An Asian-American college student cries brutha-on-brutha violence:
Who are Asian girls dating? Whites and South AsiansIn one of the discussion classes I taught last year at Berkeley, half of the Asian girls in the room stated that they do not prefer to date Asian men… who are they dating?… The most obvious [answer was] white men… The second most common answer from the girls was Indian men (South Asians).… their responses centered around… economic status and physical attractiveness… the Asian girls said that both white men and Indian men in our society (especially here at Berkeley) were viewed as successful, intelligent, and confident….
… the girls said that they found these two groups of men to be physically attractive… My conjecture in this case would be that both groups tend to share the same sharp features (Greco-Roman noses/eyes) that the media tends to value.
… Asian women are “up for grabs”… Asian men are getting the axe on two levels here. First, they are only seen as being able to date their own kind… At the same time, their own kind, at an increasing rate, tends not to prefer them sexually. [Link]… the Asian male as sexually impotent voyeur or pervert is a reoccuring icon, appearing throughout American cultural history and especially in film. Notable examples of this include Mickey Rooney in “yellowface” as the bucktoothed Japanese landlord who sneaks peeps at Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) or the pathetically asexual nerd Long Duk Dong in John Hughes’ adolescent classic Sixteen Candles (1984). [Link]
Oooooh – we want to hear more, MD!
samurai snags southern belle.
My brain hiccuped, Razib, and I read “samurai sword” instead of just samurai. Ouch, that’s gotta hurt.
His dad is a trumpet player named Tiger. How awesome is that?
cough, cough guest blogger?
The appeal of MD’s comment is that she summarily describes just about every kind of man 🙂
My brain hiccuped, Razib, and I read “samurai sword” instead of just samurai.
are you talking literally? or interracial porn like?
YIKES!!!! Razib, I’m sorry, no, I wish I had been that clever, but I wasn’t. I really envisioned a katana catching on a frilly dress.
Now I’ll probably have nightmares, thanks.
This relates, and puts a spin on the discussion re Asian gendered sterotypes: this is a bit of an (in)famous website I stumbled onto a year ago: Its a mock mail order bride website. Very clever.
Is Love Colorblind?
Origins of the Angry Asian American
…with the above as a starting place, it should be noted that intermarriage rates (the only real quantitative proxy, b/c interracial dating stats are hard to come by) vary widely from country to country, esp. for South Asians.
But I think it’s probably true that a Big Five type battery followed by non-metric MDS would put South Asian immigrants nearer** to Europeans behaviorally than most other ethnic groups. This explains quite a lot of the observations.
And for the rest? The stuff people think but do not say? Take it away, Jared Diamond!!
**–this is a way of quantifying something that would otherwise be attacked as a baseless “stereotype”
For those who really want to cut to the chase:
Jared Diamond page 1, Jared Diamond page 2.
(PS: not an outlier: study 2, study 3)
And here I thought the reason why I wasn’t getting any girls was because I didn’t have any game…. wait no, thats still probably true
Ovaltine— HAHAHAH, i would have to say that reason is probably the biggest. I’m a south asian male, and i’m going to call out 80% of desi guys in the states for being complete retards. I’m sorry, if you are a complete dick who is self absorbed, you drive a mercedes, and you have nothing interesting to talk about except yourself, you’re going to be lonely regardless if you were brown, white, black or orange. Perhaps delving into what makes south asian males inadequate to compete with their “white” counterparts for girls is what should be the focus. This isn’t really an issue for girls, guy’s for the most part want a hot girl, we usually don’t discriminate.
My experience has been interesting, i grew up with white people and hitting on white girls. I was more surprised at the higher exceptance of indian girls liking me when i was finally exposed to a few in college. Now i’m just plain hooked, maybe they are easier since i’m brown or maybe they’re just attracted to my white-washed antics.
Regardless, i’ve had just as many headaches with all colors of girl
‘Perhaps delving into what makes south asian males inadequate to compete with their “white” counterparts for girls is what should be the focus.’
I don’t think anyone was suggesting that South Asian males measure up ‘inadequately’ compared with white males. That only applies to East Asian males.
