I must have something to read near me at all times. On those rare occasions when I have “free time”, before I leave the house, I make sure I have at least a magazine (and my moleskine, and my camera andÂ…) with me, so that IÂ’ll be able to read. Life insists on making us pause unexpectedly when weÂ’d rather be achieving, mischief-making or just crossing another item off of our to-do lists; the only reason hyperactive me doesnÂ’t mind this immutable fact is because it means I get to read.
When I was a child, if I couldnÂ’t find the newspaper, IÂ’d read the back (or side) of the cereal box while crunching away on Rice Krispies. I still do this. IÂ’ll read anything, if IÂ’m desperate enough. When I found a job in a building that sits on top of a metro stop, I was overjoyed. The Washington Post got a phone call and I got a subscription to read during my 16-minute commute, each way. Sometimes, I canÂ’t help myself, I start reading the minute IÂ’m out my front door, on the block-and-a-half walk to the subway (yes, I am aware of how lucky I am to live next to and work on top of public transportationÂ…if you want to gnash your teeth even harder out of envy, know this: home and work are on the SAME metro line. No transferring for me, no siree Babu).
Speaking of having to pause when I’d rather be “achieving”, Wednesdays are for staff meetings. Over the last few weeks, it’s become a tradition to get overpriced yuppie beverages in preparation for such events. Unfortunately for indie-coffee shop lovinÂ’ me, there are no less than four Starbucks within a half-mile radius, combined with three Cosi and not one damned other choice in sight. While I go out of my way to avoid the mer-mascotted former, the latter (RIP: x and o) isnÂ’t even worth that effort, since their coffee tastes like punishment for wasting money.
Truthfully, some of the best coffee IÂ’ve had on the right coast came from my old bodega in midtown, on 8th avenue in the theater district. IÂ’d be tickled to the point of swooning right now if I could still hand the smiling, wordless Korean guy who owned the place (and whom I adored) a single dollar for a cup that would magically never spill though it was placed in a humble little paper bag vs in one of those fancy, carefully molded egg-carton-y drink holders. That freshly brewed, unpretentious elixir was brightened with my choice of parmalat milks (which were nestled in the ice of the salad bar) and sweetened with an open pot of sugar (which offered a communal spoon); there were no sleek nissan flasks or individual packets of white dust which give lab rats cancer, nor were there little shakers for cinnamon, nutmeg and pixiedust. THAT coffee tasted like love, and it was served in an iconic container which became even more famous when SJP caressed it during every other ep of SATC. IÂ’m 225 miles from THAT perfection, hours away from a city that doesn’t frown at me when I insist on ordering with quaint adjectives like small, medium, large. Sigh. So.
Earlier today, while in the aforementioned weekly staff meeting, I noticed words on my coffee cup. Since I had already briefed the team on the status of my project, I tried to hide my glee—I suddenly had something to read! I mean, itÂ’s not like I get to smuggle a book in to an activity where IÂ’m meant to at least give the appearance of being attentive. 😉 I couldnÂ’t see the entire mystery message; the only words visible were, “The Way I See It #30”. Quietly and methodically, I dismantled the little bit of allegedly recycled cardboard which concomitantly protects my hand from the heat of the cup and the ass of Starbucks from the heat of a lawsuit. The damned thing seemed glued on.
Und vat have ve here?
The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.
What the-? Perhaps the question I should cut off for effect should be “Who the-“?
–Deepak Chopra Author of The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire and other spiritual guides.
Further below that, the stuff that Starbucks probably made lawyers rich over:
This is the authorÂ’s opinion, not necessarily that of Starbucks. To read more or respond, go to www.starbucks.com/wayiseeit.
Hmmm.
Hurriedly putting on my investigative blogging hat, I went to that website. One problem: thereÂ’s no mention of Deepak C, no cute little blurb, no bio, no nothinÂ’. Just this, really:
What prompted Starbucks to begin this program? Starbucks has long been dedicated to creating a unique “third place” between home and work. We also draw on the centuries-old tradition of the coffeehouse as a place to gather, share ideas, and enjoy delicious beverages. We see this program as an extension of the coffeehouse culture – a way to promote open, respectful conversation among a wide variety of individuals.
