Monthly Archives: September 2005

Goyal’s toils

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Raghubir Goyal the Foil, the One-Track Uncle called on by White House press secretaries to evade tough questioning, shows up in a Daily Show segment. ‘Go ahead, Goyal,’ says the spokesman.

‘My question is in connection with the Prime Minister of India’s visit on Monday…’ he begins, sidetracking the preceding questions about domestic politics. Old faithful.

Watch the clip, he’s at 4:29.

Keep watching to see the other reliable escape hatch. Lester Kinsolving is the resident crank from WCBM Radio. A female reporter sits behind him, smirking and exchanging looks with other reporters while he asks a long, bizarre question about whether Dubya agrees with emperor Constantine’s fourth-century Christian theology.

Dude, have a little respect. I think we can safely assume POTUS knows about Constantine.

It had Rachel Weisz and Keanu Reeves and, like, totally rawked.

Previous post here.

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Bombay, the Mehta Way

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In case you missed it in hardcover, Maximum City will be out in paperback next Tuesday. sepiabook2.jpg

I will spare you my opinion of the book since Suketu Mehta appears to be Sepia regular, but just for those who can’t get enough, the Columbia Journalism Review runs a highly entertaining interview with Mehta in next month’s issue.

His interviewing technique:

I was writing as I was speaking to these people. IÂ’d bring out my laptop.. one of their hit men might say, ‘You know, we had a job to kill somebody for their laptop last week.Â’ And IÂ’d say, ‘Yes, IÂ’m aware of that” …. I noticed this subliminal thing started happening where as they spoke, I was literally typing. My fingers were dancing, and they would look at me and pick up these cues from when IÂ’m typing or not. Now, in India the problem isnÂ’t getting people to talk, itÂ’s getting them to shut up or to stick to the topic. And I didnÂ’t have to tell them to stick to the topic, but..when they wandered off into a tangent IÂ’d still be nodding, but my fingers werenÂ’t dancing. And so they would, without my ever having to say anything to them, come back to the topic that I was interested in…

Writing as self-actualization:

Each chapter was a journey into myself, into my weaknesses and my strengths. And I asked myself, Why was I attracted to these tough boys? And itÂ’s because in school I was a weedy kid, and I always looked up to the tough boys. The short and the smart sat at the front of the class….in the back were the people who had failed the grade and were taking it again or the really tall kids and we called them the LLBs — the Lords of the Last Bench. And I always looked up to these guys. These were the ones who were good at cricket, could get the girls. And here they were — they were grown up, and they were my protectors.

Even a hitman’s got a conscience:

I remember one of the hit men saying, ‘It used to happen that after I killed, the soul of the man I kill will come and sit on my chest. But then a Muslim gangster taught me to sleep in a fetal position with my back to the door, so the soul doesn’t have access to my chest so I can sleep peacefully.’ Each one of them had different rationalizations, including the police.

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Big Desi TV Week

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This American television season-premiere week for some reason has been filled with an unprecedented number of desis. Not including the various desis already appearing as regulars on television series, the week began with Indira Varma on Rome, Toral on the apprentice, and relative newcomer Maulik Pancholy on the new Showtime series Weeds, which airs Monday’s at 10 pm.   Pancholy, who was previously seen in Hitch, and appeared as various generic brown characters in a handful of sitcoms (including Jack and Jill and the hilarious Tracey Takes On), scored a recurring guest role on Weeds, which stars Mary-Louise Parker and Kevin Nealon. A bit early to say, but could Pancholy be the next Kal Penn?


Incidentally, Pancholy is starring in the off-Broadway play, India-Awaiting, which opens for previews on October 15, 2005 at the Samuel Beckett Theater.

See Manish’s previous post on Pancholy here.

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Congressman Bhakta??