White-washed antics, Im going to have to figure out what that means and then try it
Lets take this conversation back to the motherland. The question i have is how do Indians perceive folks from indian subcontinent who are who are “more asian” racialy(or visualy) eg Manipuri, Nepalis, Sikkimese, etc
I dont know of any ‘asian’ looking subcontinentals who were super successful in indian media. I’ve noticed the following people:-
So, the power equation has changed against the Asian/South Asian male. I think the situation of the South Asian male is being portrayed a little too favorably here. It is true, a lot of second gen Indian guys turn out very well rounded, but the vast majority I have known are truly pathetic – they score nothing, zilch, nada. Moreover they suffer from a weird complex – getting a hot chick from say New Delhi is not an option. I do not understand, there are at least half a dozen first generation Asian chicks in my office who are married to white american guys. So, if White Americans have no problems in going for first gen Asian/Indian girls, why don’t the second gen Asian/Indian guys go for them? It would make perfect sense given the demand/supply scenario.
Saheli, why the hostility towards Americans? Haha, you’re kidding, right? You want me to list the reasons I dislike America?
But before you all jump on me, I can name as many reasons why I LIKE America. And of course I don’t have a blanket rule against Americans, cos I come here and I like all you beautiful people! (except one of you)
The thing about ‘East Indian’ is very infuriating for me as it typifies the American desire to simplify things. Sulfur. Color. The dude who invented the phrase ‘East Indian’ clearly thought “whoa, we gots Injuns here, but youz tellin me there’s a country called INDIA? With Injuns too? But they ain’t wild Injuns like Crazy Horse? Where’s this India? In the EAST you say? Well I know what we’ll call them!”
He was probably very satisfied with himself that you now have Indians, East Indians and West Indians.
Why don’t they call Paris ‘French Paris’ to differentiate between the place in Texas?
Come on MD, don’t defend a thick term like that. What the hell does someone from Bombay/Bengal refer to themself as? A west East Indian? An East squared Indian? Bah!
Whoops. I got Saheli and MD muddled up. I’m standing up and typing – hence I can’t concentrate very well. Forgive nah?
Bongo – LOL
So whos this one person??? Btw, you know they have a place called Delhi in NY.
cocopuffs- thank you for the first 2 sentences! these are the same guys who go out to a club in packs of 15 and wonder why they won’t get let in. (can anybody say “sausagefest”?)
Bongsy-
now what did I do? 😉
Re: comment 64: I would add Sikkim’s Bhaichung Butia to the list, he’s India’s most famous soccer player.
My own comment re: post 64: Danny Dengzongpa is a seriously underrated actor and he was excellent in Agneepath — very charismatic dude.
DesiDancer,
How much time do you have ? 😉
Desiboy – i didn’t mean measure up like dick size, if anything its the opposite “pencil thin evian drinking carrot nibbling bunny” (brooklyn funk essentials – i got cash)
Ovaltine- white washed antics…well its basically WMA theory, white male american mindset, this equates to thinking primarily of yourself and acting like a blithering idiot. for good accoutns read something like http://www.tuckermax.com, that should give you some ideas
DesiDancer – i like the fact you can dance, and i’m glad it doesn’t involve the pack of 15 gross guys. But do you really dance? can you hustle? if so, i would love to dance. But back to desis, as much as guys are horrible, so are the females, most of the desi girls i met can’t dance, but they can do pelvic thrusts in counter clockwise motion while mounted on some guy at the club.
cocopuffs, I can bring it. I can dance, I can hustle, I can jitterbug, watoosi and tango. I can bolly-ballet-breakdance. Me and BongBreaker, we face off like “Rize” 😉
Cocopuffs,
I believe she does it professionally, so I’m assuming she can boogie quite well.
Coco Puffs – So acting like a blithering idiot is suppost to help me!?! I much as I think there is a logical disconnect in being an ass and picking up girls it seems to work .. I have no idea
Ovaltine,
That Prooves Girls are irrational…….This gives me some hope:)
DesiDancer – i’m guessing ur across the pond? you missed salsa 😉 if your ever in boston gimme a shout! or not(i may secretly be one of those gross indns)
Ovaltine- come on bro, not a blithering idiot, but take a look at how this goes down typically. How many girls do you know settle for blithering idiots…they must be doing something right. All i’m saying is being a south asian guy, you gotta break out of the stereotyped “sausagefest” guys. AKA gain a fashion sense and don’t just be a clone with the black armani shirt, banana republic pants, and the super short gelled hair. Forget all that, clothes mean shit as compared to your conversation. I don’t know where this comment is going, but all the previous comments seem so sad.
Do you guys want somebody to write you a guide on how to get laid or something?
Cocopuffs, I leave the Salsa to our resident expert, Mirchi Manish Vij. He had auditioned for “So You Think You Can Dance” but they actually turned him away because the show would have been over in one episode, when he shamed all the other contestants and was crowned ultimate dancing champion of the Western World. 😉
DesiDancer – LOL !
