates somewhat eccentric reading material – a must for any blogger. Great topics for Abhi to post about: WAR, POLITICS, WAR POLITICS, FIGHTING, MACHINES, SPACE, CAPITAL LETTERS, ROCKS and RAW MEAT.
Manish is more esoteric and loads up the sarcasm.[linky]

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Tai-pan tries paan

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This is so cute — a non-desi journalist tries paan for the first time, with all the variness of a wegetarian trying a Chicken McNugget.

A rush of unfamiliar flavors flooded my tongue. After a few moments, I got nervous and spit it into my napkin. While I hoped that I wouldn’t later be punished by days in my hotel bathroom, part of me regretted the fact that I hadn’t had the full paan experience…

“What’s its appeal?” I asked. He looked at me as if I were crazy, like I was asking him why people liked chocolate. “It’s good. Everybody likes it…”

The first taste was one of overwhelming sweetness–from the rose syrup–and then I got a tang of menthol. The contents were crunchy, and the rose petal scent was strong. As I continued to chew and as the sweetness subsided, I began to taste the licorice flavor of the fennel and the warm spiciness of the cardamom…

It was strange and jarring, kind of how I remember very dark chocolate or Marmite tasting when I was a kid. But it wasn’t just the taste, it was also the mix of unusual textures–the feeling of chewing some mulch, twigs and gooey gel wrapped up in a leaf… [Link]

You can’t really use a clichéd food metaphor when you’re already reviewing food, but you just know this tai-pan has a plan B:

… it woke up my tired nose and jaded taste buds, like a walk through a crowded market in India… [Link]

The subtitle is ‘The new hot treat from India.’ This paandemic is new, didn’tcha know?

Related posts: Boing Boing discovers paan, Candy Cain

Kenara Paan Shop, 134 E. 27 St. & Lexington Ave., Manhattan, 212-481-1660

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Barbershop

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The comedy Barbershop relied on the fact that black-owned barbershops are male watering holes, informal congregations based on gossip and habit. Now New Delhi is hoping the smell of shaving cream and menthol will not only bring in the shearlings, but also help fight AIDS. Barbers have begun handing out prophylactics and pamphlets (thanks, Saurav):

Eighty-five barbers in [Delhi’s] congested southern district of Lajpat Nagar are currently involved in a programme to promote safe sex and spread the message of prevention against HIV/AIDS to their customers…

“… sometimes when I feel awkward, I point them to the posters in the shop. I have also trained others in my shop…”

… sometimes customers say they are aware of the importance of safe sex but find condoms “too expensive”. “But when I told them that they can collect condoms from various government hospitals and my shop free of cost, they readily agreed to use them. Now they even ask for them on their own…”

Eleven thousand packets of condoms have been distributed by the 85 barbers in the past six months in Lajpat Nagar alone. [Link]

Call me crazy, but I don’t like mixing straight razors with the family jewels. Eventually I saw the appeal of it. When you come in, they take a little off the top. When you leave, they give you something to put back on. I’ll never look at a barber pole the same way again.

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Crisp or Not

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One of my college buddies was mired in a highbrow Ph.D. program for many long years. The next time I saw him, he’d put the degree on hold and gone into business with a mutual friend, and they seemed to be doing well. ‘What happened?’ I asked. And Jim and James told me the story behind Hot or Not.

As you know, that site inspired has lots of imitators, some parodies, some not. From fertile brown minds came RateDesi. Now there’s a new contender to help you winnow your beard-sniffing dreams. It’s called Rate My Turban (via Ash Singh).

I don’t think I give anything away when I say that the top-ranked specimen perches atop the cranium of a Nihang Sikh:


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Oh, What a Tangled Wig We Weave…

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baldie.jpg

How far would you go to avoid something unpleasant? Would you lie? Cheat? Publicly HUMILIATE yourself? Via the BBC:

Bollywood star Salman Khan has given an unusual excuse for not attending court this week in India – he was recovering from hair implants, his lawyers say.