How does Starbucks select contributors and quotes? Initially, we invited a number of notable contributors from various fields, without payment or promise of publication. If the author chose to participate, and contributed something original that fit within the scope of our editorial guidelines, we considered it for publication.
More research uncovered that Starbucks has been in trouble for this unexpected series; conservatives were outraged when Armistead Maupin wrote something GAY for the “Way I See It” project, and dozens of homophobes touched it, thereby catching gay cooties.
From Queer Day:
On one hand we have the mega-giant corporation, on the other – The Concerned Women of America has targeted Starbucks for promoting “homosexual values” by including quotes from gay individuals. They’re also upset that Starbuck’s supported the San Diego gay pride event. “If Starbucks is doing this knowingly, it is blatant irresponsibility Â… All I could think was ‘Starbucks hates children,’” a delusional reactionary named Meghan Kleppinger wrote. Maupin is quoted saying:
“My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don’t make that mistake yourself. Life’s too damn short.” The campaign also features quotes from other gay celebrities including singer–songwriter Rufus Wainwright, and musician Stephin Merritt. Other voices include Quincy Jones, Deepak Chopra, Olympic medalist Michelle Kwan and others.
At least Queer day knew Chopra was a part of this little experiment, which is more than I can say for Starbucks. In fact, the only place I found anything about Chopra’s not-so-subliminal message to me was on a site devoted to Leadership coaching for Chiropractors (random!).
Here is how someone on that site felt about my in-meeting reading material– ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out, it’s a raspberry latte-fueled manifesto!
I was blown away by such a simple, profound passage being conveyed in the context of a commercial coffee cup. I was amazed at the taste of Starbucks and impressed with their willingness to promulgate such a societally conscious philosophy.
But the most surprising part for me was the small print at the bottom of the statement – “This is the author’s opinion, not necessarily that of Starbuck’s. To read more or respond, please go to www.starbucks.com/wayiseeit. I guess that, no matter how pure and beautiful the message, the legal team insists on a disclaimer to avoid someone’s misinterpretation leading to a litigious event.
I know what itÂ’s like to be unjustly accused, so I can understand the trepidation StarbuckÂ’s shows in trying to partially detach from material it is obviously promoting. It just seems so ironic that a proclamation about openness and loving non-judgment needs to be asterisked for those who donÂ’t relate and might get ugly about it.
I recognize that one of the responsibilities of a truly free society is to create some boundaries to prevent uncontrolled chaos. I just wish common sense would prevail – alas, like everyone else, my definition of that is tinged with my own perspectives.
So, declare your truth, but make sure you know the game. It’s what all politicians have to become expert at – spinning what they do to get the maximum positive response with the least flak. For anarchists like myself, it could rub a bit, but if it means that millions get to read good stuff like that while sipping their daily beverage, the trade-off may well be worth it.
Anarchists like Starbucks? and Deepak Chopra? My mind is blown.
LOL. This post just cracked me up.
“This is the authorÂ’s opinion, not necessarily that of Starbucks. To read more or respond, go to http://www.starbucks.com/wayiseeit.”
I like the ‘necessarily’. Like it could be. Starbucks isn’t into judging anything, just $$$. And maybe Deepak Chopra doesn’t judge his starbucks coffee and luvves it like he luvves himself!
Anna, do you ever read the back of the shampoo bottle during a shower? Don’t tell me I’m the only weird one.
It’s right there in the name. Just replace the “b” with an “f”.
or with a “d”, “g”, “m” or “s”. Evil has more names than you can possibly imagine 🙂
I read the backs of shampoo bottles too!!!!! When I was a kid, I would see fl. oz. (you know, fluid ounces) and think it really meant floral ozones. I was a fascinating child.
Rinse, lather, and repeat (if desired.)