Cocopuffs,
Yes.
Guide on getting laid
Do you guys want somebody to write you a guide on how to get laid or something?
Cocopuffs, go for it man, write a book, I will Pumpin all my black money, if u want I cud get something thru Hawala…..Its high time there is a book for desi guys on how to get laid.
If you need it immediately…..I will steal the AmXpress card from my roomate and send it thru paypal.
I am very proud to give my hand for a good cause.
methinks your target audience with such a book is already giving their hand…
-chuckle-
and again ‘chuckle’ ‘Chuckle’
DesiDancer – i like your style, well more like your sarcasm. Question: are all you SM junkies all old friends or from some giant patel family?
Manish Vij- exactly. I’m only on this blog when i’m at work, it makes the day go by faster, THANKS SEPIA MUTINY
O’Ya Bula Bula Bi & Logical Disconnect – You guys want a book for desi guys on how to get laid…hmm…i guess it could be a fun project… i do know of something to get you started, Neil Strauss has written a number of interesting articles in Esquire on this topic, not so much as getting laid as picking up women. One of the articles was “How i seduced Britney Spears” or something like that. Either way it says that the articles are excerpts from a book he just published “the game:penetrating the world of pick-up artists” I saw some of the reviews online, looks like it could fun read. Keep in mind i don’t think its audience is desi males for hitting on desi girls.
Logical Disconnect – HOW MUCH BLACK MONEY DO YOU HAVE? If you fund me i will write you a story
CocoPuffs,
Due to the non disclosure agreement, I signed with the IRS, I am not supposed to reveal how much money I have in Black to anybody, except the IRS:)
IRS is a good friend of mine….so give me an estimate on the book…….then we will make a deal with the IRS and try to color all the black money into white.
And then I lived happily ever after……..
logical disconnect – email me
HAHHHahh! omigod. yes. Cocopuffs you nailed it. The Structure Boys. (does anyone here remember that store, or am I showing my age by referring to it?) Convinced that they are as cool as it gets. blech.
Of course, you get the contingent of desi chix who’re all cloned up in tight black pants and lycra haltertops from BeBe. Let’s just step aside and let both groups get drunk and spawn, shall we?
My real-life male fashion idol is a desi friend who rocks 70s funk FOB attire. This translates to slightly too-short pants and too-large collars, but all cotton. I’m going to bust out homemade dresses in garish prints to keep up with him.
Your real-life friend is Jeetendra?
lol. lets.
Imagine their children…
ooh, good one 😉 His mom DID name him after a Bollywood star – just not that one.
scary thing is, there really is a good book idea here. “The Desi Dude’s Guide to Women” or some such. seriously. you’d just have to prove that there was enough of a market, but demographics and income statistics properly deployed will take care of that, especially if you keep production costs down (avoid glossy photos) and accept a small advance.
i’m sure that the mutineers have been thinking about books, in fact i’d bet they’ve been contacted by agents/editors, and maybe something like this is already in the works. but you could really make a splash with a “sepia mutiny presents” label for this book… and later, for others.
peace
Dude, use some common sense. Most of us are single. Do you really think we are fit to write such a book or that anyone would want advice from us? That’s like asking a blind man what kind of TV you should buy. 🙂
this is the US publishing industry we’re talking about. plenty of books have been commercial successes despite total lack of qualification on the part of their authors.
plus you could make like neal strauss and make it the story of a desi dude trying to get laid, full of pathetic/comic adventures, each one of which imparts an important lesson.
don’t tell me you haven’t thought of it — or something like it. because i won’t believe you!
second, cocopuffs been making some big claims about his ability to pull. just let him write it, you guys add the SM brand, and share the profits.
again — i’m dead serious about this.
peace
or let cicatrix write it. advice to the desi boys, from a girl who cares.
the internet is like a place where people say things they only notice on the street. like the amount of inter-racial asian couples where the girl is asian. lots of people notice it but not many say it out loud
i don’t think desi’s have too much to do with the debate, i can’t think we’re a big enough group to do much about anything either way
sometimes it makes perfect sense for an ‘outsider’, or in this case ‘someone who does NOT get laid’, to write it…plus you’ll know all the valuable ‘NOT’ and ‘NEVER’ dos…
dedicate a chapter or two to the FOBs and the brothers back home and you’ll have a bestseller….will let em know that there are no chics waiting for them at the airport.
thing like ‘Men are from Edison, Women are from Plano’.
Cica, I was that close? Ouch.