Oh, it hurts to chortle THIS much. The Khan I like least had to stay home to recover from all the plugging he took. An advocate for the wispy one had more to add:

Khan’s lawyer, Dipesh Mehta, said this was the first time the actor had had hair implants.
“Salman Khan had just returned from Dubai and undergone hair-weaving treatment,” he told the BBC. “He was also suffering from flu and not feeling well.”

Feeling plugged or not, Salman is in trouble. Not showing up for his trial resulted in cancelled bail (and the Beeb article…and this post…and the evil gleam in my eye…)

Salman Khan is accused of killing two blackbucks, a small, protected species of Indian antelope, in the city of Jodhpur during a film shoot in 1998.

Mais oui, Vain-y McPlugster denies all charges. Most of you are aware– this isn’t the first time he’s behaved badly and claimed innocence. In 2002, Khan decided that homeless people looked like road and drove over them, killing one and injuring three. Besides this poaching case which he’s attempting to unplug from, he also faces a trial in Mumbai for that stunning example of deadly recklessness. Continue reading →

Purple is for Freedom

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Giving Jindal the finger

As you may recall from a past post, during Iraq’s first election earlier this year, Congressman Bobby Jindal sent an email out to his fellow Republican lawmakers: paint your fingers purple in solidarity with the Iraqis. It was a great political stunt. Now it seems that some bratty little ten year old girl from Montana has stolen Jindal’s idea and gone national with the Purple Finger for Freedom campaign:

If Shelby Dangerfield were an adult in Iraq today, she would risk her life for the chance to vote.

Because she is a 10-year-old Billings girl, Shelby won’t be going to the polls. But she will be will be showing her support by wearing ink on her finger – just like those Iraqis who have voted.

“It will symbolize our support if we wear ink on our fingers,” Shelby said. “We’re not forcing them to vote, but they have a chance to do it and they should take that chance.”

Shelby said Saturday afternoon she hoped to set up a stand at Rimrock Mall today where people could sign their names and roll their fingers on a stamp pad, but her plans were not yet inked.

She’d love to wake up Monday morning and see people around the United States with blue index fingers.

“Do you have your blue ink?” she asked. “It’s food for thought.” [Link]

Well isn’t that precious? It makes me sick! How can ideas just be stolen in a law-fearing and God-fearing country like the U.S.? Does this little girl have no shame? Has anyone seen people with purple fingers over the last three days? The only fingers I see in L.A. are while I am driving, and none of them have been purple. There are some folks participating I’m sure. I wonder what it would take to get a “Sepia finger” campaign going. I’d need a good cause of course. Continue reading →

The dead zone

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Much of humanity has been working for the past year to rebuild the shattered lives and infrastructure laid waste by last DecemberÂ’s devastating tsunami in the Indian Ocean. For the first time however, we are getting a glimpse at the damage suffered by the deep-sea ecosystem at one site near the epicenter of the 9.3 earthquake. Needless to say, the jellyfish and cephalopods were not happy either.

An example of deep-sea life: female anglerfish

A dead zone, devoid of all marine life, has been discovered near the epicentre of last year’s tsunami earthquake, 2.5 miles beneath the surface of the Indian Ocean.

The first scientific expedition to the epicentre found little or no effect on deep sea fauna except at one site off Sumatra where, five months after the disaster, no evidence was found of large animals.

British scientists taking part in the Census of Marine Life, a worldwide marine survey, made an 11-hour dive with a robot submarine. [Link]

The Census of Marine Life is a group of scientists engaged in an important ten year study:

Through 2010, scientists worldwide will work to quantify what is known, unknown, and what may never be known about the world’s oceans-which comprise more than 70 percent of the Earth’s surface and more than 90 percent of its biosphere. Their answers will help identify threatened species and important breeding areas, helping authorities develop effective strategies for the sustainable management of marine resources. New pharmaceuticals and industrial compounds are also among the potential uses of the estimated thousands of undescribed species that will be found. And as the secrets of the planet’s last unexplored frontier are revealed, our understanding of elemental processes such as climate, evolution, extinction, and migration will expand.

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Skype’s Sepia Avatars

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Disco DJ Ennis in da virtual hiz-ouse!