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Don’t forget to set those TiVos because tonight marks the debut of Season IV of The Apprentice.  As previously reported, Toral Mehta will make her debut.  Guess who just decided to steal the spotlight?  That’s right. The Raj is back (thanks for the tip “Bella”):

Raj Bhakta, former contestant on Donald Trump’s reality show, said he is contemplating challenging Congresswoman Allyson Schwartz in next year’s election for the 13th District.

“I think Allyson Schwartz is a formidable opponent, clearly. At the same time, I think she’s beatable,” Bhakta said, adding that he wants to run “because I think it’s very important to have a fresh, progressive, conservative voice representing the parts of the country that are not necessarily blue and not necessarily red.”

Bhakta, a 29-year-old businessman from the Fort Washington area, is a Republican. He said he has talked to Montgomery County GOP chairman Ken Davis and Philadelphia GOP leader Vito Canuso and plans to go to Washington, D.C., next week to talk to the National Republican Congressional Committee.

Davis – who said he never watched “The Apprentice” – said he had no trouble taking Bhakta seriously.

“Any candidate who decides to do this and is as organized and as thoughtful as I think he is, you have to take them seriously,” Davis said Tuesday. “He has a lot of ideas, and he’s a very bright young man. I think he is a serious candidate.”

What would Raj stand for?  If you remember I previously blogged about his political venture the Coalition for the Advancement of the Republic.  Doesn’t seem like he has added much to the website though.

Before he can hammer his opinions into a campaign platform, however, Bhakta said he knows he has a monumental task: figuring out where the cash will come from.

“Everywhere I’ve gone, even before they ask me what I believe, they ask how much money I can raise,” Bhakta said. “For one district in Congress, to know that $10 million could be spent on the election, aggregately. Well, something’s wrong there.”

Yes, Raj now knows that in the world of politics the only thing that matters is how much cash you can raise.  He should also know to stay on Karl Rove’s good side if he wants Roves operatives to help him out.  Recently Raj, and other semi-celebrities, were asked to suggest a reading list for President Bush while he vacationed at Crawford.  Here was Raj’s advice:

” ‘Empire,’ by Neil Ferguson. He should read it with an eye towards realizing that as we stumble further into ’empire,’ we should avoid the inevitable fate of them all.” – Raj Bhakta, former contestant, “The Apprentice”; chairman, Coalition for the Advancement of the Republic

Rove has an all seeing eye.  That kind of teasing could get you in the GOP’s dog house.

See previous Raj posts.

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I am Fangirl. Hear me purr.

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SM reader Kiran wrote:

I went to the show last night. Amazing!
But our camera crapped out. Did anyone get any good shots? I would love to see them..

Kiran, my dear…the Mutiny is ALWAYS in the front row, dead center baby, especially at the 9:30 club. Last night, I took 333 pictures of Miss Arulpragasam– that’s M.I.A. if you’re nasty– they are unedited and up on flickr, right this second. Check the slideshow of her show here.

If I weren’t so busy working for the (wo)Man, I’d cull the current set of 283 further, caption some of them and then write a post which told you an enchanting story called, “The Concert that was Worth Respraining my Ankle for”. What a show. Continue reading →

Hurricane Rita Alert (update)

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Hurricane fatigue set in, so I’m horrified to admit now that I haven’t followed the latest developments on Hurricane Rita. Until I heard this morning that it had been upgraded to a Category 5 storm, headed directly towards Houston. That’s where my Ammi lives!! sepiarita2.jpg.jpg

Several desperate phone calls later, Ammi intrepidly reports from my sister’s place in California:

They evacuated people from Galvaston and Corpus Christi. And they told people living near the coast, or near the bayous to leave. For everyone else, they kept saying not to panic…but if you can leave, go. But not to panic..it was really confusing.

Rita was downgraded to a Katrina-level Category 4 a few hours ago:

The National Hurricane Centre said the path of Rita, with top winds dropping slightly to 265 kph and is now a Category 4 storm, had shifted toward the north. It appeared to be headed toward Galveston and Houston…forecast to hit Texas as no less than a Category 3 storm with winds of up to 209 kph.