I so read the shampoo bottles! 😉
sonia, of course i do. frankly, i’d be concerned if i found out someone DIDN’T. 😉
Dudes, I read the shampoo ingredients and ponder why ammonium lauryl sulfate is necessary in pretty much every shampoo I’ve owned. Clearly, I need to adopt the military shower routine. 😉
what a bunch of wimps, those starbuckers! It’s like saying “we’d love to enlighten you and make you think, but we really don’t want to take credit for it if something goes awry…”
wusses. and their green tea frappucino tastes like 400-calorie-per-serving a$$.
oh dear lord, i had a sample of that a few weeks ago…it was totally wretched. there’s a REASON why people don’t combine green tea with cream starmorons. i don’t care if you blend it, it still tastes like poo.
did you click on the foamy the squirrel cartoon? the language may be NSFW, but it’s soooo worth it. 😉
YAH! Though the dumpling bar on 23rd has an amazing green tea milkshake. Imagine my dismay when I ordered the starsucks thing and found out it was goose crap in a glass 🙁 and what’s with the melon syrup? Who puts that in green tea??
i have no idea, darling. to me, the green tea frappuccino is perfect proof of starsuckian arrogance; “we’ll put any foul-tasting/smelling crap in a cup with our logo on it, and people will mindlessly hand us $5 for it! ha!”
of course, if you’re getting an iced drink like a frappuccino, you forfeit the opportunity to get deepak chopra’s wisdom on the side of your cup. 😉 choose your over-priced, misnamed libation carefully, corporate-coffee-slaves. 😀
Ma chère pleine de brim – ammonium lauryl sulfate is a foaming agent. Sadly, I read “ALS” thought “foaming agent”, and THEN read the rest of your comment.
ah Deepak…I wonder if throwing scalding Starbucks coffee (black, no sugar) on him would ruin his complexion. Nothing sleeping face down in a vat of vaseline wouldn’t fix. It’s all about moisture.
Starbucks was an addiction hard to kick out. I’ve been Starbucks free for 4 months, 3 weeks, 6 days, 20 hours and 49 seconds. Yipee!!!!
oz DesiTrain.Blogspot.com
blogs don’t hug:
you okay? your comment is kind of…disturbing. it’s one thing to dislike the guy’s books, snark about his blog, tell stories about how you went to college with one of his offspring who still sucks their thumb…quite another to wonder what you did. no matter how annoying i find someone, i don’t wish whatever-degree burns on them.
perhaps you haven’t had your coffee (black, no sugar) yet this morning, so you aren’t operating on all eight cylinders. 😉
Starbucks has a very anti-union stance, at least in NYC. They’ve enganged in a protracted campaign of harrassment against employees trying to organize, and may have violated Dept. of Labor standards on employee protections. That’s most of the reason I don’t go there anymore (the others being the coffee sucks and is overpriced).
In the shower? I read toothpaste tubes while brushing, store signs while driving (#love# that I can avoid the highway and drive thru the city to get to work), epic tomes while taking a poo-poo etc. Growing up, I realized how much time was wasted walking, so I perfected the art of reading while negotiating traffic on foot.
Echo the indie-coffee shop sentiments with a desi twist: eating at a dhaba in the homeland beats any restaurant or (name-international-fast-food-chain-salivating-over-Indian-middle-class-market here).
Suvir, well-played, sir. Now, that is impressive (and requires far too much coordination for me to ever do without severely injuring myself).
your best yet anna. it’s nice to see long posts like this from you here. i thoroughly enjoyed (and will never offer to take you to a starbucks, if given the opportunity in the future)
Why do a lot of the ‘bodegas’/delis in New York have coffee (and always in almond and hazel flavors) that tastes identical, like it flowed from the same mythical river? I have always wondered about this.
What I’d like to see on the side of a Starbucks cup:
“”Where has God gone?” he cried. “I shall tell you. We have killed him – you and I. We are his murderers. But how have we done this? How were we able to drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away the entire horizon? What did we do when we unchained the earth from its sun? Whither is it moving now? Whither are we moving now? Away from all suns? Are we not perpetually falling?”
