Veezher

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If you thought Russell Peters’ material was too stereotypical in New York, watch what happens when a desi comedian plays Cincinnati. Rajiv Satyal, a moonlighting P&G’er, plays to stereotype up the yin-yang with threadbare jokes about camels, Kwik-e-Marts, Slurpees, terrorists and ‘thank you, come again.’ Wince.

He even calls himself Razheev. It’s my pet peeve, the weird American idea that Indian languages pronounce ‘j’ like in French. If you’re foreign in the movies, you’re given a British accent; if you’re foreign in real life, you’re assumed to be French. Sometimes it seems the only countries we know are the ones which fought here 250 years ago. Over New Jersey.

So take back your ‘Veezh,’ please. It’s Vij, just like it’s spelled, thankyaverramuch. Like Spanish, we’re into phonetic spelling down on the subcontinent. For your confusion, thank the French:

Send these, the confused, pronunciation-challenged to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Related posts: Russell Peters strikes again, Russell Peters show online, Paul Varghese delivers on ‘Last Comic Standing’: God’s own comedy, God’s own comedy

62 thoughts on “Veezher”

  1. Good thing you said it first then 😉

    Apologies for my dodgy jokes on previous occasions; Apart from having a slightly badmaash sense of humour, believe it or not I am actually a thorough gentleman in real life 😉

    No, really, I am……stop sniggering…..I’m not really a cad, I just look like one (apparently)

  2. You know the bloom is still on the rose when you can see a couple talking dirty in public 😉

    1. indian names – you guys need to get over yourselves. names get mispronounced. believe it or not, my actual name gets destroyed, so i correct people and move on (i’m sure this will get me flamed here – please bring it on, bc i won’t be reading this post :).

    2. rajiv – he’s actually funnier than most comics (at least mc’s + features currently on the circuit). his act is smarter and more put together than half the crap performing at his level (in clubs). the ‘elections’ bit is great, and has nothing to do with being indian. the indian stuff is just his in w/ a crowd (esp at a russell peters show).

    i’ll let you get to your regular scheduled picking at inconsequential shit, as it’s what empowers you on the internet.

    -p.parker

  6. How would the name Aradhia be pronounced?

    Aa – raadh – yaa where dh sounds like the first consonant in ‘the’ followed by ‘h’

  7. Desis who are in journalism (or media in general) should start with pronouncing the name the way they are supposed to.

    Media desis in New York are especially egregious here.. I usually have to do a double-take before I decide whether they are “caribes”/guyanese.. on the other hand, say Daljit Dhaliwal with a clipped British accent, and .. you’ll understand 🙂

    http://www.esquire.com/women/gallery/990801_mww_dhal_main.html

  9. un-ju-lee
    three syllables – no break for a breath.
    un- as in under
    ju- as in just
    lee- as in flee

  10. Manish Vij, I don’t even know how to pronounce your name! Is it Man-ish, or Ma-neesh? Even the easy ones are hard for us Americans!

  11. un-ju-lee

    three syllables – no break for a breath.

    un- as in under

    ju- as in just

    lee- as in flee

    thank you!! you cannot even begin to imagine how many ways i get people pronouncing my name (GREIVOUSLY wrong)! i can maybe give them a break if they can’t pronounce it right just from reading it, but to f*ck it up after i SAY IT? that’s my biggest pet peeve. and as a non-brown indian half-breed (or the one true windian, as my high school friends called me), you can imagine i got it a lot.

    by the way, can anybody tell me how to write Anjali in hindi? i’d ask my dad, but we’re in different cities at present and he couldn’t well show me. i used to know, but have since forgotten. thanks!