1.3 million Texans told to evacuate…Bumper-to-bumper traffic jams filled the region’s highways. Area stores were scrambling to keep supplies on the shelves while gas stations with fuel to sell dwindled to a precious few.

Maj. Gen. Charles Rodriguez of the Texas National Guard told CNN they have 3,500 troops on the ground and expect to have 5,000 by Friday evening and Saturday morning.[link]

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Peace, love and breakfast cereal

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The 3HO group of Sikh converts in the U.S. has made a small fortune on health food (thanks, commenters). Now, with real corn!

So the ginger asked the almond, “Could you make me a snack?” and the almond said, “Kazam! You’re a snack.”

What did the peanut say to the cashew? Gesundheit! [Link]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki granola bar? I gotta say, their sense of humor is authentically desi. Let’s not forget Yogi Tea, which tells us you don’t have to work your way into exotique, you can just drink it (via Tilo). On camelback in front of the Taj, apparently.

Exotic Teas: Savor the enchanting flavor and sweet aroma of spices from around the world… [Link]

Peace Cereal, a million dollar biz, pitches nirvana via breakfast cereal. It’s a Ben & Jerinder’s business model:

Peace Cereal has promoted the transformative power of peace by donating 10% of our profits to peace building organizations, resulting in more than $1 million in donations. [Link]

They even have a warm and fuzzy founder story like the one on every package of Mrs. Fields. When Yogi Bhajan baked his first batch of authentic guru cookies…

In 1969 Yogi Bhajan began teaching Kundalini Yoga in America, sharing the ancient wisdom of Ayurveda and healthy living that he had mastered in India. After each class he would serve his students a special spice tea based upon this healing science, which they affectionately named Yogi Tea… Golden Temple (bulk granolas), Peace Cereal (packaged cereals), Wha Guru Chew (candy bars), Herbal Gems (capsulated herb formulas), Sunshine (body care products) and Soothing Touch (professional massage products), were some of the companies… [Link]

Other parts of their empire: Ancient Healing Ways, Yogi Botanicals.

The whole thing strikes me as a cross between the friars who support themselves with wine, fruitcake and Web design and the same consumer couture which gags my bullshit sensor on Solano Ave. I’m more impressed with their business savvy. At least they have a sense of humor about it.

Related posts: one, two, three

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Washington monument

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My favorite festival with a faux-Muslim name starts in just a week. SALTAF, the South Asian Literary and Theatre Arts Festival, will indulge your culture-vulture proclivities in D.C. this October 1st weekend (thanks, Pooja). It sounds remarkably highbrow for a NetSAP/NetIP event.

The list of numinaries includes poet filmmaker Deepa Mehta, Vijay Seshadri, Nadeem Aslam (Maps for Lost Lovers), Anita Desai, M.G. Vassanji (Toronto South Asian Review and my fave title ever, Amriika) and Shyam Selvadurai. With that literati-centric lineup, maybe they should just name it SAJA Delhi and call it a day

This documentary on the parallels between kathak and flamenco looks interesting:

Firedance by Vishnu Mathur

Two renowned Toronto performers… each [tell how]… Kathak and flamenco shared an ancient history. Soon they started working together… Joanna and Esmeralda demonstrate in the documentary how similar the foot and hand movements of these two dance forms are – and they trace the evolution of the differences that came about in the course of time; Flamenco using shoes for sound and subtle nuance, Kathak bells and bare feet for its rhythmic expressions.

Here’s the festival schedule.