–Friedrich Nietzsche
This is the authorÂ’s opinion, not necessarily that of Starbucks. To read more or respond, go to http://www.starbucks.com/wayiseeit.
Hey man! where’d you go. it isnt the same without you.
ooh reading the toothpaste tube .. I wonder why I never thought of doing that. Thanks for the idea … my next brushing will be much more entertaining =)
It could be worse y’all. If Starbucks ever decides to include quotes by Chopra explaining his “special” philosophies pertaining evolution, then I may just pour the hot coffee into my eyes to burn them out.
Sonia, there’s some SCARY shit in toothpaste. I’m not sure anyone should be reading that – it’s x rated. And, please don’t use it as an acne remedy!!!
For all them book lovers – Salman failed to make the shortlist for the Booker Prize – although sexy Zadie made it:
Although there is a certain desi connection to Julian Barnes’s novel look here.
My money is on Zadie Smith – she has been getting good reviews and the jury will want to do a symbolic gesture to give the prize to the young and new generation as represented by Zadie – all the other writers have been around too long. Thats what I reckon anyway.
ammonium lauryl sulfate is a surfactant. it foams up and makes your hair squeaky clean. so it is necessary in all shampoos.
yikes! sorry Anna! I will endeavour to recognize the boundaries of good taste from now on. What I meant to say was that importing the eastern mystics to the west is just as probable as importing western cowboys to the east. In my opinion. In my humble, innocuous opinion. Cool?
blogs don’t hug:
Yeah, we have enough of our own: ala Krishna and his Gopis – the original cowgirls!
what’s up w/ that “ETHOS” water? That has to be the most pretentious ass name ever.
Have fun with blog-names 🙂
After reading that, I’d need another coffee.
Umm… after reading that, I would need to turn to vodka. 😉
I sang the ingredients in shampoo in the shower when I was younger. And I too know exactly what is in breakfast cereal, toothpaste and body washes for reading the labels while I had nothing to do.
And coffee is teh ick, just like starbucks.
my major crib(actually one of many) with star bucks is why they have to borrow “chai” in any form or format. What sucks is “chai latte”- hello!!….especially after the delicious roadside chais- the fact that starbucks should use it instead of sticking to “tea” is well aggravating to say the least…who cares if they dole out starbucketfull of frapuccinos- dont touch my chai
Is this part of the desi character? Is it that we need to constantly stimulate our minds or are we just plain bored 😉 I have many non-desi friends, and I have never noticed this with them. I mean they read, but not like I do (or others here).
reading the 10-syllable ingredients in shampoos, toothpastes and chemically processed foods better prepares us to win spelling bees.
I would love to buy a cup of coffee without any Liberal ranting. Talk about your obscure rants.
While reading my latte cup, I noticed a quote that disturbed me it would seem that Starbucks is trying to promote Darwins idealisms, by printing such a Quote from Wells. Even though my cup stated this is not necessarily the opinion of starbucks,it would seem they had hand picked this piece of uninteligent group of words to total screw up an otherwise good cup of coffee. Oh well, since I am a profound advocate of the Bible, which teaches totally an opposite opinion from darwin. I suppose I’ll have to purchase my lattes from Paneras. Goodbye STARBUCKS.
I agree with Ron Johnson…..The Bible is the only truth, & this darwinism totally turned me off from my chi tea today!!!! Why not put something worth reading on the cup…..like a Scripture or 2. :~)I’m going back to Tim Horton’s.
goodbye strabucks
gone too far re God.. figment try living autonomously—then observe those become self loved–self absorbed –and narsacisstic–
re comment #247. The bible says in Psalm 14:1 that only a fool says in his heart that there is no God, and in 2 Corinthians 4:4 that the god of this world has blinded the minds of men.What I find most interesting about this is that Mr. scheel who wrote this comment is obviously of Dutch background as I am, and his name means crosseyed. And it is very obvious that he cannot see staight. I was very upset when I was at starbucks and read this comment, and they have certainly lost a customer over it.