Remember “flesh colored” bandaids – the ones that didn’t look anything like your flesh, and which stood out like a pink gash on your arm? This same problem recurs in the virtual world. Cyberspace is oddly eurocentric given the vast number of cyber-coolies who work to maintain and extend it. Despite the years that have elapsed since the end of the flesh-colored crayon, very little of the virtual world is easily extensible to look like me.

One noteworthy exception is a company called Weeworld that specializes in the creation of avatars for use with Skype or other services. Their web application lets you specify settings for 23 variables, each of which can take on multiple values, to create an image of yourself for only 1.5 Euros. Not only can you specify whatever skin, hair and eye color you want, but you can also give your icon facial hair and even a fairly realistic looking turban! It is a profound demonstration of the deep penetration of desis into British cultural life when a British company, producing for a largely European audience, includes a turban as a standard option. [Hat tip to Mr Sikhnet]

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Movement Without Immigration

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desitech.jpg Most of H.R. 4437, the “Border Protection, Antiterrorism, and Illegal Immigration Control Act of 2005” discussed in Abhi’s post, looks like the trainwreck that he deems it. Still, I think that the part that amends Section 274A of the Immigration and Nationality Act (8 U.S.C. 1324a) to increase penalties on employers for hiring undocumented workers is a step in the right direction. The United States needs a more honest immigration policy, one that includes neither support for law-breaking nor animus toward immigrants, and as long as employers win on the cost benefit analysis — F x P < S, where F= cost of fines, P= probability of getting caught, and S= saved money from using undocumented labor — we never will have such reforms. Supporting illegal immigration is at best a short term help to such aliens, as they deal with the longterm problems of having to remain invisible and lack access to the safety net for the elderly, i.e. Social Security and Medicare. Whose sympathy for the undocumented cab driver extends far enough to pay for his prescriptions when he’s too old to drive anymore? Continue reading →

Makes me want to buy lots of gear

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Since I am both an outdoor enthusiast and a lover of outdoor “gear,” I subscribe to the Adventure 16 newsletter. Adventure 16 is a Southern California outdoor equipment retailer. A couple times a month the local store holds an informal seminar or slideshow about some kick-ass expedition or nature trip that has taken place or soon will. In theory, you’ll be so amped after the presentation that you will buy lots of gear from the store, hoping someday to emulate the feat that you have just heard about. My most recent newsletter featured a blurb about an upcoming event that will relate details about an adventure that I had surprisingly never heard of:

In the 1960’s, the CIA and the Indian Government attempted to deploy a plutonium-powered spy device on Nanda Devi and Nanda Kot in the Indian Himalayas. While Nanda Kot’s device was successfully deployed, Nada Devi rejected all attempts to place the device on her summit and the plutonium was lost and never recovered. In August 2005, Pete Takeda and his crew retraced the spy route on Nanda Kot, visiting the camps used to stage the 1936 first ascent and the spy missions of the 1960’s. Don’t miss this amazing journey! FREE!

San Diego Store: Mon., Jan. 9
West Los Angeles Store: Tues., Jan. 10

This sounds like the beginning to a Tom Clancy novel. I am intrigued. Must-learn-more. As you may have expected, there is in fact an entire book written on this subject: Spy On The Roof Of The World : Espionage and Survival in the Himalayas.

In this cross between a travel adventure story and an espionage novel, Sydney Wignall tells how he became an ad hoc spy for a renegade faction of Indian intelligence operatives in 1955. Wignall had set out to climb the highest mountain in Tibet, but was recruited to investigate Chinese military activity in the region. After being caught, he spent months in a rat-infested, sub-freezing cell as he underwent interrogation. When international pressure forced his release, his captors “released” him and two companions in a nearly impenetrable wintertime wilderness and said “Go home.” Yet Wignall survived–and managed to smuggle out vital information. It is an exhilarating story that only now can be told. [Link]
  • Renegade faction of Indian intelligence
  • Months in a rat-infested cell
  • Interrogation
  • Impenetrable wintertime

If that list isn’t enough to get me to open my wallet and drop some money on new gear at Adventure 16, then frankly I’m not much of a man.

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