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“Khaaaaaaaaaannnnnn” Noonien Singh

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The title of this post needs no explanation if you have even an ounce of cool in you (like me).  Has a more famous word ever been uttered in a 20th century movie?  I think not.  Here is quick background on the movie Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan for you virgins:

Khan, a genetically engineered “superman” prone to megalomaniacal delusions, was exiled years ago to the barren planet Ceti Alpha 5. He blames Admiral Kirk for his hard fate, as well as for his son’s death, and vows revenge. When Commander Chekov mistakenly beams down to Khan’s lair, the villain finally has a means of escape. Using a parasitic creature that allows him to control the minds of his victims, Khan seizes command of the Starship Reliant. From there he hopes to lure Kirk to his death, using equipment stolen from an experimental research project. These devices allow him to trigger something known as the “Genesis Effect” — a means of generating new life from existing matter. Khan plans to use the creation machines as weapons, because the same fire of life that creates new worlds must destroy what existed before. Kirk and crew need all the courage and cunning they can muster in order to save their friend and silence Khan forever. [Link]

For those wanting a more detailed background (and you really should) please read here and here.  One important detail I had not known (or more likely forgotten until Punjabi Boy reminded us this morning) is that the most brilliant villain in science fiction history was a Punjabi Sikh.  You have to delve deep into Star Trek fiction literature to find the background on Khan.  Luckily there happens to be an entire website (I shit you not) about Sikhs in Science Fiction.

The Eugenics Wars: The Rise and Fall of Khan Noonien Singh by Greg Cox

Although Khan Noonien Singh is the title character of this novel, he is not mentioned by name until more than half-way through the book. The last third focuses primarily on Khan, who is explicitly identified as a Sikh character herein. Prior to the Khan scenes, there are scenes in India with Sikh guards. But the Sikh-related material that is most prominent is in a chapter set in 1984, when Khan is just fourteen years old and living in Delhi. The Indian military has brutally attacked Amritsar, at the command of Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, who has subsequently been assassinated by her Sikh guards. Khan gets caught in the middle of the resulting anti-Sikh violence, as he must flee an angry mob intent on killing him.

Yes, yes.  Those who are immersed in violence at an early age often regrettably turn to violence.  How popular a villain was Khan?  There are poems about him, and you can also take a quiz to see how much you know about him.  Also, for any girls (or boys) who had a crush on Khan (played by actor Ricardo Montalban) in the 80s, here is a fun fact:  his breasts are fake, a prop.  He ain’t really that cut. They ARE real.

I’ve done far worse than kill you. I’ve hurt you. And, I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me–as you left her [Khan’s wife]–marooned, for all eternity, in the center of a dead planet: buried alive…       -Khan [Link]

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Size does matter

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If you were the owner and director of an aquarium, what better name could you possibly have than “Moby.”  Dr. Moby Solangi, owner and director for the Marine Life Oceanarium in Gulfport, MS, is a very happy man today.  The Times explains why:

Amid all the stories of devastation and death emerging from Hurricane Katrina, one happy chapter was written yesterday — courtesy of eight bottlenose dolphins.

They had lived in a marine aquarium for decades and were domesticated — three were born in captivity — but were washed miles out to sea when the hurricane hit Mississippi. Their owner feared that they lacked the skills of the wild to survive in the Gulf of Mexico.

But in a feat of navigation that has stunned their trainers, all eight have been discovered huddled together in fetid water a few hundred yards from land, having found their way back to the site in Gulfport where their aquarium once stood.

Their owner, Moby Solangi, speaking to The Times from a boat as he fed the dolphins last night, said: “We thought they were lost. They have all been in captivity for between 30 and 40 years. We didn’t think they had any navigation skills, and yet they are back here. We never thought we would find them, all together, so quickly.”

The chart on the right displays body weight vs. brain weight in some common animals.  The farther to the northwest of the solid central line, the more intelligent the creature.  As you can see there isn’t much of a difference between the owner of the aquarium and his prized dolphins.  These dolphins did exactly what I would have done: wait out the storm in a pack and then try to find my way home.  They’ve lost weight and they’ll get no help from FEMA (although you can help), but at least they survived and are now chillin’ at the Holiday Inn (sippin’ some Hen’).  Voice of America has the video.

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