About last night | Sepia Mutiny

A Sikh, a Sri Lankan and a regular Joginder walk into a Whole Foods cafÃ©. Cicatrix has her hair blown straight and at this very moment can pass for brown Japanese. I’m sometimes confused with Latino. But Ennis the turbaned Sikh? People recognize. There’s no mistaking where he’s from.

Ennis makes a food run downstairs. Here’s what he hears in the sushi line: ‘Sat sri akal, sardarji!’ It’s coming from the chefs rolling seaweed serpents behind a chic bar. They’re actually Tibetan, not Japanese. They say they get hired to work the sushi counter because ‘assi chinki lagde ne’ (we look East Asian).

So Punjabi-speaking Tibetans pass for Japanese by resembling the Chinese because it fools Americans. It’s like Sepia-ites inventing black ancestry to win street cred in North Dakota

The conversation turns to accused shooter Biswanath Halder, a longtime ranter on Usenet (one prescient 1993 reply was titled ‘Mr. Biswanath Halder, please calm down‘). There’s disbelief over the mechanics of the rampage. I explain that a thousand rounds don’t take much space at all. Ten small boxes, neatly packed as chocolates. The turbaned man looks worried and says, ‘Keep your voice down.’ It’s just a Sri Lankan, a turbaned guy and a pajamahedeen shootin’ the shit, saying things now off-limits to brown people in public.

10 thoughts on “About last night”

Man, I wish I’d have been there! All you needed was a wheel man and you’d have had a crew.

no shortage of jokes with regard to Abhi’s “Bloz N Da Hood” pic 😉

I explain that a thousand rounds donÂ’t take much space at all. Ten small boxes, neatly packed as chocolates.

The well prepared shooter should always have some of these…BetaCo 100 round C Mag 😉

you know what would be insidious – if those tibetan dudes started serving sushi in the form of a swastika… heck… i;m sure you have photoshop lying around… and it’s three clicks and a wash to clean up the photo above.

lol Nice story. It reminds me of a time I was with some friends of mine and we were talking about guns, bullets, armor, terrorists and maps. Some of the people near us seemed to get a bit agitated…until we mentioned the words “Counter Strike”.

I also liked your “Indian Enough” link,

The great irony is that the most Â‘authenticÂ’ desis, those raised in India, are often bored with their own palettes and lack of cultural diversity. TheyÂ’re simultaneously impervious to charges of selling out and, with the cosmopolitan ones, more interested in outmarrying than desis raised in the U.S. ItÂ’s the grass-is-greener effect: in London, you can sell burgers as Authentically American! while in the U.S., wine proclaims itself D.O. status. (Granted that nobody sells Tasty English food! per se.)

…Couldn’t have said it better myself.

That link from the word ‘Sikh’ takes us to a Biswanath Halder pic. Granted, we’ve never seen Ennis’s face. But the man needs to have a turban round his head.

That link from the word ‘Sikh’ takes us to a Biswanath Halder pic. Granted, we’ve never seen Ennis’s face. But the man needs to have a turban round his head.

ennis surely can’t that bad. besides, the beard’s a different colour. and i bet he’s not that freaky looking!

Did you follow all the rules of eating Sushi Sushi Sushi?? 🙂

That link from the word ‘Sikh’ takes us to a Biswanath Halder pic.

Whoah… that wasn’t editorial commentary. Fixed, thanks.

I think it’s unfortunate that we have to watch what we say in public for fear of panicking bystanders.

Abhi on December 23, 2005 at 12:10 pm said:

Man, I wish I’d have been there! All you needed was a wheel man and you’d have had a crew.
DesiDancer on December 23, 2005 at 12:56 pm said:

no shortage of jokes with regard to Abhi’s “Bloz N Da Hood” pic 😉
Vikram on December 23, 2005 at 12:58 pm said:

I explain that a thousand rounds donÂ’t take much space at all. Ten small boxes, neatly packed as chocolates.

The well prepared shooter should always have some of these…BetaCo 100 round C Mag 😉
dhaavak on December 23, 2005 at 1:05 pm said:

you know what would be insidious – if those tibetan dudes started serving sushi in the form of a swastika… heck… i;m sure you have photoshop lying around… and it’s three clicks and a wash to clean up the photo above.
A More Original Name on December 23, 2005 at 2:27 pm said:

lol Nice story. It reminds me of a time I was with some friends of mine and we were talking about guns, bullets, armor, terrorists and maps. Some of the people near us seemed to get a bit agitated…until we mentioned the words “Counter Strike”.

I also liked your “Indian Enough” link,

The great irony is that the most Â‘authenticÂ’ desis, those raised in India, are often bored with their own palettes and lack of cultural diversity. TheyÂ’re simultaneously impervious to charges of selling out and, with the cosmopolitan ones, more interested in outmarrying than desis raised in the U.S. ItÂ’s the grass-is-greener effect: in London, you can sell burgers as Authentically American! while in the U.S., wine proclaims itself D.O. status. (Granted that nobody sells Tasty English food! per se.)

…Couldn’t have said it better myself.
DesiDudeInAustin on December 23, 2005 at 3:01 pm said:

That link from the word ‘Sikh’ takes us to a Biswanath Halder pic. Granted, we’ve never seen Ennis’s face. But the man needs to have a turban round his head.
Pattie Kaur on December 23, 2005 at 5:00 pm said:

That link from the word ‘Sikh’ takes us to a Biswanath Halder pic. Granted, we’ve never seen Ennis’s face. But the man needs to have a turban round his head.

ennis surely can’t that bad. besides, the beard’s a different colour. and i bet he’s not that freaky looking!
Saheli on December 23, 2005 at 5:12 pm said:

Did you follow all the rules of eating Sushi Sushi Sushi?? 🙂
Manish Vij on December 23, 2005 at 5:50 pm said:

That link from the word ‘Sikh’ takes us to a Biswanath Halder pic.

Whoah… that wasn’t editorial commentary. Fixed, thanks.
green angel on December 24, 2005 at 11:55 am said:

I think it’s unfortunate that we have to watch what we say in public for fear of panicking bystanders.